Ball Game

The other night:










Baseball + Coronaritas...

Coronaritas-

2 Coronas
1 can limeaid
1 limeaid can filled with tequilla
Stir and enjoy! These are my new favorite thing, a must try!

Equals a great night!!!

When my nights don't look like this however, they look a lot more like this.

Love you all!

Husband Proofing

Last night I snuggled up in bed, exhausted from a super fun weekend, ready for some down time and shut eye. I leaned over to Geoffs night stand, grabbed the remote and shot out of bed.

Two weeks prior: I'm in line at the grocery store. The weather is warming up and I'm excited for my runs to shift from indoors to outdoors, from three miles to ten plus. For me, gum is a running necessity. I went back and forth on whether I should buy said gum and where I would hide it so my husband can't find the purchase. He is not big enough for gum. I decide to purchase the gum anyway and continue with check out.

Sometime over the course of two weeks, the gum got out of hiding and though I've only had two pieces, half the pack is gone. He found it.

Back to last night: I shot out of bed, walked the remote over to my husband who worked on peeling chewed gum off the back of the remote.

He is not big enough for gum.

This made me think of baby proofing.

When fingers start exploring the outlets and everything that can be picked up goes straight for the mouth, and a once little lazy thing can scoot about everywhere, I figured it was time to baby proof.

There are a lot of things to think about when baby proofing. " THINK LIKE A BABY" they tell you. Really, because I don't think they think all that much.

There are hundreds of websites, so many help articles, lists of what to buy with everyones countering advice.

MUST BUY OULET COVERS.

DO NOT BUY OUTLET COVERS, babies can pull them out and then they becoming a choking hazard. Your baby will die from you trying to child proof. Outlet covers are the devil, you must buy a safety cover plate instead.

Huh?

Put a gate at the top of your stairs but make sure it's not a pressure mounting gate because you child an push it out and tumble down the stairs and die. Ahhhhh!

Toilet locks are a must, if you don't have them, you child can drown and die.

Must have a stove guard.

Stove guard is NOT enough, stove must be locked in so toddler can not pull it down and die.

What kind of Hulk toddler can pull a stove on top of themselves???

Obviously there is no shortage of information and one can decide the level of paranoid they are at and just how in depth they choose to child proof.

With all this child proofing junk, my question is, where are the husband proofing products?

There seems to be a fix for all things baby but nothing for husbands.

I'm at a loss on how to house proof a husband.

I've said it a thousand times before, GUM GOES IN THE TRASH. Gum does not go in your mouth then onto the side table when you are finished. It doesn't go on the back of the remote. I doesn't go on the top of a candle in the living room. If you can't discard gum like a big boy, you can't chew gum like a big boy.

Shoes do not go onto the white duvet cover after tromping around outside in the rain. Yes, there is a purpose to the duvet cover, to cover the comforter, but that does not mean we treat it like a tarp. Shoes come off before we get in bed.

Speaking of bed, sometimes pillows are decorative accessories. Yes, I know there are more than two pillows on the bed and you don't understand why we take them off the bed before we go to sleep, but that doesn't mean we should sell them on craigslist. I know I say, what we don't use, we get rid of but we use them to please the eye, kind of like lingerie. Get it now?

Not everything goes into the dishwasher. Yes, I love that you 'cleaned up'. Very nice. We hand wash our pots and pans, steak knives, anything of Sawyers and a few other things. After you clean, I THEN pull these things OUT of the dishwasher and hand wash them. I appreciate the gesture though.

Sawyer is easy. You read a few websites, you decide how freaked out you want to be and follow the advice.

Husbands are much more difficult. He can get into the hidden gum, he can go outside by himself then run inside and jump onto the bed without 'mommy' taking off his shoes. He can use the decorative pillows as his personal in bed food tray and smash his gum onto the back of the remote because, duh, comfort first.

Sigh.

