The Random

It was Christmas morning several years back. I was working as a flight attendant at the time and woke up with a serious eye ache. I mean, SERIOUS. It hurt to be closed, it hurt to be open and WHEN it was open it just poured out tears. I guess I scratched my eyeball. I was totally fine working on Christmas day but it didn't look like that from a passenger's point of view. Tears fell as I handed out water without ice, Pepsi with extra ice and maybe even the can because they asked for it and hell, it was Christmas. Merry Christmas. Tear.

As I pushed my face into the pillow, it's no surprise I've scratched my eye while sleeping several times since that Christmas. I practically SMASH my eye into the pillow like my eye is being interrogated and I will cut off all oxygen until it does what I ask... which issssss- I'm not really sure. Stupid eye.

But it's always the moments my eye is encased in pillow when I think my way into dreamland the quickest. I've had a lot going on in the past few weeks and with all this thinking I haven't been blogging and I owe you guys.

Like the bear story? Hello?! You all wanted to hear the ending and I've been holding out... mostly because the end isn't that interesting. We opened the garage doors, made a lot of noise and after the bear jumped up and down on our jeep a few times, he just waddled his way on out. (I'm sorry bear if you are a girl!) We didn't think he broke anything but he did. JERK! Our automatic garage door is officially broken. Sad face. I have to open the door manually now. Who does that?!?! What year am I living in anyway? In most seriousness, I am terrified when I come home late and I know I can be opening the garage door to a black bear. I hear they are afraid of noise so when I open the car door and walk toward the garage door, I make yelping noises. No joke. I should be secretly video-taped. You guys would love it.

For about a week straight animal control was up here every night with spotlights. Geoff finally called them and they said they were looking for the bear. I'm not sure if they found him and if they did, what they did with them. Our house was like the fifth the bear broke into and I can only think it's because someone fed him. Don't feed wildlife, it really, in all actuality, eventually, cat get them killed.

My photography business had been BUSY! I'm totally surprised and totally happy! Since I've opened I've been thinking about this blog. All good photog pages have a blog. I have this one. Sometimes I say the F-word and sometimes I say vagina. Like now, VAGINA. Or now, vagina. You have to swat my vagina words away like flies over here! There is no way I can do all that I'm doing and keep up with two blogs. I love you guys. And I like saying vagina. My friend says that I shouldn't link this blog up to my photo page because F-words and anatomy words aren't the best form of advertising. What do you guys think?

Geoff's birthday is coming up. Every other birthday, he gets a positive pregnancy test as his present. Can you guess what he wants this year? Can you guess what he isn't getting? It starts with a 'V'...


Love you guys more than all the F words in the world!

me.

Questions and an Update

Robin, one of the sweetest bloggers I know with an obsession with Eminem tagged me. If you don't know Robin as a blogger, you have to go say hi!

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
Don't have pets, don't want pets, they get hair everywhere, you have to feed them... except for maybe a horse and someone to take care of them and teach me how to do gymnastics on their backs so I can have big circus-like shows here!

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
For my daughter to not grow up to be Snooki.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you? Mice.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Buy my husband a John Deere tractor, an X box and a huge catamaran. Then I would get my eyebrows waxed (They are looking like they might crawl away.), put money in the kids' college fun and save, save, save the rest for whatever I feel like, family, good political causes, charity, whatev.

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood? People that know me best would guess booze but the real answer is running. Almost any type of exercise but mostly running.

Okay FINE and a margarita.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? Both. Being loved by a stalker is kind of freaky and loving someone that doesn't like you back is a bit stalkerish. Balance my little friends, balance.


7. What is your bedtime routine? Get the kids to bed as fast as possible and pour myself a glass of wine.



8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner? He was standing on his balcony in boxers. Have you seen my husband's abs? I was like, "MUST. SCORE. HIM" in a very robot like voice.



9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be? Maybe a really great interior designer so I could learn how to better put together color in various rooms while creating flow. I like house stuff!


10. What kinds of books do you read? I used to really like non-fiction, books that really taught me something and made me think but right now anything that is pretty brainless, usually fiction that just helps me relax. Remember the whole "I have a two year old" thing. Yeah.

I just finished reading Testimony by Anita Shreve and it was GREAT!

11. how would you see yourself in ten years time? With a sweet boob job... Kidding. I hope to have a great set of friends that live somewhat near us, the kids in a good school, debt paid and maybe a catamaran so my husband and I can sail naked.

12. What’s your fear?
That Geoff might make me empty a mouse trap.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space? I'm not into junk food that much so sure but honestly I don't really want to go to space, seems like I wouldn't get much of a tan with the whole space suit thing. Seriously, space has never been on my TOP things to do before I die. Can I go somewhere else for totally giving up junk food?

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor? Married to my husband ten fold!

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Whip my boob out and feed Charlotte.

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be? That he will never ever fart and hold me under the blankets ever again!

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be? I like my name!

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done? I don't forgive and forget. Almost ever. I know, I'm an A-hole. I've been too screwed over by people way too close to me. You mess up, you are out.

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be? Salad. I know, I'm lame but you can change it in sooo many ways!!!

Or maybe mexican food? Does that count as "one thing"?



