Old Chicks are No Joke!

I have a friend that works for a shelter in Colorado and invited me to this HUGE community garage sale thing.

I've never been to one.

I've never been to THIS one.  I've been meaning to hit up some garage sales because I have a few things in mind that I would like.

I want a vintage sled.  The wood slat kind.

I want vintage looking suitcases.

I want a vintage wagon.

Most of them for photography props so when I heard about this huge sale close to where I live, I was all in.

I invited friends.  I put cash in my wallet (This is RARE my friends, very rare!), lifted the double stroller into the trunk... and set off.

I arrived right after the public opening and saw a woman walk out with the cutest child rocker I have EVER seen.

She paid $20 to get in early.  People mean business.

I was excited.  I was fist pumping like a Jersey Shore member.  I was going to score sweet goods and not break the bank.  I was going to be a garage sale hero.

Then I got inside.  The stroller wouldn't fit down the isles.  I got hit with someone's cane.  I got dirty looks and was for sure the youngest adult there.

Then I got the real sass, "I can't BELIEVE you brought your kids!"  She looked back and me and grunted in disgust, "Can you even FIT down any of the isles?!"

Uhhhh.

And just as she was about to walk away she added, "I don't even have any WORDS!"

She must have been in her mid-eighties.

And clearly she had words.

It was like retirement home meets Mean Girls and I was the joke.

Next time I'm leaving the stroller and bringing a cane.

Confession

Sometimes I vacuum so I can't hear my kids whine.

On My Honor

I feel like I've had a string of bad luck with sucky people lately.

Mean people.

Selfish and controlling and immature people.

Where's the love?

If you start a conversation off with, "I don't mean to be a -insert B word or A word here- but..."
Then CHANGE what  you were going to say

 or don't say anything at all.

Since I've pursued photography more, I've run into some rude-ish photographers.  And it's funny because so many people in customer service complain about the costumers/clients but I've had nothing but amazing experiences with my clients.   I LOVE my clients.

What I have an issue with is other people complaining and not building each other up.

So I wanted to let everyone know,

On my honor, I will try-

To be nice.  To never start a conversation off with "I don't meant to be a B-word but...".  To encourage others.  To make others feel the best I can.  To be honest and never fake.  To not complain that it's a saturated market and put every other photographer down so I get the business.  To teach what I know.  To learn what I don't.  To refer other photographers to a potential client when I know I'm not the best fit.  To shake hands and give hugs.  To smile. To give back.

Because the world can be nice.

Because we make up the world.

Halloween Inspiration

I switched over to the new blogger and have been scared away ever since. How do I work this thing???

 Over it and moving on.

 Two years ago, I was pregnant with Charlotte, super lazy and had no Halloween costume for Sawyer. Bad mommy. One year ago I knew he had to be something so I grabbed a lion costume at Target while walking by. No long thought process, no pressure. THIS year I want something cute, vintagey, original, handmade. And I can't find a thing. Any suggestions? This is probably the last year I can override him.

 I've been on an Etsy hunt since a few weeks ago. There are some cute infant costumes. Adorable girl costumes and almost zero boy costumes. Does dressing boys cute EVER get easy?!?! Since I've been scouring Etsy, I figured I would post some of my favorite costumes making YOUR job as mommy or daddy WAY easier. (You can thank me in paypal donations...)



  Sack of Taters!!! I don't think an infant costume gets much cuter. Can someone PLEASE buy this?!?!

(Image from link above) 

 Does Alice in Wonderland EVER get old? How about this adorable Drink Me costume???

(Image from link above)

 I know pirate costumes have been all the rage in the last five years or so but this one is too cute to keep out!

(Image from link above)

 I'm a bit... okay, A LOT in love with the shop that makes these aprons. She makes apron costumes for toddler, kids and adults. They also have this retro vibe that I love. I want like all her stuff! Check out her Little Red Riding Hood costume:

(Image from link above) 

 But winner winner, chicken dinner may be this super hero costume. The only thing holding me back is how much it costs. I mean, it's on par with the cost of all the cute costumes on etsy but I wanted to cap the cost at $25 per child. This costume is pulling me in though... the attraction is too strong... help!!!!

