Downtown Drivers

We heard a loud screech and then a huge BANG. I ran to the window just to see the front of your car rammed into the back of a very beautiful Mercedes. Poor Mercedes. You hit it so hard, the Mercedes ran into the car in front of her. (Mercedes is a she because shes are pretty. Like me, aren't I soooo pretty??? AREN'T I?!?! Sarcasm) Back to the idiot. Idiot hit TWO cars, two cars that were PARKED. At that point Geoff and I are glued to our balcony watching what it looked like to us, you about to drive away. Geoff pulled out the video camera to record you and get a close up of your license plate. Watch out buddy, you never know who is watching. Oh, did I also mention we know the Police Chief guy? Yeah, we know WHO to give that video tape to, do the right thing. As you were pulling away, two guys run across the street with acoustic guitars over their shoulders clapping. They were running, guitar probably jamming into their hip getting across the street to tell you, 1- Pull over, we ALL saw you, and 2-clapping is out of sarcasm, because you ran into a parked car. Parked. Car. Idiot.
You proceed to pull into a parking spot large enough for two cars that you had trouble parallel parking into were you narrowly missed hitting ANOTHER PARKED CAR.

Brakes are your friend buddy.

Several people came out pointing to the cars. Geoff and I guessed who owned the Mercedes. Poor Mercedes. Guy with the belly? White socks, black shoes man? Girl with the Starbucks? Interesting sweater couple? All guesses were wrong.

Geoff wanted to get out our megaphone and yell funny things to the Ford owner. I said no and hoped that you felt bad and stupid enough as it is. Remember that, I'm nice, despite what ANYONE tells you!

Finally the police show up. You did a really bad job on your sobriety test. Almost fell over during you straight line walk. Just so you didn't feel too bad, I performed one too. I followed your lead. Okay, feet together. Check. One foot in front of the other, no, heel to toe, no spaces in between each foot as you walk the line. Walk the line. We walked the line. Me up here, you down there. All eyes on you. You never know who is watching. I passed. You got handcuffed.

Poor Mercedes.

I'll miss this about Downtown.

Dear Denver drivers: You never know who is watching.