Update

Quick updates:

After meeting with our renter, we decided to try and accommodate her more by moving out of here sooner. Our move in date went from the 13th to getting our stuff out of here on Tuesday, as of this Tuesday. We have been in a packing frenzy. We are having pods delivered here that will take most of our belongings to storage while we keep just the bare essentials until Friday when our move in date is for the short term apartment near Geoff's work.

I'm currently sitting on a mattress that is sitting on the floor.

Once again, things are put into perspective when I hopped over to my sister in laws good friend's Angela's blog. Did you get all that? She just got back from Haiti. Read her online journal here.

If you read it and came back, you'll see how awesome it is to have a mattress.


Love you guys and will bring you a prego update soon. Just want you to be as thankful for life as I am!

This little Mac of Mine

About 3 years ago, I met this really cute boy. I liked him a lot and I knew he was really smart. Before I let my heart get hurt, I had to ask him:

"Mac or PC?"

Several months later we were married and our house is like an indoor playground for all things macintosh.

It was an Apple love story from the very start. We love our Macs and all things Steve so I was surprised to find I was way behind the Macintosh loop.

I'm talking about The Church of Mac.

I had no idea I was in the dark. No idea my mac had a place to go, to learn of his creator, to live with a higher purpose.

Dear Mac: This is for you.

23 Weeks!

Yesterday I went to Joanns to grab some fabric (more to come), and Geoff text me asking if I wanted to meet him for lunch. I LOVE meeting my husband for lunch. We live downtown, and he works in the suburbs about 25 minutes away. Before we grabbed a bite to eat, we end up checking out some nice apartments right by his work to see if they would lease month to month.
An hour later, we signed a lease, Geoff was back at work and I was on my way home. Hungry but with a place lined up to live.

Just like that, we have a place to go. This is nice, this should be a bit relieving right? For some reason, setting this in stone cemented the fact that moving was going to be annoying. This whole process is going to suck. We are moving twice, I'm just a few weeks away from the third trimester and now we have an apartment rented on the THIRD floor with no elevator. Extra pounds plus wiggly toddler, plus diaper bags, groceries, all going upstairs OUTSIDE in freezing Colorado weather. THEN I realized that when our lease is up, I'll be 4 weeks away from my due date. FOUR WEEKS! That means I could go into labor anytime really, but hey, lets pair that with another stressful move almost 3 thousand feet higher in altitude. Yeah, it's a party... not. I'm stealing this from someones comment: I was having a sand in the vagina kind of moment.

Geoff took my attitude as being a little nervous. Of course he detected it while they were running background checks on me and wondered if I had anything to hide. Besides that warrant out for my arrest (not joking), I'm clean babah! I guess I was nervous though. We are going from the middle of downtown to the middle of suberbia central and then up to the high country all while in my third trimester and then I had the urge to slap myself. There are people buried under ruble in Haiti in their third trimester. So, I shut up.


Oh, one more complaint, when I got home, the whole right side of my back just hurt. An achy, lifted too much, sat weird, can't even wipe the counter because it hurts too much sort of pain. Strangely, it went away after sitting in the movie theater watching Lovely Bones. I think sitting down, relaxing, without Sawyer for the first time in months did wonders. It's amazing what two hours of non-mom time can do for the good!

But I'm suppose to talk about being pregnant right? I mean, that is the theme of this pregnancy: WHAT, I'm pregnant? Didn't even notice! I don't know if it's because I'm already momming it up to a toddler, if I'm just too busy or if this pregnancy is way too easy. I have no updates. She is strong, she kicks me a lot. She pushes me from my side to my back while sleeping but I already told you that. I feel huge. I'm back to wanting salads and fruit and hope this last longer than a few days. I think my body really needed the roughage.

I started working on the crib bedding I want to sew. It's funny that almost everyone talked about how much of a project this was and I didn't agree. When I was in high school math classes, I would always do the hardest problem first on my homework so the rest seemed easy. I don't think this was the best approach but it made sense in my tiny head. I think I accidentally approached sewing the same way, I have the crib skirt almost done and it took MAYBE two hours. Either, I'm really awesome or this bedding is going to SUCK! I do think that anything compared to that stocking is a freakin' cake walk! Sewing can't bring me down! THEN I thought about one of the girls I met at playgroup the other week. She was told she was having a girl and out popped a boy. What if I do this awesome crib bedding and, surprise, it's a boy? He is going to sleep in the prettiest pink and white bedding, that is what!