(Image from link above) 

Do you see my problem besides wanting to spend a zillion dollars on a one day outfit? There isn't anything here for Sawyer. I need your IDEAS or he'll end up in a Gap shirt and jeans like two years ago. Don't make me look bad...

The Random

It was Christmas morning several years back. I was working as a flight attendant at the time and woke up with a serious eye ache. I mean, SERIOUS. It hurt to be closed, it hurt to be open and WHEN it was open it just poured out tears. I guess I scratched my eyeball. I was totally fine working on Christmas day but it didn't look like that from a passenger's point of view. Tears fell as I handed out water without ice, Pepsi with extra ice and maybe even the can because they asked for it and hell, it was Christmas. Merry Christmas. Tear.

As I pushed my face into the pillow, it's no surprise I've scratched my eye while sleeping several times since that Christmas. I practically SMASH my eye into the pillow like my eye is being interrogated and I will cut off all oxygen until it does what I ask... which issssss- I'm not really sure. Stupid eye.

But it's always the moments my eye is encased in pillow when I think my way into dreamland the quickest. I've had a lot going on in the past few weeks and with all this thinking I haven't been blogging and I owe you guys.

Like the bear story? Hello?! You all wanted to hear the ending and I've been holding out... mostly because the end isn't that interesting. We opened the garage doors, made a lot of noise and after the bear jumped up and down on our jeep a few times, he just waddled his way on out. (I'm sorry bear if you are a girl!) We didn't think he broke anything but he did. JERK! Our automatic garage door is officially broken. Sad face. I have to open the door manually now. Who does that?!?! What year am I living in anyway? In most seriousness, I am terrified when I come home late and I know I can be opening the garage door to a black bear. I hear they are afraid of noise so when I open the car door and walk toward the garage door, I make yelping noises. No joke. I should be secretly video-taped. You guys would love it.

For about a week straight animal control was up here every night with spotlights. Geoff finally called them and they said they were looking for the bear. I'm not sure if they found him and if they did, what they did with them. Our house was like the fifth the bear broke into and I can only think it's because someone fed him. Don't feed wildlife, it really, in all actuality, eventually, cat get them killed.

My photography business had been BUSY! I'm totally surprised and totally happy! Since I've opened I've been thinking about this blog. All good photog pages have a blog. I have this one. Sometimes I say the F-word and sometimes I say vagina. Like now, VAGINA. Or now, vagina. You have to swat my vagina words away like flies over here! There is no way I can do all that I'm doing and keep up with two blogs. I love you guys. And I like saying vagina. My friend says that I shouldn't link this blog up to my photo page because F-words and anatomy words aren't the best form of advertising. What do you guys think?

Geoff's birthday is coming up. Every other birthday, he gets a positive pregnancy test as his present. Can you guess what he wants this year? Can you guess what he isn't getting? It starts with a 'V'...


Love you guys more than all the F words in the world!

me.

Say what?!

After watching me change Charlotte's diaper Sawyer says, "MOM! Oh no! Charlotte has a BUTT on her penis!"


Ummm, sort of?

In Bidness

I've had several people asking for photoshoots and after a pep talk from a friend in the photography business, I took a dive in.

Check it!

Strebel Photography DOT Com! YEAH!

No Ordinary Jamboree

So there I was, sitting right where I wasn't suppose to be on Friday night.

And there HE was, sitting where he wasn't suppose to be Friday night.

Thank God we were home when we were suppose to be elsewhere. Thank God the sitter wasn't here alone with the kids.

It was 11 pm, an hour I normally sleep. I was looking through etsy-damn etsy and its distracting ways- when I heard a rumble sort of noise and wondered WHAT THE HELL Geoff was doing in the garage.

Rumble, boom. BOOM!!!!!

Does he seriously need to be working in the garage this late when the kids are in bed?

CRASH! BOOM!

I take my eyes off of this cute knit hat with super long ear flaps and fuzzy soft looking yarn that would look so cute on a newborn when I notice Geoff is in his office ACROSS the house from the garage. As in NOT in the garage. As in, NOT making the noise.

"Geoff?" I timidly ask as I walk toward the laundry room. The noise is loud, getting louder. Something in our garage is bigger than a breadbox and I don't want to play 20 questions to find out what that "something" is.

