Say My Name, Say My Name!

So, the title of my blog has been kind of bothering me lately. I named it without thinking for even a split second. What was I saying again is something I say a little too often in conversations because I get distracted, and change the subject about thirty times before I go back and finish the first story I was trying to tell. "What was I saying again?!" Anyway, I feel like it's non-descriptive. So, I'm thinking of changing it, you know, before I get all famous for being pretty.

Life of a LoDo Mommy

Mishaps of a LoDo Mommy

Downtown Baby


So, LoDo (For those of you not in Denver) stands for Lower Downtown. That's where we live, we don't have a backyard, we have bars. So, I thought describing a location that isn't too common for raising a child while being more descriptive of my life might be a better title. What do you think? I thought I would consult the people that actually read this first. Any ideas?!

Suck on This!

Oh, the pacifier. How much do we love thee? I'm not sure. I am so proud to say, Sawyer is weaning HIMSELF from this sucking device. Sawyer loves the paci, or he did. I was dreading taking this thing away from him. For him, it was comfort, for me, it was the only way I could take him off the boob without him crying! We brought one everywhere. Had backups when on vacation. I knew I had to limit the pacifier soon or he would be 30 something saying his vows slurred, drool running down his chin and a pacifier parked in the side of his mouth. That can't happen. I can't take credit for that sort of behavior. I am happy to say though, Sawyer is not so into the pacifier anymore and I feel sooo relieved! He uses it only in the crib for naps and bedtime and usually, he throws it out the back of the crib where I can't find it so he ends up with nothing. I dreaded the first night with nothing in his mouth and you know what? That kid looked up at me, smiled and fell asleep.

How did I score such a rad kid? I love you Sawyer. Thanks for making my job so easy.

Don't Think- Ski AND Drink!

So I'm starting to get addicted to these Colorado mountains. We spent the weekend at Keystone and had a blast. Keystone at this point of my skiing hobby is tops. Yes, I know, I don't have much to compare it to, but man, was it BEAUTIFUL there! I am holding out for Beaver Creek, I hear they give you warm chocolate chip cookies at the top of the lift, HELLO! So, there I am, at Keystone, ready to ski down the first run of the weekend. I'm nervous. There are people around. I have some spiked cider in me, my new favorite drink, warm apple cider and rum...yum (Look, I rhyme!). I ski to the edge of the mountain overlooking a lake. It was gorgeous. The feeling of warm apple cider in my stomach is gorgeous too. I head down, I'm doing turns, I'm getting my skies parallel. I'm rockin that hill. I'm good, like, I'm REALLY good! I'm getting what I think are edges down, I'm not running into anyone. I'm going... fast! Geoff heads down the mountain in front of me to video tape my professional ski abilities. I ski past him. I'm DAMN good!

Into the lodge for a drink.

I talk about how awesome that run is and how it's my favorite so far. Someone says how it is a good one, like a super long bunny hill. Umm, don't tell me that, I thought I was good.

I have another drink. That was no bunny hill.

I go out again. Becky is with me this time. She tells me how good I'm doing, how fast I'm going. I am good, I am fast.

We go again. I'm getting better, I'm getting FASTER. I love that run!

Back in the lodge, Geoff shows me the video of my awesome skiing. I have never seen such bad form or someone go sooo slow. And that is me thinking I'm great. I need another drink.


Day two...

Everyone went home Saturday night so it's just me, Geoff and Sawyer. I stay at the condo and watch Sawyer as Geoff skies and then we switch off. I'm going up the gondola. I'm excited for my turn. I decide to start off with the run I've already done three times. This place is huge and I stick with the same ol' thing. Shut up ok?! I'm going down. It looks REALLY steep. I can't turn. I practice my pole plants and fall. Several times I fall. I only fell once yesterday. I fall again. I can't turn. I think I made a WRONG turn. This isn't the super long bunny hill, this stuff is WAY more difficult. I fall, I feel my knee twist. Awesome. I'm sober. I ski. I'm horrible. I need more lessons. I KNOW I took a wrong turn. I'm really slow, I feel self conscience. I'm back at the lift. It WAS the same run. My knee is swollen. This is my first time skiing without a drinky drinky in my system.

