Tuesday, December 29, 2009

19 Weeks!

I think I might be a little more normal. You know, like not as crazy? Ummm, okay, so I don't FREAK out like I did a few weeks ago, that means I'm not as crazy right? RIGHT?!?!

I feel good, great in fact. I think I'm ready for a party. Anyone want to invite me to your parties? I had a dream last night that I went out with two friends and came home WASTED. Geoff was soooo mad and I didn't know why. Then it hit me, oh yeah, I'm pregnant. That is how I feel, like I get a kick to the uterus and I go, oh yea, I'm pregnant. Sweet!

Speaking of dreams, I have sex dreams all the time! They are awesome. I heard of these things before and did not have any last time but hello, I like this baby SOOOOOOO much better already. (Kidding Sawyer, don't get your diapers in a knot!) I know, TMI.

Want to know more TMI? Farts. I don't get those girls that never fart in front of their significant other. EVERYONE FARTS! The other day Geoff and I were watching something and someone said, "I'm just sharing my love." No big deal until I'm about to rest my head on Geoff's lap and he's like, "I don't know if you want to do that, I'm about to share my love." It was sooooo funny. Needless to say, I've been sharing my love a lot lately. A lot. (How sexy am I?)

One other word: CHOCOLATE! Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I'm thinking about it. It's all I want. I wake up and want it, give in to temptation and want more. One Friday, after a few days of no chocolate, I went to playgroup early knowing the mom that hosted baked double chocolate muffins. I ate two and she sent me off with a few squares to put in my purse in case I had another, gasp, chocolate drought. If there is no chocolate within my reach for a few days and you mix some cocoa with snot, I might consider eating it. Really. And this all happened about two days after I told my friend I had no cravings. What a sucker I am for saying that! Anyway, I'm thinking curvy is in anyway? Isn't it? I'm working on getting WAY curvy.

Yeah, this whole thing is flying by. I'm sure having a toddler helps, this guy is crazy and I don't have time to remember that I'm pregnant and should sit, or not have him jumping on my stomach like a trampoline. He thinks this thing under my skin is some sort of new toy he should river dance on. He's going to make a great big brother.

Onto the curves.





P.S. 6 more days until the big ultrasound! Until then... chocolate!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Sewing still sucks.

But I'm buying a sewing machine. I know, I told you I'm a nut job!

Okay, so remember all that trouble I had and how many days it took me to thread a needle and how I wanted to sock sewing in the face? (No? Recap here.)

Well, I still might give it a good punch in the nose but as much trouble as all that needle and thread crap is, cool things come out of frustration and fake curse words. It also doesn't help that I'm picky and want things that cost thousands of millions of dollars that you can make for like 5 cents and a sewing machine and patience. It's that patience thing I REALLY need to invest in!

Example: Crib bedding. Yeah, so baby two is on its little way and I want it to be a girl so I'm looking at girl stuff in case this thing inside me IS missing a penis (No, we don't know yet, I'm just wishful internet browsing.) and all the crib bedding I like cost more than most mortgages. It's outrageous!

So check out this one. I love the ruffles and girliness of it. I LOVE the crib skirt and the thickness of the bumper but. $1,900?! I don't think so.



And check out this one. I love how long and flowy the crib skirt is and how simple and elegant the color and fabric is. $816? I don't think so!


Okay, last one. Check it out, doesn't even look cute, you can't even SEE the crib bedding but they expect you to shell out, are you ready, $3,370.00!!!! Who does this?! Don't you people remember the amazing, exploding poop diapers that starts at about 3 months?! In no way am I going to set something down in $3,000 bedding that craps down it's leg and barfs without realizing it!



So, yeah, in no way am I going to PAY that kind of money, I would much rather make it myself but that means you guys are going to have to listen to me complain throughout the whole process. (Or you can band together and buy me one of the first two and I'll spare you the fake cursing...) No, really, don't buy them, you can feel like all of Africa for that kind of money. Point is, I'm buying a sewing machine and you can't stop me. Neener ,neener, ha ha.

Oh and check out how awesome I am. This post requires you all to comment and reassure me that I am indeed out of this world and a superstar sewer. I actually GOT the damn stocking done. It's done. It's done and people were't lying, that thing takes up your time. I'll say easily about 75 hours of sewing went into this thing. Nutso. Don't try that at home boys and girls.




Don't let the details go unnoticed. Everything is stuffed or 3-D. The face is hand stitched (Is that the right lingo?) and even the BACK of Santa is finished and 3-D. Crazy huh? (Don't forget to tell me how awesome I am.)


The two ornaments at the bottom and attaching the front to back took eight hours in a row. EIGHT! Doesn't it kinda look like an iceskating outfit threw up on Christmas and this is the outcome?! I love SEQUINS! (Oh yeah, in case I have not mentioned it, don't forget to tell me how totally rocking I am.)



A big thanks to Aurora at Green is the New Black and Jenny at Jenny's Australian Needleart Journey. Without tips from these two, this thing would be a pile of felt in my trashcan. I owe you guys a night of drinking!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Almost....

The tree is up and a little stinker I know helped me decorate.





Our tree is decorated only half way up to the top, being sure to keep any glass ornaments out of Sawyer's reach. Not happy with our decision to keep a piece of Christmas out of his hands, I peek over to see Sawyer with the broom and I swear within a freakin' SECOND, he swung twice, the broom like a bat, and shattered two ornaments.

It still makes me laugh.

Merry almost Christmas, from me and my little slugger.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Friday Night

Geoff walked to the ATM to deposit my paycheck. I kissed him goodbye and continued on with dinner. As time passed I tried to brush some of my worries away. I mentioned earlier, Denver is kinda FREAKING OUT and innocent males are getting beat up. I don't want my husband to be beat up. I figured he stopped for a drink or ran another errand. My sweet potato latke things were taking 5 times longer than expected and each ended in disaster. I would make a terrible jew and (Close your eyes, this is where I REALLY stereotype) every Jew I met really knows how to party. I guess I have non party fun, lame blood running through my veins because these latkes really sucked. Geoff still wasn't home. I admitted latke defeat and threw the rest of the shredded potato mix into the trash as I attempted to ventilate our smoked out house.

Geoff walks in the door and I hear, "I was frisked!"

Huh?

Turns out as my husband was walking down the sidewalk, he noticed a cop car following him slowly, as he passed him bye, Geoff smile and waved. The cop pulled over and got out.

Officer: "Hi, you look like a nice guy but I have to ask, where are you going?"

Geoff: "Just heading to the bank, need to deposit some money."

Officer: "Hah, okay, I'm sorry but you match the description of a man that robbed a bank this morning, I need to search you."

Geoff totally surprised and wishing he took back his 'bank' answer: "I have an alibi, my wife has been home with me all day. I have my ID, do whatever you need to do sir."

A second later, Geoff realized I WASN'T with him all day, I was gone all morning.

I interrupt, "BABE, how much money did you REALLY deposit? Are we RICH?!"


My poor husband got frisked, said the officer did a very thorough job and his only reward were a few burned latkes and a smoked out condo. Yeah, we go all out on a friday night...not. But let me tell you, our account now is LOADED! ;)

(Denver Police, I'm totally joking. Please don't arrest me, I don't even like getting my name on the board.)


Happy Weekend!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Award

I know some of you guys are too cool for school but I'm not. I'm not the cool kid and I still LOVE awards! Jewles from A Blonde Walks into a Blog gave me this one recently! She must be on something strong cause I think you are suppose to give it to NICE bloggers, but hell, she gave it to me and can't take back now! Hear that, YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK!



So, I write ten things that make me happy and pass it on I think?

This is good since I've the crazy pregnant lady. Happy things...

1. Every time my husband is naked. (Uhhh, you asked!)

2. The look on Sawyer's face when he is proud of himself!

3. Kisses from Geoff and Sawyer. Oh and when Geoff rubs my face. AND when Sawyer cuddles. Love those two!

4. When you guys leave me comments. I love them. Love your comments, even if you don't agree with me. Love em!

5. Vacations and being able to drink on them with people I love, preferable somewhere warm oh and babysitters are nice too.

