Thursday, July 29, 2010

This one's for the Homies.

When I was like 18, I had a crush on this guy. He was pretty much an A-hole and I was pretty much super nice so of course I liked him. One day he took me to the movies. I don't remember the details and I'm sure it wasn't even a date since he didn't even like me back but he was a few years older than me and the movie was rated R.

He got carded and was super embarrassed.

I didn't.

It's funny the things people card you for and the things people don't. I almost NEVER get carded for buying alcohol anymore.

We talked about that.

But I do get carded for super glue.

I will damage the STREETS with some super glue. Just watch me.

I get carded for spray paint and totally get it. I look pretty hard core and gangish.

What really gets me though is what I got carded for yesterday: Chalkboard Spray Paint.

I looked at the guy like, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

This world might actually be a prettier place if they gave that stuff out to my fellow homies.

Is that how you spell homies?

Seriously though, Gang One can be all, "Oh no they didn't, this is OUR territory!"

Then pull out his little chalkboard eraser and chalk and write in his little gang sign things.

And then the opposing gang can be all, "Oh no they didn't. This is OUR territory."

And pull out his little gang chalkboard eraser and re-draw the original gang sign thing.

See, isn't it cute already.

Then the homeless guy can be all, "Oh no they ALL didn't." He can erase it all and just write, "Let's be honest, I need a drink" or something that he thinks is witty and will get him a buck.

And then the police can be all, "Oh no this city DIDN'T" and erase it all so we can start all fresh.

Basically, I should make the rules and be governor because the answer to all our problems is NOT carding for chalkboard paint.

You're welcome Colorado.

15 comments:

Robin said...

Just out of curiousity, how old do you have to be to buy chalkboard paint?

Jules AF said...

I wonder what you can do with that? Do people really graffiti with it? Lame.

@sjoyr04 said...

luv it! chalkboard paint is so cool.
but i think the carding was for the schools - they need to keep track of the parents that buy chalkboard paint, it will explain the over achiever kids in the school district. They need to know about the paint so they can plan on how many kids will be in upcoming gifted programs :)

hows that for random?

MEGandJEFF said...

:) I dig your gangsta style!

Seriously though, that chalkboard paint is awesome stuff!

I got carded for a rated R movie a while back..which made me laugh..I was just glad they didn't search through my huge purse..cause that's where the good stuff I was gonna add to my diet coke was hiding! ;)

Aurora Sisneros said...

I am putting together our YouTube Campaign for your election RIGHT NOW!

Word.

Jules said...

I love this post, you are hilarious! I'm guessing chalkboard paint can be used for 'huffing' (or is it snuffing?, no idea). I wish kids could keep their noises out of things, I feel like I'm doing something wrong when I buying those products and get carded. But I think sarah's comment is on to something...

Jaime said...

You don't get carded for buying spray paint where I'm from. Weird. But I know that I am always secretly ecstatic when I get carded, even though I pretend it's such an inconvenience:)

Java said...

Carded for chalkboard paint? Omg too funny! I didn't know there was such a thing!! lol..

Love your blog! And yes you should lock your kids in the basement NOW!

I'm your newest follower! :)

Alexandra said...

...and,then people, we would have world peace..

beautiful, sister.

tera said...

What a fabulously awesome idea! We have so much gang and graffiti problem here, I hate it.

Oh, wait...that should read:

Yo homegirl, you one dope playa.

Unknown said...

You guys crack me up.

Robin: According to Home Depot, you have to be 18.

Yes, LOVE chalkboard paint, I don't think anyone graffitis with it, but they should! :) Yes, think they card for huffing or whatever but Hell, can't you get high off markers too? I think I got high the other day from walking behind a homeless dude. No one carded me for that!

Meg: Love youuuu! Do you have fb?

And HELLO all my new friends! You are all looking soo pretty today! :)

anymommy said...

Brilliance. I bought chalk board paint the other day and I did not get carded. Now, I'm offended.

MEGandJEFF said...

Holly! I've wanted to do a Rock n' Roll Marathon for a while now! What's the location/date? I'm seriously considering doing it with ya!

I do have FB..look for me under Meghan Newman..

Have a grand day, chicky!

Stephanie said...

LOL I have never heard of such a thing. The person who carded you...r u sure he wasn't just trying to get your number??

SweetPeaSurry said...

See and here I was all brainwashed into thinking that the answer to all the world's problems was who in fact could or could not purchase spray paint. OH HELL NO!!! Was I duped or what?