"Geoff, seriously, GET OVER HERE! Something is in our garage!"

Used to my overreactions when seeing something as small as a mouse run across the road, he doesn't move.

The noise got louder.

"Geoff, get over here! Meaning NOW!!!!!!!!!"

He walks over, the noise gets louder, I yell "BRING YOUR GUN!!!!!!!"

Hearing "gun" he walks a little faster, hears the commotion and then runs toward his gun.

Meanwhile I lock the door and push my weight against it, because you know, I'm hardcore like that.

Geoff returns with his gun in hand and I can tell he's nervous. This is no ordinary 'bird got trapped in our garage' noise.

He opens the door slowly, gun leading the way.

And there it was, a black bear sitting on the hood of our jeep like he is always there on a Friday night and what the hell is our problem?

And after 29 years of my life wanting to see a bear, can you guess where my camera was?

In the car. In the garage. With the bear.

True story.

Photoshop is my Bit@h

I'm shooting a wedding on Friday (First one, yay!) and hosting a baby shower on Sunday so I've been a wee bit, uhhh, busy?

Of course I have all my usual mom stuff like cleaning and butt wiping and you know.

So when I started looking at what we are going to do for the shower, I wasn't sure how much I believed in myself in terms of designing all the party decor. The theme is "Picnic" but more so watermelon picnic. The inspiration came from Hostess with the Mostess. (Are you as addicted to this site as I am? People take their parties VERY seriously these days!) But when I focused on the picnic part of the party, the decor was kind of lamo and there WASN'T any of that general picnic looking stuff at the stores but when my friend brought up this party, I think it was the watermelon part of the picnic she liked so now I'm focusing on watermelon for decor?

Anyway, as I got down to business I thought, I am OVER my head with this design stuff. For serious.

I emailed Melissa (The girl that did my lemonade party stuff.) and told her I would pay her, PLEASE HELP but her sister in law had to go and have babies yesterday with NO regard toward my feelings. Pfft. So I sat down with photoshop and we had a talk. We bonded a bit. After an hour I figured out one problem that has been annoying the hell out of me since I installed photoshop. Soon we were like BUDS, we were like, happy hour going, get caught singing in the shower without being embarrassed, riding on each other's back and slapping each other on the a$$ sort of friends.

And here is a preview of our long life together

and the party too I guess.








If you have any awesome watermelon baby shower ideas, let me know, I have until Sunday! Love you guys more than rice crispy treats!- holly

Wild Thing

One of these kids is NOT Sawyer...

We had a rough morning over here.  To cheer me up, I bribed, errrr, TALKED Sawyer into doing a mini photoshoot. I LOVE mini photoshoots fueled by chocolate.

Vintage Inspired Jewelry Giveaway!- Closed

WINNER- Blue Violet. I sent you an email, you have 48 hours to respond. Thanks everyone!


Confession: I've been a little addicted to jewelry lately.

Actually, not just a little, it's a problem. It started with a little Stella and Dot obsession after winning a giveaway. Then I bought the Petra bracelet. Check it out. It's ROCKIN'!

Then Geoff bought me this super cool gold and silver chainish type necklace on vacation. And I ADORE it. And wear it everywhere.

So, you see how my husband fed my obsession a bit? SEE THAT?!

Then I started looking at Etsy shops and found Pinking-Edge Designs. At first I clicked on a few pictures, then I started drooling a bit. Then might have stalked her shop. Shhh, don't tell. I'll stop talking and let the pictures speak:

Lockets! LOVE lockets! This piece is one of my favs!

Or this Flowers and Friends necklace. I die!

I have a soft spot for pearls and flowers:

But not only is this stuff totally cute with a cool vintage vibe, it's also reasonable! Almost everything in her shop is under $30. Do you see why I was stalking her store like a crazy person? After a few love notes to her shop, Kay said that she wanted to give one of my readers something $30 or under.  AND, it's totally your pick! So you can go stalk her shop with me! Yay!



RULES:

MANDATORY
Go to Kay's shop Pinking-Edge Designs and tell me what your favorite piece is in a comment below. Please include an email address.