Okay, and now for a few updates. I've made a decision that was kind of hard to come to and I know some of you might break up with me but on weekends I decided I'm going to do some reviews on this blog. It comes down to what is going to be best for me and my family and don't worry, it's not turning into a review blog AT ALL. I'll still be talking about how much vagina's tear during child birth but on weekends, like I said, I'm going to throw in a review or two of various things and for putting up with me, maybe I'll even do a few giveaways.

I love you all sooo much and appreciate your support!!!

Take it from Me

My grandma always told me to learn from others' mistakes so you don't have to learn from your own.

I've been sick this week. Stupid cold. Stupid, stupid cold.

Here is your chicken nugget of knowledge:

Remember that one statistic about how many spiders the average person swallows in their lifetime in their sleep?

REMEMBER IT?!

Don't remember it trying to fall asleep on a night you know you are going to be a mouth breather.

Take it from me.

Pregnant Vagina

Did you guys notice the new stats button on Blogger?

I mean, I notice things WAY late so this may have been here forever.

For those that read and don't blog (Are there any, really?), most bloggers are ADDICTED to stats.

C'mon, admit it.

We like to see how many people, who clicked on what, blah, blah, blah.

Note to stalkers: I know who you are.

If I had any. Damn.

Anyway, I clicked on this new "Stat" button and saw that the number one way people get to my blog through Google is by searching "Pregnant Vagina?".

Seriously.

Sooo, let me clear the air, that vagina thing can not house a baby, it is merely the trap door. Kind of like the red carpet entrance and a possible fire escape.

Are you catching me?

The floor is open, I know you guys have more questions and like those secret boxes in health class, you don't even have to write your name, just throw out those questions you have always been dying to ask. I'm here for you.

Basically, I'm full of wisdom and less harrier than that health teacher you had.

Love to love to love you, love you,


me.

Hoping my toe nail doesn't fall off like LAST time!

I decided I need to be selfish.

Geoff's video games send me over the edge. I want video games to burn in Hell with red hot fire ants biting their little CD or plastic or virtual bodies

I get so cranky when they have my husband's attention.

The next thing I know, I'm super pissed remembering all the times he didn't change that poopy diaper.

It's not healthy.

And seriously moms, when was the last time you were truly selfish? One day I was like, "I'm going to buy myself something and be selfish."

Geoff was like, "Cool, what?"

"A better cutting board."

Ummm, why, so I can chop FASTER for the meals I cook for everyone every night?

Then I said, "Self, you need to come first sometimes, like totally and completely first. Remember how much you love to run? Maybe you should finally sign up for a marathon in Colorado?'

And because I'm ALWAYS right, (Trust me, I am.) I searched marathons in Colorado and guess what popped up?

The first ever Rock 'n' Roll Marathon IN Denver! I mean, it was soooo meant to be! It's kind of like when I met Geoff and thought he was cute and knew one day we would would get to make out forever and ever in that first second I met him.

I only have two and half months to train so this probably is not my brightest idea but I've pulled a marathon out of my butt before... after a night of sake drinking. Not a fun 26.2 miles, I'll tell you THAT!

So basically, I'm going to make out with marathon on October 17th, one day before my birthday, and you should totally come see. I also won't turn down any birthday presents if you just HAPPEN to be that way with your wrapping paper...

(I'm also excited because I talked another blogger who always makes me laugh into doing it too. I had to bribe her with mojitos but hey, whatever works right?)

Peace, love and LOTS of running and chaffing in spots I won't mention,

me.

Tid Bits

I totally suck because I haven't been blogging.

My little guy is sick and cranky all day.

My daughter is as high maintenance as I predicted and doesn't sleep at nigh.

I make strong coffee in the morning.

Southwest found sixty severed human heads in their cargo. They said, "They weren't packed correctly." This is maybe a dumb questions but is there a correct way to pack severed human heads? Just wondering.

I found an awesome dresser on Craigslist that I am refinishing and it feels so empowering to use power tools and make something look better than it did before, you know, if I don't screw it up and make it look worse. I'm still proud of myself for the great find because, hell, furniture is expensive!

Sawyer's room is almost finished and I've started on the guest room. Geoff was hanging shadow boxes and questioning my placement but everything he has questioned me on so far has turned out JUST like I wanted. He looks back at what I did, usually going against his advice and said (no joke), "Yeah, ummm, I think you have good vision for decorating." Though I'm liking what I've done, doesn't EVERYONE like the way THEY decorate? I'm sure the previous owners really thought using kids stickers as wall decor was awesome. NOT AWESOME and NOT EASY to take off!

I got a bloggy award a while back and will be posting it and spreading the love once I get two hands back. Yes, I typed all this with one hand while feeding the kiddo. I also typed the whole birth story with one hand, I think that deserves another kind of award.


I love you guys to the Indian ocean and back and will bring more updates and pictures soon!!!

Issues

This morning I looked in the fridge for a pen.

And that is on a full nights sleep. I wonder what is gong to happen when this baby comes.

I have pictures to share and blogger won't load them. Is anyone else in this boat?

Don't you wish I was literal when I said "boat"? A boat would be really nice right now.

My Disappearing Act

Is it really already Friday and I haven't posted one thing this week? Wow. Well, ummm, I've been super busy. Really busy. You know, doing things like:

Catching up on the Office and watching re-runs just in case I missed a joke.

