19 Weeks!

I think I might be a little more normal. You know, like not as crazy? Ummm, okay, so I don't FREAK out like I did a few weeks ago, that means I'm not as crazy right? RIGHT?!?!

I feel good, great in fact. I think I'm ready for a party. Anyone want to invite me to your parties? I had a dream last night that I went out with two friends and came home WASTED. Geoff was soooo mad and I didn't know why. Then it hit me, oh yeah, I'm pregnant. That is how I feel, like I get a kick to the uterus and I go, oh yea, I'm pregnant. Sweet!

Speaking of dreams, I have sex dreams all the time! They are awesome. I heard of these things before and did not have any last time but hello, I like this baby SOOOOOOO much better already. (Kidding Sawyer, don't get your diapers in a knot!) I know, TMI.

Want to know more TMI? Farts. I don't get those girls that never fart in front of their significant other. EVERYONE FARTS! The other day Geoff and I were watching something and someone said, "I'm just sharing my love." No big deal until I'm about to rest my head on Geoff's lap and he's like, "I don't know if you want to do that, I'm about to share my love." It was sooooo funny. Needless to say, I've been sharing my love a lot lately. A lot. (How sexy am I?)

One other word: CHOCOLATE! Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I'm thinking about it. It's all I want. I wake up and want it, give in to temptation and want more. One Friday, after a few days of no chocolate, I went to playgroup early knowing the mom that hosted baked double chocolate muffins. I ate two and she sent me off with a few squares to put in my purse in case I had another, gasp, chocolate drought. If there is no chocolate within my reach for a few days and you mix some cocoa with snot, I might consider eating it. Really. And this all happened about two days after I told my friend I had no cravings. What a sucker I am for saying that! Anyway, I'm thinking curvy is in anyway? Isn't it? I'm working on getting WAY curvy.

Yeah, this whole thing is flying by. I'm sure having a toddler helps, this guy is crazy and I don't have time to remember that I'm pregnant and should sit, or not have him jumping on my stomach like a trampoline. He thinks this thing under my skin is some sort of new toy he should river dance on. He's going to make a great big brother.

Onto the curves.





P.S. 6 more days until the big ultrasound! Until then... chocolate!

Sewing still sucks.

But I'm buying a sewing machine. I know, I told you I'm a nut job!

Okay, so remember all that trouble I had and how many days it took me to thread a needle and how I wanted to sock sewing in the face? (No? Recap here.)

Well, I still might give it a good punch in the nose but as much trouble as all that needle and thread crap is, cool things come out of frustration and fake curse words. It also doesn't help that I'm picky and want things that cost thousands of millions of dollars that you can make for like 5 cents and a sewing machine and patience. It's that patience thing I REALLY need to invest in!

Example: Crib bedding. Yeah, so baby two is on its little way and I want it to be a girl so I'm looking at girl stuff in case this thing inside me IS missing a penis (No, we don't know yet, I'm just wishful internet browsing.) and all the crib bedding I like cost more than most mortgages. It's outrageous!

So check out this one. I love the ruffles and girliness of it. I LOVE the crib skirt and the thickness of the bumper but. $1,900?! I don't think so.



And check out this one. I love how long and flowy the crib skirt is and how simple and elegant the color and fabric is. $816? I don't think so!


Okay, last one. Check it out, doesn't even look cute, you can't even SEE the crib bedding but they expect you to shell out, are you ready, $3,370.00!!!! Who does this?! Don't you people remember the amazing, exploding poop diapers that starts at about 3 months?! In no way am I going to set something down in $3,000 bedding that craps down it's leg and barfs without realizing it!



So, yeah, in no way am I going to PAY that kind of money, I would much rather make it myself but that means you guys are going to have to listen to me complain throughout the whole process. (Or you can band together and buy me one of the first two and I'll spare you the fake cursing...) No, really, don't buy them, you can feel like all of Africa for that kind of money. Point is, I'm buying a sewing machine and you can't stop me. Neener ,neener, ha ha.

Oh and check out how awesome I am. This post requires you all to comment and reassure me that I am indeed out of this world and a superstar sewer. I actually GOT the damn stocking done. It's done. It's done and people were't lying, that thing takes up your time. I'll say easily about 75 hours of sewing went into this thing. Nutso. Don't try that at home boys and girls.




Don't let the details go unnoticed. Everything is stuffed or 3-D. The face is hand stitched (Is that the right lingo?) and even the BACK of Santa is finished and 3-D. Crazy huh? (Don't forget to tell me how awesome I am.)