Where is all the house proofing husband advice? Gum guard? Covers for the duvet cover? WHERE ARE ALL THE FREAKED OUT WIVES? I'm thinking all the baby proofing advice in the world won't keep my husband from wadding his gum on the back of the remote then half an hour later, Sawyer cruises by, picking up the remote (one of his favorite toys), putting the old gum into his mouth, then choking. Ever thought of that CRAZY WEBSITES??? EVER THOUGHT OF THAT?!?!

Because, "If you aren't big enough to discard it, you aren't big enough to chew it!" doesn't seem to work in my house.

Help.

Downtown Drivers

We heard a loud screech and then a huge BANG. I ran to the window just to see the front of your car rammed into the back of a very beautiful Mercedes. Poor Mercedes. You hit it so hard, the Mercedes ran into the car in front of her. (Mercedes is a she because shes are pretty. Like me, aren't I soooo pretty??? AREN'T I?!?! Sarcasm) Back to the idiot. Idiot hit TWO cars, two cars that were PARKED. At that point Geoff and I are glued to our balcony watching what it looked like to us, you about to drive away. Geoff pulled out the video camera to record you and get a close up of your license plate. Watch out buddy, you never know who is watching. Oh, did I also mention we know the Police Chief guy? Yeah, we know WHO to give that video tape to, do the right thing. As you were pulling away, two guys run across the street with acoustic guitars over their shoulders clapping. They were running, guitar probably jamming into their hip getting across the street to tell you, 1- Pull over, we ALL saw you, and 2-clapping is out of sarcasm, because you ran into a parked car. Parked. Car. Idiot.
You proceed to pull into a parking spot large enough for two cars that you had trouble parallel parking into were you narrowly missed hitting ANOTHER PARKED CAR.

Brakes are your friend buddy.

Several people came out pointing to the cars. Geoff and I guessed who owned the Mercedes. Poor Mercedes. Guy with the belly? White socks, black shoes man? Girl with the Starbucks? Interesting sweater couple? All guesses were wrong.

Geoff wanted to get out our megaphone and yell funny things to the Ford owner. I said no and hoped that you felt bad and stupid enough as it is. Remember that, I'm nice, despite what ANYONE tells you!

Finally the police show up. You did a really bad job on your sobriety test. Almost fell over during you straight line walk. Just so you didn't feel too bad, I performed one too. I followed your lead. Okay, feet together. Check. One foot in front of the other, no, heel to toe, no spaces in between each foot as you walk the line. Walk the line. We walked the line. Me up here, you down there. All eyes on you. You never know who is watching. I passed. You got handcuffed.

Poor Mercedes.

I'll miss this about Downtown.

Dear Denver drivers: You never know who is watching.

I feel all over the place.

You know your old when your husband brings home a dust buster and you are so excited, people would think he brought home Jessica Simpson's wardrobe. I'm getting up there. It's a fact.

So that is what's new here, a dust buster.

My husband is officially not working and has been home for about three weeks. I was really nervous and equally excited for him to be finished with his job of ten years. I wasn't sure how we would do spending all day, every day together. I always loved weekends and the random day it snowed so hard, no one makes it into work, but constant days together was something we have not done before. I heard from my friends how they loved their husbands home but were ready for them to go into work when Monday hits, and I understood that at times, but so far, so good. Good actually doesn't describe it, in general, having him home the last few weeks has been GREAT! You forget how easy tasks were before you had a child until you get the opportunity to do them without kid in tow. Who knew the grocery store could be relaxing, standing in line almost meditative because you don't have a crying, toy throwing baby in your cart. YES, the grocery store has been nice! I wonder if I am subconsciencely forgetting items just to have an excuse to go back.

I also feel like I'm losing some of my ambition and passion for things. Sawyer's birthday party for example. I could not WAIT for June 1st to approach so I could start putting plans into action. I looked up bakeries around the area for cake, nailed down a theme, colors, thought about who we could invite, where it would be held, what food I wanted to serve. I was a little too excited to plan a birthday that was six months away. Now I need to get my butt into action and I have no desire. I don't feel like making invites, ordering a cake, reserving the party room. I'm just... blah. The crazy thing is, it seems like a lot of you feel the same too. I've read so many of your posts lately regarding a feeling of boredom, laziness, or just a mood my friend and I call, The Funk. or being in a funk. I might be in a funk. I guess that is why I haven't written much lately.