Wondering how Michelle Duggar sneezes without peeing her pants.

Reading books.

Internally debating whose boobs are bigger: mine or Jessica Simpson's.


These things take up lots of time.


I'm also trying to be more positive regarding our house. Our house. I call it, "our house." Can you believe that? Am I delusional? You know when nothing else can go wrong and it does and then you think, "That is it, nothing ELSE can go wrong." Then something does go wrong. That would be the house, our house. It's going to be OUR house.

So on a POSITIVE note, we passed our latest inspection. This was actually a huge hurdle. One that required cutting holes in the wall to catch leaks from broken pipes that wouldn't of occurred had the bank done their job in a timely manner. Oh yeah, positive, so Yippee, we passed inspection!

I'm going to keep up my positive and tell you how in love with my husband I am. I'm so crazy about that guy it's nutty. The other night he got home really late. He was out the house doing all sorts of work before the inspection and his phone died. I couldn't help but worry myself wondering if something happened to the car and without a phone, no houses nearby, crazy snow, what would he do? What would I do? Did he get in an accident? I looked at accident reports. The thought of anything ever happening to him brings tears to my eyes. I can't believe I scored him, really.

I'm also getting my hair done today. I don't think I've had my hair done since August. I can say, my roots are probably longer than you hair, and you know what, I haven't really cared. With Sawyer I wanted to be the cute pregnant girl. WIth this girl, I could care less, I don't wear makeup, ever, my hair is always messy, my outfits don't match. I'm a wreck, truly. It was Geoff that finally said, "Baby, when do you want to schedule a hair appointment?" Ha! So, I did. I mean, someone has got to keep me in check!

And I'm thinking brown, dark brown. I've never been dark, dark brown. So, yeah, at 4pm I'm going to go to the salon to get smart. I think smart will look good with my boobies.

Just when I start to get Cranky

Okay, I know I shouldn't start a post with "okay" but too bad (Cause rules suck, right?). I was all cranky and getting annoyed and feeling impatient, I mean, check out what I started to write on the poor internet that has to gobble up my words no matter what it thinks...

I'm over it. I'm getting really over it. I've been having headaches, you know the ones that feel like your brain is being dragged behind a truck on a road that really needs to be repaved? Yeah, those and the doctors are like, you can have tylenol and I'm like, no thanks, that doesn't even do anything. So whatev.

I'm also soooo over this short sale stuff. Why the Hell can't a bank get their act together when they expect the world from us. I mean, can you imagine telling a bank, you'll get to them when you feel like it?!

Oh, and don't even get me started on Microsoft Word. No offense PC users, but I could NEVER go back.

And then I logged onto facebook because I'm easily distracted and was reading some status updates and wasting time and trying not to be annoyed and negative because, really, things could be worse than being annoyed at a non Mac computer then, THEN my friends, I read that my friend Janet was going to try and cut out dairy.

Cut. Out Dairy.

Those three words are like Christmas to me. A really fun, non debt ridden, fancy lights, family and friend filled, lobster for dinner kind of Christmas. You know, one I hope to have in my lifetime but don't REALLY need as long as people keep realizing how disgusting dairy is and that they shouldn't be putting their bodies through the evils of it and tell me THEY ARE CUTTING OUT DAIRY!

Ring the bells, sound the alarms (the fun ones), start the parade because EVERY single person that decides to research and realize how sucky a cows breast milk is for the human body, turns my frown upside down.

Diary sucks, dairy sucks, YAY! YAY! YAY!

P.S. I said "turn my frown upside down". I'm so lame.

Things that are going on.

I didn't actually TELL you guys because I thought once I said it, I wouldn't be able to do it, totally go blank, but turns out I still failed.

Last year, the thing that kicked off this blog was National Blog Posting Month, NaBlPoMo or something like that. Aren't the initials a little too long to be helpful? Anyway, you are suppose to blog EVERY DAY! Seriously, every day for a month. I got like three in a row and was so proud, I wanted to take my OWN temperature, you know, just to make sure I was still okay.

And I failed because there is no post yesterday. I MEANT to post, I even had stuff to say, but the day just flew by, just like the last few months have. I mean, did you guys know it's November? It's not August, or September and I'm pretty sure October got skipped but it's NOVEMBER!!! I can't believe it! Yeah, so, a day got by me, oops.

Since I've been asked, here is the deal with the house...

I have NO clue what real estate language means! Until yesterday, we have not heard back from anyone. All this waiting is driving Geoff nuts but somehow along with all the crazy I've become, I've also become patient. It's like patience is my new super power. I'm all super power patient... with EVERYTHING!!! I'm also not all obsessive about things (Weird huh, Aurora?!?!) and fell back in love with our little condo. I was checked out long ago, got annoyed at it often and was sure the hormones, once I became pregnant, would make it worse. But it didn't. I'm happy here and am going to miss it when it's gone but the key word, is it eventually needs to be GONE. We have to sell and until we do, there isn't a house for us. So, all this waiting was good, no sold condo equals no bought house and I was fine, patient.

BUT yesterday we got a few emails in some other language that wasn't offered in my high school foreign language selection and now I have NO idea what is going on.

