Lucky Breaks

The other night I walked toward the gym entrance expecting to teach three aerobics classes, totally exhausted, just to find it was closed. Immediately I perked up, regained energy. I love teaching classes more than anything, but I think I needed a break, and the gym being closed was just the unexpected break I needed. When I came home three hours early, Geoff laughed at me, knowing that I got ready, drove over there and taught nothing, my reply, "That made the break even more surprising and nice."

I really wanted to spend a night with my family, the first one in about a week and a half. It reminded me of another lucky break I got. A really, really lucky break...

In college, I lived in an apartment with three other girls right across from the campus. Parking was horrible, so bad, you had to get to class over an hour early to find a spot. Living walking distance was perfect. I happened to be on a huge rollerblading kick and would rollerblade into class every day. I would clonk up the stairs, roll right into my seat, take off the roller blades and start class. One day, I rolled right into my seat to find every person's head stuck in a book. In the most chipper mood, I said hi to those around me, asked about weekends, probably told some story I thought was funny to be received only by looks of surprise and annoyance.


(Two of my college roomies I got to see last week!)


"Holly!" One of my classmates said looking at me very matter of factly, "WE have our final, today. Right now, when the teacher walks in, and WHERE is your paper? I didn't see you turn it it, it's due, TODAY, the day of our final."

Me- "Huh? Oh, you guys are soooo funny, it's not until NEXT week. Relax, mine is almost done, that is actually good for me, a week ahead and all."

Them- "No, today, as in today. It's due right now, look at the pile of papers on the desk."

They were right. I thought it was odd that everyone was super studying, like they all happen to have a final in their next class, I mean, what a coincidence, right?! BUT, there were papers on his desk and considering the paper was worth about 50% of your grade, and the final the other half, this was no small paper, not a paper taken lightly, for sure not a paper turned in a week early! Panic instantly took over my body and I wasn't the happy rollerblader that rolled into class a few minutes earlier. I thought of my options, this professor isn't very nice, not understandable, and who would be. I just didn't write down the right date. I'm not prepared, and my paper isn't ready. How about next week sir? NO WAY will he go for that. Crap, all my work for this class, all the time I put into it, all the lectures I attended, the books I read were down the drain. The timeline for graduation might be off a semester because of a stupid mistake I made?!

As all the not so fun thoughts in my head were running into each other, becoming more upset, creating more worry, something happened that has not happened in all of my time here. In fact, I've never heard of this happening EVER on the campus, and heard from recent graduates, it has never happened again.

The fire alarm went off.

We waited for a minute, thinking it would stop. It never did. We all stood outside with our bags and our papers (Hell, we don't want them to burn in the fire!), waiting for word, waiting for the alarm to go off, waiting to take our test. It didn't stop for at least another half an hour or more and our professor rescheduled the final to the next week.

Everyone joked that it was me that pulled it. Obviously it was not, since they saw me in the seat in their class, clearly freaking out. I rollerbladed back home happier than I rollerbladed into class that day.


THAT was an unexpected break!

The Chase

*Wrote this while I was bored on a plane a while back and am dedicating it to the Vagina Man (Was it a he or a SHE?!) running from the cops in California this morning. I love California and I LOVE a good car chase!*


There is something missing in my life. There is a dark hole of nothingness that is bothersome. It's this absence of 'something' that is absolutely qualifying me as incomplete. This is annoying. Anyone missing something is usually annoyed. I know. I am good at this. Some would say I am a professional, but as I look around I see I have my cell phone (which is shocking really), ipod, credit card, manual, all the things I am missing on a normal day. It is 9:23am and I realize what it is, what I am missing a good car chase. At 9:24am, I know (and I say KNOW) it is not just me, but the world. The world is missing a good car chase!

You know what I'm talking about too, not one of those you see on the freeway where the driver is just waiting for a good opportunity to pull over, no, I'm talking OJ Simpson , all systems down sort of car chase! One of those car chases where families are re-united, kids aren't going to school, your calling in sick for work and though your boss knows you're not violently puking up "bad sushi", they are not mad, no! Because, they want to be home on their lazy boy too! EVERYBODY KNOWS ITS HAPPENING! EVERYONE! If you are NOT home when this is happening, you make it home, or to the nearest friends with a well-stocked kitchen, cause this car chase is not going to end anytime soon. AND! Even if you did try to go to work, by the time you turned down 'that road', and everyone has 'THAT ROAD', it would be closed, just in case the CRAZY responsible for this awesome car chase just might turn down there. Granted, you are three states away, but hell, this car chase is insane!!!