6. My friends in Turks and Caicos and California, and now one in Cleveland. I'm spoiled with awesome friends. You know those couples that are uneven, like the girl is HOT and the guy isn't or vice versa? It's like that with my friends. I don't deserve them. My friends are the best people in the world and I'm shocked they stick by my side year after year.

7. When my netflix pick was better than my husbands. We have this ongoing movie battle, and I like wining!

8. Happy hour outside on a warm day.

9. Pictures of people from before you knew them. Something is just so funny about seeing your buddy in head gear and a bad perm.

10. Learning. I love to learn, from professors, homework, mistakes, wise advice, books, news, culture clashes, my son. Learning rocks and the more you learn, the less you realize you know. Learning is so humbling.



There it is. Okay, now to spread the love. I'm going to try and focus on NICE and people that feel like friends through blogging...

1. Adorably Distracted: She is one of those incredibly nice people. She puts her life on her blog and gets hurt when people don't love her back. It's hard not to love her back, so those meanies have got to be on crack.

2. Maggie at Flux Capacitor. Her writing will pull you in. You can't help but feel her emotions. She has had some tough times and is very inspiring.

3. The Peach Tart. I think I give this girl an award every time but I freakin' LOVE her.

4. Speaking from the Crib is one of my new blogs I love. She cracks me up and she always has a post up her sleeve. Damn her being all blog responsible.

5. Aurora at Green is the New Black. She makes these reusable bags that are adorable, works with my hubby and her comments leave me wiping tears from laughter.




K, that is all I have time for now.

Peace, love and nice people,

me.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Cats versus Sawyer

So you know that house that we love and are under contract with and HAVE been under contract with since AUGUST?! The one with the deer walking across our driveway, views to die for, plenty of land to play on, a house with 6 bedrooms?! SIX! It. Is. HUGE! And we love it?! Did I mention we LOVE it?

Umm, Geoff met the neighbor last weekend...



But we ain't afraid of no cats.

Lets get something straight, I've never been against the baby leash. I know some people think they are degrading, a little animal like, but not me. Oh no, I've just thought I would make them a little BETTER, you know, adapt it to our lifestyle.



Oh, and mountain lion proof, I just have to make sure the kid never trips... EVER. In that yard. Or any of the bedrooms. Cause there also isn't a hospital for miles and miles.

Friday, December 11, 2009

16 Weeks!

In one sentence: I'm a nut job.

I am. I'm just psychotic when I'm pregnant. I know that I get crazy with child, and was fully aware I would morph into a monster, it's just incredible that my husband had to deal with me before and willingly did this to me again. I feel so bad for him but I think he remembers how I am pregnant. I'm not that smily, shiny little pregnant lady with her pregnant glow looking all cute. I'm the girl you back away from, like you SEE the evil in her eyes like an angry wild animal and you BACK AWAY SLOWLY before she mauls you alive. No joke, that is me. See, I'm so overdue for a post and I started many but something would come up, I get distracted and by the time I go back my attitude has done a 180 and the bipolar post doesn't really work out or make sense and I delete and go on with my day looking for innocent people to step into my cage.

I need one of those things that go over a dogs mouth so it doesn't bite, only for me, it will prevent me from speaking. Do they sell that at Motherhood?

One example and I'll move on, promise. So, I'm not a self conscious person, I don't get jealous but lately I have been, my stomach is getting bigger, I never wear makeup, my hair is always in a messy up do, I lounge in comfy pants and I'm not cute right now. There is this stupid pub that opened near us and the girls were these outfits so slutty they make Hooters look like a Mormon church and my husband met the boys there for drinks the other day. He knows I'm not a big fan of the place, I heard their food sucked, okay they have like a million beers on tap but screw the beer, SCREW THE BEER, right? Anyway, lately I've felt like he was keeping a secret, being kind of weird and I didn't like it. I thought it could be a good secret but then let my hormones get the best of me and now Tiger Woods is a man slut, and Geoff went to this pub and WHAT IS THE SECRET and WHY ARE WE THE COUPLE THAT KEEPS SECRETS?! I just imagined our life going down the drain and it made me cry, it make me mad, it made me fangs out FURIOUS so after a nice little dinner last night, I freaked out on him and asked why he was keeping secrets and he is being all sneaky and I don't like it, and -SOB- I DON'T want to sit on the bed with you when I'm pissed SECRET KEEPER!

Turns out he was, and it was a good one and he was just trying to surprise me for Christmas and now I ruined it.

Then I felt really bad and just cried for a good thirty minutes. Non stop tears. I tried to play some of them off as something being in my eye but that excuse didn't work. So, GO me, the evil pregnant wife that ruins Christmas for MYSELF. Ugh.

On a non evil note, I feel great! I haven't had a headache in like a week, I got to hear the heartbeat at my appointment, the doctor keeps telling me how much she loves me cause I'm super healthy and this pregnancy is gong to be so easy (She better not of jinxed it!), and I FEEL KICKS!

Woo-hoo movement! My favorite part of it all.

We have our scan booked. Sawyer looks at my tummy, signs 'baby' and gives my tummy a kiss. Does it get any cuter?

Geoff said not to worry if I don't feel movement all the time, "You're only, what, 8 or 9 weeks?" Umm, baby, make that 16, in a few weeks, we'll be at the half way point. He looked shocked an maybe a little scared after that like my water was about to break on his new shoes.

Again, it's going fast, I forget I'm pregnant most of the time and still want a margarita. My doctor said I can have a sip. A sip? What is the point, I need a fishbowl.

So, I'm good, as long as I keep tormenting the innocent to make myself feel better because that is the kind of mature person I am.

Onto the tummy!!!!






Told you my outfits these days are just fabulous.

Peace, love and baby rhinos,

Me

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Denver: Get your act together!

True Story:

A few years back my brother went to visit his friend. He waved to the neighbor as he was walking to his friend's house. Friends of that neighbor saw some guy, my brother, wave to their girl and beat my brother up. I believe it was two against him and my brother isn't a big guy. They beat him so badly, they thought he was dead and threw him into bushes to die. My brother woke, had to of been in shock and proceeded to the friends house. When his friends girlfriend opened the door and saw the bloody mess standing before her asking for his buddy, she threw up. He was rushed to the hospital to have a tracheotomy so he could breath correctly and days later, facial reconstruction surgery to piece his face back together. He was lucky to survive.


Denver:


We live downtown, wee live blocks away from all major league sports events. We live a block away from a famous outdoor walking mall. From our balcony half a block away, we can see the hotel that the President of America stays while in Denver. Extremely fine dining, preppy little wine bars, and expensive little boutiques ARE our neighborhood. Horse drawn carriages pass our building front nightly to whisk away couples to a romantic night under the overhead twinkling lights but under the same twinkling lights darkness and bitter hate lurks.






I don't like hate.

Downtown Denver has been victim to numerous muggings recently. It's reported that most are racially motivated against whites and hispanics and the victim is picked at random. Most victims attacked have been white or hispanic men walking alone. One of the men arrested says in Denver Post (here and here), they wanted to send a message "to let people know, not to come downtown without their friends for protection."

So, your group is going to beat up on some innocent guy, I don't care what the hell your race or his race is, so you can send a message?! That's bull. These tough guys make me laugh. Can't get by in life without their crew. Who is really the weak one there huh? Their "crew" could care less about the individuals within that group, and would throw a person under a bus in a heartbeat. They do what other people say, they are followers, following loser scum bags and beating people until permanent facial damage is done.

Is it backwards that I feel more comfortable running an errand ALONE at night rather than sending Geoff?

This makes me laugh, "An affidavit released Friday by prosecutors said Kendall Austin told police his gang, the Black Gangster Disciples, and another gang known as the Rolling '60s Crips believe they 'own' the 1400 block of 19th Street."