Moral? Ski minus drinks equals injury.

My grandma always told me to learn from other people's mistakes so you don't have to make that mistake yourself.

Always drink before you ski. You're welcome.

I Rock.

Going Old School

Several years back I was Hell Bent on writing a book. I thought my life was interesting enough for people to not only want to read, but to invest money in and then read. I guess I really love myself! Seriously, wanna buy my book?! Anyway, I came across a few of my notebooks and actually made myself giggle. Maybe it's because anything in the past about yourself makes a person laugh like, what in the world was I thinking?! So, thought I would post a few things from my "book". See, funny already huh??? Here goes nothin'

-Written while living with Victoria and Kari (Also known as Psycho) in Chicago, trying to get my mind off the storm-

My roommate Victoria calls me the goldfish. She says it because I am distracted by shiny things. Not that it's the shininess of the 'thing' that distracts me, as it is just the things in general. I'm trying to tell a story and a song I like comes on over the radio. The story is then replaced by me lip singing but not the quiet kind, but the kind where it's not silent at all, rather it's me thinking I can sing the song better than so and so, so I sing louder to prove how awesome of a vocalist I am. Well, after coaching gymnastics and teaching aerobics since I was 18 my vocal cords are pretty much shot. OR, as a friend says, they sound clumsy. He's a vocal coach, so what does he know?! Point is, I get distracted, which reminds me, I HATE THUNDER! Well, I hate several things, bananas, flaky coconut, stomach aches, animal hair, ugly things, traffic in California and THIS thunder storm.

I need to call Victoria.

She answers, "What's up?"

"Well, thunder can't do anything to you right? Well, it's like third grade science, I KNOW it can't, but it can't like touch you or hurt you cause this crap is scary! It's like whole towns are blowing up and it's getting closer, like the thunder is chasing after me and not going to stop till it wins, and most things don't scare me but, AHHH, RIGHT THERE! Did you hear that?!?! I'm afraid the windows will shatter any second!"

Victoria explains thunder, the charged air, the reason for lightning and blah, blah, blah. I see it starts to rain which I also don't like becuase I WAS going to go running and now with this torrential downpour and the sounds of World War III, I can't step outside, I'm not even safe INSIDE! The thunder with my sort of luck will GET me. It will be the first time in history, I can see it now in the papers, Scientific Mystery! Thunder Kills Female, 24 years old. Friends say she led a charmed life. Well, they better say something nice. I interupt Victoria,

"Hey V, if I die, you have to say something good, like I was the funniest person you knew, OH, and pictures, don't choose one of those I'm having a fat day/month/year picutures, well, hey, I'll choose the pictures for you!"

"UH, WHAT?"

"Well, just in case, you know, with this whole thunder thing and all. Anyway, good talking to you, got to go."

I hang up the phone and am now sorting through old pictures.

Boys will be Boys

Sawyer in his favorite toy. He goes through favorites pretty quickly, but the bouncer has been his favorite for the last few weeks...



He kicks the crap out of the toys until the toy bar comes off completely...





Then he takes the end of the toy bar, the sharp part and puts it in his mouth. Like a good mommy, I don't TAKE it away, I TAKE pictures...



I love my little boy!

Twitter huh?!