Onto the belly:



(Sorry the picture quality and my outfit are so crappy!)


Love you guys to the end of the universe!

I'm Not Worthy

Last week Mandy at Mommy Musings gave me these awards. Isn't she way too nice? Go tell her she is too nice and show her some lovin'!







There are a bunch of rules to these and the rules always change so I'm going to pass them to people I like and make up my own rules.

Mostly cause I suck.

Oh, and when you get awards, I usually don't tell you. But sometimes I do. Depends how I'm feeling and if my son has demanded the computer after I've been on for ten minutes. He thinks he is an adult, I swear. You should of seen him the other day with my iphone. He somehow got to itunes and was dancing to Ms. Britney Spears. I was like, whhhhat? Daddy wasn't too happy about that one.

They say NEVER apologize for not writing on here, not keeping up with postings. Why are there rules? Can't we do whatever the hell we want? I still want to apologize, it's been a little nutty around here. We are moving in about two weeks, to where, we don't know. See, so I have to pack and find a place to live that is month to month and decent with washer, dryer and parking and not crazy expensive and moms club has been time consuming to say the least. So, I've had to do stuff.

Most of these awards, you have to write a few things about yourself. Well, I think you guys hear enough about me, so I'm going to write about other people.


Sawyer: He roars like a lion now. I taught him this after Geoff brought that mountain lion video home. I want his first reaction toward a lion something I can decipher. I don't want him to say 'meow', or walk toward one to pet it. My child will be eaten and it is VERY likely that we will see one living in that house. The downside of this, however, is he LOVES to roar. This reminds me of my half sister. My half sister is about 12 years younger than me (I think?), and when she was little, I'm talking like TWO, she wanted to be a Paleontologist. She knew how to say paleontologist, what they did, the correct scientific name for a gazillion dinosaurs but most of all, she would bend over 1/4 of the way, pull her elbows in to her body, crunch her hands into claw position and roar at people. At first this was cute. Cute, like Sawyer's roaring but she didn't grow out of this. FOR YEARS she didn't grow out of it. If she felt shy, she would assume dinosaur position and roar. If she didn't like someone, she would assume dinosaur position and ROAR. Her preschool graduation? That girl dinosaur stepped and roared right down the isle. I fear Sawyer may 'mountain lion' down graduation isle one day, all because I wanted him to warn me if he saw a lion I did not. Nice, huh?

Little girl in my uterus: When I was pregnant with Sawyer I never slept. I was up all the time. I just could not sleep no matter how tired I was. My pregnancy with this girl is so different. I sleep like a rock. 7:30am rolls around and I feel like Sawyer woke me up at 2am. I think if Sawyer let me, I would sleep well past 10 and that is not me! Last night I was getting a little annoyed that Geoff kept trying to roll me over. I must of been on his side, pushing him off the bed or something because he doesn't usually push me back to my side. I was tired, soooo sleepy, wanting MORE sleep, not to be moved. After enough nudges, I woke enough to realize, I wasn't pushing him off the bed, and he was not trying to roll me over, this girl inside me was pushing against the bed (the side I was laying on) so hard that she would actually roll me a bit from my side to my back. How is THAT for strong???

Geoff: My husband has been working like a dog lately. He was out of work for a good part of last year and his job hired him back not too long ago. Since then, he's had a renewed passion to working there and making things the best they could possibly be. He does something (that doesn't make sense to me) and will come in the room and excitedly tell me how the compress has worked and the numbers are in the thousands than in the millions and something about Granite and I have no idea what he is saying but his passion toward work is so cute. My husband does not do things lightly, he pours himself into every action, whether it's building a fire, making Sawyer dinner, or doing database computer stuff. Just recently I've been demanding a little more of his attention, pulling him away from the computer for a snuggle, a kiss, just to hang out but his passion toward getting ALL things done to the best of his ability is SUCH A TURN ON!