So what is the deal with our Funks and how do we get out? It must be in the water! Ugh!

On another note, I'm REALLY missing my friends in California. It's been too long since I've seen a lot of them and I'm having withdrawals. If you are reading this California friends, I miss you, A LOT! Each one of you have popped in my mind recently. One friend was in the car laughing at a joke I told to myself (because Kim, you would of thought I was HILARIOUS!), I'm at the grocery store (with you Janice) and want to keep shopping and keep shopping. Everytime I'm being funny-mean, Linds, you are just rolling on the floor with me laughing. I miss you guys and will try to come out there soon. Maybe you guys will get me out of my funk.

Until then, I'm going make out with my dust buster.

Love you all tons times tons to the tenth degree!!!

me.

Cheese.

No this post isn't an anti-dairy post, it's about me NEVER taking pictures. I NEVER take them. I lived in Turks and Caicos for about two years the only thing I took home was a fuzzy memory and a high alcohol tolerance; no pictures. I've taken a lot more pictures ever since I had Sawyer, but every picture is of him and nothing else. I'm on a quest to take more pictures. Here are a few from this week.


My partner in crime.



Geoff convinced me to eat as Sawyer does. With bib.


The girls at the Fillmore in Denver.


A freezing morning in Breckenridge. Geoff went to take a closer look at something in the water and I snapped a picture. Think this picture looks cool, or artsy or something. Whatever, it's not of Sawyer so stop making fun of me!


Us on the patio in Breck. This picture made me feel really old and wrinkled the first time I saw it. It's like you see yourself but don't really recognize your own face. Maybe I shouldn't say wrinkled, uhhh, this picture made me feel really mature... yeah, mature. That's it. See all the 'character' in my face but GAWD my husband is hot!


To taking pictures, good friends, hot men and wearing bibs! Cheers.

Blogging Moms have Internet Addiction?

It wasn't long after I found out I was pregnant when I quit my job. The friendly skies were not so friendly to my pregnant, morning sickness self. I sat in the jump seat next to passengers with a barf bag in my lap. Every take-off I threw up. After reading a pretty detailed occupational report regarding flight crew and miscarriages, my letter of resignation was in two days later. Nothing was going to lesson my chances of seeing this baby grow inside of me. I needed to go.

A new resident of Denver and recently married, I found it difficult to make friends versus anywhere I have been before. I never blamed Denver for this. I think when you are in a relationship, making friends is just a different experience. You make friends with other couples or you pretty much don't make friends. Being pregnant didn't help either. I wasn't invited to the bar for a girls happy hour. I wasn't invited to the margarita parties. So many social events are wrapped around drinking and when you are the odd one out, well, other's don't really want to make you feel uncomfortable. So, you are either awkwardly invited with a, "I know you can't drink, but..." or you simply don't go. Winter time hit and when everyone hit the slopes, I guess I hit the internet.

