Dear MythBusters,

I think you are running out of myths to prove or bust and this one has me fake cursing at every commercial:

Michael Phelps and his Rosetta Stone. Does whitey really know Chinese? 1-2-8 Investigate.

Last

It's the last day of November. The 30th. The last day of trying to post everyday. Obviously I failed, but not having internet access for a week will do that to anyone. This is also the last day that Sawyer is five months old. He will NEVER be five months old again. That is is sad to me.

I just wanted to say that trying to blog EVERYDAY is actually a little difficult BUT it did force me to write more and that part or should I say challenge, I enjoyed. It's nice to get out your feelings, frustrations, happiness, excitement, creativity and everything else in writing. I DO however feel that pretty much no one really reads this and I have the freedom to write WHATEVER I want. This isn't true. I thank maybe two people read this every so often and every once in a while my husband, who got a little embarrassed that I wrote about his 'Fort Surprise'. If you don't know what that is, no worries. It was in my blog for about half a day when he felt more comfortable with it being off this cyber spew of words. I will say, I enjoyed his surprise very much. That is the last time I will talk about it, unless of course I am reminded of it again, and then well, the cycle begins.

So, more writing to come. More than anything, thanks for tuning in, the fact that anyone would want to read what I have bouncing around in my mind is astounding.

Happy almost December. Happy almost Christmas (My favorite holiday!). Happy almost New Year. Happy last day of November!

Me!

Textation Nation

There is something that annoys me to no end and I have no grounds to be annoyed by what I feel is incorrect English. It is the past tense form of the word text: texted. Texted. TEXTED?! Really now? Yes. Really. It drives me crazy but from what I have read out there, the word 'texted' is not wrong, well, nor is it right, which leaves me, kerbobled (Urbandictionary.com meaning to be upset at something or someone, yo. I added the yo myself.). So, what is a girl to do?

My take on the whole thing...

Text: Thanks for the kind text message. Thanks for texting me that message. Will you text me your address? Will you send me your address in a text? I text you my phone number yesterday. I just sent you my phone number in a text.

Hmmm...

Let's look at the word 'beat'. I am going to beat you at Monopoly. You have me beat. I beat her at Boggle yesterday. Would you EVER say, I BEATED her at Boggle yesterday?! (AND, don't say no because you would never play Boggle, Boggle rocks and EVERYONE should play Boggle.)

What am I realizing? When people say 'text' they actually mean 'text message'. So, you aren't really texting anyone, you are messaging them. Is text a noun or a verb, or is it a noun that became a verb? Is it both? Adjective: text messaging. OR is text a verb in the legit urban dictionary I cited above? It's somewhat similar to the word 'test'.

Test: I am going to take a test tomorrow. I will be testing on that tomorrow. I am taking a test right now. I am testing right now. I took a test yesterday. I was tested on that yesterday. Tested. Tested, it works.

Test, both a noun and a verb and works with the 'ed.

I think the most correct way to verbalize the action of sending a text message is to use the word 'send' in it's present, past, and future forms as the verb. I will send you a text message. I am sending you a text message now. I sent you a text message yesterday. Ahhh, it's good music to my ears!

BUT, English is fluid, dynamic, ever-changing, always evolving and what once was against the rules of proper English can and will become correct if enough people use that exact phrase or word of incorrectness. Yes people, you have say in what Webster publishes!

If history repeats itself, people are not too prone to change and slang and laziness begin to take over. I know the word text will not stay a noun and never a verb, again. So, if we were to use the past form of text AS A VERB without us using 'text' or 'texted' or using 'send' as the verb, how do these options sound and look to you...


texed
tex'd
texd

Because I just can't bring myself to texted anyone.

Turks and Caicos in a Very Tiny Nutshell

Man, I've been trying to write this blog for days. Days. At least it hasn't been months right? I've just been tired. Maybe knowing I'm NOT lounging on a beach drinking rum punch all day will do that to a girl. Oh, and guess what?! It's snowing here. There is actual snow on the ground. Can you transport me back to the island please?