Okay, I'm done.

Here are some bloggy kids you should check out if you have not.

Travis at I like to Fish. This is one of my newer finds and he makes me laugh every time I read him. I know the awards are girly looking but GET OVER IT!

Alice at Finslippy. She is super popular and not reading little blogs like mine, but she is still funny if you don't know her.

Martinis or Diaper Genies is always awesome!

So is Speaking from the Crib. Awesome.

Jewels at A Blonde Walks into a Blog for her pretty new look!

Last but not least, Tera at Olive Hue Designs. She is giving away these cute drawings that I want to put in the new nursery and if you enter and make my chance of losing greater, I'll find where you live and, I don't know, but still!


Love you guys!

I always made fun of THAT girl

I sit around waiting for the phone to ring. I know he'll call. He promised to call. He'll call right? He said he would call, why wouldn't he call?

Did I not look cute enough last time I saw him? I wore the jeans that make butt look good. Geoff even said so. Should I of worn something different? Was it the outfit? I knew I shouldn't of worn that outfit.

I let him walk all over me. Said it was his LAST chance. Swore I would walk away.

Secretly, I lingered.

I drove by uninvited. I planned our future together. Everyone knows about him. I call him "mine".

Am I dumb?

He still didn't call.

Everyone asks how he is doing almost daily. He is a HUGE part of my life. I've been so shut off to the idea of meeting others. I don't want to meet others. He's mine. I'll make him mine.

He still hasn't called. I said we were going to be though if he didn't stick to his promises. He said he would call two days ago.

I sit here waiting.

Should I face the facts?

The house is sooo not into me.

This Morning

-NOTE-
Just realized this post was published on my blog with nothing actually written in it. Yesterday, I started the muffin post, walked away from my computer, came back and it was not on the screen any longer. I didn't think much of it until now... Sawyer. Sawyer pressed publish!

THIS is his first blog! He totally published "This Morning" as a title, nothing in the actual post but give him a break, he's only 19 months! Haha, I love it!

-END NOTE-

This Morning's Menu

MUFFINS!


I think it's time I stop stretching the hell out of my jeans and get into the maternity stuff or someone might get hurt... or lose their lunch, one of the two.

2012- We MUST prepare!

Underground bunkers. Ooohhhhhh.

Solar flares. Ahhhhhh!

Government secrets? Oh my!

I'm not freaking out, I figure, if true, we must prepare.

College fund? Scrap it for new outfits. If we going down, might as well look good.

Maybe I don't have to go to the dentist as often? The teeth only have two years...

Screw wrinkles, lets all TAN!

Use retirement FUND for vacation FUN! YEAH!

Weight gain competition? Who likes CHOCOLATE?!

It really IS 5pm somewhere!


They say this threat is REAL. How are you preparing?

21 Weeks!

It's weird that this thing in me is a girl. I keep calling her a him, then I'm like, "uhhh herrrrrr, I meant HERRRRRRRRR", you know, like a rapper. And while we are totally psyched she is a she, I didn't shop as quickly as people expected. I finally did buy something a few days ago and check it out. It's so frilly, it's actually atrocious. I am sure this outfit will not be cute in any way on any baby but in order to keep my word in buying the frilliest crap I can find, I had to purchase this thing.

Behold the pink attack that will indeed cause other babies to make fun of her. Your welcome daughter. I am currently saving for your therapy bills.


She kicks too. She kicks the CRAP out of me. My stomach shakes and changes shapes, one night I couldn't get comfortable, it felt like she was standing on my spine and when I rolled onto my back, I noticed the right side of my stomach was concave the the left was sticking up much higher and hard, it really looked like she was trying to push her head up out of my skin. It was amazing and weird. I know I already told you guys but when I had the ultrasound and they told me the placenta is in the front blocking movement, I was totally shocked. I have not felt this type of movement with Sawyer (placenta also in front) until I was at least around 30 weeks and it doesn't feel like ANYTHING is blocking this girl's movement, I feel like a piece of tissue paper is between me and the bottom of her foot! This girl is one strong lady and I'm scared what those movements are going to feel like when she weighs more than 11 ounces!

