Friday, April 2, 2010

32 Weeks Pregnant

I feel like Texas. You know, big.

Big with a love of Mexican food and a thing for country.

I like country music right now, did I tell you guys this? I don't know if I can blame that one on hormones but I am big. Very big. Everything is tight. I complain and Geoff says, "You are smaller than last pregnancy, I think you look great."

That is his job, to compliment me but guess what, the one pair of pants I have left from last pregnancy are SKIN TIGHT! It looks like I went to some club and had my outfit painted on. There is no difference between body paint and my clothes, you can see every flap of skin, each lovely lady lump. I had two buttons pop off my pants just this week. I mean, don't tell me that is okay! It's not okay!

I just want to wear my pajamas EVERYWHERE! I don't get Colorado, no one does that. It's pretty common in California, if you have cute PJ's, you can totally wear them out to run your errands. Work out wear is common there too but not here. People look at you strange, trust me, I've tried. But whenever I go back to L.A., half the population is in some type of cute comfy pant, with a mismatched cute top, hair perfectly tousled and big sunglasses. Why can't I pull that off Denver, WHY?!?! Okay, one more example on how I'm gaining weight at record speeds: I bought two maternity shirts just three weeks ago. Both shirts were too big, room to grow, and stretchy. Well my friends, they are stretched to their limit. I'm sitting in one of them right now, it won't even cover my back as I lean forward. This is truth.

My friend sent me a Hypnobirthing book to help prep for this all natural birth I envision. In preparation, I thought it would be good to sit on my husbands hips without giving him time to rearrange his man jewels and yell, "OOooochhh! This hurts, I don't think I can do it anymore. IDON'TTHINKICANLIVE!!!! MUST have EPIDURAL!!!!!"

He sort of just looked at me.

"Babe," I say, "this is practice for when I'm in pain. I want to do this without the epi, so you need to be all, 'You are strong, hear you roar, and crap'".

"Owwww!!!!" I yell again.

"I don't care what it costs, I'll pay you cash, give the girl some drugs... and can you please, ummm, well, you are a little heavy." He nods to the side of him, clearly wanting me off his man zone.

Sooo not what I had in mind.


Other things:

I got a surprise ultrasound today and the sister is INDEED a sister and HEAD DOWN!

Woo! Sooo good for this birth plan I've got going on in my head.

The doctor also kept saying how great her brain looked. Couldn't get over her brain and "Wow, she is going to be sooo smart!" I can only assume that means she has a big head and my vagina will indeed shatter like glass BUT not like I haven't experienced THAT one before.

Onto the pics!!!




(This one is actually from 31 weeks but I couldn't resist throwing in a picture of my niece!)

10 comments:

Jenny said...

Pants are over-rated... it's springtime, bust out the dresses and skirts! Then again, you get snow this time of year, don't you... screw it, bring So Cal style to the uppety Denver masses and let them stare. When they pick up their next issue of People or US Weekly, it will make perfect sense. Besides, everyone (except husbands) know better than to mess with a pregnant woman.

G. B. Miller said...

Darn tootin', never, never, never mess with, insult, cajole or otherwise say anything remotely negative to a pregnant woman.

Otherwise, you'll be doing you're darn best impersonation of John the Baptist.

Maggie May said...

You look so freaking adorable.

MOMSICLE VIBE said...

You are outlandishly cute. Love the bump. Just love it. My hands all itchy wanting to give it a pat (I'm one of those belly rubby people). I got to a point late in my pregnancy where I could only wear a single pair of stretchy pants. Oh, how I loathed them...

MEGandJEFF said...

PJ's are where it's at..I wore/wear my yoga pants everywhere..

I'm w/ Geoff..you look great..really! The brown hair is still fabulous! :)

SurferWife said...

I would kill myself if I couldn't run out in my yoga pants, tank, flip flops and ponytail.

As a matter of fact, that si how I plan on going to my son's baseball practice in an hour. Maybe minus the tank. Not quite that warm. Probs sub it with a hoodie.

And you look ADORABLE!

The Skinny Mom said...

Wow... look at what an adorable pregnant person you are! And by the way, if you ever go to Super Target on a Saturday afternoon (I was there today after the gym) it is filled with work-out wear - I promise. I would wear work-out gear CONSTANTLY if I could...

Unknown said...

Lookin' good!

tera said...

I agree with Jenny - get some cute comfy dresses! And if you can't do pj's, how about scrub pants?

MrsDixon said...

Just discovered your blog from MODG. You look great! My favorite part: vagina shattering like glass! I hope it doesn't...how awkward!