Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Updates to the Friend Post

Here I go, here I go, here I go again.

Girl what's my weakness?

(Come on, you know this song right? TELLMEYOUDO!)

Men!

Okay then.

It's really cold here. I'm shivering inside my house. I need to clean and organize but don't feel up to it. I was all annoyed at Geoff last night for the stupidest reason. I'm ready to break up with all sorts of people and give them a piece of my mind.

Basically it's about that time of the month.

And here is where any male readers clicked out of my blog and decided to look at famous people in bikinis instead.

Oops.

This really has nothing to do with men in particular as it is more so regarding my crankiness.

Remember that friend situation I told you about here?

If you don't feel like reading it, I'll sum it up, some D bag wanted us to rent a condo and when we said no, he said that my hubby and I were probably headed for a divorce because I said no.

Really my husband said no but blamed it on me which I'm totally okay with.

You guys were ALL right. That guy is an idiot and NOT a friend. He actually was a friend of a friend of Geoff's. I know, don't you hate that? It's kind of like, he said that she said that he knew that she said and then everyone is confused and needs a strong drink.

If you were in my neck of the woods I would of poured you a strong drink already.

Here is that update. I wrote that post a while ago and the friend that linked Geoff and the guy trying to rent the condo is the biggest A-hole, idiot you may or may not have met. This guy actually came between Geoff and another one of his friends blaming all sorts of crap on me. I post it recently because a lot of stuff has been on my mind and I like your opinions. I treat them like professional help.

This guy (We'll call him D) is SUCH an A-hole I almost want to type the real A word and I would never support him or encourage anyone to ever support him. He is a DJ in Denver so if you want to know who NOT to hire, I would happily give out his name.

Goeff and D had a huge fall out and I couldn't be happier he is out of Geoff's life. D was fake, a liar and only looks out for himself and it shows by the people he hangs out with. Most of his friends are stuck up jerks too.

Gosh, I'm so negative right now!

BUT there is a situation that is entangles in the previous story that I've wanted to share with you guys for sooo long. OH. SO. LONG. The problem is, if I shared it, I think it would hurt the feelings of some people and I don't intend to do that and basically I'm sure the people I want to speak about read this blog.

Then again, I'm not sure anyone cares anymore. I kind of want to have a "Do we still hate each other?" party and see if the couple we lost friends with two years ago is still lame-o or people we could hang with.

Make sense?

AND then I think that if people dropped us so quickly a while back for no reason, why would we want them back in our lives?

We are really freakin' awesome.

Which brings me to the other thing I was going to share long ago. I'm sick of friends not making an effort. I only make so much effort before I call it a day and consider you someone not worth spending time with. I will support the HELL out of you but only for so long. Then I'm done. I wash my hands of you.

What makes you drop a friendship? What makes you forgive others? What makes you pick up a friendship after so long? Would you drop a friendship because you didn't like your friend's spouse?

Give me your minds. Pour them out, let them bleed in the comments. I need it.

(What? Too dramatic?)

18 comments:

Furry Bottoms said...

I have noticed recently... actually, over the past several years that most people aren't making the effort to be my friend. They're just there and then they get mad because YOU aren't making the effort to be friends with THEM. WTH?! I actually had a longtime friend who de-friended me on Facebook because I wouldn't go hang out with him. Girl, we were friends for 30 years and this happens? In a he-she-she said situation, I found out that he felt like I wasn't there for him when he needed a friend. I didn't even know he was having a hard time, he never said anything when we DID talk. And we only talked because *I* made the contact.

Way to go, setting me up for failure. Thanks. Byebye! I say.

It was hard though. 30 years of history. Very hard to give up but people change.

After that situation happened, I thought back to my friends and saw a pattern there. I am always the one to contact them. I'm tired of it too!

I prefer to keep my friendships at a give-take. Two way street. If that isn't happening, I am definitely NOT putting the effort into it anymore.

Furry Bottoms said...

how was that for pouring my soul out?! LOL

wonderchris said...

I don't read other blogs that post so much with no pictures. That is saying something!! :D

That guy really grinds my gears - and I don't even know him. I do know a DJ that is a real a-hole...so there may be something to that...or not.

You asked so many questions and as "professional" help I must address them all.

What makes you drop a friendship?
I'll drop a friendship when it no longer feels beneficial. Am I just giving and not receiving?! A relationship is a two-way street. If I'm just a giver then it's not gonna work.

What makes you forgive others?
Someone coming to me and apologizing in a sincere manner - that give a big forgive from me...but they have to seem sorry and not be an overtly repeat offender...otherwise see question #1's answer.

What makes you pick up a friendship after so long?
Sometimes this can happen, and it did happen to me just recently. This is actually the first time it has ever happened and so far so good. Apologies were handed out and things seem to be different....let's hope so. :)

Would you drop a friendship because you didn't like your friend's spouse?
Yes. If I disliked a friend's spouse to that degree (where I would question the friendship)...it seems like it might be saying something about my friend's decision making abilities.

Well, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed our session together. I accept payment in many forms - so feel free to be creative.

That's my record for longest blog comment!!! :D

Have a kick-ass rest of your week! You deserve it!

