Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Worst Passenger Ever
I promised you guys this story. I hope I can tell it as well in writing as I can in person. In writing, you don't get the sound effects. If you are going to see me sometime soon, perhaps divert your eyes and wait for the in person version!
On a gloomy day in April... (It might not be April but what a great way to start the story, right?!)
I was a flight attendant on the prop planes, you know, those really tiny planes that fly the short flights, hardly seat any people and vibrate you to sleep? Yeah, those. Well, it was our last flight of the day, I was super tired and excited to be done. Everyone is boarding the plane and I greet each passenger with my little wave. "Welcome aboard." Everyone was boarded except one passenger. So, we wait. Late passengers really annoy me, I think that when you are flying commercial, you need to be prompt, be aware of delays and be understanding the the flight can leave early as well. Yes, early. If you aren't there, they have the right to close the door WITHOUT YOU! Be on time. I look out the door to see a man hobbling toward the plane. This is no small person, this is a very large, plump, oversize, no HUGE man coming my way. This plane is small. This man is big. He makes his way up the stairs, barely, shows me his ticket, row one, and takes a seat. Mind you, I had to move into the isle for this guy to get into row one because he was so large.
We close the door and are on our way. I'm low on energy and patience, I don't have it in me to talk much more and am slightly annoyed that this last passenger made us late. We closed the door a few minutes behind which classifies our flight as delayed. I don't like my flights delayed. Sitting in the jump seat next to the first row, this large man who made us late strikes up a conversation with me. I talk back. His questions are lame and I do my best to answer politely but truth is, I'm over him and I'm over this flight.
This flight is about 30 minutes from wheels up to wheels down. No service flight. The chime goes off to let me know that it is safe to get up. I walk to the back of the plane to get some paperwork done but more so to be out of talking distance of this guy. In the back of the plane, I finish my paperwork and a cute, older lady sitting in the last seat, directly across from the lavatory, says hello. This lady is soo cute, I want to put her in my pocket and take her home with me. I want to introduce her to my grandma so they can have tea parties together. She asks where I'm from, how I like flying and other common questions and I adore her. Fifteen minutes pass as I have a lovely conversation with this woman. When you have been a flight attendant for so long, you know about how much longer you have before you will need to give your descent announcement, when to clean, etc. We are over half way there.
I see something out of the corner of my eye and look to the front of the plane. Big man is up and headed my way. This is a full flight and I've said it before, this man is BIG. If he is up to use the lav, that means in order to pass me, we have to pass in the isle. There is NO way we can pass without touching. He's huge.
I meet him half way down the isle, inform him that the plane will be descending soon and ask if he needed to use the lavatory. He insist that he MUST use it. He is passing me in the isle. I'm holding my breath, I'm squeezing myself up against one of the isle seats as hard as I can, so we don't have to touch as much. It's a tight squeeze, I can smell his body odor and am holding back from gagging. As he opens the door to the lav, I wonder how he will fit and close the door. This guy could possibly be as wide, if not wider, than this little place we call the bathroom. He gets in and fumbles for a bit to get the door closed and locked. You can tell the process was not easy. It's a sliding door that folds in half when open, and flat when closed. To get the door completely closed, you can see the door pop out several times before this guy is in there and the door is locked. I chuckle and head to the back again to finish my conversation with the cute, older lady. At least eight minutes go by and this guy is still in the bathroom. The descent chime will go off soon and I know this guy will need to be out and sitting down with his seatbelt tightly fastened.
I hear some thumps from the bathroom, remember how big this guy is and realize that this noise is probably pretty normal for a man his size in a place so small. I continue my conversation with the lady. More thumps. She looks at me and I shrug. The descent chime goes off and I wait a minute for this guy to get out. Just thumps.
"I think he is stuck!" She says to me alarmed.
"I'll give him another minute."
More thumps. A few more minutes go by.
"Sir, you NEED to get out, we are landing!" I yell to him.
Descent Chimes.
Thumps.
"You need to help him!" She yells
Thumps.
I see the ground getting closer.
Thumps.
"He's stuck!" She says to me.
Thumps.
If he doesn't get out soon, I'll have to call the captain and inform him of the situation. We can't land if everyone is not in their seat. Losing our spot at the airport means we circle around until that Air Traffic Control can find another spot for us. I want to be on the ground now. Not landing means another twenty minutes or MORE in the air.
Thumping.
"Sir, we are going to land soon."
Thumping.
"Sir, you NEED to get out!" I yell. I'm not sure what to do, I know I have about a two minute window before I need to call the flight deck.
"Help him!" She yells.
"SIR?" I yell.
More thumping, he has got to be stuck in there. Why did he insist on using the restroom now? We would of been on the ground fifteen minutes later. He couldn't wait fifteen minutes?!?! Why couldn't he wait FIFTEEN dang minutes?! I'm getting really upset.
More thumping.
"Sir, do you need my help?"
Rhythmic Thumping. The ground is getting closer. He MUST need my help, I mean, this guy is HUGE, he can't turn around and open the door for himself.
I flip up a latch and unlock the door from the outside. I open the door.
He is panting, sweating, holding onto his 'man part', looks at me and says breathlessly, "I'm not done!"
The older woman screams.
I let the door slam and jump back.
O! M! G!
Did I just see that?! Did I just experience that? Did I REALLY just ask if he needed my help in the middle of his play time?!
The funniest part of this story was telling my captain on the ride home. He didn't get it. "He was still peeing?!" He asked confused. "No, what do you think he was doing? THUMP-THUMP-THUMP!"
Finally, the first officer blurt it out and yelled, "Sometimes you've got to have a release!"
Really GUYS, really? You can't wait thirty minutes? I'm still traumatized.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
25 Random Things
So everyone is tagging me on this facebook note. Since I'm not smart at the whole facebook thing, I'll do it here and then post it there. I know, I'm lame.
1. I once socked (no, not punched) my brother in face to show my friend how strong I was. I knocked out a tooth. Moral: Don't mess with me.
2. I am completely out of date with what is cool on T.V. Heroes, American Idol, and whatever shows everyone talks about are beyond me. Turn on the Cosby Show and I'm happy.
3. I got voted 'Most Shy' in high school. I know, I still can't believe it.
4. I think Dairy is the devil and would happily talk your face off about it in hopes that you will one day agree.
5. On the whole talking subject: I got voted the #1 persuasive speaker at a Cal State Debate against a bunch of communication majors. Ha, take THAT 'Most Shy' award!
6. My brother once burned all my toys and blamed the fire on me, like I would burn my own toys. My strawberry shortcake kitchen set was forever ruined and I'm still upset about it.
7. When I'm under the influence of too much wine, all of a sudden I think I'm fluent in French. I blame Turks and Caicos.
8. I can't help but have an air competition with you if we were to go scuba diving together. I want to be the one on the boat with the most air left in her tank. I blame Holly Scuba.
9. I say I would love if my house were haunted because I think I could talk the ghost into doing chores. Really, I think it would totally freak me out, even if the ghost did do dishes.
10. I am absolutely clueless when it comes to makeup. I don't know what to do and would rather not wear any then end up looking like Sawyer got me ready to go out.
11. There is some sort of nerve that runs down my face, so when I tap my cheek, my upper right lip twitches. This is my greatest talent.
12. Speaking of talents, if I could get plastic surgery on one thing, it would be my vocal cords so I could be an amazing singer. I long to sing and dance on Broadway. I imagine myself on stage and choreograph dances during my runs down the Cherry Creek bike path. Yes, that is me running with jazz hands.
13. I not so secretly want to write a book, I just don't know what it would be about and who the hell would read it.
14. I remember being interviewed for a friend club (BFC!) and being asked if I would laugh if a fellow member tripped and fell. I said yes and still hold true to my answer. I think falling and/or embarrassing yourself is one of the funniest damn things. I still love you, but I really love you when you are my form of entertainment.
15. Holding hands is one of my favorite things in the world and feel insanely lucky that my husband feels the same.
16. People ask what my worst experience was as a flight attendant. If you haven't heard this story yet, you are in for a treat, just make sure you have an empty stomach. I think I'll hold off on this one and make it a blog.... stay tuned for that one. AND don't tell me this doesn't count as a fact, I'll elaborate soon.