Story: My step grandpa is super smart, creative, funny; he INVENTS things! I thought this was soooo cool when I was younger. One day on the drive back from his place my friend and I asked my step mom how growing up with him was. It had to be awesome, right? Your dad just builds and invents cool toys and games and plays with you all the time. It's like a dream! I'll never forget her story. She said it had its drawbacks. For Halloween one year, she wanted to go to some party, dress as some thing BOUGHT from a store. It was cool back then, you know, to BUY your costume. Purchasing wasn't going to do it though and her dad had it covered. She came home one day to the most bizarre outfit sitting on her bed: pants with one leg cut off, crazy shirt that wasn't a long sleeve or a short sleeve, different socks, etc. After finding out that THIS was indeed her 'new costume', she asked what the heck she was suppose to be. The answer? A Confuse-A-Cat. You walk down the street and confuse all the cats. A Confuse-A-Cat. She was mortified.

I feel like that is exactly what real estate language is. A big Confuse-A-Cat. We get this email that says the file has been closed but a closed file can always be reopened and the new negotiator is unwilling to negotiate the price further. Well, we didn't ask to negotiate the price any further and why is the file closed if you keep extended the foreclosure date? The agent also said something about finding their bottom price and junk. I don't get it. Say what you mean. If the bank doesn't want to negotiate any more from OUR price, than accept our price! If they don't want to negotiate from the asking price, then don't accept our price and we'll OFFER you the ASKING price. But MAKE A MOVE! We are not far off from the asking price as it is, basically if the bank wasn't so dang wishy-washy, they would of made that difference in mortgage payments by now. I think the whole letter meant, we are going to say a bunch of stuff to confuse you because we actually haven't done a damn thing including winterize! I would of been so much happier and less confused if the email I got back simply said, "Confuse-A-Cat." Cool, I get it, thanks, makes TOTAL sense, I'll keep waiting!

I'm shutting up now, I have to make sure I have more to say tomorrow, you know for National Blog like a Lunatic Month.


Peace, love and confusing outfits,


me.

Someone loves me!

The only awards I ever got in school were perfect attendance. It's the, you suck at everything award, but you sure do try hard! So, forgive me if I get excited but Peeling an Orange with a Screwdriver sent me this award! She said it's because she enjoys reading my blog, I think it's because she heard how bitchy I get when I'm pregnant. (That's right internet, I cursed.) Thank you, thank you, I love you back too, does the award come with some of your awesome baked goodies??? No? Damn.





I'm going to pass it along to The Peach Tart and Chelsea Talks Smack. These ladies will most likely make you urinate in your granny panties from laughing so hard while reading their blog. Don't say I didn't warn you...


Onto other news, my father in law and his wife are flying in this weekend. This is their first visit since I've been married to Geoff. Immediately I thought, WHAT THE HELL DO I COOK?! I asked Geoff who said his dad likes goulash.

Ummm?

What. Is. That?

That sounds like a dessert you serve up at some halloween party and only the drunks dig in. Slightly nervous about this ghoul something dish, I settled on Nicoise Salad. That is close enough, right?

I still feel good, really good. So good, I'm ready for a drink but the doctors frown on that. With Sawyer I was sooo sure I was going to miss drinking. In fact, when Geoff and I decided to start trying for baby two, I thought, LET ME BINGE DRINK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE just so I wont miss it. No, I didn't binge drink... okay, well not every day. Okay, I'm off track, point is, with Sawyer, the smell of anything alcoholic made me vomit. I could even smell it on Geoff after he brushed and mouth washed. I was incredibly sensitive to the smell and didn't want a drop of the adult beverage near my mouth, or nostrils. Now, NOW, I could sure go for a margarita...

Self control. Practice self control. (Just thinking out loud.)

Oh and: My stomach is already getting bigger. I complained about this to Geoff who said it was not until I lifted up my shirt. He poked my belly and said, okay, maybe it is.

Oh and: I bought my baby the beginning of his big boy bed... the headboard. He is growing up WAY too fast.

Oh and: Even though Geoff wouldn't give me cupcakes for dinner, I retaliated by eating a few handfuls of dark chocolate chips with my breakfast eggs. Don't even say that is gross.

Oh and: I still want to star in a broadway show. Do you know any that don't require a good singing voice? I've been thinking about this heavily each time I teach aerobics. I would be really amazing. Really.



Peace, love and perfect attendance,

Me.

Just Updating!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I'm not on here much right now. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure why. It wasn't a slow withdraw, it wasn't planned, just one day I stopped. I stopped wanting to write, and even stopped looking at sitemeter. (Yes, I can admit, I loved stats.) I don't remember the last time I looked. Then I was a little too nervous to write anything, didn't have much to say. Why would you want to read? THEN I remembered why I started this blog, to keep family and friends updated from far away lands, aka- not Denver.

So, here I am and here are some updates.

Three words I don't say very often.

Are you ready? (Breath, imagine the words, formulate them, meditate on the meaning, you can do this Holly.)