I knew no other preggos, I was the first of my friends to be 'with child' and I was completely engrossed with everything that was happening within my body. I loved it. I wanted to learn everything I could, understand all the odd/amazing/absolutely disgusting things that was going to happen to my body. I researched every ache and pain. I read article after article. I brought books home from the local bookstore and read what round ligament pain was all about, why I had to pee so much in early pregnancy, what to do if the cramps worsen. I devoured all the information that I think was humanly possible and eventually happened upon a site, I-am-pregnant.com. There were detailed pictures of the fetus growing inside of you, weekly updates and the best part, people writing in below about what they were feeling or experiencing at so many weeks pregnant. I know there are many sites like this, but I-am-pregnant had site monitors kicking off anyone that had anything mean to say. A very different story than most pregnant sites. We've got hormones RAGING in our bodies, we are uncomfortable, we are worried, we are excited, we are nervous, we are elated, we just don't know how we feel and those hormones can make a pregnant girl not very nice. This site was not filled with hateful comments, or reasons why one girl was smarter or better than the others. This site was polite. This site was informative. I loved this site. I was on it daily. I read what was going on with the other girls, we compared our experiences and I made a few friends. I think it's safe to say, I spent an excess amount of time on this one site, however, If it wasn't for this site, I'm not sure I would have made it through my pregnancy even slightly sane. I had to tell my stories to other pregnant woman that would understand, I just simply did not have that in the real world at that specific time. Do I regret spending that much time online at that period on my life? Not a bit.

This morning I read this article on moms with an internet addiction.

When my husband got home from work, I was clingy and dying for someone to talk to. I started to feel like a crazy person. I was becoming depressed without any interaction," she says. Desperate, she went online and found the community she needed. "I'd talk to people in chat rooms for hours." But not about babies or parenting. "I needed to feel like a normal person who could have normal conversations that weren't about breastfeeding or how many ounces my son gained." Soon, she was spending as many as eight hours online every day.

Though I believe that anything done in excess is not healthy, I don't think finding something outside of your children is.

Fast forward to today and I visit the site maybe once a month and blog here pretty regularly. I am online daily checking emails from professors and realtors, working on my online classes, researching travel deals, reading your blogs and researching the next random thing like the consistency of my son's poop and what that means. More milk? More fiber? I don't think the amount of time I spend online is unhealthy, I just feel that the direction of the world has moved online instead of in person. My classes for example, instead of being in a classroom, all of that time is transferred to my couch and laptop. Does that make me unhealthy? Does that make me a bad mom? Does that mean I have an addiction?

The article goes on to say that one mom quit blogging after six years to spend more time to meet new people. I just feel that some people move from one extreme to the other very quickly and just because moms are finding something to do outside of their children refusing to just be defined as only a mom is not a bad thing. I don't want an article to make any mom feel bad about not spending 24/7 with their children. You need balance. You need other adult time. You need a release but more than anything, you need to do what works best for you. My blog helps me release the words in my head and throws them out to whoever feels like reading them and after I press publish, I feel a littler lighter.

Thanks for making me feel lighter.

My question is, how do you feel about the article? How much time do you spend online? Does it interfere with your life or does it enhance it? How do you differentiate a good habit with a bad one?

When Holly meets Yoga

Yoga inspires me to write to you guys. I just don't get relaxation out of it, yoga cracks me up, EVERY TIME I TAKE IT! Last night the class started with the instructor talking about our gifts. I thought, don't get me started on gifts, I SUCK at giving gifts. He went on to ask what we get out of yoga, what we got out of last week's class and how last week's class changed us as a person to want to give back to other people; give them our gift. He went on about sharing that gift with the current class we were taking. Eyes are closed, and I'm laughing. Please don't pick me to share my gift with the rest of the class, I think my 'gift' might be a little different than what you are expecting. The only gift I thought of was how dumb I am and the post I shared with you last week. (Following someone in the mirror to only find out I was following myself!) THAT was my gift just proving how sucky I am at gift giving, THAT was what I gave back to others. A story about myself. Wow. Then I can't help but wonder how many people are holding in their farts at that moment in time. If the instructor can see our body alignment in these crazy poses and can spot the tiniest thing we need to adjust to make that pose perfect, does he also notice how hard we may be squeezing our butt cheeks together to not be the one that farts out loud in class? There has to be more than one person at this exact moment squeezing their cheeks together, which THEN brings me to the conclusion that I AM SUCH A BOY! The instructor goes on about gift giving and what others get out of our class, who benefits besides us after each yoga session. I already have my answer. He is talking about kind gestures, being more patient with others, and blah, blah, blah and ALL I can think about is having hot yoga crazy positions sex with my husband. OBVIOUSLY he would be the one to benefit from my new 'gift' of flexibility during our bow-chicka-bow-bow. I'm absolutely distracted from the 'practice' and totally focused on the hilarity of farts and how awesome sex with my husband is going to be later. Too bad 'later' I was TOO sore after doing all the pose's wrong due to the distraction of farts and sex to actually get any. I sabotage myself yet again and am not the least bit surprised. I hate you yoga.