17. I hate motorcycles. I am sooo nervous every time my husband wants to ride his to work and wait anxiously by the computer to receive his, "I'm here!" email.
18. (Okay, seriously you guys, 21 is a lot.) I do squats as I blow dry my hair. I hate to dry my hair and I feel like if I'm working on something else (like my tushy), it will make me actually complete the drying process, instead of walking away and having frizzy hair all day.
19. The only person that has ever got me to change much of anything is my friend Janice. Thanks to her I like to cook.
20. One of my goals is to be able to do a standing back handspring on my 30th birthday. The only thing I've done to accomplish this goal is a handstand against the wall once a few months ago.
21. (Finally, it's HERE!) I can make my tongue in the shape of three loops. You know, like the taco, but three of them. When I showed my husband this a few months ago he said, "Don't ever do that again!"
-Dedicated to Debra because she said I'm funny.-
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
F.A.Q.
Anyone who is anyone has a frequently asked questions page so I need one too. Obviously most of these questions I'm pulling out of my A double snake because no one really asks me questions. Why don't you guys care, huh? HUH?!?! Care damn you!
Onto the fake interview/F.A.Q.:
1. How did you meet your husband? (This is the only legit question.)
Well that would be on the post titled, 'How I Met My Husband.' Basically it went something like this, I liked him and brewed up an evil plan on how to make him like me back. Sucker!
2- You lived in Turks and Caicos?! What brought you there?
Basically I was training to be a firefighter in California and last minute I wasn't hired and at the same time graduated college. I decided I was over working hard and decided I was going to just go have fun. That is still my state of mind, just go have fun!
3- Why do you answer your questions with 'basically'?
Because ever since I had a child, the amount of books I read took a dive and adult conversations becomes less and less. Basically I don't have a vocabulary.
4- There you go again.
Basically, yeah.
5- You seem to be all over the place and very random. How do you decide to do the things you do?
Pretty much because I feel like it. I guess most questions can be answered by that.
6- Because you felt like it?
Basically.
6- If you could take back anything, what would it be?
Ummm, maybe the time I photocopied my face, then I'm guessing I wouldn't have needed the Lasik.
7- If you could give one piece of advice to other parents, what would it be?
That you can have a life and have kids, it just takes more effort, a lot more effort but MAKE it happen, healthy 'you' and 'couple' time equals a better mommy/parent. Other set backs of not getting out is the birth of talking to yourself, hence this interview.
8- (Silence)
Is that all you have?
9- I'm scared to hear anything else, so, basically yeah.
Hmph.
Onto the fake interview/F.A.Q.:
1. How did you meet your husband? (This is the only legit question.)
Well that would be on the post titled, 'How I Met My Husband.' Basically it went something like this, I liked him and brewed up an evil plan on how to make him like me back. Sucker!
2- You lived in Turks and Caicos?! What brought you there?
Basically I was training to be a firefighter in California and last minute I wasn't hired and at the same time graduated college. I decided I was over working hard and decided I was going to just go have fun. That is still my state of mind, just go have fun!
3- Why do you answer your questions with 'basically'?
Because ever since I had a child, the amount of books I read took a dive and adult conversations becomes less and less. Basically I don't have a vocabulary.
4- There you go again.
Basically, yeah.
5- You seem to be all over the place and very random. How do you decide to do the things you do?
Pretty much because I feel like it. I guess most questions can be answered by that.
6- Because you felt like it?
Basically.
6- If you could take back anything, what would it be?
Ummm, maybe the time I photocopied my face, then I'm guessing I wouldn't have needed the Lasik.
7- If you could give one piece of advice to other parents, what would it be?
That you can have a life and have kids, it just takes more effort, a lot more effort but MAKE it happen, healthy 'you' and 'couple' time equals a better mommy/parent. Other set backs of not getting out is the birth of talking to yourself, hence this interview.
8- (Silence)
Is that all you have?
9- I'm scared to hear anything else, so, basically yeah.
Hmph.
Valentines Day: Don't be a Hater
Almost everyone hates Valentines Day. " It's too commercial, why do I have show my love this day when I should show it everyday, the candy isn't even that good", blah, blah, blah. Don't get me wrong, Valentines day can be rough for someone who is perpetually single and has really bad luck with the opposite sex, which, trust me, was pretty much the definition of Holly Ferguson before I met my lover-lover Geoff. Still, I never had this hatred towards Valentines Day.
Though I've always been single minus one cheating, no good boyfriend that took me WAY too long to get over, I STILL liked Valentines Day. It reminds me of third grade, going around, placing my store bought Valentines Day cards in the home made "mail boxes" placed on each student's desk. I loved going through my mail box at the end of the day and reading all the cards from the boys in class whose cards never said a thing besides what was already designed by the card manufacturing company. Still, I thought the, "Have a GRRRREAT Valentines Day!" with a picture of Tony the Tiger meant that little Kevin liked me and thought I was the cutest, because, face it, I WAS!
As I got older, most Valentines nights were spent with friends or at work, pretty much, I was busy, had something to do, had friends that loved me and that was enough. Here I am though, married and able to celebrate February 14th all lovey-dovey with the one I love most and though I DO feel like I show him how much I love him as often as possible and NOT just on Valentines Day, Valentines Day gives me a platform to start from. A platform to help me figure out what to do. What to gift. Where to go.
To understand that reason, I guess you have to have to know a little fact about me.
I SUCK AT PRESENTS! I do! I HATE to give presents! They make me sooo nervous. I squirm at the fact that I might have to give a gift to someone. Birthdays, Christmas, anything, I HATE it! I'm not one to find the most perfect gift. I'm not one to remember those little hints I'm suppose to remember. I don't think too far ahead. Next week seems like an eternity away when in reality, I blink, and next week is here. So, I THINK I have all this time to present shop, the future catches up to me WAY faster than I expect it to, then I'm running to the mall frantically shopping for a present. NOTHING seems to fit the bill, I freak out and either A-Don't buy anything or B- Buy one of the worst gifts in history. I SUCK AT PRESENTS! I don't just suck at presents with friends, I really suck at getting presents for Geoff. Poor guy! He is GREAT at present giving. He knows what I want or need. He is romantic and thoughtful and amazing and always knows what he wants to get me in advance. Meanwhile I'm sweating over what to give him. Literally, sweating.
Let's talk about his Birthday. I knew it was coming up. I brainstormed for a month ahead of time, I thought of things and mentally crossed them off the list for some reason or another. Next thing I know, his birthday is less than a few hours away and I don't even have a card. Not even a card because I'm soo freaked out by what to get him, I just shut down. I actually pretended to be super hungry late that night so I had a reason to leave the house and find some birthday card last minute from Rite Aid. I don't have to say he didn't end up with a gift.
Christmas? We said we weren't going to going to do presents, maybe one small thing and that's it. We head to the store, split up and say we are going to meet back up in an hour. Five minutes later Geoff is done. Completely done. I'm running around looking at EVERYTHING. Does he need a pillowcase? A pair of shoes? Sham-Wow?! Hours go by and I have nothing. I finally ran into some place saw X Box games and thought, oh, he likes that. I grabbed a game and called it a day. By the way, do you know what I hate most in this house? Our damn X Box and THAT is what I gift Geoff. A freakin' X Box game. I HATE PRESENTS!
So here we are. Valentines day is coming up and I'm NOT sweating it. I don't HATE Valentines Day. Why? There is a theme. Love, romance, and all that stuff. My platform for gift giving (Though I still don't know what to get him! A hug?). My platform for planning a night. (It's my year to plan Valentines Day events.) Yes, it's very commercialized, very Hallmark, and VERY helpful when you are as lame as me and can't give a gift to save your life.
Moral: Don't let all the commercialism stop you from having a GRRRREAT Valentines Day, that is, unless you expect a present from me.
Though I've always been single minus one cheating, no good boyfriend that took me WAY too long to get over, I STILL liked Valentines Day. It reminds me of third grade, going around, placing my store bought Valentines Day cards in the home made "mail boxes" placed on each student's desk. I loved going through my mail box at the end of the day and reading all the cards from the boys in class whose cards never said a thing besides what was already designed by the card manufacturing company. Still, I thought the, "Have a GRRRREAT Valentines Day!" with a picture of Tony the Tiger meant that little Kevin liked me and thought I was the cutest, because, face it, I WAS!
