Sewing is a stupid liar and I hate it. I'm going to trip it when I see it on the playground and spread rumors and tell all the boys that it wears a retainer at night. I mean, how dorky of it right?! (P.S. Don't tell the boys I wore one too.)
Take THAT sewing.
Yeah, that's right, your not invited to my parties, EVER.
I can throw a good party.
Take THAT again sewing.
It's been, lets count, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and MONDAY. So, one, two, three (Are you with me, it's a lot of numbers?), four, FIVE. FIVE days and the thread is still NOT through the needle.
Well, I thought I got it though because it doesn't really tell you HOW to thread a needle, the directions just tell you to thread the needle. OH and speaking of directions, they go something like this...
"1- Embroider, sequin and personalize piece one then attach to piece two."
I ask, HOW DO YOU EMBROIDER? What does that even mean? You can't just tell me to do it, you have to explain, I need pictures, I need an assistant, CAN YOU SEND ME AN ASSISTANT?!?!
Okay, back to the needle. So, I'm trying to pull this fat thread that has way too many strings through this non-exsitant hole and when I say non-exsitant, I'm NOT exaggerating! Okay, maybe I am because there IS a hole, you just can't see it unless you have laser eye sight and a bright light. So, I only get a few strands of the thread through and just try to pull the rest through which unwinds the thread and ruins it, then I'm all DUH, I don't NEED the WHOLE thread through, I just need a little bit and I'll tie a knot right on the end of the needle and be done. So I do it, not really thinking straight and tie a knot where the thread meets the needle hole (Is there a technical name for needle hole?) and realize, how the hell do I get that though the sequins, or felt or ANYTHING?! So I remembered once when I saw the costume designer at Club Med "thread a needle" and she put the thread though then pulled it half way through and tied a knot WAY far away from the needle, you know, like doubling up? So I realized that I DO need to get the WHOLE thread through the needle and cut off my knot leaving me WAY less thread and I don't think the stocking kit realized how much thread I was going to be cutting away in mistakes before I even STARTED. I'm getting all pissy and thought, be calm, collect yourself, you aren't FIVE. I tried to think of this process like yoga: relaxing, but the longer I tried to thread that damn needle, the more annoyed I became. Let me tell you, I gave that thing to Geoff to do. He said it may be possible with some tweezers.
Tweezers?
Here it is Monday night. I'm low on red thread and even lower on patience.
Did I mention how much I hate sewing?
15 comments:
I suggest you get a sewing teacher. Me! Technical term for hole in end of needle is "eye". If you are having so much trouble threading the needle, suggest you change the the needle to acomodate the thread, use a good light, a magnifier or get your eyesight checked. If it is a beading needle ( for sewing on beads & sequins)good luck, they can be tricky. Sewing is fun, and is is only bad experiences & lack of knowledge that make it a chore.
LOL!! I hate sewing too. Maybe because I suck at it so bad.
Muahhahahahahahahah! Oh man, you kill me! OK, OK, after Turkey day, we have a date. Bring all that crap over to my house and we will totally fix it up. Whew! Too funny!
aaahh i just "inherited" my grandmothers old sewing machine- i was all excited to learn. now i am scared.
lol sewing is for the birds! And yes, yes we will be at your house whenever you would like! I'll even bring eggnog! :-) Glad to know i'm not the only one who is already frustrated with the holiday
hahaha...sewing is for squares.
could you just NOT sew?
:() i'm not trying to be annoying. it just happens ;)
Go to the store and find a needle with a humongous eye. If you’re only sewing through sequins, then you can use a thicker needle. You can also get one of those needle thread-ers, which looks like a dime with a little loop of wire.
It's okay, I also hate sewing.
I've never figured it out.
Hand sewing does kinda suck. I suggest borrowing a machine or using seam glue instead of sewing it. In all honesty, it doesn't really need to hold up to the washing machine.
You should come here and we will do it together. Your stocking is going to rock
I have a sewing machine somewhere in my basement, don't ask me where.
Last week, I tore my skirt. I made my husband fix it for me. He swore me to secrecy. NO way--I SCORED to have found a guy like that!
I can sew (badly) but I won't attempt one of those stockings. Your kiddo had better cherish this for the rest of his life!
Stupid sewing!!!
I loved this post, btw. Ive never really tried sewing... well actually I did once but only for a day. Story time? ok, real quick.
It was 6th grade, I was in home ec class. We started day one of sewing and they gave us the pins with the big ball at the end? The ones I got were yellow. ANYWAY, I hollowed out my pen and stuck a needle in there and spit it at someone. It stuck in that little ball thats right between your eye and nose? and the kid FREAKED out at me and grabbed a pair of scissors and cut me. We both got suspended. Last time I sowed (sew?) anything.
the end.
I despise sewing too. I can't see about threading the needle and that gets me in a bad mood and it's all downhill from there. Sewing sucks.
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