Wearing Cardboard

All I did was say 'no' and she looked at me in disgust. Seriously. I'm thinking, you work at a bra shop lady, what's so bad about a girls boobs sans wire?!?!

I wasn't wearing a bra and honestly I don't wear one very often.

They are annoying, they aren't that comfy and when your boobs go from a pretty sweet accessory to only noticing them through a microscope, you would go braless too.

I wouldn't of even been in there if my husband didn't give me slight push. "Babe," he says looking down at my chest, "you don't have to stuff, you know I love you just as you are."

You are my husband, you should, but did you just say "stuff"?

"I don't STUFF! I never have! I've always been comfortable in my own skin, YOU KNOW THAT!"

Fine, so I did wear a bra, sometimes. AND, when I did wear one it was only because I had to. He had a right to mention the 'stuffing' thing. I mean, when I wore a bra, I wore my old ones and they were so big it was like waring two cardboard boxes on my chest tied around my back and neck with some rope. Did I mention bra's suck?

So, he said I should go get some new ones, and I did. Well I was trying to until Miss Bra Snood of the world looked at me like it was a travesty that I wasn't wearing one.

I mean, really? Get over it. I thought all the cool people were doing it.

Jennifer Aniston



Cameron Diaz




So why can't I?

Me-"I need to be measured, I have no idea what size I am."

Bra Snood- "Well, what size is your last bra"

Me- "Size big. It's too big, hence me not wearing one." DUH

Bra Snood- "BUT WHAT SIZE?"

I'm really not her biggest fan.

She measured me and I was on my way to the fitting room with a box of bras. A box. Do you know how many bra's come in a BOX?!?! Neither do I! After tying on about 50 and seeing the same thing over and over again, boobies in a lace prison, I was over it.

I just grabbed one.

Me with bra-ish thing in hand- "This one. "

Her: " Ahhh, is that the one, like THE one."

She was way too excited. Is this like a wedding dress or something, it's a damn bra and if you keep it up, I'll continue to go braless, run in your store and do jumping jacks, just hand me the bra and let me be on my way. I don't even LIKE bras!

I think she got my drift by the look on my face, but she held my hand and rushed me over to the bra 'section' to pick colors. Like, isn't this whole damn store a BRA SECTION?!?! I guess not, because EACH bra has it's own 'section' with sizes, and strap colors and material selection. I don't even have this big of a closet and all this space is dedicated to ONE BRA?!?!

After the whole thing, they didn't even have that bra in my size, in the whole freakin' SECTION, AND no, they don't sell the ones in the box, those are just for trying on. Those are are so everyone can squeeze their knockers into the same bra before purchasing a BRAND NEW SHINY, HAPPY BRA.

Awesome, all this for nothing.


So, I'm back to the cardboard boxes.