Monday, July 19, 2010

Operation: Get in Shape, Lose Mass Weight

Guys, I'm super fat. LIke super size me, supah fat. I hate it. It's making me self conscious. I can feel my thighs rub together. This is not cool. I can only fit into my fat clothes.

Fat.
Fat.
Fat.

To make matters worse, my frenemy sent me home with the largest slice of delicious cake last night. This is how she went from friend to frenemy. (She doesn't know about this transition yet.) Just to give you a little description on the cake goodness, she went through THREE batches before getting the cake JUST RIGHT! I mean, talk about a perfectionist baker right? When Sawyer's birthday cake didn't turn out so hot, I just sculpted it into a train that end up looking more like a man's privates, got frustrated and called it good. Happy Birthday kid, here is your penis cake. But not my frenemy and now the few pounds of frosted deliciousness is taunting me from the kitchen.

"Hey gurl, you lookin' so good. How about a piece of me? Hmmmm?"

Shut up CAKE?! You will say ANYTHING to get into someones hands. I'm not falling for your lines THIS TIME!

So I decided that I want to get back into pre-pregnancy weight by my next appointment in October. Fifteen pounds to lose before October. Actually, I have TWENTY pounds to lose but I'm giving myself five as a buffer.

This means I need to step on the scale.

And not drink mojitos every chance I get.

The second might be more difficult than the first.

I'm doomed.

10 comments:

Annie said...

you can do it!! ;)

Robin said...

Have you considered trashing it? I know that sounds insane, but it is easier to trash the cake than lose those three pounds off your butt. Besides, the cake won't be nearly so tempting after it has shared space with the rest of your kitchen trash. Just a thought...

(BTW, loved the paint blog and trip into the ghetto to get it. That was hilarious.)

Anonymous said...

you can doooooo it!

MOMSICLE VIBE said...

Patience young grasshopper, patience... You can totally do it, but remember, you just brewed up a HUMAN and that is tough on a body. My child is almost SIXTEEN MONTHS and I am wondering if I'll EVER get back into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes. Sigh. It would help if chocolate and pastries stopped stalking me too...

GOOD LUCK and just rock the extra booty bounce while you have it :)

Aurora Sisneros said...

I say eat the cake.

No, serious - it will help you in the long run.

Get MAD, eat that ENTIRE slice, chomp it down angrily, and be like "This is the LAST piece of CAKE till OCTOBER, you JERK!" *nom nom nom*

It's kinda like getting over a fight with the hubby by having ANGRY SEX. You THINK you don't want it, but it solves everything. ;)

fallgirly said...

15 pounds isn't bad! PLUS it took a year to pack that weight on and a year to take it off. Patience, it will fall off with the breastfeeding, it just takes time!

JoeinVegas said...

You can do it. (but you look gorgeous however you are)

MEGandJEFF said...

I'm sure this will be super annoying advice...but eat a bit of eat here & there..you have to give yourself wiggle room, or you'll stress yourself out, girl! I hear cake freezes pretty decently...

OR, invite me over & I'll eat the whole thing with you!

On a serious note: There isn't a doubt in my mind that you absolutely can kick those lbs!! Anyone who reads your blog knows that once you've made up your mind, it's over :)

The Skinny Mom said...

OMG. You crack me up. Also, I like the previous idea of trashing the cake. Yesterday I had a weak moment at Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a huge package of Twizzlers. HUGE. I ate like 5 pieces when I got home, felt sick and guilty, and threw the damn Twizzlers in the trash. What's that they say?? Better in the trash than on my ass!!

SweetPeaSurry said...

You know, I could hate you just a little bit for only needing to lose 15lbs. Jeez ... that is no where NEAR Fatty McFattilost land! No where near!!!

You're sooo lucky that I like you so tremendously well. I'd eat that cake for you if I could, but I don't really like cake, and I have TWICE as much to lose as you do!!! so HAH!

bestest blessings!