To my Peeps.

Happy Easter!!!

Please refrain from working with an especially hot jalapeno, forgetting to wash your hands, hopping on the couch and rubbing your eyes from all that exhausting (I wish I could say cooking.) drink making. So, whatever, is there a better way to ring in the Easter night than with a Mango-Jalapeno Margarita (or 5)? DIdn't think so.

Love you all, even with a scorching left eye.

*tear. And not because I'm sensitive.


Meeee

The Chase

*Wrote this while I was bored on a plane a while back and am dedicating it to the Vagina Man (Was it a he or a SHE?!) running from the cops in California this morning. I love California and I LOVE a good car chase!*


There is something missing in my life. There is a dark hole of nothingness that is bothersome. It's this absence of 'something' that is absolutely qualifying me as incomplete. This is annoying. Anyone missing something is usually annoyed. I know. I am good at this. Some would say I am a professional, but as I look around I see I have my cell phone (which is shocking really), ipod, credit card, manual, all the things I am missing on a normal day. It is 9:23am and I realize what it is, what I am missing a good car chase. At 9:24am, I know (and I say KNOW) it is not just me, but the world. The world is missing a good car chase!

You know what I'm talking about too, not one of those you see on the freeway where the driver is just waiting for a good opportunity to pull over, no, I'm talking OJ Simpson , all systems down sort of car chase! One of those car chases where families are re-united, kids aren't going to school, your calling in sick for work and though your boss knows you're not violently puking up "bad sushi", they are not mad, no! Because, they want to be home on their lazy boy too! EVERYBODY KNOWS ITS HAPPENING! EVERYONE! If you are NOT home when this is happening, you make it home, or to the nearest friends with a well-stocked kitchen, cause this car chase is not going to end anytime soon. AND! Even if you did try to go to work, by the time you turned down 'that road', and everyone has 'THAT ROAD', it would be closed, just in case the CRAZY responsible for this awesome car chase just might turn down there. Granted, you are three states away, but hell, this car chase is insane!!!

So, you don't go to work (Damn Sushi!), and you may or may not make it home, but you're somewhere watching this car chase. By now this chase has got to be getting some serious coverage, so your changing the channels looking for the news station with the best coverage, and even though they all look the same, you still wonder why the Cosby Show is still on with only a tiny news banner at the bottom of the scree. I mean, even though I love, LOVE, The Cosby Show, we have all seen the episode where Rudy is being too bossy to her little boyfriend, so back the car chase. And there it is…THERE IT IS!!!! A close up of the drive, a chick!!! A crazy B*! That's what everyone is going to call her. So, I don't like to curse, it's not my thing, but you can say it if you want. Crazy B, and, years from now, all you have to say is, remember that car chase with the crazy B??? Everyone would know. That's all that needed to be said, they would remember exactly where they were, whom they were with. As your watching it, you can't help but ask, "Where she gunna go?" You ask your buddy like they can see into the future. Crazy B is speeding down the road, people are now outside their homes waving up to the helicopters hoping to get one second of birds eye view fame, all major freeways are being closed for traffic entering and you can't help yourself, staring at the T.V., watching crazy B, "Where she gunna go?"