As I got older, most Valentines nights were spent with friends or at work, pretty much, I was busy, had something to do, had friends that loved me and that was enough. Here I am though, married and able to celebrate February 14th all lovey-dovey with the one I love most and though I DO feel like I show him how much I love him as often as possible and NOT just on Valentines Day, Valentines Day gives me a platform to start from. A platform to help me figure out what to do. What to gift. Where to go.
To understand that reason, I guess you have to have to know a little fact about me.
I SUCK AT PRESENTS! I do! I HATE to give presents! They make me sooo nervous. I squirm at the fact that I might have to give a gift to someone. Birthdays, Christmas, anything, I HATE it! I'm not one to find the most perfect gift. I'm not one to remember those little hints I'm suppose to remember. I don't think too far ahead. Next week seems like an eternity away when in reality, I blink, and next week is here. So, I THINK I have all this time to present shop, the future catches up to me WAY faster than I expect it to, then I'm running to the mall frantically shopping for a present. NOTHING seems to fit the bill, I freak out and either A-Don't buy anything or B- Buy one of the worst gifts in history. I SUCK AT PRESENTS! I don't just suck at presents with friends, I really suck at getting presents for Geoff. Poor guy! He is GREAT at present giving. He knows what I want or need. He is romantic and thoughtful and amazing and always knows what he wants to get me in advance. Meanwhile I'm sweating over what to give him. Literally, sweating.
Let's talk about his Birthday. I knew it was coming up. I brainstormed for a month ahead of time, I thought of things and mentally crossed them off the list for some reason or another. Next thing I know, his birthday is less than a few hours away and I don't even have a card. Not even a card because I'm soo freaked out by what to get him, I just shut down. I actually pretended to be super hungry late that night so I had a reason to leave the house and find some birthday card last minute from Rite Aid. I don't have to say he didn't end up with a gift.
Christmas? We said we weren't going to going to do presents, maybe one small thing and that's it. We head to the store, split up and say we are going to meet back up in an hour. Five minutes later Geoff is done. Completely done. I'm running around looking at EVERYTHING. Does he need a pillowcase? A pair of shoes? Sham-Wow?! Hours go by and I have nothing. I finally ran into some place saw X Box games and thought, oh, he likes that. I grabbed a game and called it a day. By the way, do you know what I hate most in this house? Our damn X Box and THAT is what I gift Geoff. A freakin' X Box game. I HATE PRESENTS!
So here we are. Valentines day is coming up and I'm NOT sweating it. I don't HATE Valentines Day. Why? There is a theme. Love, romance, and all that stuff. My platform for gift giving (Though I still don't know what to get him! A hug?). My platform for planning a night. (It's my year to plan Valentines Day events.) Yes, it's very commercialized, very Hallmark, and VERY helpful when you are as lame as me and can't give a gift to save your life.
Moral: Don't let all the commercialism stop you from having a GRRRREAT Valentines Day, that is, unless you expect a present from me.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My Kind of Fairy Tale
Another great kids book that is fun for mommy to read to baby while baby doesn't understand what I'm saying.
The Stinky Cheese Man and other Fairly Stupid Tales
by Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith
The Really Ugly Duckling
"Once upon a time there was a mother duck and a father duck who had seven baby ducklings. Six of them were regular-looking ducklings. The seventh was a really ugly duckling.
Everyone used to say, "What a nice looking bunch of ducklings-all except that one. Boy, he's really ugly." The really ugly duckling heard these people, but he didn't care. He knew that one day he would probably grow up to be a swan and be bigger and look better than anything in the pond.
Well, as it turned out, he was just a really ugly duckling. And he grew up to be just a really ugly duck.
The end."
This is what you would get if I was an author of children's books!
The Stinky Cheese Man and other Fairly Stupid Tales
by Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith
The Really Ugly Duckling
"Once upon a time there was a mother duck and a father duck who had seven baby ducklings. Six of them were regular-looking ducklings. The seventh was a really ugly duckling.
Everyone used to say, "What a nice looking bunch of ducklings-all except that one. Boy, he's really ugly." The really ugly duckling heard these people, but he didn't care. He knew that one day he would probably grow up to be a swan and be bigger and look better than anything in the pond.
Well, as it turned out, he was just a really ugly duckling. And he grew up to be just a really ugly duck.
The end."
This is what you would get if I was an author of children's books!
How I Met My Husband
Phone Conversation-
Suzy:" So, I put your transfer from Fresno to Denver, I just know you will like it way better so I just did it for you. How do the flights look, are you going to make it to Denver today?"
Me really freakin' tired on my period and not feeling very good: "Cool, uhhh, yeah, I'm going to try and get on this flight."
I make the flight and am on my way to Denver. Suzy picks me up, shows me around the neighborhood where she lives and says tonight we are going downtown. I'm really exhausted. The plan: go to a baseball game.
We arrive downtown, park and head to spot we can drink margaritas before the game.
Everyone flakes on the plan. Guess there is no baseball game in the near future. Suzy calls a few people and we decide to head to some guys house named Geoff. Turns out we actually parked right in front of his place when searching for a margarita spot. Perfect!
The doorman lets us up to this guy Geoff's place.
I meet Geoff. Geoff is hot. Geoff is really hot. I like Geoff. Act cool Holly, act cool. No, I mean, be funny, show him that you are funny. Be cool and funny.
I try to be funny.
I'm wishing that I got some sleep the night before cause I'm looking pretty beat.
Geoff is damn hot. We head out for a few drinks with him and his roomie Dave.
Geoff and I talk... a lot.
Geoff scuba dives. I scuba dive! OMG, I think we are made for each other!
We are talking non-stop. He tells me what he does for a living and I don't really get it. Who cares, did I mention how hot this guy is?
Geoff likes Mac's, I have a Mac! He is sooo the one!
Mmmmm, I likey Geoff!
It's time to go and we say goodbye to Geoff and Dave. Geoff kisses my cheek but not Suzy's. Maybe he likes me?
On the drive home-
Me: "So, I've got a crush on someone but you already know that."
Suzy: " I know."
The next morning I head to the airport and try to get back to L.A. All the flights are booked and as a standby passenger I'm getting denied flight after flight.
Geoff emails me.
I email back.
He emails back.
I email back again. I like Geoff a lot.
This email thing goes on for a while and he says if I don't make the next flight he is going to pick me up and we are going to go out.
I don't make the next flight.
He picks me up.
We go out.
I like Goeff.
We have some wine, we have conversation and we have our fist kiss.
A few months later we say I do.
Today I don't likey Geoff, I'm crazy in love with him.
(Autumn, that was for you!)
Life of a Club Med G.O.
*** I wrote this a while ago when I met a journalist on vacation. His assignment was to document how club med has changed over the years. He wanted my input and for some reason, on my flight back to the mainland, this is what came out in my two hour journey. I have read it to my close friends, few club medders, and the journalist. (Is that how you spell medders?) I finally decided to put this on here after friends who knew this story told me I should. ( Yes, I would jump off a bridge if someone told me to...kidding.) While this is all true, in no way does everyone involve themselves in some of the risky activities described. This is what the insiders saw, knew,and usually couldn't believe. Club Med was a great part of my life, but just a part of my life.
Now for the story. Club Med from our view...
Opportunity, growth, and some SERIOUS change! "An all adult village in the Caribbean? Your totally going to change!" It was the reaction I received the majority of the time I informed those around me where I was going to work after graduation. I didn't get it or necessarily fully understand what I was getting myself into but it didn't take long. Day one I walk toward the restaurant for lunch, to my right are G.M.'s (the guests of the village, it stands for gracious member) lying on tables while the guys walking by perform pre-lunch body shots off of whichever girl they choose, or all if they like. I met one of my coworkers only to find him stumbling out a door a few hours later confused and looking around, "That was girl number two," he slurs while pointing to the room he just left, "girl number one is on the second floor, but girl three? I forgot her room number!"