Okay, I'm a little cranky. What the hell is this Twitter stuff?! It's like every time I finally get myself familiarized with something you ALL say is just sooo great, and oh Holly, you HAVE to do this, it's just soooo great, you change it up on me! WTF?! First it was this thing called e-mail. Okay I get it, e-mail is all important and stuff. Then it's cell phones. I think I was the last person in the state of California to own one. I just didn't understand why I wanted to ALWAYS be available for my work to call me... TO WORK! Then it was myspace. It took me a long time and a friend had to set mine up. Other people called me on their CELL PHONES to tell me to check my myspace. FINE. THEN! I get all into myspace and do stuff on it like post pictures and even click on those emotion face things and you guys are like, oh myspace sucks, go to facebook. What is facebook??? I didn't go on facebook until another friend set one up for me (Knowing that I would never do it myself.) and I start getting these e-mails saying, so and so wants to be your friend, and blah, blah, BLAH! Treating facebook like ice cold water I will eventually have to be swimming in, I step in slowly, toe first. People are poking me (not cool, don't poke me, that's just not cool), people are like, oh, click here I bought you a drink. I click and it's a virtual drink. Drink up, it's virtual. DON'T GIVE ME A VIRTUAL DRINK, IF YOU ARE BUYING ME A DRINK IT BETTER BE REAL, AND STRONG. REAL STONG! But, I'm getting into it. It has taken me a LONG time, but I'm getting it. You know I start to get something if what? That's right, if I post pictures and sometimes do my little mood thing. Facebook, I feel like ;-5. What is that anyway?! Now I'm hearing everyone is about Twitter. TWITTER? Internet, can you please stop making all this stuff that people get all involved in and then make me do it. Because I am a sucker for peer pressure I do it but WAY later than you all and by the time I understand this virtual friendship circle crap you switch it on me. Stop switching it on me! So, I'm trying to be a little non cave girl with technology and googled Twitter. This is the explanation I get...

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?

Is it just me or does this sound absolutely riduculous?! What are you doing? This whole network for a 'what are you doing?'?!?! Most of the time, I don't even know what I'm doing let alone sitting here pondering what the world's population is doing. I don't know about twitter, but if I want to know what your doing, most likely I'll call you. Maybe even send you a letter, as in from the mailbox outside your house. Remember that thing? I miss that thing.

So, seriously, um, I'm dying to know, what are you doing?!?!

Dear Sawyer, 6 months!

I got into the elevator and someone said how cute you are (like always) and that their daughter just had a baby. I asked how old and they said that the grand baby is now a year. I remember when I was a few weeks post-partum and people would congratulate me and tell me they just had a baby, only to find out that their baby was 4 + months. I always thought, just? That was MONTHS ago! Here you are SIX MONTHS OLD. Six! Six, and I feel like I JUST had you. That you just left my body in a somewhat awkward way. That I was just at the hospital. That I JUST brought you home. You are growing soooo fast. It makes me happy, but also a little sad. I mean, can you stay a baby for even a little bit?! I remember being pregnant with you and SIX months of pregnancy seemed like ETERNITY! Maybe that is what happens when you take away a girls cocktail, time slows to an incredible pace. Now I have you, daddy and a cocktail, that is AWESOME!

You had your doctors appointment yesterday and did so well. You smiled at the doctor, and took your shots like a man. I'm so proud of you every day, even when you are being pricked with poisonous needles. You did fall off your growth curve by less than a pound. The doctor said if the trend continues she wants me to add a formula bottle once a day to your food intake. Do you know how anti-dairy I am? I feel sooo thankful that I can breast feed you but this is no easy task. I don't make a lot of milk. I have to work hard on my milk supply and I'm not going down without a fight. I'm going to pump more, drink more boobie tea. I'm going to do whatever it takes, and if it doesn't work I will be sad. If you grow out of my supply, it will suck but I won't be surprised, your a growing man and my boobs are lazy. Damn lazy boobies.