Oh, and this case it's in L.A., because that's where I live, so of course that makes it more interesting for me, and there are more options in Los Angeles. (I feel.) And if this were me, if I was the one in the chase, BEING chased, I would have signs. I would totally have signs. I would make my partner in crime; yes, I would have a crime partner hold up the signs to the windows for these telegraphic cameras. The signs would ask, "Where she gunna go?" Oooh, and I would be driving in my friend's car, cause she has a sunroof, and my crime friend would then launch a kite through the sunroof! A kite! Yeah, it would have some sort of Disney character on it, or something, cause that feels ironic, and sign holding gets boring, so here comes the kite! I'm all concentrated on the roads, thinking of all the ways I'm going to trick the Cops and keep the masses at home entertained, and what a better way to kill two birds with one stone by being responsable for a kite flying, fleeing car chase?!?!

I guess I would have to plan this out ahead of time, you know because I have signs and kites and a friend involved. So, I would have to be super tricky. I would be all up in Griffith Park and everyone would think it's over, "It's all over from here" they would say, because really, "where she gunna go?" BUT NO, I would have a secret route all planned out ahead of time, with all my plans and all of a sudden make a crazy turn, and be on the move. You are cheering silently at home because it's better than a large budget action, the story climaxes, the kite if flying high (Hopefully not being snagged by one of those Griffith Park trees, but that's just details.) and the car chase continues, and the police are all left on the sides of the road at Griffith, and the people at home are thinking, "Wow! I could have been there! I mean, I have been there once before, I could have been there today! I could have been killed!" So those people are all worked up, now referring to this day, not only as the day of the car chase with the crazy B, but also as they day they almost died. There is a statement from one of the officers, close up and all, "Sometimes these things are hard, we just don't ever know where she is going to go." Everyone at home nods their head along like you were all there or something, chasing me or with me being chased. Monetary bets are being made as to how much longer the kite string is going to hold out, but if it does break, we have more signs You, in Pasadena, or wherever you are at hopes secretly that I will make a car chasing appearance near your home, and I just might, really, I might, because nobody knows, where she's gunna go?!

When Boys Meet Water

Just another reason people don't want to be seen with me.

Last night I taught kickboxing at 6pm and a butt and core class at 8pm. There was a yoga class at 7 and I decided that yoga could do my body could some good. I love yoga, used to take it ALL the time when I lived in L.A., but have not taken a yoga class in quite some time. I was hoping for a calmer, meditative class since I was a bit sore just from kickboxing. Normally, the calm classes, I stay completely away from, but that night, I could of used some relax time. This class was not calm, nor anywhere near relaxing. This was a push-up and handstand sort of yoga class and since some students know I teach, there was no wimpy modifications for me. I was going to bust out every one legged push-up and smile about it. In that aerobic room, the wall are all at weird angles. No 90 degree angle here and every wall but one is mirrored. Due to all the mirrored weird angles, no matter where you stand and where you look, you can always see yourself and other people. So, we were yogaing (Yeah, I just made that up.) along and the instructor starts using the real yoga term for things. If you have ever taken yoga, these terms are really ANOTHER LANGUAGE. I don't know that language. So, he's saying to do the uhhh, yashi-hookah-lookah-malama (made up) pose. I don't really know what to do and in our inverted position, I spot some chick in one of the mirrors that is easily within view to follow, so I don't look dumb. Every time I can't see the instructor, I'm following this girl. I notice that I have nothing to really worry about because everything she does, I do to about the same time. I'm golden! I've got this yoga stuff down!!

A few minutes later I notice me and that girl DON'T have things down. We ARE NOT doing what the class is doing. Of course I pick the wrong chick to copy! Why doesn't this girl do it right?! Is it her mission in life to make me look dumb? I look harder at this chick I'm following... I was following MYSELF!!!

Obviously I don't need any help to look dumb, I do that very well on my own.

Again, I understand if you guys don't want to hang out with me in public.

Than again, if brains aren't your thing, I've got this new yoga butt!

Dear Sawyer: 10 Months!!!

Last week I read over my pregnancy journal I wrote in when I was pregnant with you. A few things really made me laugh and a few things did not... like throwing up everything! I noticed all of month nine is completely blank. No offense, but I was sooo over you being in there and ready for you to be out in the world with me. Life is so much better having you around and I'm makes me soo happy and so sad to say Happy ten months!!!! It's gone by incredibly fast!