Huh? Where am I working? A fresh college graduate and being the oldest virgin I knew, this was all so shocking, but refreshing at the same time. When word got out that I was a virgin, the guys called it 'the disease'. "I've got something that can help you with your disease!" Jon would yell across the pool with his crazy curly hair completely bleached by the sun. i would laugh as the girls followed him around like puppies.
"Look around," my fellow life guard said one day, "they could have sent a more experienced lifeguard here, you didn't get sent down for that."
"No I didn't, I got sent here to teach aerobics."
He shakes his head, "They didn't need that either, you got sent here because they thought you were cute. This is the hardest village to get into, we are sent here for our looks."
The change didn't happen right away, but rather a slow process instead. A few weeks pass and I am less disturbed when the sailing team discussed the blow-jobs they received while sailing random girls to the reef, or when I found out that a few guys got bored of 'doing' any girl they please, so they started up a competition, the first guy who goes through the whole alphabet in order wins with no one in between. First maybe an Ann, then Becky, Christina, and so forth and how few had trouble finding an I or an O girl.
There were rules too, so many rules. Say hi to everyone, greet them with your sunglasses off, its rude otherwise, always smile, and pour the water during meals. Drink with the G.M's, make them happy and laugh, you don't don't have to go home with them but at least make them think they had a shot. Speaking of shots, take them, and plenty of, never be late, ever! there are meetings, tons of meetings, be good at everything, be in all the shows, always look good, don't get fat, ever. Walk fast, suggest other sports, know the schedule of everything. Crazy signs, love crazy signs, or act like it. Invite the G.M.'s to do things with you. Always!
Because of this, the G.M's would love you, become obsessed with you, want to sleep with you the second they saw the name-tag, or that was the joke at least. We found websites about ourselves, polls of who they thought was the cutest, buffest, sweetest, who got with whom and so forth, and when they come back a month later were devastated we couldn't remember them. I meet about five hundred people a week, who are you again?
Change, I would change. Hearing the same questions over and over again at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, i would get annoyed, please don't ask me what I do, how long I've been here, what I'm doing after. My conversations used to be so genuine, I become callused, we all become callused. We make friends with you, maybe, really enjoy your company, like you, want to keep in touch, but you, the G.M, the guest leaves and we stay. Its hard at first and soon you begin to not care. Keep in touch? Definitely. Until your replace one week later by another G.M. who is cute, likes to drink, makes me laugh. We are G.O.'s (the workers) and get distracted easy. Sorry. We all grow less genuine, more callused. We change and Club Med changes. Rules change and our lives are engulfed in this fantasy land where there are no bills, no real responsibilities, where finding someone to crave you is a s simple as a glance, or just them seeing you star in a show in a thong and bikini top. Rules: The G.M.'s can buy you drinks, wait, no, the G.M.'s cant buy you drinks. So, we find every opportunity to outsmart the rules an have the G.M.'s randomly place drinks somewhere slightly deserted where we (the G.O.'s) would perform the pick-up one minute later, thirst satisfied. The rules change again, the G.M.'s can buy you drinks The rules engulf us, control us, and the longer your a G.O., the more you lose touch with yourself, your own rules and decisions, you change. its hard to be real in fantasy world where the reputation, hard to accept is true, its a crazy place with sex galore. Or, opportunity, opportunity to scuba, sail, windsurf, trapeze, aerobics, snorkel, blow-jobs, threesomes, and public displays of serious affection. Try getting you sunset yoga class to focus on their one leg balance pose while a couple is having sex in the warm salt water twenty feet away. However, we heard the club was changing, keeping up with the times, being 'politically correct', pursuing 'upscaleness'. I laughed. We all change.
The body shots stop, the hookups become more of an elaborate plan. "You, walk behind that building and I'll meet you there in two minutes so no one sees us walk away together." One of my friends received a note written on the back of a paper place-mat during dinner with just a girls name, her room number, and what time to meet her there. Wow, thats forward. But, how could Club Med change, grow, when some of the stories were too great? One guy was pissed when he realized the girl he went home with the night before was actually our gay male bartender dressed up as Roxy from Chicago. One of the scuba instructors video taped himself having sex with a G.M. in the scuba instructions room and forgot to take out the tape before the G.O. Christmas party. The divers were shocked when they thought they were going to watch a scuba slidesow during dinner. No one ever looked at that table the same.
New G.O.s came and we would have bets on how long they would stay. Two weeks for the painter acting as a bartender. Life for the overly hyper landsports instructor We were usually right. We also did anything to get out of the village, even if that meant re-locating a table and chairs out of a bedroom window to have a mini G.O. party of drinking games outside of the village. But the Chief (our boss) would find out, because he had eyes everywhere and we all change, and some leave, and some stay, and soon I leave the fantasy world. Funny, one of the more difficult things about working for Club Med is not the initial leaving of home to work, rather its coming back and adjusting to normalcy. Nobody made my egg white omelettes for me in the morning. I wasn't the name everyone knew on the streets of L.A. like on the sidewalks of Turks. You have to pay for things here. Weird. But most of all, nobody understood unless you have been there and even more so worked there, you wouldn't understand. I hear, "Holly, you've changed." Yes, I left Club Med without "the disease" only because I had a boyfriend while I was there, but that wasn't it. It was Club Med. But, I adjust, and change again to fit into this place called Reality and grow into a person who remembers island life but functions on the mainland with opportunities higher than any Club Med could offer but its difficult. Its difficult to find a job and be happy in it after Club Med. Its difficult to stay fit as you were, even if you do teach aerobics and as bad as it sounds its difficult to find someone you like in this world of boundaries and limitations, but you talk to ex-G.O.'s, and share the bond no one else will understand, laugh at the insanity of it all and amaze yourselves that you lived like you did. We grow.
Two years later, I'm on the other side of the coin; a G.M. at the village I used to work at. I sit down and endure the fake smiles and ingenuine questions, until they find out I once was an employee: fitness G.O. They relax, genuinely laugh, and tell real stories, see me as one of them, and they change. I see G.O.'s who I used to work with back in our earlier days, and though they look the same on the outside, its the inside thats so fake I don't recognize their personalities. "You've changed." I tell them but they know. And Club Med in its pursuit of upscale status has done the exact opposite of an experienced G.O. The outside has changed, newer rooms, nicer pool furniture, but its the inside, the core where the same steamy hookups, and dirty talk reside.
Above all, being back in this fantasy land, I see you become more callused in Club Med, and more genuine away with the opportunity to take advantage of all the good and absurd Club Med has to offer, or, to leave, and no matter what, everyone in every way, all of us, G.O.'s past and present grow as we pursue different opportunities and change. Looking back as a G.M. I see it as an insiders view from the outside. The teetering way in which change manifests itself within us, and even now, as I'm again back in the real world, working at my real job, I've never appreciated that process more so than today, the opportunities I've had, the growth I've experienced and the changes I love.
Now for the story. Club Med from our view...
Opportunity, growth, and some SERIOUS change! "An all adult village in the Caribbean? Your totally going to change!" It was the reaction I received the majority of the time I informed those around me where I was going to work after graduation. I didn't get it or necessarily fully understand what I was getting myself into but it didn't take long. Day one I walk toward the restaurant for lunch, to my right are G.M.'s (the guests of the village, it stands for gracious member) lying on tables while the guys walking by perform pre-lunch body shots off of whichever girl they choose, or all if they like. I met one of my coworkers only to find him stumbling out a door a few hours later confused and looking around, "That was girl number two," he slurs while pointing to the room he just left, "girl number one is on the second floor, but girl three? I forgot her room number!"
Huh? Where am I working? A fresh college graduate and being the oldest virgin I knew, this was all so shocking, but refreshing at the same time. When word got out that I was a virgin, the guys called it 'the disease'. "I've got something that can help you with your disease!" Jon would yell across the pool with his crazy curly hair completely bleached by the sun. i would laugh as the girls followed him around like puppies.
"Look around," my fellow life guard said one day, "they could have sent a more experienced lifeguard here, you didn't get sent down for that."
"No I didn't, I got sent here to teach aerobics."
He shakes his head, "They didn't need that either, you got sent here because they thought you were cute. This is the hardest village to get into, we are sent here for our looks."
