Pregnant Vagina

Did you guys notice the new stats button on Blogger?

I mean, I notice things WAY late so this may have been here forever.

For those that read and don't blog (Are there any, really?), most bloggers are ADDICTED to stats.

C'mon, admit it.

We like to see how many people, who clicked on what, blah, blah, blah.

Note to stalkers: I know who you are.

If I had any. Damn.

Anyway, I clicked on this new "Stat" button and saw that the number one way people get to my blog through Google is by searching "Pregnant Vagina?".

Seriously.

Sooo, let me clear the air, that vagina thing can not house a baby, it is merely the trap door. Kind of like the red carpet entrance and a possible fire escape.

Are you catching me?

The floor is open, I know you guys have more questions and like those secret boxes in health class, you don't even have to write your name, just throw out those questions you have always been dying to ask. I'm here for you.

Basically, I'm full of wisdom and less harrier than that health teacher you had.

Love to love to love you, love you,


me.

On Not Taking Tylenol

Well, it's Saturday morning and I'm not hungover. You can thank our (air quote with fingers) FRIENDS who decided they wanted to work on their house instead of boozing it up with us like we do every weekend. I'm thinking that when they invite us to dinner, we shouldn't always show up with our suitcase? Do you think that scares them off? Do you think they are REALLY working on their house? Now I'm all self conscience. I think I'm going to call them over and over again until they pick up.

Anyway, in my non-hungover state, I decided to search out some new blogs and I totally fell in love with Tracey.

I even told her I love her. Maybe I shouldn't of. I always jump into things too soon. I mean, I just met her, sort of.

Oh well, got to go, I'm leaving my 8th message now...

Busy Busy

I haven't been able to post lately, I've actually been extremely busy. Oh no, not that getting to you guys is not important, you are all extremely important, but I've been, just, booked. You know the kind of booked that makes you crash at 7:30pm. Yeah, that is me.

I also have some picture updates. Obviously, blogging only gets accomplished when Sawyer, aka-boy who takes up all my energy, is sleeping, and I keep leaving the camera in his room. I don't dare go retrieve the thing while he is in there. That guy sleeps like a cranky old person who wakes at the very slightest of sounds. I always said that I wasn't going to make people be quiet when Sawyer sleeps, that I wanted him to be able to sleep through anything, sleep anywhere, blah, blah, blah. Here I am, holding my breath if I even get near the door. Screw what I thought before, I'll do anything for a few more minutes of mom time.

Aside from Sawyer, my husband and I are both starting a new path in terms of career/work. So, the updates are coming soon, I promise.



Meeeeeee

Oh, also, I just finished reading The True Story of Hansel and Gretel. Great book, it's sad but forces you to appreciate the things we have now. Currently I'm reading, Water for Elephants. Fantastic so far. I'm completely engrossed. Thanks to the book club we started at our moms group, I'm forced to read again, which is good, I really miss reading. (Then again it adds onto the whole busy thing. Do you see a trend?)

F.A.Q.

Anyone who is anyone has a frequently asked questions page so I need one too. Obviously most of these questions I'm pulling out of my A double snake because no one really asks me questions. Why don't you guys care, huh? HUH?!?! Care damn you!

Onto the fake interview/F.A.Q.:


1. How did you meet your husband? (This is the only legit question.)
Well that would be on the post titled, 'How I Met My Husband.' Basically it went something like this, I liked him and brewed up an evil plan on how to make him like me back. Sucker!

2- You lived in Turks and Caicos?! What brought you there?
Basically I was training to be a firefighter in California and last minute I wasn't hired and at the same time graduated college. I decided I was over working hard and decided I was going to just go have fun. That is still my state of mind, just go have fun!

3- Why do you answer your questions with 'basically'?
Because ever since I had a child, the amount of books I read took a dive and adult conversations becomes less and less. Basically I don't have a vocabulary.

4- There you go again.
Basically, yeah.

5- You seem to be all over the place and very random. How do you decide to do the things you do?
Pretty much because I feel like it. I guess most questions can be answered by that.

6- Because you felt like it?
Basically.

6- If you could take back anything, what would it be?
Ummm, maybe the time I photocopied my face, then I'm guessing I wouldn't have needed the Lasik.

7- If you could give one piece of advice to other parents, what would it be?
That you can have a life and have kids, it just takes more effort, a lot more effort but MAKE it happen, healthy 'you' and 'couple' time equals a better mommy/parent. Other set backs of not getting out is the birth of talking to yourself, hence this interview.

8- (Silence)
Is that all you have?

9- I'm scared to hear anything else, so, basically yeah.

Hmph.

Chicago Memories

There is a paper in Chicago with a section titled, Missed Connections. People write in to their possible future lover they never officially met but lust after on the train or in the coffee shop, or wherever they happen to first see this person. These were my favorite articles to read. I always wanted to publish one like this...