My message to them:

Own? Really, OWN?! Where is your real estate? Show me the papers? You don't own crap, and your in MY hood now. We do OWN and legally. We don't NEED our friends for protection, we don't NEED a crew, we don't NEED to beat people up to prove ourselves. The weak are the ones who need. But if caught in the craziness of your quest to seem tough, on OUR quest to go to dinner, don't be surprised to find who carries a permit to carry a concealed. You'll sure be 'needing' then.


As cute as this place is, I don't get hate and I don't like when it effects people it shouldn't. I don't get people hurting other innocent people and an incident happened way too close to me to make this all too real. It amazes me that the person getting beat to death might be the doctor that saves this scum bags life two years later. It all makes me sick. Stay safe, watch out for yourself no matter who you are and spread good, it's freakin' CHRISTMAS for crying out loud!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Just when I start to get Cranky

Okay, I know I shouldn't start a post with "okay" but too bad (Cause rules suck, right?). I was all cranky and getting annoyed and feeling impatient, I mean, check out what I started to write on the poor internet that has to gobble up my words no matter what it thinks...

I'm over it. I'm getting really over it. I've been having headaches, you know the ones that feel like your brain is being dragged behind a truck on a road that really needs to be repaved? Yeah, those and the doctors are like, you can have tylenol and I'm like, no thanks, that doesn't even do anything. So whatev.

I'm also soooo over this short sale stuff. Why the Hell can't a bank get their act together when they expect the world from us. I mean, can you imagine telling a bank, you'll get to them when you feel like it?!

Oh, and don't even get me started on Microsoft Word. No offense PC users, but I could NEVER go back.


And then I logged onto facebook because I'm easily distracted and was reading some status updates and wasting time and trying not to be annoyed and negative because, really, things could be worse than being annoyed at a non Mac computer then, THEN my friends, I read that my friend Janet was going to try and cut out dairy.

Cut. Out Dairy.

Those three words are like Christmas to me. A really fun, non debt ridden, fancy lights, family and friend filled, lobster for dinner kind of Christmas. You know, one I hope to have in my lifetime but don't REALLY need as long as people keep realizing how disgusting dairy is and that they shouldn't be putting their bodies through the evils of it and tell me THEY ARE CUTTING OUT DAIRY!

Ring the bells, sound the alarms (the fun ones), start the parade because EVERY single person that decides to research and realize how sucky a cows breast milk is for the human body, turns my frown upside down.

Diary sucks, dairy sucks, YAY! YAY! YAY!

P.S. I said "turn my frown upside down". I'm so lame.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Stocking Update

Sewing is stupid.

Sewing is a stupid liar and I hate it. I'm going to trip it when I see it on the playground and spread rumors and tell all the boys that it wears a retainer at night. I mean, how dorky of it right?! (P.S. Don't tell the boys I wore one too.)

Take THAT sewing.

Yeah, that's right, your not invited to my parties, EVER.

I can throw a good party.

Take THAT again sewing.

It's been, lets count, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and MONDAY. So, one, two, three (Are you with me, it's a lot of numbers?), four, FIVE. FIVE days and the thread is still NOT through the needle.

Well, I thought I got it though because it doesn't really tell you HOW to thread a needle, the directions just tell you to thread the needle. OH and speaking of directions, they go something like this...

"1- Embroider, sequin and personalize piece one then attach to piece two."

I ask, HOW DO YOU EMBROIDER? What does that even mean? You can't just tell me to do it, you have to explain, I need pictures, I need an assistant, CAN YOU SEND ME AN ASSISTANT?!?!

Okay, back to the needle. So, I'm trying to pull this fat thread that has way too many strings through this non-exsitant hole and when I say non-exsitant, I'm NOT exaggerating! Okay, maybe I am because there IS a hole, you just can't see it unless you have laser eye sight and a bright light. So, I only get a few strands of the thread through and just try to pull the rest through which unwinds the thread and ruins it, then I'm all DUH, I don't NEED the WHOLE thread through, I just need a little bit and I'll tie a knot right on the end of the needle and be done. So I do it, not really thinking straight and tie a knot where the thread meets the needle hole (Is there a technical name for needle hole?) and realize, how the hell do I get that though the sequins, or felt or ANYTHING?! So I remembered once when I saw the costume designer at Club Med "thread a needle" and she put the thread though then pulled it half way through and tied a knot WAY far away from the needle, you know, like doubling up? So I realized that I DO need to get the WHOLE thread through the needle and cut off my knot leaving me WAY less thread and I don't think the stocking kit realized how much thread I was going to be cutting away in mistakes before I even STARTED. I'm getting all pissy and thought, be calm, collect yourself, you aren't FIVE. I tried to think of this process like yoga: relaxing, but the longer I tried to thread that damn needle, the more annoyed I became. Let me tell you, I gave that thing to Geoff to do. He said it may be possible with some tweezers.

Tweezers?

Here it is Monday night. I'm low on red thread and even lower on patience.

Did I mention how much I hate sewing?

The World we Live In

Target has Mens XBox Call of Duty pajama bottoms.

In the MENS department.

In MENS sizes.

I'm predicting a downward spiral from here on out.

(I also told Santa about them. Shhhh...)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

High E

I always said if I could get plastic surgery on one thing, it would be my vocal cords, so I could sing.

I also say my singing is a little too ahead of the time for people to appreciate NOW. It's okay, I'll be off the charts 500 years after death.

At a cookie party in college, my not so shy friend and I busted out 'Where are you Christmas?' from 'The Grinch who Stole Christmas' soundtrack. We were so bad, it was good (in a bad, screeching sort of way) and named ourselves, our voices, our talent: High E.

Years later, I'm still not voice shy, though I should be and at over one year, my son even knows this.

I guess he is just one and half so has not yet LEARNED how amazing my voice truly is.

Yesterday we were all dancing to Mamma Mia, and just like I would anywhere else, I was envisioning myself IN the musical and started singing.

Sawyer went from dancing with hands free, to hands over his ears doing whatever he could to block out my incredible voice to his impressionable, innocent ears.

And I swear, if any of you taught him that, High E will take over your ipod.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Decoration Inspiration

This just became a house decoration inspiration.



I love you Anthropologie.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Bucilla Christmas Stocking

I decided to title this post so matter of fact purely for the search engines and no, not for extra traffic. You know how I wanted to make Sawyer a stocking and was going to be all Craft Whore and thought about my fancy stocking that someone made me with lots of love? After some searching, I'm pretty sure my stocking came from a kit, a Bucilla Stocking Kit to be exact. The felt, the sequins, the designs, it's right on with my childhood stocking. After a tiny bit of searching, I decided to go with my gut and bought this one...


Image here

After some more searching, I found cuter, more elaborate stockings I liked better then realized, they were MORE ELABORATE and decided my gut might of chosen correctly.

Then I started to freak.

Does it come with needle and thread? How do you even SEW on a sequin? Iron on felt? You can even IRON felt?

So I started searching for reviews and tips and the only thing I really found was all these people LOVE these kits, and "though on my 40th stocking, I can't get enough, do give yourself enough time, start in the summer...". Ummm, did this person say 'start in the summer' and it's her '40th stocking'?! HUH?! I found no one freaking out, no beginner jumping into a shark tank. No one I could relate with.

I think I'm in a shark tank but the sharks are sequins and stitching and I'm going to have to swim for my life.

Back to the bland title. If anyone out there decided on a whim they were going to prove their love through a homemade stocking and is now flipping out... You. Aren't. Alone.

I'm terrified.

Let the journey begin.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Money Box

I know I complained about Geoff purchasing some war game for the stupid X Box.

That was until he informed me that he moved our stock to the company that makes the war games.