I. Was. Wrong.

Thanks for all the congrats on the house post. I guess when they approved the price, it wasn't the bank but the owners which means we are still kind of nowhere. We found out they there are two contracts and ours is in the number one position so THAT is good. We did our inspection even though everything can got to crap and we may not get this house but we figured, one- we can inspect it now and lose that money if we don't get the house, or 2- wait until it's closer to ours and pay to dewinterize it and winterize is so doing it NOW actually saves us money later. We chose two. The house is in pretty great condition except the display on the oven and outlets. So, you can heat the over, but you will never know what it's heated to OR more importantly not know the time or how late I'm running. Also the outlets. You know that things that shuts off your blowdryer if you decided to jump in a pool while drying your hair? Yeah, the outlets are missing that. So basically, we can get shocked to death. We were concerned with the foundation but as our inspector put it "This house isn't going anywhere ever. These mountain homes are built on granite. Granite!" I wonder if I can dig some up and replace the counters. He didn't say yes. Oh, he also said, "TLC, wow, this place needs A LOT of love!" A little concerning considering this guy inspects houses all day and our place seemed to need extra special love versus every other house, but hey. We are ready to give it hugs and lovin' all day.

I think I'm getting used to the smell and the dirt int he house because each time I go, I love it more, can breath in my nose and forget about the dead mouse in the dining room or feces on the carpet. Instead I focus on what I want to do with each room. My last visit was to compare two of the basement rooms, I think I decided to switch the play room with the Hill suite and was reminded again how thankful I am for certain people we have in our life and thankful for people that got out of our life as well. Isn't it good to clean up, even in the friend department?

Things lately feel that they are going my way. Several times in the past few weeks I've felt annoyed, like we were going backward, or not forward and getting nervous for the future. I wanted to whine in the corner and stomp my feet a few times. I wanted to get my way, to always get my way.

You appreciate getting what you want more so after not being granted certain things, but you know this.

I'm also on a super health kick and get ready for part 2 of the Dairy is Evil post. It is. Pure evil. Run away now.

The real point is, I love you all! Duh!

me

P.S.- Wooo-hoooo! I just looked up the house online and it's status is no longer active. The sellers agent SAID he was going to mark it 'under contract' but I didn't actually believe him. Everyone better back away from that house, it's OURS (okay, obviously not yet) and we aren't giving it up! BUT, we do like to do dinner parties...

Teaching this OLD dog new tricks. Thanks kid!

Hi everyone!!!

Sorry I have been so busy lately but it doesn't help that GEOFF BOUGHT A PACK OF GUM.

Yeah.

So, if you just joined me, THIS is what happens when Geoff chews gum.

Yesterday:

Me- "Babe, WHAT is in your mouth?!"

Him- "Ummmm..."

Me- "Just WHERE did you get that from? Who gave it to you?!"

Him- "I bought it myself."

Me with hand cupped under his chin. "Okay, now spit it out."

Him after spitting gum into my hand- "You win."


As you can see things just keep getting busier around here but, but, BUT-

I wanted to tell you guys about Sawyer's new trick. Ready? You are going to get a kick out of it, love it, really, you will.

Sigh.

Sawyer knows what he wants, can communicate pretty decently what he does and does not want. When he does not get what he wants, he is not a happy boy. So, the other day I was shaving my legs because I hear three inch long leg hair is not in style right now (Weird, right?) and I hear Goeff yelling for me to 'COME HERE!!!'. Didn't he know that I just lathered and was ready to swipe? I asked him to hold on and he was like, "No, RIGHT NOW!" Rude, no?

"Babe, one sec!"

"It's an emergency, RIGHT NOW!"

Since I have been with Geoff, I have never heard the 'E' word. I ran out and found a limp and blue one year old in Geoff's arms. I knew instantly what happened and yelled Sawyer's name sharply while running over to him as Geoff was shaking his arm and telling him to wake up.

Right as I got there he opened his eyes and started breathing. Color came back to his face, his lips and he looked scared out of his mind. I held him, kissed him, was sooo happy that my boy was breathing. He breaths, yes, BREATH, glorious breath. Sawyer was exhausted in my arms, and Geoff told me what happened.

Yes folks, meet my son Sawyer who knows how to throw an excellent tantrum. Turns out Geoff wouldn't let Sawyer pound on the keyboard, Sawyer got upset, cried and held his breath until he passed out The annoying part is, it works. He becomes upset, tries to kill himself and we all give him love afterword. He isn't even TWO yet and he's got manipulation down. Awesome. I predict our life ahead as just, uhhh, awesome. (P.S. This breath holding thing is not uncommon, just be warned.)

Still no diaper bag and in my last post I mentioned throwing a tantrum just to get one before November... any idea what I have in mind???


Love you all!

Peace, love and lungs full of oxygen,

me.

Little bit of a letter, little bit of an update, lot a bit of random.

You know the guy at Disneyland with a harmonica in his mouth, a drum hanging off his back, guitar in hands? I'm that guy and sometimes I'll stop to eat. I'm not complaining, no, I actually like it. I'm just a little hungry and longing for a free day. Things are only going to get busier and I think I'm okay with that. It just means other things don't get done as well, like spending all my time looking for a diaper bag to lust for each day. (Today I'm all about the Not Rational bags in case you were wondering. I want to buy several and hold their hand, and cuddle with them, Not Rational bags and Holly for LIFE, heart, heart.) I've started training people at the gym I teach at, getting clients in the summer in Denver is not the most easy thing. Denver is a fit city and in the summer, people are out, hiking, running, biking. Now, I want them to be in, with me, training, inside. Anyone want to come inside?