The two ornaments at the bottom and attaching the front to back took eight hours in a row. EIGHT! Doesn't it kinda look like an iceskating outfit threw up on Christmas and this is the outcome?! I love SEQUINS! (Oh yeah, in case I have not mentioned it, don't forget to tell me how totally rocking I am.)



A big thanks to Aurora at Green is the New Black and Jenny at Jenny's Australian Needleart Journey. Without tips from these two, this thing would be a pile of felt in my trashcan. I owe you guys a night of drinking!

Almost....

The tree is up and a little stinker I know helped me decorate.





Our tree is decorated only half way up to the top, being sure to keep any glass ornaments out of Sawyer's reach. Not happy with our decision to keep a piece of Christmas out of his hands, I peek over to see Sawyer with the broom and I swear within a freakin' SECOND, he swung twice, the broom like a bat, and shattered two ornaments.

It still makes me laugh.

Merry almost Christmas, from me and my little slugger.

Friday Night

Geoff walked to the ATM to deposit my paycheck. I kissed him goodbye and continued on with dinner. As time passed I tried to brush some of my worries away. I mentioned earlier, Denver is kinda FREAKING OUT and innocent males are getting beat up. I don't want my husband to be beat up. I figured he stopped for a drink or ran another errand. My sweet potato latke things were taking 5 times longer than expected and each ended in disaster. I would make a terrible jew and (Close your eyes, this is where I REALLY stereotype) every Jew I met really knows how to party. I guess I have non party fun, lame blood running through my veins because these latkes really sucked. Geoff still wasn't home. I admitted latke defeat and threw the rest of the shredded potato mix into the trash as I attempted to ventilate our smoked out house.

Geoff walks in the door and I hear, "I was frisked!"

Huh?

Turns out as my husband was walking down the sidewalk, he noticed a cop car following him slowly, as he passed him bye, Geoff smile and waved. The cop pulled over and got out.

Officer: "Hi, you look like a nice guy but I have to ask, where are you going?"

Geoff: "Just heading to the bank, need to deposit some money."

Officer: "Hah, okay, I'm sorry but you match the description of a man that robbed a bank this morning, I need to search you."

Geoff totally surprised and wishing he took back his 'bank' answer: "I have an alibi, my wife has been home with me all day. I have my ID, do whatever you need to do sir."

A second later, Geoff realized I WASN'T with him all day, I was gone all morning.

I interrupt, "BABE, how much money did you REALLY deposit? Are we RICH?!"


My poor husband got frisked, said the officer did a very thorough job and his only reward were a few burned latkes and a smoked out condo. Yeah, we go all out on a friday night...not. But let me tell you, our account now is LOADED! ;)

(Denver Police, I'm totally joking. Please don't arrest me, I don't even like getting my name on the board.)


Happy Weekend!

Award

I know some of you guys are too cool for school but I'm not. I'm not the cool kid and I still LOVE awards! Jewles from A Blonde Walks into a Blog gave me this one recently! She must be on something strong cause I think you are suppose to give it to NICE bloggers, but hell, she gave it to me and can't take back now! Hear that, YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK!



So, I write ten things that make me happy and pass it on I think?

This is good since I've the crazy pregnant lady. Happy things...

1. Every time my husband is naked. (Uhhh, you asked!)

2. The look on Sawyer's face when he is proud of himself!

3. Kisses from Geoff and Sawyer. Oh and when Geoff rubs my face. AND when Sawyer cuddles. Love those two!

4. When you guys leave me comments. I love them. Love your comments, even if you don't agree with me. Love em!

5. Vacations and being able to drink on them with people I love, preferable somewhere warm oh and babysitters are nice too.

6. My friends in Turks and Caicos and California, and now one in Cleveland. I'm spoiled with awesome friends. You know those couples that are uneven, like the girl is HOT and the guy isn't or vice versa? It's like that with my friends. I don't deserve them. My friends are the best people in the world and I'm shocked they stick by my side year after year.

7. When my netflix pick was better than my husbands. We have this ongoing movie battle, and I like wining!

8. Happy hour outside on a warm day.

9. Pictures of people from before you knew them. Something is just so funny about seeing your buddy in head gear and a bad perm.

10. Learning. I love to learn, from professors, homework, mistakes, wise advice, books, news, culture clashes, my son. Learning rocks and the more you learn, the less you realize you know. Learning is so humbling.



There it is. Okay, now to spread the love. I'm going to try and focus on NICE and people that feel like friends through blogging...

1. Adorably Distracted: She is one of those incredibly nice people. She puts her life on her blog and gets hurt when people don't love her back. It's hard not to love her back, so those meanies have got to be on crack.

2. Maggie at Flux Capacitor. Her writing will pull you in. You can't help but feel her emotions. She has had some tough times and is very inspiring.