Dear Everyone: Go out and buy Call of Duty games. I guess I changed my mind, the games aren't dumb, not dumb at all, or a pointless time waster. No, nothing like that.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to find some stocks that focus purely on male obesity because apparently when you sit down to play, you can't get back up... ever.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

12 Weeks!

Two weeks since my last prego update. Geeze, I know I talk about how fast time is flying, but wasn't I just ten weeks yesterday?! I love that this is going by fast, the last pregnancy inched ever so slowly, soooooooooo slowlllllly.

Food just doesn't sound good. I'm surrounded by every restaurant possible and nothing sounds good. It's noon, I just taught a kick butt hour long fitness class, basically I'm starving and have no desire to eat. BUT, I'm not barfing up anything and THAT is nice, I also haven't had a headache in about a week and THAT is nice as well. Things are nice!

The un-nice thing however is probably me. It's amazing how incredibly powerful hormones are, they take over your body like an alien invasion and there is nothing you can do. I'm pretty verbal, I tell people how I feel, I'm don't beat around the bush but PREGNANT and hormonal and CRAZY, I really let people know what I'm thinking. I'm going to count my friends and then count them after this little one is born and see how many I lost. Anyone want to start a poll?

Onto the belly pics avec shirt.



I swear the thing keeps getting smaller. Are you okay in there rhino???

Love you guys! Please stay my friend through my hormonal peaks!!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Excuse me while I complain...

Geoff just bought Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, or something or rather.

It's the only thing we fight about, the damn XBox.

It even came with night vision goggles.

I need a drink.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Craft Whore in Progress

In my effort to be the worlds greatest Craft Whore, I went to Michaels in search for ingredients to make a stocking. I have been to this store a few times, once I walked out nervous knowing I was WAY over my head. Next time I sat in the isle reading a book repeating 'I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.' and the last time, I went back for more paper. Eventually I was left with homemade invitations for Sawyer's birthday party that looked... like, uh, I made them?

So, I went back cause I'm street like that and I can handle my own AND left in fear yet again. How does this store do it, it's so damn intimidating?! There are all these ladies in there that walk around with mini carts full of things I've never head of or seen and they have vision. THEY HAVE VISION. The see stuff. I think it's almost like psychic math, something plus this plus sparkles plus other things will equal A NEW CAR! I mean, how do they do it? HOW DO YOU DO IT?!?! I want to be crafty! I want to have a talent, maybe even have other people purchase my services, I want to be a craft whore too!

I'm just not. How hard is it to make a stocking? When I was little, I had the cutest stocking, it had my name on it, and all sorts of sequins, and it had a pocket with a removable Santa and all sorts of other Christmasy things. See, my brother didn't have a stocking like that, he had a, dare I say it, STORE BOUGHT ONE! I knew that because mine was homemade and his was store bought that my parents liked me better. It's just truth. I speak truth. My family is not incredibly talented, no one is craft whorish so this stocking had to be easy right?!?!

I saw no easy stocking recipe in sight. I figured they would have kits, you know like they have cookie dough in a tube if you suck at baking, why don't that have you suck at crafting, craft kits for people like me?!?! I want to fake it!!! After not seeing any kits and realizing that I didn't even own a needle and thread that I was indeed in the wrong place. People looked at me but no one asked if I needed help. I mean, even the people in J Crew ask if you need help and you don't really need help but there I was, lost and scared and alone and NO ONE OFFERED HELP!!!!

I walked out deflated, yet again. Michaels, you win but I'll be back, I'm a sore loser and I'll fight dirty.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

New Trick

This week Sawyer learned how to sign 'blanket' and 'car' and finished up his tricks by getting up on the couch all by himself. Can you tell it's the little things that will make a mommy proud? Also notice how he doesn't take simple directions like saying bye to daddy when making him a video. Oh well, next time kid.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

This is why I now dress my child dorky.

Pregnancy makes me nuts and all I want is a margarita WITH SALT as large as your head. And, if your head isn't a big one, I'll pass it up and have one as large as your friend's head.

Moving on.

I bought Sawyer a pair of super cool Puma's from Nordstrom ON SALE (Cause I'm cheap.) and couldn't wait for Sawyer to grow into them.

He grew into them.

Figured out how to use his diaper pail.

The shoes go missing.

After a week of searching and a day of deep cleaning, I'm sure those shoes (along with almost ALL of his socks and several toys) were thrown out with the diapers.

He wore them, I think, TWICE.

I told him I'm never buying him another pair of shoes again, like he understood or cared.

Last seen with those shoes:



RIP

Friday, November 6, 2009

Things that are going on.

I didn't actually TELL you guys because I thought once I said it, I wouldn't be able to do it, totally go blank, but turns out I still failed.

Last year, the thing that kicked off this blog was National Blog Posting Month, NaBlPoMo or something like that. Aren't the initials a little too long to be helpful? Anyway, you are suppose to blog EVERY DAY! Seriously, every day for a month. I got like three in a row and was so proud, I wanted to take my OWN temperature, you know, just to make sure I was still okay.

And I failed because there is no post yesterday. I MEANT to post, I even had stuff to say, but the day just flew by, just like the last few months have. I mean, did you guys know it's November? It's not August, or September and I'm pretty sure October got skipped but it's NOVEMBER!!! I can't believe it! Yeah, so, a day got by me, oops.

Since I've been asked, here is the deal with the house...

I have NO clue what real estate language means! Until yesterday, we have not heard back from anyone. All this waiting is driving Geoff nuts but somehow along with all the crazy I've become, I've also become patient. It's like patience is my new super power. I'm all super power patient... with EVERYTHING!!! I'm also not all obsessive about things (Weird huh, Aurora?!?!) and fell back in love with our little condo. I was checked out long ago, got annoyed at it often and was sure the hormones, once I became pregnant, would make it worse. But it didn't. I'm happy here and am going to miss it when it's gone but the key word, is it eventually needs to be GONE. We have to sell and until we do, there isn't a house for us. So, all this waiting was good, no sold condo equals no bought house and I was fine, patient.

BUT yesterday we got a few emails in some other language that wasn't offered in my high school foreign language selection and now I have NO idea what is going on.

Story: My step grandpa is super smart, creative, funny; he INVENTS things! I thought this was soooo cool when I was younger. One day on the drive back from his place my friend and I asked my step mom how growing up with him was. It had to be awesome, right? Your dad just builds and invents cool toys and games and plays with you all the time. It's like a dream! I'll never forget her story. She said it had its drawbacks. For Halloween one year, she wanted to go to some party, dress as some thing BOUGHT from a store. It was cool back then, you know, to BUY your costume. Purchasing wasn't going to do it though and her dad had it covered. She came home one day to the most bizarre outfit sitting on her bed: pants with one leg cut off, crazy shirt that wasn't a long sleeve or a short sleeve, different socks, etc. After finding out that THIS was indeed her 'new costume', she asked what the heck she was suppose to be. The answer? A Confuse-A-Cat. You walk down the street and confuse all the cats. A Confuse-A-Cat. She was mortified.

I feel like that is exactly what real estate language is. A big Confuse-A-Cat. We get this email that says the file has been closed but a closed file can always be reopened and the new negotiator is unwilling to negotiate the price further. Well, we didn't ask to negotiate the price any further and why is the file closed if you keep extended the foreclosure date? The agent also said something about finding their bottom price and junk. I don't get it. Say what you mean. If the bank doesn't want to negotiate any more from OUR price, than accept our price! If they don't want to negotiate from the asking price, then don't accept our price and we'll OFFER you the ASKING price. But MAKE A MOVE! We are not far off from the asking price as it is, basically if the bank wasn't so dang wishy-washy, they would of made that difference in mortgage payments by now. I think the whole letter meant, we are going to say a bunch of stuff to confuse you because we actually haven't done a damn thing including winterize! I would of been so much happier and less confused if the email I got back simply said, "Confuse-A-Cat." Cool, I get it, thanks, makes TOTAL sense, I'll keep waiting!

I'm shutting up now, I have to make sure I have more to say tomorrow, you know for National Blog like a Lunatic Month.