EXTRA ENTRIES (Please leave a separate comment on this post for each entry you completed below.)

1. Follow my blog via Google Friend Connect
2. Post on your facebook page
3. Like this post
4. Post this giveaway on twitter (Up to once a day.)

Giveaway closes midnight Sunday night August 21st. Winner will be contacted by email and has 48 hours to respond. Thank you and happy winning!

Kisses

Me to Sawyer, "Sawyer, kiss Charlotte Goodnight."

Sawyer after kissing Charlotte goodnight, "Charlotte, now kiss me on my BUTT!"

Nice Sawyer, real nice.

Operation Selfish

My friend Melissa wrote me asking if it was cool if she designed a blog head thingy.

I mentioned her before, she DESIGNED all the decorations for the Lemonade Stand Party. And I swear every time she emails me I find out some incredible talent so I'm going to get her to quit her job and do the stuff that she LOVES doing and get paid for it.

So, seriously, if you want the most awesome-est birthday banners, invites, menus EVER, get in touch with her. (She has no idea that I'm writing this and forcing her into business so DON'T tell her I sent you! K?)

But that isn't why I'm writing, I'm writing because I was looking for a picture of me and the kids for the banner and guess what?

That picture doesn't exist. Seriously. Okay, I think I have TWO, one of which I took on my mac and got deleted when my hard drive crashed and the other I took OF MYSELF with my iphone when Charlotte was two days old... and lets face it, I'm not pretty after labor.

I have a BAZILLION of Geoff and the kids so now I'm getting sad and ask him to take pictures of me sometimes too because I'm their mom and if someone digs up our city in a bunch of years and finds pictures, I want MY FACE to be connected with MY KIDS. And that crap happens you know, we dig up cities and look at faces carved in stone and, well, put two and two together. So can't a mom have a picture with her kids? So he got all defensive and says he has to be TOLD to take a picture where I want him to just think we look cute and take our damn picture.

Soooo, I think I'm going to try to take a picture of my own freakin' self every day for a week. I was going to say a month but we all know I'm not that motivated right? My goal is to have ONE decent picture of ME and my two babies before they are eighteen.

Because we all know I'm not getting any cuter here.

BVI Charter Sail Trip Part 1: The Conch Penis

conch: 1. A tropical marine mollusk (Strombus and other genera, family Strombidae) with a spiral shell that may bear long projections and have a flared lip. (freedictionary.com)

Basically an edible snail that lives in the sea. All snails are hermaphrodites and the conch is no exception. When the conch is a dude, it shimmies his penis out of his shell, around and into the female conch shell then proceeds to give her his conch juice. Because the penis has to travel a LONG distance, they have HUGE man parts! HUGE! I've seen them before. Sometimes other sea life will feast on the conch penis while he is trying to get lucky but it's no thang cause that sucker can grow back. No joke.

Strange that I know so much about conch (Thanks to a conch tour in Turks and Caicos.) but stranger that I will throw down conch fritters like no one while armed with such info.

Two years ago we chartered a catamaran in the Virgin Islands and it was an AMAZING trip. You can read the super details while I pretend to write for a travel magazine in part 1, part 2, and part 3. This year we went without our kids. Leaving our kids behind was as awesome as it was not. Every couple including us had kids that were left with their Grandma. Before this trip, I couldn't WAIT for a vacation with JUST my husband; we called it our "Finally Honeymoon" but while there without our babies waking us up with cuddles and kisses, it was hard to bear. It wasn't 24 hours before we talked birth stories and vaginal tears with each other so we filled drinks for our empty hands to hold and dared each other to jump naked off the boat daily to keep our minds off the kids we left behind.

"Finally Honeymoon" soon became "Tour de Conch Fritters" because I can't get enough of those hermy sea snails. Now that we are back and I've gone 24 hours without said fritters, I'm getting shaky. Conch is no joke.

I like them mashed to hell, rolled in a bunch of stuff and FRIED. We ate them at every stop. Geoff asked our second to last night if we HAD to have conch fritters, wasn't I tired of them? I refrained from explaining that conch is a natural aphrodisiacs and HE should be the THANKING me but then knew he might expect some place to put his man parts that night... if you know what I mean.