The change didn't happen right away, but rather a slow process instead. A few weeks pass and I am less disturbed when the sailing team discussed the blow-jobs they received while sailing random girls to the reef, or when I found out that a few guys got bored of 'doing' any girl they please, so they started up a competition, the first guy who goes through the whole alphabet in order wins with no one in between. First maybe an Ann, then Becky, Christina, and so forth and how few had trouble finding an I or an O girl.
There were rules too, so many rules. Say hi to everyone, greet them with your sunglasses off, its rude otherwise, always smile, and pour the water during meals. Drink with the G.M's, make them happy and laugh, you don't don't have to go home with them but at least make them think they had a shot. Speaking of shots, take them, and plenty of, never be late, ever! there are meetings, tons of meetings, be good at everything, be in all the shows, always look good, don't get fat, ever. Walk fast, suggest other sports, know the schedule of everything. Crazy signs, love crazy signs, or act like it. Invite the G.M.'s to do things with you. Always!
Because of this, the G.M's would love you, become obsessed with you, want to sleep with you the second they saw the name-tag, or that was the joke at least. We found websites about ourselves, polls of who they thought was the cutest, buffest, sweetest, who got with whom and so forth, and when they come back a month later were devastated we couldn't remember them. I meet about five hundred people a week, who are you again?
Change, I would change. Hearing the same questions over and over again at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, i would get annoyed, please don't ask me what I do, how long I've been here, what I'm doing after. My conversations used to be so genuine, I become callused, we all become callused. We make friends with you, maybe, really enjoy your company, like you, want to keep in touch, but you, the G.M, the guest leaves and we stay. Its hard at first and soon you begin to not care. Keep in touch? Definitely. Until your replace one week later by another G.M. who is cute, likes to drink, makes me laugh. We are G.O.'s (the workers) and get distracted easy. Sorry. We all grow less genuine, more callused. We change and Club Med changes. Rules change and our lives are engulfed in this fantasy land where there are no bills, no real responsibilities, where finding someone to crave you is a s simple as a glance, or just them seeing you star in a show in a thong and bikini top. Rules: The G.M.'s can buy you drinks, wait, no, the G.M.'s cant buy you drinks. So, we find every opportunity to outsmart the rules an have the G.M.'s randomly place drinks somewhere slightly deserted where we (the G.O.'s) would perform the pick-up one minute later, thirst satisfied. The rules change again, the G.M.'s can buy you drinks The rules engulf us, control us, and the longer your a G.O., the more you lose touch with yourself, your own rules and decisions, you change. its hard to be real in fantasy world where the reputation, hard to accept is true, its a crazy place with sex galore. Or, opportunity, opportunity to scuba, sail, windsurf, trapeze, aerobics, snorkel, blow-jobs, threesomes, and public displays of serious affection. Try getting you sunset yoga class to focus on their one leg balance pose while a couple is having sex in the warm salt water twenty feet away. However, we heard the club was changing, keeping up with the times, being 'politically correct', pursuing 'upscaleness'. I laughed. We all change.
The body shots stop, the hookups become more of an elaborate plan. "You, walk behind that building and I'll meet you there in two minutes so no one sees us walk away together." One of my friends received a note written on the back of a paper place-mat during dinner with just a girls name, her room number, and what time to meet her there. Wow, thats forward. But, how could Club Med change, grow, when some of the stories were too great? One guy was pissed when he realized the girl he went home with the night before was actually our gay male bartender dressed up as Roxy from Chicago. One of the scuba instructors video taped himself having sex with a G.M. in the scuba instructions room and forgot to take out the tape before the G.O. Christmas party. The divers were shocked when they thought they were going to watch a scuba slidesow during dinner. No one ever looked at that table the same.
New G.O.s came and we would have bets on how long they would stay. Two weeks for the painter acting as a bartender. Life for the overly hyper landsports instructor We were usually right. We also did anything to get out of the village, even if that meant re-locating a table and chairs out of a bedroom window to have a mini G.O. party of drinking games outside of the village. But the Chief (our boss) would find out, because he had eyes everywhere and we all change, and some leave, and some stay, and soon I leave the fantasy world. Funny, one of the more difficult things about working for Club Med is not the initial leaving of home to work, rather its coming back and adjusting to normalcy. Nobody made my egg white omelettes for me in the morning. I wasn't the name everyone knew on the streets of L.A. like on the sidewalks of Turks. You have to pay for things here. Weird. But most of all, nobody understood unless you have been there and even more so worked there, you wouldn't understand. I hear, "Holly, you've changed." Yes, I left Club Med without "the disease" only because I had a boyfriend while I was there, but that wasn't it. It was Club Med. But, I adjust, and change again to fit into this place called Reality and grow into a person who remembers island life but functions on the mainland with opportunities higher than any Club Med could offer but its difficult. Its difficult to find a job and be happy in it after Club Med. Its difficult to stay fit as you were, even if you do teach aerobics and as bad as it sounds its difficult to find someone you like in this world of boundaries and limitations, but you talk to ex-G.O.'s, and share the bond no one else will understand, laugh at the insanity of it all and amaze yourselves that you lived like you did. We grow.
Two years later, I'm on the other side of the coin; a G.M. at the village I used to work at. I sit down and endure the fake smiles and ingenuine questions, until they find out I once was an employee: fitness G.O. They relax, genuinely laugh, and tell real stories, see me as one of them, and they change. I see G.O.'s who I used to work with back in our earlier days, and though they look the same on the outside, its the inside thats so fake I don't recognize their personalities. "You've changed." I tell them but they know. And Club Med in its pursuit of upscale status has done the exact opposite of an experienced G.O. The outside has changed, newer rooms, nicer pool furniture, but its the inside, the core where the same steamy hookups, and dirty talk reside.
Above all, being back in this fantasy land, I see you become more callused in Club Med, and more genuine away with the opportunity to take advantage of all the good and absurd Club Med has to offer, or, to leave, and no matter what, everyone in every way, all of us, G.O.'s past and present grow as we pursue different opportunities and change. Looking back as a G.M. I see it as an insiders view from the outside. The teetering way in which change manifests itself within us, and even now, as I'm again back in the real world, working at my real job, I've never appreciated that process more so than today, the opportunities I've had, the growth I've experienced and the changes I love.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Proof I Didn't Need Another Glass of Wine. Memories!
It's amazing all the things you miss when you aren't able to stay up much past 8 p.m. It's amazing what you miss when you no longer close the bars down, or when you no longer travel from city to city hanging with the locals who are always bringing you to places hoping to make you think that where they live is indeed the BEST place to live EVER. I'm going though an old notebook trying to find where I wrote all my fun aerobic combinations, instead I'm finding old stories, old letters. Here are a few adventures I'm re-living as I'm going through that notebook.
Flashing Kilt wearing men in Ottawa asking if my boyfriends have ever measured up to them. (Owwww, my EYES!)
Walking into the hotel in San Francisco to be greeted with a huge Kublicon convention and all their game addict glory and then dragging our angry friend to see it too. "Power to the Kublicon!"
Kids in The Bronx playing a little game called "You got a PROBLEM?!?!". It's like freeze tag except a lot of yelling is involved. Only in New York.
Replacing water with real Vodka in my friend Jill's Vodka bottle before she went out and performed her part (Lola, she was a showgirl!) in the club med show.
Preparing to go on a horrible double date with guys that were way too into us and dressing as bad as possible, realizing that your outfit really doesn't matter!
Sitting out in the sun for over an hour just to satisfy our curiosity as to why there was a huge water tank in the middle of the Taste of Chicago. We were rewarded with the worst mermaid show in history and a sun burn.
Fake stealing from a friend in front of strangers just to see the look on their face and if they were honest enough to stop me.
Falling off stage while trying to complete a turn like my boss did and the only thing people could say was, I'm glad she didn't knock over the beer. Thanks people, I see where your priorities are!
Lighting my hand on fire while grabbing one of the shots on fire, (I'm drunk, don't light my drinks up!) and waving it around like it was the new sparkler in town.
I've had some good times, oh yes (closing my eyes), some really good times!
P.S. No harm to the hand in the writing of this blog.