Here goes. Our vacation was pretty great. I would put it in the awesome category, but it was a little too windy that week. When I say windy, I'm talking tropical storm windy. This wind in turn made the water all choppy and wavy, which makes visibility crappy and when you look forward and pretty much book your vacation at this specific resort just to dive, the wind becomes a big deal. We did dive once. Maybe i can say twice. We went out once for a two tank dive, so throw that in whatever category you would like. The visibility was not 100+ like it normally it, but about 30 feet. Enough to see a few sharks, so good enough for me I guess. Are you over the dive talk? Ok, moving on, geeze.

Everything else was fantastic. I mean, hell, I'm at the island I used to live on and talk endlessly about. I'm sure most people would rather take a bath in battery acid than listen to any more of my 'stories' but not only was I at MY island seeing MY friends but I was there with Geoff and Sawyer and life doesn't get better than that!

We're Back!

Hello everyone! It's been a while since I've been on here but I'm back! Run, run for your life! No, really, we had a great time and I will update and share pictures soon. In the meantime, it's THANKSGIVING and I've got to prepare, however, I will leave you with a picture of the back of Sawyer's head. I know, I'm too sweet.



Hope you stuff yourself today, remind your loved ones how much you love them and have really awkward moments around the ones you don't.

Love ya!

Ingrid Michaelson, David Ford and Newton Faulkner.

I got to see these three live last night and they were AMAZING! If you don't know who they are, look them up and buy their music and be their fan. David Ford has this amazing voice and some cool youtube videos. Newton is a riot!!! One of the best stage personalities I've seen and he should do his rendition of You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) song every show. Ingrid is sooo cute and I want to be her friend. Hear that Ingrid, I'm cool and I think you would have fun at the game nights I host!

Uber tired, so this post is short. Listen to this music.

P.S. Had my skiing lesson today, and pretty much I'm a pro. (Did you have doubts?!)

Happy Saturday!

Fort Wars.

My husband won. That's all I have to say about that. Check out the work, Maybe I'll even post some close up pictures later on so you can see his handy work using my Bobby Pins as the key ingredient to holding this fine piece of construction together...



Too bad though the best part of the whole thing, I couldn't take a picture of, or blog about. Really, who am I kidding, I have no shame and share way too much. I will say it involved a Christmas Tree Skirt which minutes later worked mighty fine as a cape when I threw it over my shoulders, and ran around the room like Santa's TRUE number one helper. Oh I love my husband... and Christmas... and forts. Ho. Ho. Ho.

I really need to grow up.

I have so much stuff to do. Really a ton. Basically today is the last day before we leave for Turks and Caicos. Really, we don't leave until Monday, but tomorrow my day is packed until the wee morning hours. Saturday and Sunday I'll be skiing, so today is pack day. Pack and clean and get whatever else we need from the store like... sunscreen, lots and lots of sunscreen. While packing I couldn't just put my bathing suit in the suitcase like a big girl. No, I had to try it on and now refuse to take it off. It's about to snow outside and I'm running around in my bathing suit out of sheer excitement for our vacation AND I can bet you ANYTHING I will forget this most important piece of clothing because taking it off means I'm not really somewhere warm, I'm not near the beach, I'm not five seconds away from a sunburn... but when I do change out of it, something will distract me from putting in my suitcase because EVERYTHING distracts me and I will be that girl wearing shorts and a shirt in the ocean. I hate that girl.

Made from Love!

I'm a little sick of ground turkey but it always end up in my shopping cart via ME. Really, can I stop myself? Can I control my own actions? Am I really a creature of habit. Yes, yes I am. There will ALWAYS be ground turkey in my freezer ready to be defrosted and I'm sick of trying to be creative in terms of it's uses. Turkey burgers, tacos, stuffed peppers. Geoff pulled out the ground turkey and said he was making some spaghetti. Ugh. If there is one thing I don't like, it's spaghetti... and bananas, and coconut and... Anyway, by the look on my face he knew spaghetti wasn't a great idea. I started my internet recipe search. Don't fail me, I need something to do with ground turkey. I was at a loss, it's all the same... except I found a meat loaf recipe. I don't remember ever having meat loaf. I'm sure I have, I just don't remember. Meat loaf doesn't sound appealing, but I thought if I did my own thing to it, I would like it and Geoff would go for the whole meat loaf idea. Meat loaf it was and just like any other recipe, I didn't follow it... at all. I did my own thing, added my own ingredients, adjusted the cooking time and viola, meatloaf. I don't think it smelled like meatloaf or even looked like meatloaf, but I was game and excited for Geoff to try it. After one bit, he looks at me and says he wasn't hungry. Hmmm. I ate it, I loved it, I thought it was consumable, but realized what my problem was. When you tell someone you are going to make something and give it a title, they will expect that. I told Geoff I was going to make meatloaf, ignored the recipe and went with my instinct which happened to be a pretty close twin to my turkey burger recipe. What I had in front of me was the largest baked turkey burger patty this house has ever seen and really, I thought it turned out great.