Peace, love and confusing outfits,


me.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A Nursery Rhyme

I was reading a book of nursery rhymes to Sawyer and felt the need to stop in the middle of this one.


The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat:
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five-pound note.

The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy, you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!"



Ummm, do any of us remember being rocked to sleep to this? Is this a classic? Just wondering.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A Christmas Sock

You guys know I'm lame right? And not a perfectionist? Am a bit mediocre?

So, did you guys see Sawyer's costume?

Yeah, I posted pics... of him in his costume, his Halloween costume... which consisted of a shirt, jeans and an old little cap. Yup, I said cap. Happy Halloween, lazy mommy doesn't have a costume for you.

In my defense, I've been tired, incredibly tired, too tired to fight the crowds for a halloween costume and then when I actually TRIED to find one on the morning of October 31st, nothing was left but fairy princess costumes.

Then I thought, as much as I want my maybe future little girl to be in tutus as much as possible, maybe I won't dress her as a fairy or princess or combination of the two, because DAMN, can there be any more fairy princess costumes in this world? Maybe I was bitter because they had nothing for my manly, handsome, manly (Did I say manly?), NOT FAIRY PRINCESS, little man?

I look at the last pictures and hold my head in shame. Maybe I'm going overboard, but get this, I DECIDED to make Sawyer his very first Stocking. (Yeah, I know LAST year was his first Christmas but he didn't have a stocking, are you at all surprised?!) So, I'm going to be all mom like and festive, and artsy and dear God, wish me luck...

Monday, November 2, 2009

Dear Sawyer: Almost a year and a half!

I've written a lot about the baby growing inside me, the baby that will be your little brother or sister, but I wanted to let you know that you aren't chop liver, you just don't make me feel sick and when someone is making you feel sick, you tend to talk about that a little more.

But lets talk about you, amazing, fun little YOU!



WOW, are you fun and SMART! You are the most funnest thing ever, on the planet, in the whole history of the world, I just love all your fun! You always want to play, demand attention every minute, every minute needs to be play time. I wish that I had the same mentality. Why do adults lose all the fun? Every new minute is a new opportunity to discover something, play with it, know it inside and out and laugh really hard. It doesn't take much to have a blast with you. I stick out finger, you grab on and lead the way. You lead me to your magical fun world and I'm amazed that you get all this entertainment out of our small condo. Running and slipping on the wood floor in our socks pretending that we are skiing, jumping up and down to the music daddy is playing, throwing all your books on the floor just to hear them thud, playing ball, building lego towers, playing hide and seek, you are never one without ideas. As long as we are there for the ride, up for your games, you couldn't be happier!



Smart, you are sooo smart. One of the trainers in the gym I work at calls you the smartest baby in America, another guy we saw at dinner a while back sat there, mouth open wide as you signed away to me, everywhere we go, people seem to be impressed by you. You are picking up signing almost faster than I can keep up. The other week, you learned 'cookie', and I've never had to say no to you so often in the span of one day. You can put your signs together and almost sign sentences, 'cookie' 'please'. And when I don't give it to you, I see, 'MOM!' 'cookie' 'more' 'please' 'PLEASE!' 'more' 'cookie' 'mom'. And when I still don't give it to you, you blow me kisses, try to butter me up. I love you, but only so many 'cookies' in a day, okay! You also just learned 'baby' and it's the cutest damn thing!

The little things you do amaze me. Like today, I was looking at the way you wave. You used to wave, full hand flapping up and down, but now your hand stays still as your four little fingers move up and down, waving hi. It's the cutest thing, you can tell you think about it, want to wave like me and daddy and you do. Even the little things like your wave just blow me away.

You're a mamas boy. Holy crap are you a mamas boy. This mama boy thing keeps getting more and more intense. Last night, I was in your room, hanging shirts. You can't see me from the hall when I'm in front of your closet. You ran around the house, and at lap two, started crying, lap three cries turned into the saddest sobs. I had to walk out and hug you. Your cries stopped instantly but wanted a long cuddle, knowing that I was there, didn't leave without saying goodbye. It broke my heart. I just LOVE you and I promise to never leave without a kiss, never.

It's got to be the hormones, but reading news stories of missing children just make me cry. I can't help but lash out in full maternal mode. I never ever want to leave you alone, even when your 20, I always want you to be safe and the thought of someone ever trying to hurt you makes my blood boil. When something goes wrong, either flight or fight kicks in. I don't think I have a flight, I'm assuming I'm all fight. I have to push these thoughts out of my head, I have to hope that you have a healthy, happy, generally easy life because if someone messes with that, they will face my wrath, and if my imaginary wrath is frightening, even to myself, I can't imagine what my full blown fighting wrath will be. I would do anything in this world to protect you. I'm still amazed that I can love anything as much as I love you, it's the never ending reserve that keeps doubling in depth every time I blink. Life with you is the coolest, most amazing thing and I hope you never, ever forget that. Like I tell daddy, if you ever are not feeling loved, I'm doing something seriously wrong, I hope you always feel my love!!!

Forever and ever,

Your mommy!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Bump and Grind

I have had some serious headaches lately, headaches that turn into migraines that turn into a night cuddling the toilet bowl and let me tell you, in no way does it compare to Geoff! I had a few headaches with Sawyer but so far these are worse. Would I rather have the headaches or the constant nausea? I think headaches. If I actually had the energy to record and post what is going on at my house, right this minute, maybe those headaches would be explained. Let me give you a glimpse: Sawyer yelping in glee running on hardwood floor pushing one of those old fashion wood 'popper' toys. Know what I'm talking about? Now, you read the hardwood floor part right? No? I can't hear you, IT'S TOO DAMN LOUD!

But I'm at week TEN, yay, week TEN! Tuesday I went into the doctor and right away saw that I gained almost four pounds -pause- in FOUR WEEKS!!! My last doctor would of been all, 'You know you should gain TOPS 30 pounds and each unnecessary pound is REALLY hard to take off after birth and so many people NEVER GET RID OF IT!!!' This doctor was like, 'Okay, whatever.' and with all my might I tried not to hug her. All my tests came back perfect and when she didn't hear the heartbeat with the doppler, I got an extra mini ultrasound (At my request of course, I'm happy until I see the bill), and saw a moving, twitching thing wrapped in what looked like pillow fluff. So, rhino has a heartbeat still and that makes me happy. After all that, I got the H1N1 vaccine. OMG, vaccines, the vaccine debate, AHHHHH!!!!! Yup, I got it. After reading that out of 100 pregnant woman hospitalized with H1N1, 30 DIE, I was like give it to me! So there it is, if rhino has four heads it's because, OMG, I got the H1N1 Vac.

Moving on, my bump got a lot smaller, it might be that four pounds I added around the sides making it LOOK smaller. Yeah, that's a reason to gain weight, right? No, really, RIGHT?!?!




Peace, love and NO caffeine, NO raw fish, NO medicine, NO cold cuts, NO alcohol, and lots of other NO things,


Me and baby R

Monday, October 26, 2009

Dairy Sucks Part 2. Yay, lets all drink cancer!

Okay, okay, milk sucks. Did you know this? NO? What, you were told that it was good and supplies your bones calcium and is vital to your diet? Can I ask WHO told you this? Did you ever ask yourself? No, you were just following the leader. Wow, very brave of you.

You've been lied to, you've been a sucker to the diary industry, a FOR PROFIT industry PROFITING from your blind obedience. Congrats.

Yeah, it's crap. Dairy is crap. Dairy is NOT vital to your diet, it's HORRIBLE for you, promotes disease, weight gain, and more including the growth of cancer. Hear that? CANCER! It helps cancer GROW and you still put it on your burgers, pour it in your cereal, melt it on your pizza. Is it worth it?