Two days ago, I was telling Geoff that she was kicking the living crap out of me. He said, what a B! (He said the full word but I'll just shorten it.) I laughed and agreed. I now call her my little B.

This week I've noticed I became incredibly tired. About every other day I need a nap. A long nap. Sunday I took a THREE HOUR NAP! Who does that?! This was suppose to end in the fist trimester. Damn B. (Kidding, love you!)

I'm only a little over half way there and feel huge. Feel the constant need to eat and sometimes have to take deep breaths in because I feel like I'm not getting enough oxygen. At 5,200 feet up and acclimated, I'm not worried about my oxygen intake but the later I get into pregnancy and the later we close on this house, the more worried I become. I don't want to move at nine months pregnant and the doctor insisted I have (I think she said) six weeks of taking it super easy; no exercise, lots of rest, tons of water and not lifting anything heavy. The house is 8,000 feet altitude and while I never felt the effect visiting it, who knows what I'll feel with compressed lungs and an ultimate fighter in my uterus. Don't the banks know that my uterus is waiting for a closing date? HAVE THEY NOT DEALT WITH MY UTERUS BEFORE?!

Oh and names! Are you guys crazy?! You are all asking me about names. Let me give you a peek into life right before Sawyer...

Me: What about -this- name?
Geoff: Hate it. What about -this- name?
Me: Hate it. What about -this- name?
Geoff: Hate it. What about -this- name?
Me: Hate it.
(Insert whatever name you feel like in -this-)

Get it? That is how our name conversations went, for NINE months? Do you know how Sawyer got his name? Let me enlighten you. I knew Geoff shot down the name before but thought I would give it another shot. Goeff shockingly didn't shoot it down. We had the name Kyle somewhat set. It was the only name Geoff liked that I didn't hate and Geoff only liked it because the name is in Terminator. TERMINATOR! Are you seeing what I'm up against?

Well, Geoff liked Sawyer because it's in some rock song but thought it was too weird to be a first name. Whatever, we have a first and a middle and we are both somewhat happy. A few days later, we head to a bar with one of his friends and sit on the patio. We told Geoff's friend that we finally have a name, Kyle Sawyer. Geoff's friend liked Sawyer better, I agreed so Geoff stopped some people walking by the bar and decided to ask them. "Sawyer Kyle or Kyle Sawyer? And remember, this is our future son's life!"

Needless to say, strangers walking by the bar decided our sons name and you think we have a girls name yet? I'll leave that responsibility up to the drunks, thank you.

Onto the gut!






Love you guys!!!

I'm sorry Haiti!

I complain,

"I'm soooo tired."

"I have a headache."

"We need a vacation and less stuff on our plate."

"I don't FEEL like making dinner."

And then Haiti crumbles and I feel selfish and stupid.

I have a bed, health insurance and great doctors, plenty of activities to keep me busy and food in the pantry. Some things make you shut up.

My thoughts go out to everyone affected in this disaster.

I hate that this stuff happens.

Does this answer a few questions?

I've been finding myself more and more impatient by the day. I try to think of all the things that make me so incredibly lucky; and there are lots of things, trust me; I just can't get this house off my mind.



Many people have asked why this is taking so long. I don't think I can explain it better than this article I found tonight.

Warning: Don't click on it if you are easily offended... then again, if you were easily offended, you probably wouldn't read my blog.

Love you guys!

The BIG Ultrasound

I went to the doctors yesterday for just a checkup. The doctor walked in and Sawyer started SCREAMING! He thought he was getting shots and when he saw me on the table instead of him, he went into full on protective mode! Every time the doctor tried to touch me, Sawyer would scream and smack her hand away. Immediately, I thought, I can do another boy, this protective stuff is pretty cute.

That was it. I was now happy with a boy.

I was going to wait until we had the pictures scanned but we are a little slow in that department.

Ultrasound: Legs were crossed tightly and only opened twice. The tech had to be quick, in and out. We were surprised to see a vagina in there! Yup, we are having a GIRL! YEAH! I'm pretty convinced there was a boy in there until yesterday when I mentally was fine with a boy. What? You don't think that is possible? You nay sayer!

So, there it is. Pictures might come later if I gain enough energy after cleaning our house for another showing today.