Just a few days ago I found out a girl that belonged to a website I was addicted to throughout my pregnancy experienced something I could not even wrap my head around. She dropped her son off at his grandparents house (on the dad's side, not the moms) to have a weekend without her little boy. She received a call later that weekend, her son jumped into the pool and drowned. No one was watching him and he didn't make it.

Pause.

This disturbs me beyond words. I'm am deeply saddened for this family. I don't know if or how any forgiveness will take place on every end. I don't know if I could forgive someone who was suppose to be watching one of the most prized people in my life, and if I was the responsible party, I would never, ever forgive myself. Needless to say, I cried. I cried because this happens everyday and it happened to someone I have a small connection to. I cried because it seemed more real. I cried because Sawyer is not invincible to the world, and if anything happened to him, I wouldn't be able to function, maybe be able to EVER function normal again.

Since then, I've upped the kisses Sawyer receives each day. I'm sure he is sooo over my hugs and dorky mom kisses, but I'm incredibly lucky to have such an amazing family and feel even more lucky that they are safe, healthy, happy. I look at them and feel spoiled, Veruca from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory kind of spoiled and I'm now more fully and happily aware of this fact. I love my boys, my golden tickets!

Okay, back to the one man band. I'm jumping back into the travel agent stuff again. I don't know why I took a mini vacay from it, I think it was our own vacation, Sawyer's birthday, teaching WAY more fitness classes and sometimes having up to four showings a day on our place but I'm back in the game and booking trips! The more activities I schedule for myself, the more efficiently I run. I don't know what is going on each day unless I look at my planner. It's bad.

All of that means I sleep well at night, really well, am up early and gone all day. I feel behind on your blogs and miss you, I'm behind on mine a bit a apologize but you can be sure, I'm not behind on the newest diaper bag releases, thanks to the iphone's great internet connection...


Love you all, hug your children, fence in your pools and always eat your vegetables.


Me

Calling all Haters

Lately everyone's blog is complaining about the people that leave hurtful comments, are just plain mean, and more than anything, leave those comments anonymous hiding their identity.

Wussies.

Truth is, I'm a little jealous.

I still let people know I love them by making fun of them.

I throw things at people I like.

I get a little bit mean when I feel intimidated.

Why are you guys all so nice to me?

WHERE ARE MY HATERS???

I feel like my haters are really my TRUE LOVERS!


Some reasons you should hate me:

I was wasted the day before I took my first positive pregnancy test and don't regret it. I almost wonder why I didn't throw in one last shot for good measure, and I have friends being yelled at by the anonymous commenters, 'HOW DARE THEY DRINK WHEN THEY WERE EVEN TRYING TO GET PREGNANT!" Hell, I say, bottoms up, until you know for sure you can't anymore.

Speaking of drinking, just two days ago, I wasn't doing too well with balancing a beer and pushing my son in a stroller. Beer spilled on top of his head about THREE times and I thought it was HILARIOUS!

I don't floss.

I'm not into animals. Not an animal lover, so shoot me. Don't want one, ever. I feel animals should roam free, and not be caged in our house.

The other day I fed my son a Reece's Peanut Butter pancake for breakfast because I thought it would be funny to watch him bounce off the walls but didn't think about how he would feel passing that crap through his system.

I peed in the ocean during our vacation.

I caused my husband to not be friends with some of the relationships he had before we met and am a little proud of it.

I haven't spoke to my mom since I was in high school though she tries to reach out to me.

I don't listen to you, I try to fix you, that's my style.


Sometimes I suck.


Don't you think????

Happy 4th!

I wanted to wish you all a happy 4th of July while I could. We are headed to the mountains to camp. Forecast calls for rain and severe thunder storms and my husband wonders why I was asking where our long underwear is. Wish us luck, have a good one and drink lots of beer!!!

P.S. - I started on our vacation post part 2 but my computer battery is no longer doing it's job, my laptop needs to be plugged in at all times and if I move in a way that unplugs the cord from my computer, the computer shuts down and I get all annoyed and do something else, so thanks for your patience.

P.S. 2 - I'm finally getting caught up with your blogs and trying to comment when I can, but then said computer shuts down and I don't go back to it, but it's good to get caught up with you all again!

P.S. 3 - The tan is wearing off. Boo.

P.S. 4 - I almost wrote a really angry post about that stupid weight gain curve for babies. Sawyer had his doctors appointment yesterday and had to have a catheter inserted to get a urine sample, blood taken, and his shots all in one day. He gained two pounds in one month but THEY still want to do tests to see why he isn't keeping up with obese americans. I stopped myself when curse words were actually running though my head. I don't curse, so this was bad and I stopped myself from polluting the internets with negativity. Sawyer cried harder than I have ever heard him in his life and tears were running down my eyes the entire appointment. The nurses had to keep saying, "You're doing great MOM". How embarrassing.

P.S. 5- Oh, I forgot, ANOTHER reason I haven't been good with posting is...I'm really excited about this, I am now officially president of my moms club and have had a bunch to do. Meeting with the last prez, learning the ropes, going through paperwork (and there is A LOT of paperwork), finding new board members, emailing new members, putting together a newsletter, figuring out monthy meetings, speakers, themes, and so forth. Who knew this could be so much work? I think once I get into the swing of things, it's going to be a blast! Actually, it's already fun.