Monday, January 19, 2009
My Kid is so Damn Smart!
Sawyer sees me and Geoff on the computer often. Geoff works with computers so obviously he is on a lot, and I use it for the occasional e-mail, to blog and to generally just pass time as Sawyer is eating off the booby. Thing is, Sawyer thinks he has this whole computer thing down, mostly because of this game I found online. (http://www.fisher-price.com/us/playtime/games/infantGames_A_BS.asp) It's a cause and effect game where Sawyer pounds on the keys and fun, colorful things pop up that make cool noises each time. He loves it! After playing for a few minutes, I'll get on and try to check on something and Sawyer just looks at me like, Mom, what do you think you are doing? Obviously you don't know how to use this like I do. Stuff doesn't pop up when YOU are on it mommy, so just stop and handover this crazy toy. I have to peel him away from this game, it's pretty comical.
TODAY however was different. Yes, he looked at me wondering why the Hell I thought I was qualified to use this thing called the computer, but he also thought he would do some computer investigating of his own.
The understanding of object permanence is understanding that even though something is not in sight does not mean it escaped off the edge of the earth. I walk out of the room, he doesn't see me, but knows I'm still in the house. Today, he investigated object permanence of the internet. You see, he would press a button and some sort of cute, colorful animal would appear with a BING. He pressed another button and the animal disappears. Where does it go? If mommy doesn't leave planet earth when I don't have her in sight, then OBVIOUSLY the colorful, obnoxious bunny does not either, right?! The bunny would disappear and Sawyer would pull the computer screen toward him, turn the lap top around and look behind it. He looks at me perplexed, nope, not there. He closes the laptop and no bunny. He flips the laptop over and then back again, looking at me strangely. WHERE IS THAT DAMN BUNNY!?!!
This game is suppose to teach him cause and effect, I think it's also making him rethink this whole object permanence thing.
Well, you win some and lose some. Please stand by for a few weeks when you will read an angry blog stating Sawyer smashed my laptop trying to find all the animals. Where area all those cute dang animals?!?!?!
TODAY however was different. Yes, he looked at me wondering why the Hell I thought I was qualified to use this thing called the computer, but he also thought he would do some computer investigating of his own.
The understanding of object permanence is understanding that even though something is not in sight does not mean it escaped off the edge of the earth. I walk out of the room, he doesn't see me, but knows I'm still in the house. Today, he investigated object permanence of the internet. You see, he would press a button and some sort of cute, colorful animal would appear with a BING. He pressed another button and the animal disappears. Where does it go? If mommy doesn't leave planet earth when I don't have her in sight, then OBVIOUSLY the colorful, obnoxious bunny does not either, right?! The bunny would disappear and Sawyer would pull the computer screen toward him, turn the lap top around and look behind it. He looks at me perplexed, nope, not there. He closes the laptop and no bunny. He flips the laptop over and then back again, looking at me strangely. WHERE IS THAT DAMN BUNNY!?!!
This game is suppose to teach him cause and effect, I think it's also making him rethink this whole object permanence thing.
Well, you win some and lose some. Please stand by for a few weeks when you will read an angry blog stating Sawyer smashed my laptop trying to find all the animals. Where area all those cute dang animals?!?!?!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
US Airways
As an ex-flight attendant and a frequent traveler, my heart can't help but skip a beat whenever I hear of a crash. US Airways plane crashes into the Hudson River today, January 15, 2009.
Current news reporting 148 passengers on the plane are now off and alive. News is reporting a bird strike may have caused an engine blow forcing the pilots to crash land in water. To the crew on that plane: A crash landing and every passenger is off and alive? Good job! Damn good job! I can't fathom a plane crashing. I can't tell you how many flights I have been on, what type of turbulence I have been though and in no way do I ever imagine that the plane I could be on may crash. Never. I do know that a safe evacuation of a FULL plane takes a lot of professionalism from all aspects, pilots, flight attendants and passengers.
I guess I just want to extend my gratitude toward the pilots who landed IN WATER safely, the flight attendants who constantly prepare a plane and their passengers each and every flight for a disaster they hope does not happen and the passengers who were able to open those doors and evacuate calmly with everyone in mind and not just themselves. Sometimes humanity gives me hope.
Current news reporting 148 passengers on the plane are now off and alive. News is reporting a bird strike may have caused an engine blow forcing the pilots to crash land in water. To the crew on that plane: A crash landing and every passenger is off and alive? Good job! Damn good job! I can't fathom a plane crashing. I can't tell you how many flights I have been on, what type of turbulence I have been though and in no way do I ever imagine that the plane I could be on may crash. Never. I do know that a safe evacuation of a FULL plane takes a lot of professionalism from all aspects, pilots, flight attendants and passengers.
I guess I just want to extend my gratitude toward the pilots who landed IN WATER safely, the flight attendants who constantly prepare a plane and their passengers each and every flight for a disaster they hope does not happen and the passengers who were able to open those doors and evacuate calmly with everyone in mind and not just themselves. Sometimes humanity gives me hope.
Chicago Memories
There is a paper in Chicago with a section titled, Missed Connections. People write in to their possible future lover they never officially met but lust after on the train or in the coffee shop, or wherever they happen to first see this person. These were my favorite articles to read. I always wanted to publish one like this...
Missed Connections:
YOU: Reading a book in your small red and white long sleeve shirt.
ME: Staring at you through your living room window.
YOU: Turning your head every few minutes to the sound you think you heard outside.
ME: Throwing pebbles at the window so you turn and glance my way.
YOU: Slightly alarmed, close the blinds. You look so cute worried.
ME: Dressed in black head to toe, squinting through the gap between the blinds and the window sill. Won't you open your blinds again?
Meet me: Your parents house next Saturday. Don't worry, I already know where they live.
Missed Connections:
YOU: Reading a book in your small red and white long sleeve shirt.
ME: Staring at you through your living room window.
YOU: Turning your head every few minutes to the sound you think you heard outside.
ME: Throwing pebbles at the window so you turn and glance my way.
YOU: Slightly alarmed, close the blinds. You look so cute worried.
ME: Dressed in black head to toe, squinting through the gap between the blinds and the window sill. Won't you open your blinds again?
Meet me: Your parents house next Saturday. Don't worry, I already know where they live.
That's NOT My BABY!
I've been having a lot of odd dreams lately. Like, really odd! Last night's dream wasn't necessarily odd but rather one that made me think. Yes people, sometimes I think.
Last night's dream: A few people have been whispering in my ear that Sawyer doesn't look like me OR like Geoff. He was the exact opposite looking of a baby we could create. Later we get a call from the hospital claiming the 'real' parents of Sawyer have our baby. Yes, our babies were switched in the hospital and WE were able to choose the next plan of action. Would we keep the baby that was not ours but the baby that we raised and loved immensely or did we trade him in for the baby that really grew in my uterus?
That is when I woke up.
It got me thinking. What would happen if I got a call like that? How would I feel? What would I want to do?
You?
Last night's dream: A few people have been whispering in my ear that Sawyer doesn't look like me OR like Geoff. He was the exact opposite looking of a baby we could create. Later we get a call from the hospital claiming the 'real' parents of Sawyer have our baby. Yes, our babies were switched in the hospital and WE were able to choose the next plan of action. Would we keep the baby that was not ours but the baby that we raised and loved immensely or did we trade him in for the baby that really grew in my uterus?
That is when I woke up.
It got me thinking. What would happen if I got a call like that? How would I feel? What would I want to do?
You?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Best Skier Ever
So, I didn't tell you guys about my skiing adventure this weekend. I'll just say, I don't disappoint. Expect to see me on some pretty serious ski videos soon. You know, the ones where the mountain is not a mountain but some sheer cliff, where I parachute down to my skiing destination, jumping off crap with some avalanche chasing me. Yeah, I'm that good. A little preview to my ski awesomeness: I did a double black diamond on Saturday.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
On Another Note
You guys voted. Not many of you, but this is a democracy and the name stays the same. What Was I Saying Again?