Sawyer, this season is one of my favorites. Yes, I know it's cold, but it's holiday time. Thanksgiving we spent with Becky, Dave and Ethan. They may not be blood relatives, or even law relatives, but it's amazing that they feel pretty close to family and we only met them a few months ago. I feel very lucky to have met such a fun loving, adventurous, caring and cool family and hope our families remain close. They probably didn't know that meeting me meant I write about them online. Suckers! Christmas we will be flying to California to meet my side of the family and have Christmas with Aunt Jackie and Uncle Laurent. I'm VERY excited for that. I'm excited to see your reaction to Christmas lights, Christmas trees and all the balled up paper on the floor that you get to play with. You LOVE balled up paper! I also feel extremely lucky to have Jackie as a sister in law. She is AWESOME and you are going to love that she is your aunt. I guess what I'm getting to is that we are surrounded by a lot of great people, whether they are family or friends and these people know how to have a good time!

Also, this month you got to go to my favorite island, Turks and Caicos! There are some adults that are seriously envious of you. I don't think you are a beach bum like mommy. Every time we put your feet, hands, legs, or ANY parts of your body in water, you pulled away like it was some sort of skin eating acid. This is Caribbean water here kid! I talk about you being spoiled, but man you REALLY were spoiled there! Mommy lived on this island for a while and has lots of friends there. Let me just say that I have the most awesome friends in the universe. No one has as awesome of friends as me. My really awesome friends held you and loved you and flirted with you and bounced you and danced with you and bought you presents. I was laughing when I picked you up from day care and they said there was a bag of stuff to bring along with me. Nikki watched you during the lunch hour while Daddy and I were diving and Nikki bought you presents! See, your charm wins everyone over!



Sawyer, I am really excited to have more kids in the future. I am excited for you to have brothers and sisters. The thing is though, I don't think I will love them as much as I love you. I LOVE YOU! AND, if that is the case, so be it. I will tell him or her, "Kid #2, I don't love you as much as I love Sawyer, so you better do something to really win over my love.". You won't even have to do this while mommy is out of the room, I will tell them myself. My love is not un-conditional, you have to earn that kids!

All I have to say is you are the best. You have this adorable smile that changes every few weeks. You used to bite on your lips and now you stick out your tongue. I love it! You are a sweet guy. You go to bed beautifully. You are interested in everything. You love your head rubbed and like to rub other babies head as to show them how good it feels. You like to bring things up to your mouth and constantly try to drink from mommy and daddy's glass. You are getting better at tummy time. You are sitting up on your own for a few minutes until you get distracted and topple over. You are starting to reach for us to pick you up. You are the most amazing little thing to ever come into my life. I say little, because Daddy is the other really amazing thing to come into my life and you are smaller than him. So, yeah. I love you... until you do something that really disappoints me like not getting straight A's in school or not solving world hunger, not earning millions of dollars and buying your parents a yaught. Hear that?! We don't want a dingy!



I love you my 6 month old BIG BOY!

Britney Spears

I would like to say for the record I always believed in Britney Spears. Always. The first concert I ever went to was Will Smith. That's right, read it and be jealous. Anyway, good ol' Brit Brit was the opener, that's right OPENER and I liked her. Her moves reminded me of a free mall performance. Her vocals weren't there at all, but something struck me and I liked her. Perhaps it was the sun beating down on my head in the seat miles up from the stage. Perhaps it was the beer breath from the drunk dancers the row in front of us intoxicating me. I liked Britney. I prided myself on buying her CD's the day they came out. I've been to every concert (Well, one per album) except the last one. I think it's fare to say, Brit, I've got YOUR Boom Boom!

I declared from the beginning of her downfall that she would return. Through Kevin Federline, a cop out wedding (Support it.) , a shaved head, drinking (Totally support it.), vagina flashing (Okay, not too into it.), a shaved head (Hey, whatever.), a stay in the mental institution, being fat (Seriously, no excuse.), Brit, I KNEW there would be a comeback.

And folks... I think it's here, I think it's coming. Have you seen how hot she looks lately??? She coming back folks, I'm willing to put Sawyer on it (Only during his teething stage). Britney, I'm not that innocent, you're not a girl, not yet a woman, you are a performer and I want to see performances. I don't care if you lip sing, hit me one more time with your dance moves, I've been there for you since the beginning and I deserve it.