Since dinner didn't turn out like he hoped I decided I was going to make a little something special for my Lovey Love LOVE. I was tired and headed to bed, but instead of crawling inside the covers, I transformed them into a lovely and wonderful... take a guess... FORT!. Who doesn't like forts? Who didn't like transforming their couches into sprawling fort cities as a child?! Hell, who wouldn't like doing that now? I closed the curtains and the door so he wouldn't walk by and see what was going on. I scoured the living room for anything that could serve as a wall to my fort made from love. I had to pull the bed out, push the bed in, creatively use pillows as an extension to our headboard, use the suitcase for a wall post, get extra blankets from the linen closet and bam, a fort with a grand entrance on Geoff's side of the bed! Geoff walked in and rolled his eyes... crawled in, took one look at me and destroyed the fort. I'm not going to lie, I was a little sad. I worked hard on the fort and now it's walls were in shambles all around me. I threw the walls around my shoulders and said I was sleeping on the couch. He end up picking me up and thowing me back on the bed, apologized for my lack of fort building abilities and declared that his could top mine. So, it's on. Let this day mark the day my husband and I are in Fort War. Fort War, made from love of course.

I'll let you know how he does.

Pictures.

Alright, I'm still new at this posting pictures stuff. I notice that the pictures don't automatically center themselves in the space given meaning that I cut myself out of my own posted pictures. What year are we in? Do I have to do all the thinking for you internet blog page?! UGH!

Stand by while I figure this all out.

(You might be standing for a while...)

Ski Bunny Through and Through!

My husband skis, I do not... I mean, I did, I mean I DO! Uhhh, I kind of do. Umm, I grew up skiing just haven't done it in forever so I thought it was in my best interest to schedule myself some lessons. I start Saturday. I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm... uhhhh, I'm going to rock it!

In honor of my first lesson in THIS century, I thought I would post some pictures of my last few trips skiing. Damn I'm good...



Just heading out the door...






You can't tell here, but this was pretty much a black diamond mountain...





Pizza anyone?





Notice how I'm in the FRONT of my class, AKA- the LEADER, AKA- the BEST in my class!





Before digital cameras preview screen to see you blinked...





AND, my last time on the slopes...




See, it wasn't THAT long ago... I've got skiing in the bag! Watch out Breck, here I come!!!

To my FIVE month old!

Dear Sawyer,

I can get lost going anywhere! I can get lost going around the block! I’m best at getting lost going places I have been to about a hundred times before. I think I get too cocky about knowing where I am going; you think I would have learned already. Today I promised you that you would get to play with other babies. Mommy had her first playgroup date with the Moms club she joined, and guess what, I got lost. I promise you this address does not exist. I drove around for 40 minutes and, of course, forgot my phone at home so I couldn’t call anyone. What have we learned here? Mommy can’t keep her promises, especially if it involves me getting you somewhere. Deal with it kid.