Nothing but a Sabotage
My husband is mad at me today and I can't help but find it hilarious. I'm cracking up. He thinks I'm trying to sabotoge his XBox game by placing Sawyer in front of his toys (that happen to be near where he is playing his stupid game) which turns into Sawyer crying in front of his toys and Geoff is THEN not able to concentrate on his stupid (Did I mention I think the games are stupid?) online war game he is playing with the thirteen year olds with no life. Ummm, hello, how old are you husband? Anyway moms, don't you love that your children behave perfectly every time you are trying to get something done? They magically understand that mom is busy and behave like angels? Yeah right! Just when you attempt to get something accomplished is when all Hell breaks loose, three hours go by and not a damn thing gets done. Why? Because you are a mom. So, I'm finding my hubby's anger slightly entertaining. Don't you?
Silly husband, silly, silly husband.
Silly husband, silly, silly husband.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Take it to the Hoop
Last night we got invited to go to a basketball game. This was my fist pro basketball game and it was a blast! Well, the game was fun and the beer was a blast...
P.S. I found my camera!!!
P.S. I found my camera!!!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Copy Cat of a Momversation.com
Momversatin.com in case you have not heard of it is a few popular mom bloggers discussing certain issues and how they feel or deal with them. This last momversation was about being a mom versus being a wife and which one is more difficult. I think that poses an interesting question.
I was told that the first year of marriage is the most difficult and if you can get through that time, you can get through almost anything. Something to do with living together, figuring out each others quirks, little things you may do that may hurt the other and vice versa, I don't know. If that is the case, I going to have the easiest marriage ever! Being married to Geoff is maybe one of the easiest things I have ever experienced. We mesh, like really well. I know, you are all thinking, good cause that is your husband. But really, I get along better with him than almost anyone else. On top of that he is really smart, a great cook, incredibly sweet, insanely handsome. I mean, did I score or did I score?! I really can't imagine my life without this guy. I am sure we will go through some rough patches, but being married rocks. I don't see it as difficult. I don't see it as a chore. I don't see it as this "prison I can't escape". Marriage was a choice I made. Marriage was something I felt happened to people when and if they were lucky to meet someone who really is their other half. I think a good point someone brought up is that their parents did not have the best marriage and seeing that marriage isn't all roses, a real prince doesn't come pick you up in his armor, you are married to a man, a man, not this fairy tale thing and realizing THAT made a lasting marriage a more obtainable goal. No, I did not have a great example of what marriage was, I had a great example of what marriage shouldn't be and I feel that makes me feel all the luckier. Lucky I found Geoff, lucky he liked me back, lucky we go together as perfectly as we do, lucky that I know fights happen and you can work through them, lucky to know that communication really is just about the most important thing in a marriage, just really freakin' lucky.
Parenthood. I always wanted to be a mommy. I thought I would be a good one, I mean, I think I am a pretty good one. Yes, I feel like for the most part it comes natural. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. Suddenly every step I took mattered, I imagined all the things I would to to protect this little thing growing inside me. My mind was completely occupied by baby thoughts CONSTANTLY! Once Sawyer was born, a few things made me nervous, like cleaning his belly button and making sure he got enough milk, but for the most part I just knew what to do. I did what I felt was right. I loved him, a lot, and knew from that point on I would do anything in this world to protect him.
I guess the odd thing is, in terms of Geoff and Sawyer, I don't find myself FEELING one is more difficult, or a chore. I feel incredibly strong love towards both, even when Geoff plays XBox and ignores other things I feel need to be done (like me, haha get it?) , or if Sawyer is demanding attention 24 hours a day or pukes on my new shirt, I'm crazy in love with them BOTH. I feel insanely protective of BOTH. I would rip someone in half if they ever tried to hurt Sawyer, when Geoff's friends do something to hurt his feelings, you can bet I'm way more pissed than he is. I'm just protective of the people I love. If I did really think about it, and put my strong lovey, protective feelings aside,and I had to make a choice, Sawyer would be the more difficult one. Yes, parenting comes natural, yes, you have an intense love for them pretty much right away, but when it comes down to it, I can tell Geoff that I'm not in a cooking mood and dinner is his responsibility for the night. I can't tell Sawyer that. I don't wipe the crap off of Geoff's butt crack. I don't have to leave early because it's Geoff's nap time. He doesn't spit up in public. He doesn't give new people a dirty look and then cry.
Which is more difficult? I guess parenting. However, that doesn't mean that I feel it IS difficult. I'm enamoured by the fact that I get to be a mommy. The act of caring for a child for me is an out of this world feeling that I love. The thing that tops the cake, that just makes me REALLY lucky is this undying love I feel towards my child is as strong as the one I feel towards my husband, XBox games and all.
I was told that the first year of marriage is the most difficult and if you can get through that time, you can get through almost anything. Something to do with living together, figuring out each others quirks, little things you may do that may hurt the other and vice versa, I don't know. If that is the case, I going to have the easiest marriage ever! Being married to Geoff is maybe one of the easiest things I have ever experienced. We mesh, like really well. I know, you are all thinking, good cause that is your husband. But really, I get along better with him than almost anyone else. On top of that he is really smart, a great cook, incredibly sweet, insanely handsome. I mean, did I score or did I score?! I really can't imagine my life without this guy. I am sure we will go through some rough patches, but being married rocks. I don't see it as difficult. I don't see it as a chore. I don't see it as this "prison I can't escape". Marriage was a choice I made. Marriage was something I felt happened to people when and if they were lucky to meet someone who really is their other half. I think a good point someone brought up is that their parents did not have the best marriage and seeing that marriage isn't all roses, a real prince doesn't come pick you up in his armor, you are married to a man, a man, not this fairy tale thing and realizing THAT made a lasting marriage a more obtainable goal. No, I did not have a great example of what marriage was, I had a great example of what marriage shouldn't be and I feel that makes me feel all the luckier. Lucky I found Geoff, lucky he liked me back, lucky we go together as perfectly as we do, lucky that I know fights happen and you can work through them, lucky to know that communication really is just about the most important thing in a marriage, just really freakin' lucky.
Parenthood. I always wanted to be a mommy. I thought I would be a good one, I mean, I think I am a pretty good one. Yes, I feel like for the most part it comes natural. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. Suddenly every step I took mattered, I imagined all the things I would to to protect this little thing growing inside me. My mind was completely occupied by baby thoughts CONSTANTLY! Once Sawyer was born, a few things made me nervous, like cleaning his belly button and making sure he got enough milk, but for the most part I just knew what to do. I did what I felt was right. I loved him, a lot, and knew from that point on I would do anything in this world to protect him.
I guess the odd thing is, in terms of Geoff and Sawyer, I don't find myself FEELING one is more difficult, or a chore. I feel incredibly strong love towards both, even when Geoff plays XBox and ignores other things I feel need to be done (like me, haha get it?) , or if Sawyer is demanding attention 24 hours a day or pukes on my new shirt, I'm crazy in love with them BOTH. I feel insanely protective of BOTH. I would rip someone in half if they ever tried to hurt Sawyer, when Geoff's friends do something to hurt his feelings, you can bet I'm way more pissed than he is. I'm just protective of the people I love. If I did really think about it, and put my strong lovey, protective feelings aside,and I had to make a choice, Sawyer would be the more difficult one. Yes, parenting comes natural, yes, you have an intense love for them pretty much right away, but when it comes down to it, I can tell Geoff that I'm not in a cooking mood and dinner is his responsibility for the night. I can't tell Sawyer that. I don't wipe the crap off of Geoff's butt crack. I don't have to leave early because it's Geoff's nap time. He doesn't spit up in public. He doesn't give new people a dirty look and then cry.
Which is more difficult? I guess parenting. However, that doesn't mean that I feel it IS difficult. I'm enamoured by the fact that I get to be a mommy. The act of caring for a child for me is an out of this world feeling that I love. The thing that tops the cake, that just makes me REALLY lucky is this undying love I feel towards my child is as strong as the one I feel towards my husband, XBox games and all.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Just So You Know
If you are wondering where all my pictures are, I can't find my camera.
And now a song...
Where are you camera?
Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away-ya-eeey-yay-ay? (Add a lot of intonation and all that singer lingo here.)
Anyway, I'm sure it's somewhere it is suppose to be. I've always been good at losing things and finding it in some organized spot I don't normally put it. When is that day everyone cleans a lot and organizes everything? I hope not soon.
