Because this is serious. A very serious subject matter and while I'm at it, feel free to include the names of any other cheerleading coach and captain you have ever known!
HEAR THAT?!?!
And before you get all crazy on me like "Don't start a rant on cheerleaders, we are ATHLETES damn it!" sort of crazy, let me just say, I WAS A CHEERLEADER TOO!
Okay, panties out of a knot? I love you guys! Cheerleading rocks
sometimes.
But not 12 years later.
I mean FOUR years later, think I'm old or something?
Let me also say that Mrs. Green and Stephanie were both awesome. Mrs. Green was my junior high cheer coach and taught me rhythm (though Geoff would argue otherwise) and Stephanie, well, actually I have another bone to pick with Stephanie.
There is this thing called a twist cradle. Sounds fun huh? Actually it was DEATH! It was terrible. I was the girl that would be on top of the pyramid or "flyer" in the cheer world and the big thing then was TWIST cradles. I'm sure cheerleading has changed a ton but if you weren't twisting like a crazy person down from your stunt, you weren't going to win your competitions. We liked to win so they would make me twist. I would stand on top of a few hands all high in the air with nothing but hard gym floor below me. Yeah, we didn't have a budget for mats and frankly the wrestling mats freaked us out; we were sure we were going to get ringworm from the wrestling room so instead of ringworm, we gambled on broken bones. YAY us, we were so smart! So yeah, there I am standing on a few hands high in the air and Stephanie would yell, "TWIST! 1-2" and right after two, I should be spiraling down from the stunt into their arms.
Don't even say this sounds easy. I would rather back flip into a rattlesnake pit than twist cradle! I would cry! Tears would stream down my eyes as they yelled, "HOLLY! TWIST!!! 1 2..."
See, aren't you mad at Stephanie already? I'm like building my case and all because I'm legal and professional.
Besides making me cry and trying to knock me off by making me twist to my death on hard floors, she would make us smile.
Stephanie AND Mrs. Green would make us smile.
"Smile! Okay, do this one while SMILING! Don't forget to smile! Smile at the judges! Smile during games! Smile at the crowd! Smile at all times!!!"
"Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile! SMILE! SMILE! SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So we smiled until our cheeks hurt. We smiled through the pain! We smiled through the fear. We smiled because we HAD to.
And now at almost 30 years old I have the deepest set of laugh lines you have ever seen.
And can you guess who I blame for these?
Dear Cheerleaders: Don't smile.
Use that botox fund for something else. You're welcome.
11 comments:
Yikes! I guess cheerleading really does screw you over.
Haha, I totally remember being grossed out by all the wrestler's with ringworm! (And as wrestling manager for one year, let me vouch that those mats were never cleaned well. I know, it was our job... and we were busy flirting with the cute boys) Don't worry, you are not the only one with cheer wrinkles. I'm guessing some people blame the sun, kids, sleep deprivation, late nights- nope, it's all due to high school cheerleading :)
P.S. I love the shout out to Geoff in this one. Has he not seen you car dance yet?!
hahah too funny!! I have cheer wrinkles too :)
hahahha.. that was funny, you smiled until your cheeks hurt. But you are right, in a competition you need to smile and show them you are happy even you're not.. LOL! :)
Oh the pain of appearing happy. Ouch.
Apparently I'm wrinkled cuz I had a fab life and laughed a lot. What a crock! I blame happiness! ;)
Haha, that's hilarious! People always told me I smiled a lot, guess that's why I've got the major smile lines at age 30 :) We should all try harder not to smile, right, lol.
Great story!
sounds like hell.
HAH! I skipped past the cheerleading and straight into the Dance Team (at the time known as the Drill Team, however, everyone equates that title to social death) No twisty cradles for me thankyouverymuch. However landing one ones knees over and over again on the hard basketball court did nothing for my ability to walk in my old age!
I was a cheerleader too, though never the cute little one at the top! I had to lift girls who, despite being small, still weighed more than 100 pounds - because there were no boys at school willing to attempt this (even though you kind of have to touch butts and thighs...) I was always jealous of the smaller girls. Thanks for the perspective, it really doesn't sound that great!
Incidentally, the high school sport with the highest risk of injury, statistically speaking, is cheerleading.
Um, ouch.
I didn't mind cheerleaders so long as they weren't overly peppy. Those were the ones who scared me. Like they'd be all, "Do you have school spirit?" at eight in the morning and I'd be like, "My school spirit is sleeping until noon, thanks."
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