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking that also! I'm so sick of making the effort a lot of times. We wanted to hang out with people and watch the football game a few weeks ago... hubs was all like, I don't want to have people here but I do want to do something... but I was like who is going to have something then? So we ended up having something... and then i had to clean twice... But anyway... I don't like growing apart from friends, but it happens. I've honestly only worked out a relationship with one person and I'm glad that we did. It's funny because who she was dating broke us apart. And then she magically wanted to be my friend again when they broke up because I was magically right.... It's SO hard to be friends with someone when you don't like who they are with... and even if it's not a huge blow out split between the two couples... both couples usually end up growing apart and doing the whole... oh yeah we should get together ... and then not.

shew that was long...

screw the A hole!

Unknown said...

I just LOVE you guys!

I'm the spouse this couple doesn't like but it made me wonder why they would drop my husband? I wouldn't drop anyone if I didn't like their spouse. My hubby and my friends hubby got a blow out and didn't speak for a year. I was still good friends with his wife. I saw no reason to drop that friendship.

We all back to friends right now.

P.S. I changed a bunch of stuff on my blog and I lost half the people I was following. Some are okay because they haven't posted in forever. I'm going through and adding people back again.

With a new profile picture!

Courtney said...

i can't stand being the only one putting effort into a friendship. being the only person to email or call or whatever. friendships, like relationships, have two sides - two people in it. when i'm the only one putting anything in, and am not getting anything out of it? i stop putting in, too.

Unknown said...

WonderChris: You are such an awesome therapist. Would a boob flash work as payment?

Brandy@YDK said...

I have no idea what is going on. I tried really hard to follow along but i think I should've had that stiff drink first

stephanie said...

I think cut your losses and keep going. You're not friends for a reason but then again maybe I'm the a-hole for thinking that? Who knows.

G. B. Miller said...

I've had a few psuedo friendships that vanished due to the other person's true colors (much like this guy you wrote about) bleeding through.

I've only had one really good friendship vanish because it really wasn't in his nature to make the first contact. I was friends with him throughout high school, shared an apartment with him and my girlfriend (now wife) and he was even best man at my wedding.

But once we went our separate ways back in '89, it got harder and harder to maintain contact with him until I finally lost contact with him in the early 2000's.

Saw him once in 2007 when he needed a place to crash for the night and once in '09 when I gave him a ride home, but since then, not a peep.

I do have friends who still make the effort to reciprocate, even though its sporadic at best.

Kristina P. said...

I broke up with a friend about 2 1/2 years ago. We had been friends for 8 years. I just don't have time in my life anymore for people who don't care as much about me or are jealous, or are petty. I'm too old.

When I realized I was working harder at my friendship with her, than my marriage, it was time to let go. I have no ill will towards her at all, and she's still friendly with my best friend. I wish her all the best. But it was exhausting dealing with her drama and constant pity parties.

Stephanie said...

I stick it pout with friends for a long time. Probably a lot longer then is healthy for ME! That being said, the older I get, the less crap I will take. Life is too short to stress!

Aurora Sisneros said...

OK. I'm with you on this one, and now I am using your blog to vent.

Several years ago, my hubs throws me a bday party up in Blackhawk, and sends an evite to all our "friends" a month in advance. I'm excited!

Then, one of our crew sends out his own Evite for a huge raging party for no reason the night before MY party. Therefore, no one can come to mine, cuz they will be all raged out that day.

Fine, it will be close friends only. Turns out, the "close friend" isn't going out that weekend AT ALL cuz he just got back from Vegas, and he is partied out and broke. Whatever, whimp.

So my big birthday bash turns into a solo trip for me and my hubs. Whatev; it was fun.

Then, get this.

The DB (short for douche-bag) with the Vegas excuse ORGANIZES a BLACKHAWK TRIP the VERY NEXT WEEKEND. Everyone that was invited to my trip that ditched it goes to HIS trip.

Then these people have the nerve to continually text us on Saturday nights from the bar, like "Where the F ARE you guys?!" Um, NOT hanging out with you cuz yer all a bunch of DB's.

Whew! That feels better!!!

Christine said...

I have a girl I let live in my house for a YEAR rent free who I was friends with at first...then she proved how lazy, irresponsible, childish and hypocritical she was. She always criticized me for not being a good friend, even though I always made plans to do fun stuff and she would cancel every time 10 minutes AFTER we were supposed to be hanging out.

Then we told her to move out...and I made the first point of contact...offering her a free pair of shoes.

She responded by unfriending me on facebook.

People who are meant to be friends shouldn't have to work at it that hard, so I am done with that girl for good!

Crystal Escobar said...

Oh man, sounds like you and I are on the same cycle, haha. I just wrote a post about DRAMA, and it's basically because, like you, it's that time of month for me. So funny how it works, right :)

wonderchris said...

Your payment terms are gladly accepted.

Kristy @Loveandblasphemy said...

OMG, I totally used the exact same song quote in a post of mine! What are ya, my long lost sister?!

What makes me give up on a friendship? If I just cannot no longer trust or depend on the person.

Average Girl said...

Thanks for stopping by and checking out my ghost story... I get some really freaking things happening to me! Perhaps your daughter, had just a bad nightmare... let's hope it was just that! Yikes!

Cheers