What has gone on this month now that you are five months old?! Not too much since last month. I worked really hard on getting you on a sleep schedule. Really hard! It was no walk in the park. Since about three months old, I knew I had to wean you from falling asleep in my arms and transferring you into the crib. I knew soon you would have to soothe yourself and that you are old enough to do so. I feel like being a parent is constantly walking a fine line. It’s a line between wanting to keep you my baby forever and cuddle you and cradle you and have you forever be my newborn Sawyer or step onto the other side of the line where you are growing up and learning and becoming more independent every day. It’s so amazing to see you grow and mature and learn what life is all about, but that leaning is a letting go process on my (and Geoff’s) behalf. Without letting go, you can’t learn to your full potential. Teaching you to go to bed on your own is just another way I have to let go. You protested a bit (AKA- cried) and tested us to see if you would be the boss or if we were still in charge, and we had to stay strong. Daddy didn’t understand why it was so easy to put you to bed before and all of a sudden it becomes a chore. Well, simple, before we were tricking you into bed. We put you to bed sleeping and you just woke up there. Now, we are teaching you what bedtime is, what winding down is, what your schedule is and at this point I can now say you are pretty awesome at it. Once the routine starts, you know it’s about that time. There are a few times I think you might cry when I walk away because when I am there, reading to you, turning on your bedtime music or kissing you goodnight you are fussing, but when I’m am done, you lay there for a few minutes and then pass out. What a big boy. You wake up an average of once a night now and it’s during that time that I forget what all the books say, what all the websites say, what all the experts say and I cuddle you like the baby I brought you home from the hospital. It doesn’t matter how tired I am when I first wake, when I have you in my arms I feel like the luckiest person on the planet. I love those times!

You are also eating now. Due to a carrot mishap, Daddy bought me a baby food maker and we are making all your baby food; organic, freshly made baby food. You are treated like a king sometimes! You don’t seem to care as much about the new food though as I do. I am sooo excited every time I get to see your face with a new taste, but all the faces are the same, it’s a GIVE ME MORE FOOD AND GIVE IT TO ME NOW kind of face. Real nice Sawyer.

Other things…

We have a new president and history was made. Barrack Obama is now President of the United States of America and now all these babies are being named Barrack. This year, this presidential election is the reason there are a bunch of Barracks in your kindergarten class, haha. Now mommy can say she saw IN PERSON, the president of the United States…working out on one of the wimpiest machines in the gym. I should have challenged him to a cycling class.

In one week we will be on vacation! You are five months old and have a passport! Can you believe it?! We are all spending six nights in Turks and Caicos. I used to live there and can’t wait to show daddy one of the places I consider home. I love it there and now get to spend time in one of my favorite places with my all time favorite people, you and daddy. Too bad you are too young to drink because the resort we are going to makes some pretty wicked margaritas.

You spent opening day at A-Basin with Mommy and Daddy. That was really important to him. He is a big time skier. I hear he is AMAZING. I CAN’T wait to ski with him. I grew up skiing but have not done it in years. I’m pretty sure I am going to sneak up to the resort and get some lessons in before I go with Daddy. I am insanely in love with your father and always want to impress him. I want to impress him with my skiing skills and am in no shape to do that now. We have to be sneaky!

That is about all I have for you. I know this is a boring one, but whose fault is that?! I challenge you to do something before next month. Crawl? Roll over more? Roll over at all because you have seemed to forget how to do that. Change the oil in the car? Make daddy and me dinner for a change?! Come on, you are made from the insides of two smart, beautiful, amazing people, I know you got more in ya!



I love your guts to outer space and back! Happy five months!

Mommy

Our Weekend.

Sawyer dancing...



Isn't my husband handsome?

Sing It!

My husband likes techno, I do not. The beat sounds the same, it echos in my ears and pounds on my chest, the glow sticks scare me, especially when those little dancers put them on strings and swing them around. ( It's like, uhhh, you know the glow stick swinging operators had drinks and possibly some other substances and now they are swinging around glowing chemicals in plastic tied to a sting... that is a WEAPON if you ask me!!!) The weird hand movements in other peoples faces, the dress up in weird outfits; the whole culture in general is just not one I ever got into or even experimented with. But like I said, my husband likes techno, he likes it a lot. Date night last night and we went to some club to meet up with some friends in town where the DJ who is friends with my friend (Sorry for all the friend's friend's friend stuff! ) played some bump-bump, techno stuff. I soon got pulled into the DJ booth with her and another friend, I was sooo out of my element. I danced like a girl in a body cast would... awkwardly. I tried to be cool but realize I am not. More importantly, I realized just another reason and possibly, one of the stronger reasons I don't like that techno remixed stuff. When I sing to the words to a song and the DJ decides to 'mix it up' and I sing what comes next, but there isn't a next, just the last word played over and over again 80 times leaving me there without my facade, revealing to myself and others that no, it wass not me that was responsible for the vocals. That I did NOT sing that song. That I am NOT the lead vocalist in that band. I have worked too hard memorizing songs and choreographing dance routines on my runs to have my fantasy world shot down by MY song remixed by a DJ. So, you won't see my 'performances' at any club any time soon, but I will be featured on the Cherry Creek Running Path... yes, that is me running and singing and dancing, and yes, I'm pretty good.