If you haven't read my first blog regarding dairy and have a few minutes, go here. To sum it up, I was outraged the doctors were telling me I needed to supplement Sawyer's 100% breastfed diet for man made, chemical loaded formula, formulated from NASTY, puss filled cows milk. I refused. (Yes people, you have a choice in your child's diet, the doctors don't own you.) It was a post/rant informing you some of the diary evils including the puss count you are drinking, the hormones the cows ingest to produce that milk, the calcium that is not going to your bones and more. I will most likely repeat some information here so deal with it, you probably need to hear it again anyway.

I'm pretty passionate about dairy and am not shy to share my views. When I was young I got migraines sometimes several times a week where I would be throwing up. I would have to lay in my room, all lights off, no one talking, and sit in pain. I didn't understand what was wrong with me and wanted someone to open my head and fix what was not working like it should. Little did I know, after too many visits to the doctors, I would be diagnosed as allergic to dairy. I cried. I cried long and hard and didn't want to give up all the meals I knew and loved. My family had me stop dairy and the headaches went away. Later I added dairy back into my diet only to remove it once I got to college, where I started my health obsession. I met someone who was anti-dairy who gave me a book regarding general health. One chapter focused on the diary industry and after several pages I was hooked. I threw myself into all sorts of books, read all the research papers I could and wrote many papers myself for different classes. The thing that moved me most to educate the people around me regarding dairy is this; most people can generally agree that refined sugar is not good for us. We see a cookie and know it won't be the best thing for our bodies but make an educated decision on whether we want to eat it or not. Most people look at milk and think it is good for them, that they are doing their bodies good when nothing can be further from the truth. My goal is for you to look at what you eat, know what it will do to your body and THEN make and educated decision. If you choose to continue dairy, so be it, but know what you are getting yourself into.

First, remember this, WE DON'T NEED MILK unless we are babies!!!! Are you a baby? Baby! Think about it for a second, we are born, milk fills our mothers boobies and we drink from her. When we choose to be done, we are done. We shouldn't go back and 90-95% of us don't have the enzyme Lactase to digest Lactose (the sugar found in dairy) to digest it anyway!!! We are almost ALL lactose intolerant and can show it in many different ways. You are forcing toxins onto your system, and onto your childrens' system. What is worse, we force ourselves and our loved ones to drink the milk from some other animal and you all freak out when a mom breastfeeds a baby that isn't her own?! Not that I can do it, but it's more natural than downing a glass of cows milk!!! When a kitten is born, its mom's numerous boobies fill with milk and the kittens drink. When they are done, they are done. Milk supplies vital nutrients for your offspring and when your offspring is done with milk, their body is done as well. Do you feed cat milk to you puppy, monkey milk to your rabbit? The entire animal kingdom does not go back to milk after weaned, just us, humans, perhaps the dumbest animal of all. Not only do we go back to milk, we decided to go to a cow for our milk supply only because people TOLD US TO, an industry that is trying to make money told you to do so, and did you listen? You are a sucker!!!! If you want to continue milk, at least go back to your mom, the human milk, the milk that was FORMULATED for our bodies, the milk protein that DOES not cause harm to our systems, go for it, suck away kids.

The reality is, our bodies want nothing to do with diary.

Having fun yet? Listen to what you are pouring into your body:

Following more than 75,000 women over the course of twelve years, The Harvard Nurses' Study showed that milk was NOT shown to have a protective effect on bones, the study revealed that dairy products were associated with an increased risk of fractures.

According to The journal of Gerontology, American women over fifty have among the highest rates of hip fractures in the world. The only countries with higher rates are those that consume more milk.

Milk does not do your bones good. In fact, it's quite opposite. The large role calcium plays in your body after the age of maturity is to take your body from an acidic level and make it neutral so food can pass through your digestive tract. Dairy is soooo acidic, it actually takes calcium FROM your bones to digest dairy. Isn't that nice?

Want to know what else an acidic environment causes? Cancer!!! Oh joy! A Harvard study found that when women with low enzyme levels consumed dairy on a regular basis, their risk of ovarian cancer was up to THREE TIMES GREATER!

Heard of The China Study by Dr. T. Colin Campbell? One of the most comprehensive studies of diet and nutrition ever in history, spanning twenty years time, citing from more than 750 references and partnering with Cornell University, Oxford University and the Chinese Academy of Preventative Medicine? Dr. Campbell's published study says diary can cause "heart disease, diabetes, asthma, obesity, osteoporosis, kidney stones, cataracts, macular degeneration, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer's, and breast, prostate, colon and rectal cancer." During his extensive research, he found that protein had a huge effect on cancer, "What protein consistent and stongly promoted cancer? Casein, which makes up 87% of cows' milk protein, promoted all stages of the cancer process." COWS MILK PROMOTES CANCER!!! Are you reading that? Read it again! Want more? "Casein, a milk protein, promoted all three stages of cancer, initiation, promotion and progression."

Heard of Johne's disease? The disease farmers talk secretly about, the disease that the USDA says up to 40% of dairy herds were effected and that was most likely an understatement? Yeah, "Health experts correlate the high rate of Johne's disease in cattle with the growing epidemic of Crohn's disease in humans. " This is my favorite (Freedman and Barnouin, Skinny Bitch), "How is it (Crohn's from Johne's) transmitted? People suffering from Chrohn's disease suffer from uncontrollable diarrhea. And apparently, cows with Johne's disease suffer the same affliction. The diarrhea can come shooting out of the cow in liquid form. And because her butt is so close to her udders, poo gets on her udders. And unless someone takes the time to wash and clean the udders of every cow before milking, the infected fecal matter makes its way into the milk. Bonus: Within that poo, there can be as many as one trillion paratuberculosis bugs per gram. Surprise, surprise, the good ol' U.S. of A. has the highest incidence of Crohn's disease."

Vitamin D? PCRM "Samplings of mik have found a significant variation of vitamin D content, with some samplings having as much as 500 times the indicated level while others had little or none at all." Did you know that too much is toxic and really, what is the point of none?

The point of this post? The dairy industry is here to make money, so is Burger King, so is Crisco, but does that mean we take their commercials as truth? I was told my whole life that dairy is good for me, good for my bones, got milk??? AND, I was lied to, we all were and continue to be lied to. Don't take my word for it, research it yourself, but wise up, take charge of your body and make educated decisions. We are in no way benefitting from dairy and cause a lot more harm than we know. If you want to drink puss filled (see part one for that), poop particle, disease and cancer causing liquid, go for it, but don't say I didn't warn you.

P.S. I'm only telling you this because I love you!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Baby Rhino Update

I feel like I suck at things lately.

There are bits of food on the floor that won't come off with a swipe of the broom because they have been there too long. I'm just too tired to sweep every five minutes and when you have a one year old, you must sweep every five minutes.

I freaked out and planned an emergency coffee break in lieu of our Moms Club Meeting because the meeting was the next day and I didn't even realize it... then someone wrote me saying that the meeting was actually next week. I was looking at the wrong month.

I've been too tired to do anything but day dream about naps and food and sometimes when I am actually ABLE to get a nap in, I'm too busy thinking about food. Once it was so bad, I almost got up to check the cost of flights to the nearest Trader Joe's. Hear that, we don't have a Trader Joe's and it's ruining my life. I'm a little too off my rocker to realize that booking a flight just to go to a grocery store is a little nuts and only stop myself because we are saving money for a house.

Speaking of 'house', there is still no news. I thought pregnancy hormones were going to make me nuts and completely impatient and while they may have made me nuts, on the flip side I am incredibly patient (unless it comes to sleep or food) and can totally play the waiting game for this house. I think it also has something to do with me not feeling so hot now (I know, point, laugh, say you told me so.) yes, I've thrown up, but that hasn't been too bad, it's these headaches that don't go away for days, DAYS! I'm jJust not in a clean house, decorate house, pack house sort of state (Or proof read state I guess. Did you see that jJust?!) . So, I'll wait until the next crazy hormones kick in, those 'nesting' ones.