And thanks to those damn conch fritters and countless rum drinks, I gained eight pounds in ten days.

While squeezing my fat A$$ in a thong, SPF 50, a hat and a shirt on almost at all times, I still couldn't escape the intense Caribbean sun and currently look like a New Jersey Shore cast member.

Snooki would be proud.

It's a good thing our boat crew totally rocked and was more than willing to put up with my drunk reenactments of popular Broadway musicals. As my new "J-Friend" would say, "Bless their hearts."

Will post more later this week about the trip and my new favorite place, Cow Wreck Beach. Love you all and I'm happy to be back!!!

Getting my Jib ON!

We are at it again. Just a teaser before we strike it big, buy a boat, homeschool the kids and get a boob job.

Kidding... about the homeschool part.

Okay and the boob job, geeze, way to call me out like that!

Grandma flies in Wednesday and Geoff and I fly out Thursday. Ten days in the Virgin Islands without my babies. It makes me tear up thinking about leaving them but I've got a thong to rock, we're going to look so European.

And check out our sweet ride:


I love you all more than Smores while camping.

See you in the nextish week!

Thank You Card Etiquette???

If you know me, you'll know I'm WEIRD when it comes to presents. I feel weird getting them, like I don't deserve them and I'm even WEIRDER when I give presents. I love to give things to others but often stress so much about it for so long in advance that I end up with nothing... or something REALLY bad. I'm TERRIBLE. (Evidence here.)

Sooooo when it came to planning Sawyer and Charlotte's birthday I thought pretty hard about the whole gift thing in advance. We live up in the mountains, gas is expensive and I'm am just sooo happy for someone to show their love for us by simply showing up. We don't need presents. Then I remember when I was younger and had a birthday party. I loved seeing my friends, I loved the cake, I loved the party and, well, I loved the presents. It didn't matter what it was, you could of wrapped up an old pair of shorts and I was happy unwrapping something. Friends were not higher on my list if they had a better present than someone else. I liked the shiny paper and it was just another FUN thing to add to birthday festivities. I decided that I wasn't going to not allow presents but we would also open up presents after the party so no one felt weird if they didn't bring a present or if one present wasn't as great as another. Again, I'm soooo weird when giving gifts and I really DON'T expect them but I also don't want to take that part away from my son and daughter.

Decision made, we allow gifts but don't open them at the party.

Now I'm faced with another challenge, the gifts with no name.

When Charlotte was born, a friend sent me the most adorable outfit. I LOVE it!!! The outfit included the cutest tutu skirt and I have taken many pictures of Charlotte dressed in the cuteness. I asked this friend for her address several times and have not heard back. To this day, I have nightmares about her hating me because I didn't send her a thank you card.

So here we are today, I'm sending out the thank you cards and wonder what to do with the gifts that did not have a name attached. I don't want to ask, "Hey did you give us this?" because if they didn't give us anything I don't want them to feel strange about it. Again, I still think it's sooooo freakin' amazing that they came and THAT in itself is the best present you can give us but I also want to show my gratitude toward the nameless gifts.

What do you guys think? what would you guys do?

On another note, if you were the person that gave a gift but didn't get a thank you, do you mention it to the person? Example: Three weddings in a row, we didn't get thank you cards for our gifts. I don't EXPECT a card but the gifts were ordered online and I just want to make sure the couples received the gift but don't want them to feel like I'm implying anything by asking so. Make sense?

So yeah, see why I'm all weird when it comes to gift giving? You can seriously insult someone just because you were trying to be grateful. Ahhhhh! Give me your advice!

Dear Sawyer- THREE Years Old!