And then a Hero comes along...

I am annoyed at my husband’s friend and his wife. I wouldn’t be getting into this at all except for the fact that I saw them last night and couldn’t be mean. I mean, I wanted to because I have the maturity level of a second grader, but I couldn’t do it! What is wrong with me? Where did Holly go?

I probably have no business being annoyed, but I am, so there. Long story short, (Haha, I always say that and it’s never a shortened story, consider yourself warned.) this guy went to college with my husband, moved to Colorado together, I think they were even roommates for a while. My husband considered this guy one of his best friends until recently and rightly so. They have known each other for a long time, have very similar interests but this guy NEVER makes any effort to hang with Geoff. This couple lives about 20 minutes away and never bother to visit, EVER. They will not come to a birthday party, Christmas party, or any sort of event here because quite frankly, they never leave the vicinity of their neighborhood. WE always invite them to all sorts of things and will drive up to where they live just to have lunch. I mean, hello, a friendship is like sex, reciprocate! All of that is certainly going to get old, but the nail in the coffin was after we had Sawyer.

Geoff always wanted to be a daddy and couldn’t more elated when I told him I was pregnant. His friends know this. Sawyer was born five months ago and they did not come visit once. Not once! As annoyed as I am with them, if this chick pushed out a baby tomorrow, I would be there with gift in hand just to say Congrats. (That is why I am the bigger person here, right?!) A baby is a big deal, a life changing thing, an amazing experience and when our Russian neighbor lady who wears too much perfume can make an effort to come visit and say congrats, if my friends can fly half way across the country to say congrats, I think one of Geoff’s “best friends” can drive twenty minutes out of their way to say congratulations as well. BUT, they never did, ever. I know Geoff is hurt by the situation and because he is the man and not suppose to be hurt by anything, I stepped up as his wife and am pissed on his behalf. That’s right, I stepped up to the plate like a hero, pretty much I am a hero. Just call me hero. Pretty, beautiful hero.

I guess I wonder though if I have the right to be? This wife thing is new to me, I’m insanely protective of my family and if you hurt any of them, I will hate you, be sarcastic to your face, and call you ugly head to all my friends... well, that is what the second grader inside me wants to do, BUT, I couldn’t do it last night. I couldn’t do it. That is no hero in my books! I have another chance tonight and since my husband and I already worked it out that I got to drink some wine last night and he drove, that means, he gets to enjoy some beverages tonight and I drive home, which is just a wordy equation equaling out to me not saying anything ever. Maybe it is my place to be mad, but not ruin a friendship. Maybe I’m growing up. Maybe my Maturity level is at third grade now, which was one of my favorite grades anyway, but MAYBE you guys can help come up with something witty to say before I head off to this thing. Maybe I can get my mean back. Maybe I can flunk a maturity level. Maybe.

Don't forget your carry on... and your manners.

In honor of the holidays and the travel season, I thought I would post a little something I wrote a long time ago while I was working as a flight attendant. It's a little paper I think all travelers should read, date and sign before they enter two feet on any plane!

Consent Form to Fly


Its a plane not a spa so hold off on the toe nail clippings.

No, we are not looking at the size of your boyfriends penis buldge, we are checking to see if his seatbelt is fastened.

How do I know your bag wont fit? I pretty much live on these aircrafts, Im not saying it to get back at your mother, I'm telling you because your bag wont fit. Really.

Needing a bottle of water during take-off is not an emergency unless your shorts are on fire, so can you wait five minutes?!

Don't take the seatbelt sign serious and we will find the new knot on your head amusing.

Don't slam my bins! I don't go to your house and slam doors, or hide my gum under the arm rest of your chairs for that matter.