Okay, I'm done with all the P.S. stuff. Love you all and I'll be back Monday!!!

Best Vacation EVER

We are home, got back at about 1 am actually and we are doing all the things people do when they get back from vacation. Laundry. Lots of laundry.

The trip was the most amazing thing I have experienced to date. My skier mountain-man husband might have turned into a sailer beach bum with a sexy tan and scratchy chin scruff. I have so much to say and so many pictures to post, obviously today will not be that day. I'm back, it feels good and it feels sad. It's funny, I still feel like I'm rocking!

Here is the first and only picture I have downloaded so far:

Isn't she a beauty so far? Wait until you see the rest of her!


We all decided that after a trip like this detox was in order, two weeks of healthy eating and no drinking of the adult beverages.

Detox is going great so far though it's only been half a day. I say 'great' because Geoff says mimosas don't count.

So there.

I'm excited to get posting soon, until then, I've got to put the darks into the washer.

Miss and love you all,

Me.

Randomness

Cheese Moth: It's no secret I hate dairy. Cheese, milk, creamy crap, any and all dairy I am no fan of. I recently discovered that I also have a hatred of moths. I feel like their goal in life is to fly in my ear aiming for ear wax. I've seen this once in real life and I'm scarred. I've never heard a grown man whimper in so much pain before that moment. I think moths flying into ears is inevitable and I don't want it to happen to me. Denver weather has been a little on the chilly side, so we have been keeping our door open, to capture the breeze, cool our house without having to turn on the air conditioner and each night we see a moth or two flying around. Each time I see the thing, I shriek, jump out of the way, hide in the bathroom, jump in bed and pull the covers over my face. ANYTHING to not experience a moth nose dive into my ear canal. Meanwhile, Geoff is running around the room trying best to capture the intruder before it pops my eardrum. Last night before we dozed off (after he caught two moths of course), Geoff started laughing. Laughing and laughing and laughing. When he was able to catch a breath he yells, " Watch out for the Cheese Moth! Ahhh-ha-ha-ha, WHAT would you do if it was a moth made of CHEESE?! Oh, that would be sooo funny, your WORST nightmare!" I pictured it, an orangey, shiny, hot moth. Shiny because he keeps flying into lights, melting his cheese like body, flapping his cheese wing furiously to get away before he burns, cheese flinging onto me each time he flies over my head (eyeing my ear obviously), and yes, the thought absolutely terrifies me!

Old Man Cake: Yesterday I went a cute little bakery in Denver to order a cake for Sawyer's Birthday. No, I'm not the mom that makes him special cakes. I'm not even the mom that can make him cookies. I'm not that mom. So, I went into this place based on a recommendation from a friend who had a damn cute cake for her son. I realized after I started to order that I had NO idea what I was doing or what I wanted. "I don't know, blue, green, like grass green, and cool and hip. I want it to be cool and hip and I don't want the frosting to taste like whip cream because I HATE WHIP CREAM! Oh, and boy like. Cool, hip, boy like." The baker chick just looked at me an nodded. "It will be ready that morning." is all she said and I left. Driving home I realized that my description is not the best and I have NO idea what I will be picking up next Saturday. I'm guessing most likely it will resemble an old mans cold hip. Nice. Happy Birthday Sawyer, your mom sucks.

Dreams: My dreams have been ALL OVER THE PLACE lately. Absolutely crazy dreams. Last night I was vacationing at a club med, but the activities were not very club med like. There was shooting and cowboy stuff and horseback riding. Just before I woke, it was my turn to shoot targets while on my horse. I don't know how to ride a horse, or shoot anything besides a water gun so this was odd. I remember walking in to get my horse and his head fell off. Everyone said that it was very common, and to hurry and put the horse's head back on and go get my ammo, everyone was waiting. I didn't want to pick up this horses heavy head and really didn't know how I was going to lift it up onto his neck considering I'm so short. I woke up slightly disturbed.

The night before that, I had a dream I was on the beach with walking, talking orca whales. Walking upright on their tales, taking pictures with all the beach goers except when it was my turn, no one knew how to use a camera. We tried several times and I never got a picture. I remember being so angry thinking, NO ONE IS GOING TO BELIEVE ME NOW!!!

Itchy: I'm a little over my itch for kids. I think that was like a week long thing that I'm totally over for right now. I can't help but think about the fourth of July camping and how I want to be able to have a drink, and the broadway shows we are going to see and how I want to be able to have a drink, and parties we have coming up and how I want to be able to have a... well, you get it. I think I need to get over drinks. But watermelon mojitos, and apple ginger martinis and mango-jalepeno margaritas?!?! OH MY!


Love you all and hope your having a great week! Watch out for cheese moths and HAVE A DRINK!

me.

Busy Busy

There was this guy who showed a lot of interest in me several years back, asked me on a date and flaked out. His message, "I'm sorry I can't make it tonight, I'm busy, busy."

Busy, busy?

I was pissed and the next time I saw him, we had a little discussion.