So, you don't go to work (Damn Sushi!), and you may or may not make it home, but you're somewhere watching this car chase. By now this chase has got to be getting some serious coverage, so your changing the channels looking for the news station with the best coverage, and even though they all look the same, you still wonder why the Cosby Show is still on with only a tiny news banner at the bottom of the scree. I mean, even though I love, LOVE, The Cosby Show, we have all seen the episode where Rudy is being too bossy to her little boyfriend, so back the car chase. And there it is…THERE IT IS!!!! A close up of the drive, a chick!!! A crazy B*! That's what everyone is going to call her. So, I don't like to curse, it's not my thing, but you can say it if you want. Crazy B, and, years from now, all you have to say is, remember that car chase with the crazy B??? Everyone would know. That's all that needed to be said, they would remember exactly where they were, whom they were with. As your watching it, you can't help but ask, "Where she gunna go?" You ask your buddy like they can see into the future. Crazy B is speeding down the road, people are now outside their homes waving up to the helicopters hoping to get one second of birds eye view fame, all major freeways are being closed for traffic entering and you can't help yourself, staring at the T.V., watching crazy B, "Where she gunna go?"

Oh, and this case it's in L.A., because that's where I live, so of course that makes it more interesting for me, and there are more options in Los Angeles. (I feel.) And if this were me, if I was the one in the chase, BEING chased, I would have signs. I would totally have signs. I would make my partner in crime; yes, I would have a crime partner hold up the signs to the windows for these telegraphic cameras. The signs would ask, "Where she gunna go?" Oooh, and I would be driving in my friend's car, cause she has a sunroof, and my crime friend would then launch a kite through the sunroof! A kite! Yeah, it would have some sort of Disney character on it, or something, cause that feels ironic, and sign holding gets boring, so here comes the kite! I'm all concentrated on the roads, thinking of all the ways I'm going to trick the Cops and keep the masses at home entertained, and what a better way to kill two birds with one stone by being responsable for a kite flying, fleeing car chase?!?!

I guess I would have to plan this out ahead of time, you know because I have signs and kites and a friend involved. So, I would have to be super tricky. I would be all up in Griffith Park and everyone would think it's over, "It's all over from here" they would say, because really, "where she gunna go?" BUT NO, I would have a secret route all planned out ahead of time, with all my plans and all of a sudden make a crazy turn, and be on the move. You are cheering silently at home because it's better than a large budget action, the story climaxes, the kite if flying high (Hopefully not being snagged by one of those Griffith Park trees, but that's just details.) and the car chase continues, and the police are all left on the sides of the road at Griffith, and the people at home are thinking, "Wow! I could have been there! I mean, I have been there once before, I could have been there today! I could have been killed!" So those people are all worked up, now referring to this day, not only as the day of the car chase with the crazy B, but also as they day they almost died. There is a statement from one of the officers, close up and all, "Sometimes these things are hard, we just don't ever know where she is going to go." Everyone at home nods their head along like you were all there or something, chasing me or with me being chased. Monetary bets are being made as to how much longer the kite string is going to hold out, but if it does break, we have more signs You, in Pasadena, or wherever you are at hopes secretly that I will make a car chasing appearance near your home, and I just might, really, I might, because nobody knows, where she's gunna go?!

Proof I Didn't Need Another Glass of Wine. Memories!

It's amazing all the things you miss when you aren't able to stay up much past 8 p.m. It's amazing what you miss when you no longer close the bars down, or when you no longer travel from city to city hanging with the locals who are always bringing you to places hoping to make you think that where they live is indeed the BEST place to live EVER. I'm going though an old notebook trying to find where I wrote all my fun aerobic combinations, instead I'm finding old stories, old letters. Here are a few adventures I'm re-living as I'm going through that notebook.

Flashing Kilt wearing men in Ottawa asking if my boyfriends have ever measured up to them. (Owwww, my EYES!)

Walking into the hotel in San Francisco to be greeted with a huge Kublicon convention and all their game addict glory and then dragging our angry friend to see it too. "Power to the Kublicon!"

Kids in The Bronx playing a little game called "You got a PROBLEM?!?!". It's like freeze tag except a lot of yelling is involved. Only in New York.