Since the weather has warmed up and you and your sister are just CRAZY if locked up inside all day, we drive down to Golden almost every day. The routine is, walk Olde Town, jog up 6 Ave, and finish at the park where you two play before heading home for lunch and nap time. You LOVE the park. You aren't in preschool yet and some wonder if that in some way will contribute you to being shy, not being a people person but that is far from the truth. You spot new kids and make friends immediately. Almost everyone loves you. I sit on the sides and watch you and your new friends play chase, race up stairs, fly down slides and more. It's adorable. Yesterday however was different, there weren't too many kids at the park so you spotted an oder boy and decided to befriend him. I always made it a big deal to teach you to be nice, share, invite others to play, not hit, and always say goodbye to our new friends. It's not that those rules ALWAYS works and I GET a kid having a cranky day but honestly, I wanted to hit this kid you tried to play with. He played with you but only to make fun of you to his other friend. You are still young and too sweet to understand that kids can be intentionally mean. You continued to chase him and tried to laugh at his jokes but the joke was on you. This little punk would run up to the top of the play structure, narrate your actions in a really annoying voice and then send his little friend over to you to play punch you. I wanted to REAL punch him. When we left, you made it a BIG deal to go say goodbye because THAT IS WHAT WE DO. He ignored you and continued to make fun of you to his friend. All I could say is that it was really sad that at his age, he acted so little and couldn't be kind enough to say goodbye while holding back the urge to slap him.

I can't slap everyone that hurts you but MAN would I like to! Of course I'm your mom and I should feel protective, shower you with the love you deserve but so many others feel the same way toward you. Sawyer, you are LOVED! You have so many friends for a three year old and so many adults that consider you family not to mention FAMILY that loves you more than we could ever explain. I know you will experience heart break and disappointment but through it all I wish more than anything that you remember all the people that truly love you, a love that is so big it hurts. I hope you remember that there is someone to share that hurt with, you are NEVER alone. The sad part is not this kid making fun of you but knowing one day you will GET it. It will HURT you and that hurts me.

This year you became a BIG BROTHER! Such a huge event! You have a title now, a JOB and you fill it out so well. Your sister is the apple of your eye. You wake me up when she cries because, how can we POSSIBLY let her cry for a full minute. You run into her room yelling, "BROTHER IS HERE!" so proud to be there for her, so happy to save her from her crib. You like to teach her things, and when you find a word you think is easy enough for her, you'll repeat it to her until she copies you. You find her toys, sit her up, pull her to another area that might be more fun, feed her "baby food", wipe her face, bring her diapers, etc. You are an AMAZING big brother! I'm not going to lie, having two kids now is EXHAUSTING, you two take every bit of energy I have to offer and then some. Every single day I clean and minutes later, my work is destroyed. EVERY DAY it looks like a helicopter took off out of our living room. Sometimes you guys just cry or scream, you ALWAYS need meals at the same time, wake up before 6am, don't want to go to bed before 8pm, need to be entertained EVERY SECOND. Every minute of my day is making sure you two SURVIVE. The other day I asked you what makes you happy; I expected the usual things you talk about: trains, trucks, boats, tractors or horses. You looked up at me and answered, "Charlotte". Tear. Every second of my day, exhausted or not, is worth it, I'm the LUCKY one, you two make ME happy.

Since you were born, you've been a mama's boy. You need cuddles and kisses from me every time you wake up or you can NOT function. Secretly, I LOVE this and soak up every second of cuddles I can get. This last year though, you've really warmed up to Daddy. You are "big like daddy" and "strong like daddy" and my favorite, "handsome like daddY". You want to fish with daddy, ride tractors with daddy, go to work with daddy. I think you see yourself on a path to become like daddy and I love it. It's so rewarding to see you love your dad enough to want to be like him. I'm sure your vision of us will change many times throughout your life but right now, we'll take this one!

Three is such a different age. I'm not sure what "terrible twos" are about because three is MUCH harder so far. It's not like you are BAD, you just know what you want, what you do NOT want and you are smart enough to manipulate us into getting your way. The other day you let yourself out of time out, hugged me and said you were sorry for hitting. It was adorable. I turned you back around, sent you to your room and said you are NOT to come out unless I LET you out. You bawled. Inside I was melting, your action was adorable, the expression on your face was priceless, you were so sweet in your apology but I KNEW if I fell for it, you would no longer stay in time-out because I let you get out on your own. I have to dig down for a strength I've never had in order to turn away your sweet apologies and loving hugs because YOU are figuring out just what you can get away with. You are learning our weaknesses and playing on them. You are honing your survival or "get out of time-out" skills and we can't just keep up, we have to stay ahead of you and it's HARD, it's trying. You can reason and if I have to explain something to you, it better be an explanation that will last. No longer can I say yes to one thing one minute and no to it an hour later because you REMEMBER. You are putting together the puzzle that is YOUR world and OUR rules and as parents, we have to make sure the world we create for you has puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly and if we don't make those puzzle pieces fit, you find the loophole and get yourself right out.