I'm fat. Remember those headaches I was talking about? They hampered everything and I realized the only way to keep them at bay is to eat before I start to get even 1/4 hungry. Basically I eat every hour. It's pathetic and my fat pants are already fitting me snugly. Hi weight gain, my name is Holly, I think we are going to be close friends...

I'm not complaining. I'm extremely happy and feel extremely thankful... and pretty scared. I have had several friends go through miscarriages lately that have not told anyone else. I think more moms lose a baby than we realize and it makes me feel that I have a high chance of losing this one. It scares me. I cry each time I hear these stories, I'm sooo incredibly sad for these mommies. I can't imagine the pain and there is no right thing to say. So, I'm incredibly thankful to be able to feel the pregnancy headaches, the thighs rub together, the crumbs on the hardwood floor and the desire to book flights for a shopping trip, I'm thankful. Thank you Rhino, stay in there!!!

A Different Type of Turkey!

A while back, i went out with my fellow Mile High Mamas for a Moms Night Out at the Warwick Hotel in Denver.

I'm a little behind but the Warwick was awesome, their servers were flawless and fast, the food fantastic and the wine was great. If you are Denver, you must check them out! Amber, the creator of Mile High Mamas, as usual, was a little cutie and planned a successful event... with PRIZES!

My prize?

THE (Are you ready?) TWINKIES COOKBOOK!

You didn't think that existed did you? Neither did I.

Being somewhat of a health freak, I'm not into Twinkies but my friend is... and she is having a birthday get together tonight? Can you guess what her present is? (Don't worry, she actually ASKED me for this!)

I couldn't give it up without sharing a recipe with you. Yeah, I'm kind.

In preparation for Thanksgiving, I give you:

Twinkling Turkey

1 package yellow corn muffin mix, prepared and baked according to package instructions
6 twinkies, halved lengthwise
1 (14-18lb) turkey
1 tart apple, peeled cored and diced
1/4 cup of honey


Remove the muffins from the oven and allow to cool on wire rack

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Scrape the creme filling out of the Twinkies with a small spoon and reserve in a small bowl.

Cut the twinkie pastry into cubes and spread in a single layer on a baking sheet. Bake for 8-10 minutes, until lightly toasted. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely. Decrease the oven temperature to 325.

Rinse the turkey. Crumble the muffins into a bowl, add the apple and toasted Twinkies, and mix lightly. Loosely stuff the mixture into the turkey and truss the legs. Place the turkey, breast side up, on a rack set in a roasting pan. jRoast the turkey for 12-15 minutes per pound until the thigh temperature reaches 175F to 180F and the juices run clear.

In a small bowl, combine the honey with the reserved creame filling and ix well. Brush the turkey with the honey mixture during the last 10-15 minutes of roasting time.

Remove the turkey from the oven and let stand for 20 minutes before carving.



Enjoy! Check at the Warwick, stop by Mile High Mamas and don't ever say I don't love you!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Ingrid Michaelson

If you aren't an Ingrid Michaelson fan, you either need to be or have WAY different musical taste than I do.

I found her on myspace before Geoff and I were even officially 'boyfriend, girlfriend' on like page 30 of unknown artists and fell in love with her. I sent Geoff her Rogaine song (Who I am) in hopes it would make him love me, instead he asked "Am I going bald in the back?" So, some things don't go as planned but I won the boy and I'm sooo happy she has taken off!

I saw her last night for the second time in Denver. Last year she was great but last night she blew me away. I think it had to do with her only getting two hours of sleep after flying in from New York. The girl didn't care what she said on stage and we were cracking up.

This video isn't from Denver but it's my all time favorite song right now. I think I've heard this song over a hundred times thanks to repeat and the car CD player and was SOOO happy she sang this last night...



P.S. In case you are lyricly declined like I am, it's not "and glide away on soapy hills" though you would glide nicely on soapy lathered up hills but rather "and glide away and so be healed", now go forth and love her too.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Jon and Kate Minus Show. Finally!

TLC announced they are pulling the plug on Jon and Kate.

I think I actually said "YES!" out loud.

I'll admit, I'm a Jon and Kate viewer. I haven't seen it too often lately because now that they film separately, the show is too damn boring. My favorite part was hoping Kate would be nice, and then hating her when she wasn't. I always felt bad for Jon and told my husband that I promised to NEVER treat him so horribly. I knew divorce was near. I wondered how long they could hold out lying long before people threw out the 'lying' word. I mean, they couldn't even kiss each other. Can you imagine NEVER kissing your spouse? Things were wrong. I felt bad for the kids and still do but could not turn my head from the train wreck.

Then, reports were out they were separating. I couldn't believe all the people so blind to their loveless marriage surprised they were going their separate ways. Do people think this marriage is normal, that their relationship is okay? I don't care what role an individual takes in a marriage, there is no room for disrespect. Jon and Kate began to film separately and Kate was coming on out top. Jon was acting like an idiot and Kate didn't have any more words in her vocabulary besides "for the kids". For the kids? Really?! All this is for the kids?! Though rumors, Kate's backstory is interesting. A fallout from a family that tried to support her in any way possible including offering her donated cribs from the church her dad is a part of only to have Kate deny them, I mean, they didn't match. What bastards, giving her cribs that don't match! It seemed she wanted so much, wanted to be seen as classy when her actions proved anything but. I don't care how well you answer questions, actions speak louder than words and this whole story is a lot less classy than the People of Walmart pics.

Kate claims filming the show supports her family. Did she think the show would last forever?

Dear TLC: Keep them OFF THE AIR! I don't think filming has ruined their family, I'm sure they were doomed from the beginning. No one needs to see them, their kids need some normalcy and Jon and Kate need a healthy dose of reality. A really LONG healthy dose.

I will, however, clear my schedule in five or ten years for E's True Hollywood Story...

Gosslins, see you on the flip side!

Monday, October 12, 2009

It's a National Geographic in my Uterus

Alright, when my husband and I decided to start trying, I prepared myself for some Hell. Sawyer was a pretty easy pregnancy compared to a few other friends I have, but pregnancy with him was not an event I wanted to re-live over and over. At the beginning I was sick. Looking back, I'll say I was pretty damn sick. A menu would make me vomit. I would park my car in a parking lot knowing that if I needed to run behind it and throw up, there weren't going to be too many people to witness. I would find the restroom first no matter where I was at because soon I would be running towards it with contents of my stomach escaping. I think that lasted from week six or seven to week fifteen or sixteen. Scents would send me running. I was sure that I would miss my alcoholic drink at dinner but realized even the thought of it, let alone the scent would, you guessed it, make me vomit. Throwing up is not fun.

I prepared myself for a lot of throw up.

So far, I have not thrown up, or felt the need to. Once or twice, the smell of something didn't hit my stomach right, but not a big deal compared to the days the most important thing in my purse was a stack of barf bags stolen from an aircraft. (Thanks United.)

Questions for my O.B.:

1- Was I really suppose to show this fast?!?! My friend who is prego and tall and skinny and beautiful (Don't you hate her already?) said she swears she started showing at TEN weeks! I'm short and well, short and, okay, screw descriptions, but I'm only EIGHT weeks and I look like I did at 20 weeks last time?!?!

2- If this is not normal, what is in there? A black bear? A rhino? If it is a dangerous animal, how do we get it out? Should I schedule a C-Section now? Are rhino's born with those horns on their nose?! Do you know what that can do to my vagina?!?!

3- You didn't give me much wiggle room with only a 15-20 pound weight gain. Can I ask for a higher number? Do you accept bribes? HAVE YOU SEEN MY UTERUS, I think it's been watching too much Jon and Kate plus 8!!!

4- Can you tell my uterus to chill it's grill but NOT if it's going to make me vomit.

5- Last but not least, why the hell does Sam Adams Octoberfest smell so damn good? Can you give me a prescription to fix that?! So far I'm eying people in restaurants and sniffing drinks and it's getting a little embarrassing. Sniffing drinks is okay, I just can't consume them right cause baby Rhino wants a drink!



