Dear Sawyer- THREE Years Old!

Since the weather has warmed up and you and your sister are just CRAZY if locked up inside all day, we drive down to Golden almost every day. The routine is, walk Olde Town, jog up 6 Ave, and finish at the park where you two play before heading home for lunch and nap time. You LOVE the park. You aren't in preschool yet and some wonder if that in some way will contribute you to being shy, not being a people person but that is far from the truth. You spot new kids and make friends immediately. Almost everyone loves you. I sit on the sides and watch you and your new friends play chase, race up stairs, fly down slides and more. It's adorable. Yesterday however was different, there weren't too many kids at the park so you spotted an oder boy and decided to befriend him. I always made it a big deal to teach you to be nice, share, invite others to play, not hit, and always say goodbye to our new friends. It's not that those rules ALWAYS works and I GET a kid having a cranky day but honestly, I wanted to hit this kid you tried to play with. He played with you but only to make fun of you to his other friend. You are still young and too sweet to understand that kids can be intentionally mean. You continued to chase him and tried to laugh at his jokes but the joke was on you. This little punk would run up to the top of the play structure, narrate your actions in a really annoying voice and then send his little friend over to you to play punch you. I wanted to REAL punch him. When we left, you made it a BIG deal to go say goodbye because THAT IS WHAT WE DO. He ignored you and continued to make fun of you to his friend. All I could say is that it was really sad that at his age, he acted so little and couldn't be kind enough to say goodbye while holding back the urge to slap him.

I can't slap everyone that hurts you but MAN would I like to! Of course I'm your mom and I should feel protective, shower you with the love you deserve but so many others feel the same way toward you. Sawyer, you are LOVED! You have so many friends for a three year old and so many adults that consider you family not to mention FAMILY that loves you more than we could ever explain. I know you will experience heart break and disappointment but through it all I wish more than anything that you remember all the people that truly love you, a love that is so big it hurts. I hope you remember that there is someone to share that hurt with, you are NEVER alone. The sad part is not this kid making fun of you but knowing one day you will GET it. It will HURT you and that hurts me.

This year you became a BIG BROTHER! Such a huge event! You have a title now, a JOB and you fill it out so well. Your sister is the apple of your eye. You wake me up when she cries because, how can we POSSIBLY let her cry for a full minute. You run into her room yelling, "BROTHER IS HERE!" so proud to be there for her, so happy to save her from her crib. You like to teach her things, and when you find a word you think is easy enough for her, you'll repeat it to her until she copies you. You find her toys, sit her up, pull her to another area that might be more fun, feed her "baby food", wipe her face, bring her diapers, etc. You are an AMAZING big brother! I'm not going to lie, having two kids now is EXHAUSTING, you two take every bit of energy I have to offer and then some. Every single day I clean and minutes later, my work is destroyed. EVERY DAY it looks like a helicopter took off out of our living room. Sometimes you guys just cry or scream, you ALWAYS need meals at the same time, wake up before 6am, don't want to go to bed before 8pm, need to be entertained EVERY SECOND. Every minute of my day is making sure you two SURVIVE. The other day I asked you what makes you happy; I expected the usual things you talk about: trains, trucks, boats, tractors or horses. You looked up at me and answered, "Charlotte". Tear. Every second of my day, exhausted or not, is worth it, I'm the LUCKY one, you two make ME happy.

Since you were born, you've been a mama's boy. You need cuddles and kisses from me every time you wake up or you can NOT function. Secretly, I LOVE this and soak up every second of cuddles I can get. This last year though, you've really warmed up to Daddy. You are "big like daddy" and "strong like daddy" and my favorite, "handsome like daddY". You want to fish with daddy, ride tractors with daddy, go to work with daddy. I think you see yourself on a path to become like daddy and I love it. It's so rewarding to see you love your dad enough to want to be like him. I'm sure your vision of us will change many times throughout your life but right now, we'll take this one!

Three is such a different age. I'm not sure what "terrible twos" are about because three is MUCH harder so far. It's not like you are BAD, you just know what you want, what you do NOT want and you are smart enough to manipulate us into getting your way. The other day you let yourself out of time out, hugged me and said you were sorry for hitting. It was adorable. I turned you back around, sent you to your room and said you are NOT to come out unless I LET you out. You bawled. Inside I was melting, your action was adorable, the expression on your face was priceless, you were so sweet in your apology but I KNEW if I fell for it, you would no longer stay in time-out because I let you get out on your own. I have to dig down for a strength I've never had in order to turn away your sweet apologies and loving hugs because YOU are figuring out just what you can get away with. You are learning our weaknesses and playing on them. You are honing your survival or "get out of time-out" skills and we can't just keep up, we have to stay ahead of you and it's HARD, it's trying. You can reason and if I have to explain something to you, it better be an explanation that will last. No longer can I say yes to one thing one minute and no to it an hour later because you REMEMBER. You are putting together the puzzle that is YOUR world and OUR rules and as parents, we have to make sure the world we create for you has puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly and if we don't make those puzzle pieces fit, you find the loophole and get yourself right out.

Though you are smart enough for manipulation you are also smart enough to be funny. REALLY FUNNY! You are hilarious! I love the things you say. You understand that daddy goes to work to make money so we and pay for certain things so in your head, he goes to work just so we can buy chips and now you want a job so you can make money and buy all the chips you want! It's hilarious! I'm all for that job by the way, raising kids is NOT cheap! Get to it kid!

Fun Stuff:
-You know every letter of the alphabet and what those letters "say".
-You skied with daddy this year and he said you did AMAZING!
-You LOVE your Boppa (Grandma) and Grandpa and ask for them daily.
-You like to help me cook.
-You are a BOY, you love getting dirty and would rather play tractors in the sand than splash in water.
-You think Skype was invented just for you and how could you not? The only people that that Skype us want to talk to YOU!
-You are getting closer and closer to being potty trained though you aren't a fan of pooping in the toilet.
-You have balance down when riding your balance bike and LOVE going fast.

Every single night, I tuck you in, walk out of the room and yell, "I love YOU Sawyer!" You return with, "I love YOU Mama!" We do this several times getting louder and louder with each proclamation of love. You are three now, next year four and soon fourteen but I will never stop yelling, "I love YOU Sawyer!"

Happy third birthday to our boy-o!