Though you are smart enough for manipulation you are also smart enough to be funny. REALLY FUNNY! You are hilarious! I love the things you say. You understand that daddy goes to work to make money so we and pay for certain things so in your head, he goes to work just so we can buy chips and now you want a job so you can make money and buy all the chips you want! It's hilarious! I'm all for that job by the way, raising kids is NOT cheap! Get to it kid!

Fun Stuff:
-You know every letter of the alphabet and what those letters "say".
-You skied with daddy this year and he said you did AMAZING!
-You LOVE your Boppa (Grandma) and Grandpa and ask for them daily.
-You like to help me cook.
-You are a BOY, you love getting dirty and would rather play tractors in the sand than splash in water.
-You think Skype was invented just for you and how could you not? The only people that that Skype us want to talk to YOU!
-You are getting closer and closer to being potty trained though you aren't a fan of pooping in the toilet.
-You have balance down when riding your balance bike and LOVE going fast.

Every single night, I tuck you in, walk out of the room and yell, "I love YOU Sawyer!" You return with, "I love YOU Mama!" We do this several times getting louder and louder with each proclamation of love. You are three now, next year four and soon fourteen but I will never stop yelling, "I love YOU Sawyer!"

Happy third birthday to our boy-o!

I Blame Mrs. Green and Stephanie

That's right. I'm calling out names. LIKE real names. Not even making them up. Changing them for the innocent.

Because this is serious. A very serious subject matter and while I'm at it, feel free to include the names of any other cheerleading coach and captain you have ever known!

HEAR THAT?!?!

And before you get all crazy on me like "Don't start a rant on cheerleaders, we are ATHLETES damn it!" sort of crazy, let me just say, I WAS A CHEERLEADER TOO!

Okay, panties out of a knot? I love you guys! Cheerleading rocks

sometimes.

But not 12 years later.

I mean FOUR years later, think I'm old or something?

Let me also say that Mrs. Green and Stephanie were both awesome. Mrs. Green was my junior high cheer coach and taught me rhythm (though Geoff would argue otherwise) and Stephanie, well, actually I have another bone to pick with Stephanie.

There is this thing called a twist cradle. Sounds fun huh? Actually it was DEATH! It was terrible. I was the girl that would be on top of the pyramid or "flyer" in the cheer world and the big thing then was TWIST cradles. I'm sure cheerleading has changed a ton but if you weren't twisting like a crazy person down from your stunt, you weren't going to win your competitions. We liked to win so they would make me twist. I would stand on top of a few hands all high in the air with nothing but hard gym floor below me. Yeah, we didn't have a budget for mats and frankly the wrestling mats freaked us out; we were sure we were going to get ringworm from the wrestling room so instead of ringworm, we gambled on broken bones. YAY us, we were so smart! So yeah, there I am standing on a few hands high in the air and Stephanie would yell, "TWIST! 1-2" and right after two, I should be spiraling down from the stunt into their arms.

Don't even say this sounds easy. I would rather back flip into a rattlesnake pit than twist cradle! I would cry! Tears would stream down my eyes as they yelled, "HOLLY! TWIST!!! 1 2..."

See, aren't you mad at Stephanie already? I'm like building my case and all because I'm legal and professional.

Besides making me cry and trying to knock me off by making me twist to my death on hard floors, she would make us smile.

Stephanie AND Mrs. Green would make us smile.

"Smile! Okay, do this one while SMILING! Don't forget to smile! Smile at the judges! Smile during games! Smile at the crowd! Smile at all times!!!"

"Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile! SMILE! SMILE! SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So we smiled until our cheeks hurt. We smiled through the pain! We smiled through the fear. We smiled because we HAD to.

And now at almost 30 years old I have the deepest set of laugh lines you have ever seen.

And can you guess who I blame for these?

Dear Cheerleaders: Don't smile.

Use that botox fund for something else. You're welcome.

