Dear Iphone

Dear: Iphone

It is no surprise my husband has an insatiable appetite for anything Macintosh. Did you know that is one little thing that helped kick start our relationship? A love for your products? Thanks for that. Anyway, I believe his love is going to far.

This next story is 100% true.

Geoff and I were trying to find Sears Outlet in search for a decent fridge that didn't cost millions. I was the navigator. I'm not a good navigator.

Me- Okay babe, turn left. Oops, just kidding, U-turn.

Him- Is the compass on your iphone map?

Me- YES, okay, now turn right! Umm, just kidding again, U-turn. This iphone is good, it tells me when I mess up.

Him- It's not on is it?

Me- Yes!

He grabs my phone and turns the compass on.

Me- WOW, now this is REALLY EASY!!!

Him- I knew it wasn't on. You better watch out, this iphone can do a lot, I might even trade you in.

-Sound scratched record.


I get it iphone. You are really pretty.

You are for sure WAY skinnier than I am but curvy in just the right spots. Guys like that, don't they?

You can light up a room.

You know everything!

You can pull recipes out of your butt, give us all the good stock info, play any game, even the stupid ones I make fun of. You don't make fun of stupid games but play along and pretend to enjoy them. Geoff really likes that.

You are WAY smarter than me.

You never forget to remind us when we asked you to.

Speaking of reminders, you never forget a birthday.

You are pretty much perfect and now I hate you for that.

And, damn you, YOU NEVER GET LOST!

I'm not one to get jealous but you better back off my man. I will fight dirty.

Yeah, I saw you lookin' at her!

I'm not a jealous person. Really, I'm not.

He just loves to hang out with her.

I think I'm going to form some sort of Yahoo group. Wives and girlfriends dealing with this same issue.

Yesterday he hung out with her for hours. HOURS! Talking online, playing, hanging.

I am NOT making this up.

She is going down, I'll be sure of it.

She is sooo flat chested, boxish really. I'm not jealous, I'm not, but I hate her and I think I'm WAY hotter.

Maybe all of the girls on this Yahoo group can get together, form a bond, trick the 'other girl' into meeting us somewhere or a "chat" or "coffee".

That's when it will happen.

We'll get our revenge.

We'll set them on FIRE!

Yeah, but man would they smell burning up, them and all their PLASTIC!

So boring, no personality. NO one will miss them. NO ONE.

And the rest of us will be happy in a world without plastic, no good, flat chested of a girlfriend X Box.

But if he touches my Wii, there is going to be war!

Textation Nation

Last night I couldn't fall asleep. I was thinking about the evolution of language for some odd reason and the presence and absence of boundaries within our language. I don't know why I can't think of other things, like why the crew of Whale Wars act like they have no common sense, or if we will even live in a haunted house, or what age Sawyer will get a job and buy us lots of presents.

No, I was thinking about language. So, in honor of my sleepless state last night, thought I would re-post an oldie and get some more opinions.


The Text:

There is something that annoys me to no end and I have no grounds to be annoyed by what I feel is incorrect English. It is the past tense form of the word text: texted. Texted. TEXTED?! Really now? Yes. Really. It drives me crazy but from what I have read out there, the word 'texted' is not wrong, well, nor is it right, which leaves me, kerbobled (Urbandictionary.com meaning to be upset at something or someone, yo. I added the yo myself.). So, what is a girl to do?

My take on the whole thing...

Text: Thanks for the kind text message. Thanks for texting me that message. Will you text me your address? Will you send me your address in a text? I text you my phone number yesterday. I just sent you my phone number in a text.

Hmmm...

Let's look at the word 'beat'. I am going to beat you at Monopoly. You have me beat. I beat her at Boggle yesterday. Would you EVER say, I BEATED her at Boggle yesterday?! (AND, don't say no because you would never play Boggle, Boggle rocks and EVERYONE should play Boggle.)

What am I realizing? When people say 'text' they actually mean 'text message'. So, you aren't really texting anyone, you are messaging them. Is text a noun or a verb, or is it a noun that became a verb? Is it both? Adjective: text messaging. OR is text a verb in the legit urban dictionary I cited above? It's somewhat similar to the word 'test'.

Test: I am going to take a test tomorrow. I will be testing on that tomorrow. I am taking a test right now. I am testing right now. I took a test yesterday. I was tested on that yesterday. Tested. Tested, it works.

Test, both a noun and a verb and works with the 'ed.

I think the most correct way to verbalize the action of sending a text message is to use the word 'send' in it's present, past, and future forms as the verb. I will send you a text message. I am sending you a text message now. I sent you a text message yesterday. Ahhh, it's good music to my ears!

BUT, English is fluid, dynamic, ever-changing, always evolving and what once was against the rules of proper English can and will become correct if enough people use that exact phrase or word of incorrectness. Yes people, you have say in what Webster publishes!

If history repeats itself, people are not too prone to change and slang and laziness begin to take over. I know the word text will not stay a noun and never a verb, again. So, if we were to use the past form of text AS A VERB without us using 'text' or 'texted' or using 'send' as the verb, how do these options sound and look to you...


texed
tex'd
texd

Because I just can't bring myself to texted anyone.