And now a song...
Where are you camera?
Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away-ya-eeey-yay-ay? (Add a lot of intonation and all that singer lingo here.)
Anyway, I'm sure it's somewhere it is suppose to be. I've always been good at losing things and finding it in some organized spot I don't normally put it. When is that day everyone cleans a lot and organizes everything? I hope not soon.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Dear Sawyer, SEVEN MONTHS!
Seventeen years and five months until you get the boot! That is how we count your age now and for some reason it cracks us up. No, we don't hate you, no we don't want to kick you out, we just think saying stuff like that in front of other people is hilarious! Daddy also likes to say, "I haven't beat you for two days now." and "Keep crying and I'll drive you right to the fire station!" Oh man, it makes us laugh but everyone knows, we love you like nothing else. You are half me and half daddy, I don't have to say how great that makes you. I mean, I'm pretty damn awesome, and your daddy is spectacular, so hello, that makes you freakin' GREAT! Boy, are you lucky!
This month you have been really clingy to me. You only want your mommy. Yes, I am the food source and that makes me really important, but some days this month you would not have anything to do with anything or anyone else. Daddy would pick you up and you would scream, reaching for me. You would push Daddy's face out of the way and scream until you were in my arms. Yes, I love that you love me and want to hang out with your mama, but sometimes it wasn't very nice and really hurt daddy's feelings. I think the clinginess had something to do with us traveling... again!
This month you got to spend almost a week in California. A few days in Los Angeles and a few days in San Diego. You had to sleep in your car seat, your schedule was WAY off, you had new people all around you constantly and that had a toll on you. I think after all of that you wanted to make sure that mommy was yours and I was there when you needed me. I am yours. I will do everything in my power to provide you with all the things that you need. Though your clinginess gets tiring, I'm cherishing the time. Soon you will have nothing to do with me. Mommy will be sooo un-cool and when that happens I'm going to cry like a little baby, I will be sooo sad... then I will become the really un-cool mommy just to embarrass you... but you already know that, I talk about being able to embarrass you A LOT!
Grandma flew into Denver and we spent a few days in Keystone. Mommy and Daddy got to ski together whenever we wanted while you hung out with Grandma. It's funny, you were not into anyone else but me for a while but you were into Grandma this week. I think you guys had a lot of fun hanging out. One night me and Daddy got back to the condo and Grandma said you were pretty upset, were looking around for me crying out, "Mamamamama!!!" OMG, Did you say Mama?! Did you really say Mama?! I wasn't sure I believed it and figured it was your way of crying. The next day I was in the kitchen and you wanted me again. You cried and in the middle of crying said it again, "Mamamamama!" You cried it until you saw me, reached your hands out for me to pick you up (Man, do I love how you reach for me!!!) and said it again, "mamamamama" until you were in my arms. I heard it one more time, you cried "mamamama" looking and reaching to me. Grandma and Daddy are sure you are saying Mama now. I think you are too but am still too shocked to really believe it. You didn't say it any other time crying. You didn't say it while reaching for anyone else, just me, your mama!
You still don't like tummy time. I keep trying to put you in the crawling position but you collapse and cry. I don't know why I want you to crawl so bad. Once it happens, I'll never have an ounce of sit down time, you will be EVERYWHERE!
You are really enjoying your home-made baby food. Pears are your favorite now. Broccoli not so much! You make the worst face when I give you that green mush, swallow it down then gag it back up. It's sooo comical!
You are drinking a little water here and there out of a big boy cup, not a sippy cup, a real big cup!
You still love to stand, balance on daddy's hands, and like to take little steps while holding my hands. Man, you are cute!
Several people have complimented on the way Daddy and I raise you. How we are strict on certain things but still super loving. How we travel with you, introduce you to many different things, how we don't baby talk to you, encourage sign language, read a ton, how we are really serious about breast feeding and kept it up without ever having to give you formula, but more than anything how we teach you to soothe yourself. It's pretty amazing that other people can already see the work we consciencely put into raising you. These are decisions we made before you were created. These were decisions that we made based on a lot of research, books, and experience I had as a pre-school teacher at one of the strictest schools I have heard of. You are impressive and I can't believe that other people can see it as well and take me aside to seriously compliment those efforts. Some of those things were not soo easy, AT ALL, but I felt were super important for your growth, health, maturity, sleep patters, future education and many other aspects of your life. Thanks for keeping up with our standards kid!
I love you little guy and now I know that you love me too! Like, you really love me. (Show dada some love too, he would really appreciate it!) Thanks for being one of the coolest things to ever come into our life!
Your Mamamamamama!!!
This month you have been really clingy to me. You only want your mommy. Yes, I am the food source and that makes me really important, but some days this month you would not have anything to do with anything or anyone else. Daddy would pick you up and you would scream, reaching for me. You would push Daddy's face out of the way and scream until you were in my arms. Yes, I love that you love me and want to hang out with your mama, but sometimes it wasn't very nice and really hurt daddy's feelings. I think the clinginess had something to do with us traveling... again!
This month you got to spend almost a week in California. A few days in Los Angeles and a few days in San Diego. You had to sleep in your car seat, your schedule was WAY off, you had new people all around you constantly and that had a toll on you. I think after all of that you wanted to make sure that mommy was yours and I was there when you needed me. I am yours. I will do everything in my power to provide you with all the things that you need. Though your clinginess gets tiring, I'm cherishing the time. Soon you will have nothing to do with me. Mommy will be sooo un-cool and when that happens I'm going to cry like a little baby, I will be sooo sad... then I will become the really un-cool mommy just to embarrass you... but you already know that, I talk about being able to embarrass you A LOT!
Grandma flew into Denver and we spent a few days in Keystone. Mommy and Daddy got to ski together whenever we wanted while you hung out with Grandma. It's funny, you were not into anyone else but me for a while but you were into Grandma this week. I think you guys had a lot of fun hanging out. One night me and Daddy got back to the condo and Grandma said you were pretty upset, were looking around for me crying out, "Mamamamama!!!" OMG, Did you say Mama?! Did you really say Mama?! I wasn't sure I believed it and figured it was your way of crying. The next day I was in the kitchen and you wanted me again. You cried and in the middle of crying said it again, "Mamamamama!" You cried it until you saw me, reached your hands out for me to pick you up (Man, do I love how you reach for me!!!) and said it again, "mamamamama" until you were in my arms. I heard it one more time, you cried "mamamama" looking and reaching to me. Grandma and Daddy are sure you are saying Mama now. I think you are too but am still too shocked to really believe it. You didn't say it any other time crying. You didn't say it while reaching for anyone else, just me, your mama!
You still don't like tummy time. I keep trying to put you in the crawling position but you collapse and cry. I don't know why I want you to crawl so bad. Once it happens, I'll never have an ounce of sit down time, you will be EVERYWHERE!
You are really enjoying your home-made baby food. Pears are your favorite now. Broccoli not so much! You make the worst face when I give you that green mush, swallow it down then gag it back up. It's sooo comical!
You are drinking a little water here and there out of a big boy cup, not a sippy cup, a real big cup!
You still love to stand, balance on daddy's hands, and like to take little steps while holding my hands. Man, you are cute!
Several people have complimented on the way Daddy and I raise you. How we are strict on certain things but still super loving. How we travel with you, introduce you to many different things, how we don't baby talk to you, encourage sign language, read a ton, how we are really serious about breast feeding and kept it up without ever having to give you formula, but more than anything how we teach you to soothe yourself. It's pretty amazing that other people can already see the work we consciencely put into raising you. These are decisions we made before you were created. These were decisions that we made based on a lot of research, books, and experience I had as a pre-school teacher at one of the strictest schools I have heard of. You are impressive and I can't believe that other people can see it as well and take me aside to seriously compliment those efforts. Some of those things were not soo easy, AT ALL, but I felt were super important for your growth, health, maturity, sleep patters, future education and many other aspects of your life. Thanks for keeping up with our standards kid!
I love you little guy and now I know that you love me too! Like, you really love me. (Show dada some love too, he would really appreciate it!) Thanks for being one of the coolest things to ever come into our life!
Your Mamamamamama!!!
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