Major Life Decision: Cursing

I'm not one to curse. In college, people would seriously offer me $5.00 to say the F-word. I just don't FEEL it. It just isn't natural. I don't care and am in no way offended when others throw the F-bomb around but it just isn't my style...

Until recently.

I feel like I have SOOOO much going on. I'm soooo busy and maybe a little stressed that when the smallest thing goes wrong turning a five minute task into a two hour job, I just want to SCREAM

the F-word.

So, should I take up cursing?

Example-

Yesterday Charlotte choked on a piece of banana and it freaked her out enough to cry for an hour straight. Her crying got Sawyer crying. I had two screaming kids. I gave them a bath to stop the screaming and Charlotte pooped in hers. I pulled her baby bath full of water and poop out of the big bath Sawyer was in and got her dressed. While in Charlotte's room, Sawyer filled Charlotte's bath that is now sitting on the bathroom floor up with water until it overflowed and poop filled water was all over the bathroom. Pulled Sawyer out, he cried for an hour until he found his blanket while I scrubbed every inch of that bathroom until it was all shit (oops, see, there it is!) free again.

We had to be in Denver for a doctor's appointment at noon so I packed up the kids, drove down the canyon, threw them in the double jogger and went for a run.

Because if anything was going to fix my morning, it was a nice run.

And now it's time for a letter:

Dear Cyclists-

I was jogging, pushing both my kids in a double stroller up hills on the widest path I've ever seen. You two were the second set of people to pass me in the 30 minutes I've been running at that point (And end up being the last people to pass me on that hour run). THE PATH WAS NOT BUSY. THE PATH IS VERY WIDE. I stayed to the right so anyone faster than me could pass me with no problems. Running is my release. It makes me happy, it makes me healthy, it gives me a little break from being a mommy and if I want my fucking music turned up, I can turn my fucking music up.

The wind was against us. I couldn't hear you very well while you were right next to me screaming without ANY music on so you think I could hear you when you were BEHIND me yelling into the wind. No chance. And, though none of your damn business, my music WASN'T very loud because I like to be able to hear my kids in case one started crying!

So don't you fucking tell me to run without music so I can hear you better. You had plenty of room to pass me, you were yelling into the wind on this super wide, non-busy path.

Next time to clear up the road, I'll sit on my ass all day, get fatter by the minute and let YOU pay my medical bills.

Because God forbid I turn my shitty morning around on a healthy run.

Fuckers.


So, yeah, I think I'm going to take up cursing. Thoughts?

Sawyer and Charlotte's Lemonade Stand Birthday Party

First I have to say I LOVE this party! It came out adorable and I'm so thankful for everyone that helped me pull this off.

Last year I was way too exhausted, busy, and lazy to give Sawyer a party. I had Charlotte six days before his birthday. Instead we threw some cake mix in the oven and called it a day. This year I wanted them to have a GREAT birthday party. Sawyer is at the age he can remember things and it's Charlotte's first ever birthday. How could we NOT throw a party?!

Sooo, maybe I went a little overboard...

Welcome to our Lemonade Stand Birthday Party!

A few details: After searching a zillion places for something cute to put in the goody bags, I decided I was going to make each kid an apron for the party. Yeah, brilliant idea when you are super busy as it is! After two days and calling every fabric store in the Denver area, I finally found some lemon fabric and went to town. I was afraid the aprons would be too lame for some of the older kids but just about everyone loved them and the kids looked ADORABLE!

Geoff made the lemonade stand and wanted me to tell everyone his goal was to make it look like a kid made it. He says he used his level to make sure it WASN'T level. I love that guy!

Being sure I was not going to cry, I handed the cake to Sawyer while everyone sang and totally bawled. Yeah, I'm THAT mom.

All in all, it was a huge success and am sooo happy we decided to throw a party this year. Go parties!

I wanted to say a huge thank you to Jenny. She helped me nail down a theme and gave me GREAT ideas for party activities. She is so creative and all around amazing!

I also wanted to thank Melissa. Without her, this party would be decorated so lame! This girl is brilliant and needs to start her own party decorating store. She designed the banners, water bottle labels, menu, and just about everything else you see in this party. A huge, huge thank you Melissa, you are soooo talented!