"Busy, busy? Seriously?! No one says busy, busy if they are busy, you just say busy. Get it? One busy. Just busy. The only people that are busy, busy are people that lie, lie. Lie, lie, see, doesn't even make sense! Lie, lie. It's like one lie cancels the other out and it's just truth but in a lie. I don't know, point is, if you don't want to go out, say it, but do not go and tell someone BUSY, BUSY! "

Him- "Uhhh."

Yeah, he never asked me on a date again.

I shouldn't of been so harsh, the only way to describe my week would be, 'busy, busy'. A few reasons why I've been bloggy absent.

So, you all know, it all started off with a bang by me getting all hormonal and girly. Gosh, I suck.

Then I decided to back up the car into a wall. Gosh, I suck because that one was totally my fault.

Oh, THEN, I get a cold. Gosh, I- well, you get it.

Piled on top of the sucky was some serious awesomeness.

Fist off, I can't believe how much Sawyer is learning! He is this little learning, doing cuite-patootie. Three words. He. Gives. Kisses!!! If you ask for a kiss, he leans in to you and gives what he thinks is a kiss. (We need to teach him to close his mouth and that open mouth is only for girlfriends that MOMMY approves of!) Last night before I put him to bed, we said goodnight to daddy. "Say goodnight and give daddy a kiss." He held Geoffs face with his left hand and leaned in to kiss daddy. My heart just melted. I'm pretty sure this kissing thing will NEVER get old!

Wednesday we bought seasons passes to what I call 'The Land of Brace Face' or what is known as 6 Flags, Elitch Gardens. We rode three awesome rollercoasters and I'm excited to be able to go whenever I feel like it. Or take Sawyer on a long walk there to check out the shows. You know, just in general pass time. I think I really like being upside-down.

Thursday, Mile High Mamas had their Mommy Blogger night out at a special viewing of Girls Only. Ladies, the show is GREAT! I cracked up the entire time and had way too much wine leaving me pretty useless yesterday.



Today, my friend flies in from California and I can't wait to see her and show off Denver.

In short a whole lot of busy busy.

I love you guys and haven't forgotten about you!

P.S.- I got this awesome tank top pictured above at Target that I'm just in love with and have worn 3 times already this week. Every girl needs one!

me

All Sorts of Random

This is going to be random, first of all, check out the kiddo!



How did he turn out so cute? We hung out at our friends the other day, had a bonfire lunch, it was awesome. Sawyer just chilled in the hammock! Love him! Later that night, realized I forgot to turn the lights off and had a dead car. Nice. Totally missed a meeting I was suppose to go to that night. Man, I suck.

BUT, sometimes I DON'T suck! Check out my newly found craft skills! These are Sawyer's invitations. I worked pretty hard on them since I have no talent in the craft department and am very proud of myself. Thought I would show them off to you. These are the best pics I could take of them.





Did you check out the ribbon detail? Holy crap, I'm amazing!

Onto other things, Ruggy and Jewels did this, so I am too.


I Am: Very Clumsy, bad with directions, a water lover, a terrible tennis player and a lot of other things, but most importantly a wife and a mommy!

I Want: more room, my husbands business to be really successful, my son to grow up happy and healthy, to eventually have a little girl and always be surrounded by good people.

I Have: the greatest husband in the whole wide world, amazing friends, an unpredictable alcohol tolerance.

I Wish: I wasn't so forgetful, that I was even half way decent with names, that girls didn't have to worry about cellulite so much, that nice people didn't get sick!

I Fear: really bad car accidents. I think about car accidents all the time. It's getting really bad. I visualize what might happen if the car in front of us did something that might send it hurdling into the air. I need to not think about this stuff, but I saw a bad car accident once and have not been the same!

I Hear: Construction going on constantly, oh and sirens and drunk people. Love downtown.

I Search: for good netflix movies my husband won't make fun of.

I Wonder: when we will get pregnant again, what Geoff looks like really old, if my kids will still love me when they are 30, if the meal is going to taste good when I'm done cooking it, how our house looks like a bomb went through 20 minutes after I've cleaned, what Sawyer is thinking, how to make a zillion dollars being a personal shopper for other peoples babies.

I Regret: a few drunk emails. Oopsie.

I Love: the way Sawyer looks at Geoff, the way Geoff looks at me and the way I feel about both of them. Also, peanut butter and chocolate together, campfires, a great mojito, laughing until someone laughs so hard, they fart.

I Always: try to get in some butt exercise somehow, even if I'm standing in line for groceries. Think about my friends that are far away. Laugh at exactly the wrong time.

I Usually: embarrass myself, tell you if you have something in your teeth, am way too relaxed about things, plan things last minute, can find anything in the house, but nothing outside of it.

I Am Not: a good baker, duh, very nice if I'm do not like you, good at cross word puzzles, high maintenance.

I Dance: only with my Jamaican friends or if I'm at Beckys.

I Sing: only songs from Musicals, with a full blown performance attached.

I Never: am wrong. Muah-ha-ha

I Rarely: take out the recycling. That is Geoff's job.

I Cry: way more than I used to, which still isn't all that often. I'm a sap now that I'm a mom. Talk about how much you love your kid and I'll tear up.

I Am Not Always: patient. I'm kind of over this thing right now.

I Need: our vacation to hurry up!!!



Peace, love and rice crispy treats!

Me