I'm a little late with writing this letter. We have just been so busy over here, haven't we? Right now you are standing at one of your toys, looking at me, waving hi to yourself and yelling, "MMmmmmmAAAmmmaaaaaa!!!" I'm right here kiddo, I'll always be here for you, forever. You've gotten a little louder lately, and this new wave thing is pretty cute. We have been waving 'hi' to you FOREVER now and the way you perform this trick, it looks like you are waving me in. Really, I think it's you imitating our wave from your perspective, or waving to yourself. Damn, you are cute.

So, back to the busy. This month we were on a serious house hunt. I love where we live but I think we are growing out of it. We are busting at the seams. Yesterday we officially put everything 'baby' into your room and your room is jam packed. I can't wait to have a bigger place with extra rooms. I'm craving to put together a play room for you, with a chalkboard, and a painting station and a building station with legos and linkin logs. I love linkin logs, that might be my station. Anyway, in complete shock and surprise, we actually found a house we are in love with. It needs some minor TLC and I stupidly attached myself to a house that is not ours. In an effort to achieve ownership of this place, we listed our current house on the market and ever since I feel like all I do is clean. Cook, take care of you, clean and then clean again. We've had two showings so far, and one of them we had a ten minute warning. Now, I make sure the house is five work minutes away from being spotless. With all of this house mumbo-jumbo, I didn't get to write your 'Dear Sawyer' letter until now. I apologize sincerely.

Every month I fall more in love with you. Just last night I put you to bed and walked into the room saying, "I just LOVE him!" I don't know what you do, but you've got this spell over me and most other people. Everyone just loves you. You continue to love brunettes and stare at any dark haired pretty girl. At daddy's work party the other night, you stared at one of the girls he works with. Would not take your eyes off of her until the dark haired server walked by and then you got distracted by more prettiness. It cracks me up.

We had a weight issue with you at your nine month check up and the doctors wanted me to implement formula. I cried my eyes out not wanting to do it. Against every fiber in my being, we tried to give you some. You will have nothing to do with it, you swat the bottle, kick it, and in general show extreme hate towards that thing. Yay for you! Instead of fattening you through fake milk, I fatten up your food instead. You've seen a lot of egg yolk and avocado lately. A little drizzle of some olive oil in your veggies. Now, you eat whatever daddy and I do. Last night you had some of my Chipotle turkey burgers. You loved them! We even had some today for lunch and you chowed down. You like anything spicy and savory;a trend I hope continues! With all this yummy food, we think you gained almost two pounds in one month. I think that is pretty good and we will know for sure later this week at the doctors office.

You still do not want to crawl properly but you are now doing this army crawl thing. Elbows and belly, dragging yourself along. Keeping a low profile, perhaps, not wanting me to catch you inching towards something you are not suppose to touch. Daily, we hold your hands as you stand but one day this month, you took steps like walking was the most natural thing in the world. Now, you laugh every time you realize we are about to hold your hands and let you walk to wherever you desire. You've got amazing balance and I truly think you will take a few steps on your own before my next letter to you. Everyone said you would walk before you would crawl, and I think they all might be right!



You are for sure a mamas boy but lately you are showing some serious love for daddy. You laugh every time he comes into your view. You scream (in a happy sort of way) just to get his attention when you know he is near but not paying attention to you. You get out of control excited at times just to be in his arms. A few times I got a little teary eyed seeing you two together. Daddy was soooo happy to see you come into this world. You made some of his dreams come true just by being here and watching you return the love is actually beautiful.

In honor of your 10th month of being on earth, we took a swimming lesson with, who else, you buddy Ethan! We thought for sure you would cry the entire time. Shockingly, you seemed to like it a tiny bit. You splashed with one hand and dunked your own face a few times. So far, you love to roll around like the water is the floor. Of course, you don't feel the effects of sinking because I'm there holding you, so you continue to just roll on top of the water. The instructor laughed saying she's never seen that before. So, go you! Of course, that isn't quite the direction we want to take, but I'll happily accept rolling over versus screaming baby in water any day!!! Of course, these lessons are also in preparation for the boat trip we have coming soon. I'm SOOO excited for that trip, you have NO idea!