Missed Connections:

YOU: Reading a book in your small red and white long sleeve shirt.
ME: Staring at you through your living room window.
YOU: Turning your head every few minutes to the sound you think you heard outside.
ME: Throwing pebbles at the window so you turn and glance my way.
YOU: Slightly alarmed, close the blinds. You look so cute worried.
ME: Dressed in black head to toe, squinting through the gap between the blinds and the window sill. Won't you open your blinds again?

Meet me: Your parents house next Saturday. Don't worry, I already know where they live.

Just So You Know

If you are wondering where all my pictures are, I can't find my camera.

And now a song...

Where are you camera?
Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away-ya-eeey-yay-ay? (Add a lot of intonation and all that singer lingo here.)



Anyway, I'm sure it's somewhere it is suppose to be. I've always been good at losing things and finding it in some organized spot I don't normally put it. When is that day everyone cleans a lot and organizes everything? I hope not soon.

VOTE!

Elections aren't over yet. Keep the name or change it. There is a poll on the right side of this blog. Vote.

Say My Name, Say My Name!

So, the title of my blog has been kind of bothering me lately. I named it without thinking for even a split second. What was I saying again is something I say a little too often in conversations because I get distracted, and change the subject about thirty times before I go back and finish the first story I was trying to tell. "What was I saying again?!" Anyway, I feel like it's non-descriptive. So, I'm thinking of changing it, you know, before I get all famous for being pretty.

Life of a LoDo Mommy

Mishaps of a LoDo Mommy

Downtown Baby


So, LoDo (For those of you not in Denver) stands for Lower Downtown. That's where we live, we don't have a backyard, we have bars. So, I thought describing a location that isn't too common for raising a child while being more descriptive of my life might be a better title. What do you think? I thought I would consult the people that actually read this first. Any ideas?!

Pictures.

Alright, I'm still new at this posting pictures stuff. I notice that the pictures don't automatically center themselves in the space given meaning that I cut myself out of my own posted pictures. What year are we in? Do I have to do all the thinking for you internet blog page?! UGH!

Stand by while I figure this all out.

(You might be standing for a while...)

Failure #1, the first of many.

So after committing myself to something, I realized that I set myself up for failure. This month my family is going on vacation. (Hallelujah... HALLLLLL e LUUUUU JaHHHH... is singing in my head as I type vacation, vacation, VACATION!!!) So, naturally, I WON'T be logging onto the internet during my vacation, vacation, VACATION! So, besides that week of sun, scuba diving, margaritas, I am going to try and write every day. Don't lash me.

Get ready for my verbal throw up... in the form of blogs.

Sawyer,

I’m not necessarily sure what this will be about. I think it will be about you, but then I think it might be about me. Maybe I’m feeling selfish. Thing is, I want to write more. I used to write all the time, not so secretly, I wanted to write a book. To tell you the truth, I think I had a somewhat adventurous life that people might want to hear about. Then again, maybe they don’t. All I know is that somewhere along the line, I learned that I liked to put words onto paper regarding what I was thinking, what I was feeling. In no way am I a poet, or a mush gushy writer, but when I have an opinion, it’s usually an uber intense strong one and I think I am usually able to get that point across on paper and sometimes in a humorous manner. I’m also not too shy when it comes to embarrassing myself. I can’t help but feel a little jealous when I read these really funny mommy blogs that are all popular, because the truth is, I want to be there too. I want to be a funny mommy blogger that people want to read, a blog people relate to. Really though, I don’t have much to say, like I already said too much long ago and am now running out of words. I want my words back!

It’s funny though, how I used to write about all kinds of crazy stuff, I have notebooks full of stories and now, every time I think about writing, all I want to do is tell the world about you. How awesome you are, how adorable you are, how annoying you are at times, how tiring you can be, how much you eat, how much you poop, how much you have changed my life and how much I love you. I guess you are the most important thing in my life, right up there with Daddy and Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Oatmeal Balls. Man, I just love you three so much!

I guess the point is, while reading some of those mom blogs, I learned that this month is National Blog Writing Month (Or something like that.). If you want to join in, you have to blog every day. Really, I didn’t go to the website, or do any sort of research at all because, well, I’m lazy. So, maybe you aren’t suppose to blog everyday, I don’t know what the rules are, but it challenged me to TRY and blog every day for the rest of this month. Lets see what happens. Lets see if I find my words. Lets see who I bore to death. November 5th…. Day one of my daily blogging adventure…

Oh, and here is my third love:

2 cups Oatmeal
½ cup P/B
½ cup honey
2 tbs. Almond milk (Cause Dairy is the devil)
Handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips.

Mix together, roll into little balls and let sit for a few hours. No baking needed. Mmmm mmm good!


Your weird mom.