Masterbating in flight is not a compliment to anyone and a blanket does not make you invincible.


When my pilots step out of the flight deck to greet you or say goodbye, be respectfull, do the same. I'm super protective of my pilots, so when they stand next to me as you de-plane, look her or him in the eyes and say something, like nice flight perhaps. Its amazingly sad how little they recieve a compliment, a wave, recognition, or eye contact... Then tell me how pretty I am.


Wash your hands, don't want your germs.

No, your baby is not cute, when it is taking our snacks and smashing them into our floor, I don't care how blue their eyes are.

Most of your flight attendants have degrees, read more books in a month than the average American does in their life, and is in this job to travel, therefore well cultured. Don't treat us like idiots... Ask us a stupid question and we will reply with a stupid answer, just to see the look on your face.

When we warn you to watch your elbows and knees for the cart coming through the isle, don't complain when they get hit.

Will your bags make it? No! Always expect that and you will never be dissapointed.

Wheelchairs in Chicago OHare are like Leprachans and gold at the end of a rainbow...good luck!

I am not psychic. How am I suppose to know your entire gut can fold over the seatbelt? Lift it and show me the belt is worn "low and tight".

Your warm bag of barf left under your seat after a flight is not a welcoming suprise... Just let me know right away and I will properly disspose it, no surprises.

Oh yeah, I willed that thunderstorm in Chicago, fog in San Francisco, and snow in New York so they cancel your flight... Do you really think I control the weather? I want to get there just as bad as you, trust me, it's probably my one flight from home.


Sign here if you understand and comprehend all information and will not commit something as stupid or heinous as above.


X_________________________ Date:_____________ You are now welcome to board!

Marriage in a Nut Shell

Me while gagging: "Your farts haven't turned my stomach in a long time, but man, that last one really flipped it over!"

Geoff: "Really?" Kisses my forehead, "That's so sweet Baby!"

Easy Steamy

Mamma got a present, and NOT because I deserve one! I actually got it due to my lack of basic cooking skills. Yes, LACK of. That makes me a little sad to say. I feel like I worked hard to teach myself how to cook some decent meals. I can follow a recipe, I can make up my own and it usually comes out pretty good… or so I thought.



Confession: I burned steamed carrots. Isn’t it obvious that water becomes steam and the longer you steam, the more likely it will be that you need to STOP steaming, or ADD more water?! I know this, I DO know this. I know this when I think about it logically, but that was the problem, I wasn’t thinking logically. That, or just got too distracted. I get distracted very easily. One of my nicknames was Goldfish due to my lack of concentration, and ability to be distracted by just about anything, especially if it’s shiny or sparkly. Did I get distracted? I don’t remember! (Let’s not even talk about memory!) Point is, burnt carrots smell BAD and boy did I burn them! I smoked them and smoked carrots don’t make good baby food.

About two weeks ago, I decided it was time to feed you solids. Solids is by no means solid. In fact, it is the complete opposite of solid. No joke, a baby’s first solid should be of liquid consistency. Is liquid a solid?! No it is not! Maybe if information wasn’t so misleading, my mind wouldn’t have been so full of baby translations and I wouldn’t have burnt the carrots, but whatever.

So, I wanted to wait until you were about six months old before I started you on “solids” but I think at five months old you were more than ready. You bring everything to your mouth, especially beer bottles. We went out to dinner and all the adults enjoyed a beverage. You sat on my lap and fussed reaching for my beer. Once it was in your hands you opened your mouth and lowered the bottle until you mouth was at the opening and tried to tip it up so you could drink some! You were upset when we wouldn’t let you have a drink. Relax kid, your five months, not 21years and five months. You also started to get up a lot at night. Every 2 ½ hours to be exact just to eat. You were starving. Milk was no longer doing it. I was pretty sure you were ready for food and 100% sure I couldn’t wake up every 2 ½ hours for a month straight.