Like always, you are totally amazing, you are more and more fun everyday unless you happen to be teething that day, and in those days, I could possibly sell you on the black market, but your cuteness prevails.

I your guts!!!!

Until next time,

Your mommy

A Really Handsome Man

Last night Sawyer was extremely interested in the computer screen, so I decided to turn on Photo Booth and snap a few of us hanging out. Notice the hat off on the last picture. He pulled it off right before the camera took the picture and almost posed right away. Silly guy, guess he decided his hair was worth showing off.

You Don't Want to be my Ex

I always said when we move out of our place downtown I would cry. I love it here. I love how close we are to everything, you can walk to any sporting event, the cute boutique shops, some of the best restaurants, parks, and so much more. This is the place I saw my husband for the first time, the place he asked me to be his girlfriend, the place we first whispered to each other 'I love you'. This is the living room we sat in while telling our families we were expecting, the kitchen I smoked out trying to impress this man with my cooking, the couch Sawyer was on when he first smiled. This is the floor he first rolled over from back to stomach on and the floor he hit when he first rolled off the couch when BAD mommy went to grab something off the table This is the place we invited our friends over to play Rock Band and Wii Fit, the is the bathroom I hung out in all night with my first case of food poisoning. This is the place we cuddled for the first time together and the place we cried at for the first time together. This is OUR place and the truth is I am excited to sell it.

HUH?

I never thought I would utter those words. We want to sell it and sell it fast. We are ready for more, we are ready for a house, we are ready for more room, we are ready to leave the place we have considered home.

Remember that courage we needed? Thanks to you guys, we are jumping in. We are doing everything we can to make this work, though we are not so sure it will. We are doing everything we can but sometimes you need some extra help, like miracles. We have to sell our place super fast and find Geoff a job in record time. We don't want to make a dumb decision but we don't want to leave this opportunity without sprinting as hard and as long as we can towards it. There are a few days we ran out of breath. My legs are getting a little bit tired, but we are sprinting towards this house. If we don't make it to the finish line on time, at least we know we tried At least we know we worked as hard as we could, as fast as we could, and if someone grabs that house before us, so be it.

I don't want someone to be in that house though. That is our house. We found the house we were meant to live in. That is OUR backyard. That is OUR kitchen. I feel like if someone else purchases that house besides us, I'll always think about it. The one that got away. I might daydream every so often about the times we could of had together. I might drive by it once and see the new happy couple: family and house. We had our eyes on it first. We had future plans together. Don't swoop in on us, we are trying as hard as we can.

Monday we met with our realitor regarding selling our place and trying to get into that house. She said the worst thing to do is to mentally move out of your current house. "Be content where you are and when the time is exactly right, all will fall into place." Did I mentally move out? Did I mentally move into the other? Hell, I've been a frequent visitor to all the remodeling websites picking out our new backsplash. Granite colors? Check. Bathroom vanity picked out? Check. Furniture placement? Check. House warming party planned? Check. I didn't mentally move out. No, I did more, I mentally moved out, moved into a house we don't have, mentally decorated it, mentally invited my friends over. I'm mental.

My head is wrapped around this house and I can't pull it free. I don't want to pull it free.

Geoff and I decided that we need to think about NOT purchasing this house. Sometimes timing doesn't work out. I realized this is why I've been in the dumps. This is why for the last two days, little things bother me like never before. I feel like we are sprinting knowing that we won't get to the finish line first and it's all I can think about. I obsess over it. Sometimes I work best with opposition and that is what I need to do here, because if we don't get this house, I might be that crazy, psycho, stalker ex that people whisper about but never confront.

And you don't want to see me crazy, do you?