3. The Peach Tart. I think I give this girl an award every time but I freakin' LOVE her.

4. Speaking from the Crib is one of my new blogs I love. She cracks me up and she always has a post up her sleeve. Damn her being all blog responsible.

5. Aurora at Green is the New Black. She makes these reusable bags that are adorable, works with my hubby and her comments leave me wiping tears from laughter.




K, that is all I have time for now.

Peace, love and nice people,

me.

Cats versus Sawyer

So you know that house that we love and are under contract with and HAVE been under contract with since AUGUST?! The one with the deer walking across our driveway, views to die for, plenty of land to play on, a house with 6 bedrooms?! SIX! It. Is. HUGE! And we love it?! Did I mention we LOVE it?

Umm, Geoff met the neighbor last weekend...



But we ain't afraid of no cats.

Lets get something straight, I've never been against the baby leash. I know some people think they are degrading, a little animal like, but not me. Oh no, I've just thought I would make them a little BETTER, you know, adapt it to our lifestyle.



Oh, and mountain lion proof, I just have to make sure the kid never trips... EVER. In that yard. Or any of the bedrooms. Cause there also isn't a hospital for miles and miles.

16 Weeks!

In one sentence: I'm a nut job.

I am. I'm just psychotic when I'm pregnant. I know that I get crazy with child, and was fully aware I would morph into a monster, it's just incredible that my husband had to deal with me before and willingly did this to me again. I feel so bad for him but I think he remembers how I am pregnant. I'm not that smily, shiny little pregnant lady with her pregnant glow looking all cute. I'm the girl you back away from, like you SEE the evil in her eyes like an angry wild animal and you BACK AWAY SLOWLY before she mauls you alive. No joke, that is me. See, I'm so overdue for a post and I started many but something would come up, I get distracted and by the time I go back my attitude has done a 180 and the bipolar post doesn't really work out or make sense and I delete and go on with my day looking for innocent people to step into my cage.

I need one of those things that go over a dogs mouth so it doesn't bite, only for me, it will prevent me from speaking. Do they sell that at Motherhood?

One example and I'll move on, promise. So, I'm not a self conscious person, I don't get jealous but lately I have been, my stomach is getting bigger, I never wear makeup, my hair is always in a messy up do, I lounge in comfy pants and I'm not cute right now. There is this stupid pub that opened near us and the girls were these outfits so slutty they make Hooters look like a Mormon church and my husband met the boys there for drinks the other day. He knows I'm not a big fan of the place, I heard their food sucked, okay they have like a million beers on tap but screw the beer, SCREW THE BEER, right? Anyway, lately I've felt like he was keeping a secret, being kind of weird and I didn't like it. I thought it could be a good secret but then let my hormones get the best of me and now Tiger Woods is a man slut, and Geoff went to this pub and WHAT IS THE SECRET and WHY ARE WE THE COUPLE THAT KEEPS SECRETS?! I just imagined our life going down the drain and it made me cry, it make me mad, it made me fangs out FURIOUS so after a nice little dinner last night, I freaked out on him and asked why he was keeping secrets and he is being all sneaky and I don't like it, and -SOB- I DON'T want to sit on the bed with you when I'm pissed SECRET KEEPER!

Turns out he was, and it was a good one and he was just trying to surprise me for Christmas and now I ruined it.

Then I felt really bad and just cried for a good thirty minutes. Non stop tears. I tried to play some of them off as something being in my eye but that excuse didn't work. So, GO me, the evil pregnant wife that ruins Christmas for MYSELF. Ugh.

On a non evil note, I feel great! I haven't had a headache in like a week, I got to hear the heartbeat at my appointment, the doctor keeps telling me how much she loves me cause I'm super healthy and this pregnancy is gong to be so easy (She better not of jinxed it!), and I FEEL KICKS!

Woo-hoo movement! My favorite part of it all.

We have our scan booked. Sawyer looks at my tummy, signs 'baby' and gives my tummy a kiss. Does it get any cuter?

Geoff said not to worry if I don't feel movement all the time, "You're only, what, 8 or 9 weeks?" Umm, baby, make that 16, in a few weeks, we'll be at the half way point. He looked shocked an maybe a little scared after that like my water was about to break on his new shoes.

Again, it's going fast, I forget I'm pregnant most of the time and still want a margarita. My doctor said I can have a sip. A sip? What is the point, I need a fishbowl.

So, I'm good, as long as I keep tormenting the innocent to make myself feel better because that is the kind of mature person I am.

Onto the tummy!!!!






Told you my outfits these days are just fabulous.

Peace, love and baby rhinos,

Me

Denver: Get your act together!