We started you on rice cereal and you loved it. You wanted more, you thought I wasn’t doing a good enough job of shoveling into your mouth and took it upon yourself to grab the spoon and rush it into your wide open mouth. You got it all over you, you held the mush in your hands and squished it through your fingers. I was all about it! See the food, smell the food, experience the texture of your food. Daddy came over and wiped your face. See, sometimes mom is the fun one! Anyway, you formed a rash. A rash on your face, your trunk around your eyes. I thought it was an intolerant reaction to the cereal. Aunt Jackie says that a reaction to cereal in the form of a rash is rare and most likely caused by some virus. Mommy and daddy did have a cold recently, but I still thought the safe bet was to stop the cereal. The rash stopped and I decided to move you on to better more tasty foods… carrots.

I decided to make you the carrots myself…

Home made baby food…

Steamed carrots are easy enough right?

Obviously that is where I went wrong. When Daddy mentioned something was burning, I was so sure it was something on the stove that we didn’t fully wipe off from dinner. I let the carrots cook longer. They were thick! It must take like 25 minutes right? Needless to say, we were left with a completely black pan, smoked carrots and a smell so bad that it took over 24 hours of airing out the house to get the smell out. Mommy’s new present??? A baby food maker, an obviously needed baby food maker and I love it!

And what present did you give us in return? I’ll leave you with an e-mail I sent to Daddy yesterday,

OMGOMGOMG!!!!

If I could send smells through the internet, I would send you Sawyers last diaper. SO, no need for prunes. Guess the carrots took their sweet time out and BOY did they come out! Holy Crap, I wish you saw this! I picked up Sawyer to see poop spewing out of his diaper and onto my hand. My first thought: Yay, poop! Babe, this was the most wretched smell yet and there was sooo much! It basically looked likeI spooned a cup of carrot puree into the diaper and added a drop or two of brown coloring.

Oh man it was bad! What a big boy!

Failure #1, the first of many.

So after committing myself to something, I realized that I set myself up for failure. This month my family is going on vacation. (Hallelujah... HALLLLLL e LUUUUU JaHHHH... is singing in my head as I type vacation, vacation, VACATION!!!) So, naturally, I WON'T be logging onto the internet during my vacation, vacation, VACATION! So, besides that week of sun, scuba diving, margaritas, I am going to try and write every day. Don't lash me.

Get ready for my verbal throw up... in the form of blogs.

Sawyer,

I’m not necessarily sure what this will be about. I think it will be about you, but then I think it might be about me. Maybe I’m feeling selfish. Thing is, I want to write more. I used to write all the time, not so secretly, I wanted to write a book. To tell you the truth, I think I had a somewhat adventurous life that people might want to hear about. Then again, maybe they don’t. All I know is that somewhere along the line, I learned that I liked to put words onto paper regarding what I was thinking, what I was feeling. In no way am I a poet, or a mush gushy writer, but when I have an opinion, it’s usually an uber intense strong one and I think I am usually able to get that point across on paper and sometimes in a humorous manner. I’m also not too shy when it comes to embarrassing myself. I can’t help but feel a little jealous when I read these really funny mommy blogs that are all popular, because the truth is, I want to be there too. I want to be a funny mommy blogger that people want to read, a blog people relate to. Really though, I don’t have much to say, like I already said too much long ago and am now running out of words. I want my words back!

It’s funny though, how I used to write about all kinds of crazy stuff, I have notebooks full of stories and now, every time I think about writing, all I want to do is tell the world about you. How awesome you are, how adorable you are, how annoying you are at times, how tiring you can be, how much you eat, how much you poop, how much you have changed my life and how much I love you. I guess you are the most important thing in my life, right up there with Daddy and Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Oatmeal Balls. Man, I just love you three so much!

I guess the point is, while reading some of those mom blogs, I learned that this month is National Blog Writing Month (Or something like that.). If you want to join in, you have to blog every day. Really, I didn’t go to the website, or do any sort of research at all because, well, I’m lazy. So, maybe you aren’t suppose to blog everyday, I don’t know what the rules are, but it challenged me to TRY and blog every day for the rest of this month. Lets see what happens. Lets see if I find my words. Lets see who I bore to death. November 5th…. Day one of my daily blogging adventure…

Oh, and here is my third love:

2 cups Oatmeal
½ cup P/B
½ cup honey
2 tbs. Almond milk (Cause Dairy is the devil)
Handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips.

Mix together, roll into little balls and let sit for a few hours. No baking needed. Mmmm mmm good!


Your weird mom.