Replacing water with real Vodka in my friend Jill's Vodka bottle before she went out and performed her part (Lola, she was a showgirl!) in the club med show.

Preparing to go on a horrible double date with guys that were way too into us and dressing as bad as possible, realizing that your outfit really doesn't matter!

Sitting out in the sun for over an hour just to satisfy our curiosity as to why there was a huge water tank in the middle of the Taste of Chicago. We were rewarded with the worst mermaid show in history and a sun burn.

Fake stealing from a friend in front of strangers just to see the look on their face and if they were honest enough to stop me.

Falling off stage while trying to complete a turn like my boss did and the only thing people could say was, I'm glad she didn't knock over the beer. Thanks people, I see where your priorities are!

Lighting my hand on fire while grabbing one of the shots on fire, (I'm drunk, don't light my drinks up!) and waving it around like it was the new sparkler in town.


I've had some good times, oh yes (closing my eyes), some really good times!

P.S. No harm to the hand in the writing of this blog.

Going Old School

Several years back I was Hell Bent on writing a book. I thought my life was interesting enough for people to not only want to read, but to invest money in and then read. I guess I really love myself! Seriously, wanna buy my book?! Anyway, I came across a few of my notebooks and actually made myself giggle. Maybe it's because anything in the past about yourself makes a person laugh like, what in the world was I thinking?! So, thought I would post a few things from my "book". See, funny already huh??? Here goes nothin'

-Written while living with Victoria and Kari (Also known as Psycho) in Chicago, trying to get my mind off the storm-

My roommate Victoria calls me the goldfish. She says it because I am distracted by shiny things. Not that it's the shininess of the 'thing' that distracts me, as it is just the things in general. I'm trying to tell a story and a song I like comes on over the radio. The story is then replaced by me lip singing but not the quiet kind, but the kind where it's not silent at all, rather it's me thinking I can sing the song better than so and so, so I sing louder to prove how awesome of a vocalist I am. Well, after coaching gymnastics and teaching aerobics since I was 18 my vocal cords are pretty much shot. OR, as a friend says, they sound clumsy. He's a vocal coach, so what does he know?! Point is, I get distracted, which reminds me, I HATE THUNDER! Well, I hate several things, bananas, flaky coconut, stomach aches, animal hair, ugly things, traffic in California and THIS thunder storm.

I need to call Victoria.

She answers, "What's up?"

"Well, thunder can't do anything to you right? Well, it's like third grade science, I KNOW it can't, but it can't like touch you or hurt you cause this crap is scary! It's like whole towns are blowing up and it's getting closer, like the thunder is chasing after me and not going to stop till it wins, and most things don't scare me but, AHHH, RIGHT THERE! Did you hear that?!?! I'm afraid the windows will shatter any second!"

Victoria explains thunder, the charged air, the reason for lightning and blah, blah, blah. I see it starts to rain which I also don't like becuase I WAS going to go running and now with this torrential downpour and the sounds of World War III, I can't step outside, I'm not even safe INSIDE! The thunder with my sort of luck will GET me. It will be the first time in history, I can see it now in the papers, Scientific Mystery! Thunder Kills Female, 24 years old. Friends say she led a charmed life. Well, they better say something nice. I interupt Victoria,

"Hey V, if I die, you have to say something good, like I was the funniest person you knew, OH, and pictures, don't choose one of those I'm having a fat day/month/year picutures, well, hey, I'll choose the pictures for you!"

"UH, WHAT?"

"Well, just in case, you know, with this whole thunder thing and all. Anyway, good talking to you, got to go."

I hang up the phone and am now sorting through old pictures.

Ski Bunny Through and Through!

My husband skis, I do not... I mean, I did, I mean I DO! Uhhh, I kind of do. Umm, I grew up skiing just haven't done it in forever so I thought it was in my best interest to schedule myself some lessons. I start Saturday. I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm... uhhhh, I'm going to rock it!

In honor of my first lesson in THIS century, I thought I would post some pictures of my last few trips skiing. Damn I'm good...



Just heading out the door...






You can't tell here, but this was pretty much a black diamond mountain...





Pizza anyone?





Notice how I'm in the FRONT of my class, AKA- the LEADER, AKA- the BEST in my class!





Before digital cameras preview screen to see you blinked...





AND, my last time on the slopes...




See, it wasn't THAT long ago... I've got skiing in the bag! Watch out Breck, here I come!!!