Her room is going to look like the color pink threw up. Exciting!

Something Hit the Fan

Yesterday, I got this in the mail:



Is it just me or does it look like it has some long, lost relatives?







And I was the one to sentence myself. Don't feel bad for me, I had a great life.

Boys and Breakups

I was listening to the radio the other week when Michelle Branch came on. I don't know what it is, perhaps the time she rode in the back of a truck playing the piano, but I LOVE her. I paused internal conversation to hear her song. I mean, hasn't she been missing since like 1999? This is what I heard:

"Sooner or later you're going to come around
and you'll be sorry when you figure out
that I was always everything that you needed.
Sooner or later, you're going to wish you had me."

Internal conversation resumed but let me fast forward from that moment to a day last week...

My bestest friend wrote me a message really upset. Her good friend was incredibly angry with her and and decided the way to let her know was unfriending her from facebook. Let me tell you, this has happened to me before and I think it's the most immature way to deal with issues EVER. If you have a problem, voice it, if you choose not to, kiss our ass (Yup, I cursed, it happens when I'm mad or passionate) and get over it yourself. Okay, what was I saying again? My friend is mad... okay, right. SO, she end up getting in contact with the immature girl and asking what the hell is going on. Basically it was a whole crap ton of he said, she said boiling down to one specific rumor: A girl never got over a boy and wished she married boy one and not boy two. This rumor was false and everyone found out it was started by boy one's brother and then pinned to my friend as the scape goat and this would of boiled in everyone's veins if my friend didn't seriously confront the issue. No news if they are back to face book friends.

Lets rewind again, but just two days before the unfriend facebook incident. Are you still with me? This all does have a point.

Geoff asked me to find his social security card. This is not an easy task. I'm not very organized, I'm not known for my organizational skills. They say when one person lacks a specific skill, many times their significant other will take over in that arena to compensate for the other person. I have become MUCH more organized since marrying Geoff. I knew I was in for a treat when searching for this card. I went though the envelope I keep all our important stuff in, marriage certificate, birth certificates, social security for me and Sawyer, passports and such but no social security card was to be found with my husband's name on it. The search continued. Boxes, envelopes, files, folders, I pushed on. I pulled a small box from the corner and start searching through the contents, old valentines cards from me (Oh man, I just realized he is going to KILL me if he reads this. Shhh bloggy friends, don't tell him I'm writing about this!) and... AND, let me take a breath, pictures and cards and letters... not from me... from his EX GIRLFRIENDS! It was his EX Girlfriend box!

Stop for a minute: What would you do, right here, right at this moment? Discovery of the box. THE BOX. What would you do?

I looked through the pictures, started reading the cards and my stomach hurt. I don't think this would be a big deal if my husband just got with chicks and hooked up whenever but he wasn't that guy. He is sensitive and loving and when he invests his feelings in someone, he is all in. I knew these were just girls but girls he probably loved. Girls that hurt him, broke his heart, made him cry, made him think, made him re-evaluate things in his life. Made him think things like in that Michelle Branch song, would one person wind up sorry that the other moved on? Would one wish they had the other?

Email exchange:

Me: I'm over looking for your card. Done. In the process I found the ex-girlfriend box and I'm totally grossed out! The search is all you!

Him: Uh-oh. Am I in trouble?

Me: No, I know you had girlfriends, I'm not dumb, I just don't want to find them tucked into some corner of OUR bedroom. P.S. I'm WAY cuter!


He had girlfriends before me. Of course he did. I had a boyfriend before him... well, long before I met him and I only had one boyfriend ever before I met my hubby, so whatever, point is, I HAD ONE TOO! He was someone I loved, someone who broke my heart and someone I thought I could always end up with but time goes by and people get smarter. When I met Geoff, the EXACT day I met him, I knew he was someone I could be with forever. I knew. People say you will know and I called them liars until that day. Geoff was someone different. There is not anyone on this planet more perfect for me than Geoff. If I had not flown to Denver that day, not gone out because I felt bloated, declared it a night in because everyone else flaked on plans, I would have never met the most perfect man for me, I won't say that I have never thought about my ex or other boys I liked but never once have I thought they will one day wish they had me and obviously I don't wish I had them. Life happens and takes you places and people get hurt and people fall in love and one day I think you get to a point where things fall into place, your life is what it should be and all past experiences led you to this most perfect place.