True Story:

A few years back my brother went to visit his friend. He waved to the neighbor as he was walking to his friend's house. Friends of that neighbor saw some guy, my brother, wave to their girl and beat my brother up. I believe it was two against him and my brother isn't a big guy. They beat him so badly, they thought he was dead and threw him into bushes to die. My brother woke, had to of been in shock and proceeded to the friends house. When his friends girlfriend opened the door and saw the bloody mess standing before her asking for his buddy, she threw up. He was rushed to the hospital to have a tracheotomy so he could breath correctly and days later, facial reconstruction surgery to piece his face back together. He was lucky to survive.


Denver:


We live downtown, wee live blocks away from all major league sports events. We live a block away from a famous outdoor walking mall. From our balcony half a block away, we can see the hotel that the President of America stays while in Denver. Extremely fine dining, preppy little wine bars, and expensive little boutiques ARE our neighborhood. Horse drawn carriages pass our building front nightly to whisk away couples to a romantic night under the overhead twinkling lights but under the same twinkling lights darkness and bitter hate lurks.






I don't like hate.

Downtown Denver has been victim to numerous muggings recently. It's reported that most are racially motivated against whites and hispanics and the victim is picked at random. Most victims attacked have been white or hispanic men walking alone. One of the men arrested says in Denver Post (here and here), they wanted to send a message "to let people know, not to come downtown without their friends for protection."

So, your group is going to beat up on some innocent guy, I don't care what the hell your race or his race is, so you can send a message?! That's bull. These tough guys make me laugh. Can't get by in life without their crew. Who is really the weak one there huh? Their "crew" could care less about the individuals within that group, and would throw a person under a bus in a heartbeat. They do what other people say, they are followers, following loser scum bags and beating people until permanent facial damage is done.

Is it backwards that I feel more comfortable running an errand ALONE at night rather than sending Geoff?

This makes me laugh, "An affidavit released Friday by prosecutors said Kendall Austin told police his gang, the Black Gangster Disciples, and another gang known as the Rolling '60s Crips believe they 'own' the 1400 block of 19th Street."

My message to them:

Own? Really, OWN?! Where is your real estate? Show me the papers? You don't own crap, and your in MY hood now. We do OWN and legally. We don't NEED our friends for protection, we don't NEED a crew, we don't NEED to beat people up to prove ourselves. The weak are the ones who need. But if caught in the craziness of your quest to seem tough, on OUR quest to go to dinner, don't be surprised to find who carries a permit to carry a concealed. You'll sure be 'needing' then.


As cute as this place is, I don't get hate and I don't like when it effects people it shouldn't. I don't get people hurting other innocent people and an incident happened way too close to me to make this all too real. It amazes me that the person getting beat to death might be the doctor that saves this scum bags life two years later. It all makes me sick. Stay safe, watch out for yourself no matter who you are and spread good, it's freakin' CHRISTMAS for crying out loud!

Just when I start to get Cranky

Okay, I know I shouldn't start a post with "okay" but too bad (Cause rules suck, right?). I was all cranky and getting annoyed and feeling impatient, I mean, check out what I started to write on the poor internet that has to gobble up my words no matter what it thinks...

I'm over it. I'm getting really over it. I've been having headaches, you know the ones that feel like your brain is being dragged behind a truck on a road that really needs to be repaved? Yeah, those and the doctors are like, you can have tylenol and I'm like, no thanks, that doesn't even do anything. So whatev.

I'm also soooo over this short sale stuff. Why the Hell can't a bank get their act together when they expect the world from us. I mean, can you imagine telling a bank, you'll get to them when you feel like it?!

Oh, and don't even get me started on Microsoft Word. No offense PC users, but I could NEVER go back.

And then I logged onto facebook because I'm easily distracted and was reading some status updates and wasting time and trying not to be annoyed and negative because, really, things could be worse than being annoyed at a non Mac computer then, THEN my friends, I read that my friend Janet was going to try and cut out dairy.

Cut. Out Dairy.

Those three words are like Christmas to me. A really fun, non debt ridden, fancy lights, family and friend filled, lobster for dinner kind of Christmas. You know, one I hope to have in my lifetime but don't REALLY need as long as people keep realizing how disgusting dairy is and that they shouldn't be putting their bodies through the evils of it and tell me THEY ARE CUTTING OUT DAIRY!

Ring the bells, sound the alarms (the fun ones), start the parade because EVERY single person that decides to research and realize how sucky a cows breast milk is for the human body, turns my frown upside down.

Diary sucks, dairy sucks, YAY! YAY! YAY!

P.S. I said "turn my frown upside down". I'm so lame.