It's a National Geographic in my Uterus

Alright, when my husband and I decided to start trying, I prepared myself for some Hell. Sawyer was a pretty easy pregnancy compared to a few other friends I have, but pregnancy with him was not an event I wanted to re-live over and over. At the beginning I was sick. Looking back, I'll say I was pretty damn sick. A menu would make me vomit. I would park my car in a parking lot knowing that if I needed to run behind it and throw up, there weren't going to be too many people to witness. I would find the restroom first no matter where I was at because soon I would be running towards it with contents of my stomach escaping. I think that lasted from week six or seven to week fifteen or sixteen. Scents would send me running. I was sure that I would miss my alcoholic drink at dinner but realized even the thought of it, let alone the scent would, you guessed it, make me vomit. Throwing up is not fun.

I prepared myself for a lot of throw up.

So far, I have not thrown up, or felt the need to. Once or twice, the smell of something didn't hit my stomach right, but not a big deal compared to the days the most important thing in my purse was a stack of barf bags stolen from an aircraft. (Thanks United.)

Questions for my O.B.:

1- Was I really suppose to show this fast?!?! My friend who is prego and tall and skinny and beautiful (Don't you hate her already?) said she swears she started showing at TEN weeks! I'm short and well, short and, okay, screw descriptions, but I'm only EIGHT weeks and I look like I did at 20 weeks last time?!?!

2- If this is not normal, what is in there? A black bear? A rhino? If it is a dangerous animal, how do we get it out? Should I schedule a C-Section now? Are rhino's born with those horns on their nose?! Do you know what that can do to my vagina?!?!

3- You didn't give me much wiggle room with only a 15-20 pound weight gain. Can I ask for a higher number? Do you accept bribes? HAVE YOU SEEN MY UTERUS, I think it's been watching too much Jon and Kate plus 8!!!

4- Can you tell my uterus to chill it's grill but NOT if it's going to make me vomit.

5- Last but not least, why the hell does Sam Adams Octoberfest smell so damn good? Can you give me a prescription to fix that?! So far I'm eying people in restaurants and sniffing drinks and it's getting a little embarrassing. Sniffing drinks is okay, I just can't consume them right cause baby Rhino wants a drink!



And now onto the tummy with a mind of it's own: AKA: What the hell happened, I don't even know you anymore!!!

At almost 6 weeks. I know there is some boobage (Good thing I have mostly ladies on here, fellas, divert your eyes if you hung in this long). I was going to retake the picture a week later thinking it would look the same, and, ummm, I was mistaken. So, I guess this becomes the official 'before rhino' picture.




And at week 8:




That's what I get for thinking all the people that said they were showing at week 7 were liars.

Baby number two is NOT messing around.