And now onto the tummy with a mind of it's own: AKA: What the hell happened, I don't even know you anymore!!!

At almost 6 weeks. I know there is some boobage (Good thing I have mostly ladies on here, fellas, divert your eyes if you hung in this long). I was going to retake the picture a week later thinking it would look the same, and, ummm, I was mistaken. So, I guess this becomes the official 'before rhino' picture.




And at week 8:




That's what I get for thinking all the people that said they were showing at week 7 were liars.

Baby number two is NOT messing around.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Rockiin' Good Time

I want these in Sawyer's future play room.


Found here.

I think it would be funny to roll these onto our friends cars after a night of drinking. We aren't in the city anymore, haha, watch for falling rock! And then when they are done crying, I'll show them that it's fake, cause I'm nice like that.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Someone loves me!

The only awards I ever got in school were perfect attendance. It's the, you suck at everything award, but you sure do try hard! So, forgive me if I get excited but Peeling an Orange with a Screwdriver sent me this award! She said it's because she enjoys reading my blog, I think it's because she heard how bitchy I get when I'm pregnant. (That's right internet, I cursed.) Thank you, thank you, I love you back too, does the award come with some of your awesome baked goodies??? No? Damn.





I'm going to pass it along to The Peach Tart and Chelsea Talks Smack. These ladies will most likely make you urinate in your granny panties from laughing so hard while reading their blog. Don't say I didn't warn you...


Onto other news, my father in law and his wife are flying in this weekend. This is their first visit since I've been married to Geoff. Immediately I thought, WHAT THE HELL DO I COOK?! I asked Geoff who said his dad likes goulash.

Ummm?

What. Is. That?

That sounds like a dessert you serve up at some halloween party and only the drunks dig in. Slightly nervous about this ghoul something dish, I settled on Nicoise Salad. That is close enough, right?

I still feel good, really good. So good, I'm ready for a drink but the doctors frown on that. With Sawyer I was sooo sure I was going to miss drinking. In fact, when Geoff and I decided to start trying for baby two, I thought, LET ME BINGE DRINK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE just so I wont miss it. No, I didn't binge drink... okay, well not every day. Okay, I'm off track, point is, with Sawyer, the smell of anything alcoholic made me vomit. I could even smell it on Geoff after he brushed and mouth washed. I was incredibly sensitive to the smell and didn't want a drop of the adult beverage near my mouth, or nostrils. Now, NOW, I could sure go for a margarita...

Self control. Practice self control. (Just thinking out loud.)

Oh and: My stomach is already getting bigger. I complained about this to Geoff who said it was not until I lifted up my shirt. He poked my belly and said, okay, maybe it is.

Oh and: I bought my baby the beginning of his big boy bed... the headboard. He is growing up WAY too fast.

Oh and: Even though Geoff wouldn't give me cupcakes for dinner, I retaliated by eating a few handfuls of dark chocolate chips with my breakfast eggs. Don't even say that is gross.

Oh and: I still want to star in a broadway show. Do you know any that don't require a good singing voice? I've been thinking about this heavily each time I teach aerobics. I would be really amazing. Really.



Peace, love and perfect attendance,

Me.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Like, Seriously?!

Last night Geoff asked what I wanted for dinner after I told him (with puppy eyes) that it was his turn to make dinner.

I said what any other rational, college educated person would say.

Cupcakes.

He thought I was joking.

I didn't see him preheat the oven and debated telling him that no, I was not joking.

Twenty minutes later I'm served a salad with chopped apples and loads of green beans. Basically a combination of everything left in the fridge, which obviously was not very much.

Today, I cowardly ask him over the blog he never reads:

Salad greater than cupcakes?

Like seriously?!

(If you ARE reading, the salad was delicious lover lover! Wink, wink.)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Lines

I just looked in the cabinet for the fifth time like something actually changed in there. Perhaps the Whole Foods fairy went shopping and brought me all sorts of goodies while I was changing a diaper? What? There isn't a fairy that does those things?

At least I'm not throwing up.

Last night my cooking was so terrible, I nagged Geoff enough to go out and bring me back Mexican food. Geoff braved out my cooking and said dinner was "Fantastic!" He isn't a good liar. I knew my refried beans and guacamole blew that steak out of the water.

She didn't even give me a picture today. She looked around in there for at least ten minutes and saw nothing. Sawyer sat next to me as I tried to hide my fear. After what seemed like eternity, she smiled and turned up the sound. Isn't the beating heart a beautiful sound.

Geoff is super excited and I think he told everyone he has come into contact with in the last few weeks.

I guess the cat's out of the bag.

It's still early though.

I think Sawyer is going to be a great big brother.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Dear Iphone

Dear: Iphone

It is no surprise my husband has an insatiable appetite for anything Macintosh. Did you know that is one little thing that helped kick start our relationship? A love for your products? Thanks for that. Anyway, I believe his love is going to far.

This next story is 100% true.

Geoff and I were trying to find Sears Outlet in search for a decent fridge that didn't cost millions. I was the navigator. I'm not a good navigator.

Me- Okay babe, turn left. Oops, just kidding, U-turn.

Him- Is the compass on your iphone map?

Me- YES, okay, now turn right! Umm, just kidding again, U-turn. This iphone is good, it tells me when I mess up.

Him- It's not on is it?

Me- Yes!

He grabs my phone and turns the compass on.

Me- WOW, now this is REALLY EASY!!!

Him- I knew it wasn't on. You better watch out, this iphone can do a lot, I might even trade you in.

-Sound scratched record.


I get it iphone. You are really pretty.

You are for sure WAY skinnier than I am but curvy in just the right spots. Guys like that, don't they?

You can light up a room.

You know everything!

You can pull recipes out of your butt, give us all the good stock info, play any game, even the stupid ones I make fun of. You don't make fun of stupid games but play along and pretend to enjoy them. Geoff really likes that.

You are WAY smarter than me.

You never forget to remind us when we asked you to.

Speaking of reminders, you never forget a birthday.

You are pretty much perfect and now I hate you for that.

And, damn you, YOU NEVER GET LOST!

I'm not one to get jealous but you better back off my man. I will fight dirty.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Just a little random until I get my head on straight!

I stop moving for two seconds and exhaustion sets in immediately. My schedule is in no way overwhelming, just busy. Busy is fine until you throw in a toddler and I find myself napping for the first time in a long, long, VERY long time. Once again, I'm amazed by the single moms I know. Really, how do you guys do it? How do you carry on from day to day without napping in line at Whole Foods?

My pants are getting loose. I was running to the gym the other day and a pair of pants I bought during a skinny point were falling off. I had to stop and pull them up like a gangster! I'm not complaining, no, I just can't buy clothes right now.

We are in crazy save money mode. Today was the first day we bought food that did not come from a grocery store in weeks. Most days I pack my husbands lunch. We got off coffee. Every dollar counts when you are in love with real estate. Tonight was different, Geoff was napping and I was starving and without hesitating, without letting guilt set in, I ordered Thai. Now I sit here with a heavy stomach and little smirk. I still don't regret it and perhaps tomorrow my pants might stay on.

Sawyer is the most fun thing in history. He is hilarious! He cracks me up every few minutes. The other day he found the cord that plugs the iphone into the computer and thread it through the handle of one of his push toys. He then took each end of the wire (Is it called a wire?), hoisted it over his shoulder, turned around and lugged his push toy around, pulling by the wire. It was the funniest thing, I couldn't bare to take it away. He is my little comedian and I can't believe I got to have him as my son! I'm a lucky mommy!

Speaking of lucky, my husband just changed his diaper without me having to ask. Wow.

Did I also mention my hubby went back to work? Yup, it's true, my husband is employed. Many people have asked me how it's been and the only answer I have is, I MISS HIM! Who knew 8 hours was so long! I miss him more than ever.