To put it in a nutshell, I think Michelle Branch's song is bull.

If someone broke up with you, didn't try hard enough to make a relationship work, they don't like you. It's soooo simple. Why do we wonder what things mean, why so and so did something that didn't make sense, not call you back, not treat you the way you wanted, bailed on a date? The excuses go on and on on. Simply, they don't like you. They. Don't like. You.

Move on.

In my opinion, "Sooner or later" they AREN'T going to come around. They won't be sorry when they figure out. That you (or I) were not what they what they needed and they aren't going to wish they had us. And I don't wish I had them. Do you? And I know my husband doesn't either. It doesn't matter if there are a few pictures in our room. Those pictures can be a reminder that without the other girls, there wouldn't be me. Life without Geoff is something I couldn't bear and all those moments, love and sadness on both ends brought us to a point in our life where we met, maybe the best day ever. And my friend's friend doesn't wish she married her first boyfriend. She doesn't. And if all we did was live in the past, what a boring and grey life we would lead.

However, I do think that a song like Michelle Branch's song keeps you standing when all you want to do is fall. Keeps your head on your neck when all you want to do is fall apart but sooner or later you're going to figure out that life is totally awesome, even the crappy parts. Though, at that moment of anger, you want wish in the future you could look back at that one person who broke you, point and laugh in their face but when future comes, you are too happy to be vengeful to someone else and most likely, that other person could care less.

OR am I wrong. Do you wish you had someone? Did you let someone go you should not have? Have you made a relationship mistake you would do anything to take back? Did you sit back while someone you loved said "I do" to someone that was not you?

Let me know... sooner or later.

Sour Sally

Blah, blah, blah, happy new year. I'm kind of lame today, a little annoyed maybe, running low on patience, REALLY LOW ON PATIENCE am tired and feeling fat. Ugh.

Let me clarify. I'm incredibly lucky. I have an amazing husband with great abs, a cutie super smart son, the best and coolest friends, new diamond earrings (Did I tell you guys this?! They are gorgeous and HUGE! WOW!), I'm taken care of in every way. Things in my life in general could not be more perfect but can I just complain for a second?!

Short sales: rated S for STUPID.

They are the stupidest of stupid and I stick my tongue out at them.

We bid in August. It's now January.

Do you hear them? Do you hear them? I hear them... crickets.

Well, to be fair, we heard that the first lien holder approved. We now wait on the second. Guess they don't have much of a say but can hold up a sale and I'm sick of holding.

Speaking of holding, every time we get a hold of the sellers agent, he says, and I'm not joking, "Oh yeah, hey! Weird, I'm on hold with the bank for you RIGHT NOW! Call you back!"

And then do you know what we hear?

Crickets.

Like he is on hold for months. That is one expensive phone bill. I don't get it. If a bank in a foreclosure can approve a deal in a matter of minutes (and we know this, thanks to the Breck house), but how in the world does a bank take so dang long. The amount we bid under the listing price would of been made up in mortgages payments by US at this point.

We are having a baby in May and swear on Liza Minnelli, if they don't approve soon, I'm going to talk to Geoff about looking at other places OR we will just be squatters. Not only do I want to be squished in here with two kids, a husband and my hormones, but I think we have a renter that needs to be moved in Feb. 1st. The renter is GREAT news (unless it falls through) and I don't feel like we should lose this 12-24 month lease because a stupid bank has communication issues and loads of excuses.

I warn you, unless you have a year to spare and maybe more DO NOT BID ON A SHORT SALE! They suck BALLS and you may murder someone in the process.

It's January 1st, I had the most amazing year, we have so many more amazing things to look forward to and I'm wallowing in frustration. Somebody slap me.

All I'm hearing today is how happy people are, maybe a little hungover but happy and thankful. Misery loves company and I'm throwing a pity party. Who wants in? Tell me, WHAT is PISSING you off?! It's okay, vent away, I'm here for you!

Oh, one more thing THIS post just made me laugh, so after joining my piss party, check him out!