Before the Beer? A Complex Question

Internet friends, you are so awesome. You make me feel like my angry vagina outbursts are normal and for that I am forever in debt to you.

(Recap: I am over being pissy and NO I'm NOT pregnant. Just an early, uhhh, girl cycle. Joy. If my mother in law was not here, it would of been way worse. This week end up being totally awesome and next time we buy her a ticket here, we aren't letting her go back home. Did I tell you she was in town? Bliss.)

Moving on with my next problem.

I have this friend. She is like totally two-faced. She's all, "Holly, I like you, you are funny. we are MEANT to hang out, we are BEST FRIENDS" and then when I let my guard down, she stabs me in the back.

WTF?

But when I had to go nine months without hanging out with her, it's kind of hard to let her go so easily.

Now I LOVE to hang out with her. Especially with salt around the rim (closing my eyes remembering our times together), I hold her gently and take sips. I let my husband hold her and try a taste.

But just when we get all cozy, I noticed my girl Margarita is attaching herself onto my thighs and it's NOT PRETTY!

What a B-word, right?!?!

Sooo, I'm fatty-boom-batty and I need to lose a few pounds and kick Marg to the curb for a bit. I can't be all jiggly when teaching a kickboxing class.

I.

Just.

Can't.

So, REALLY, I'm thinking about doing a cleanse of some sort. You know, one of those eat like nothing and then the next time you drink, you only need one drink to feel tipsy and not six?

But my REAL question is, when do Is start? Now, with a large pack of Sam Adams in the fridge?

Or AFTER my hubby and I drink them?

Maybe Sam isn't as two-faced as Marg? You guys know all the answers so YOU decide... because I'm five and can't decide for myself.

And you guys are pretty and I only listen to pretty people.

Figuring it out...

It's a sand in vagina kind of

Day?

Week?

Year?


I don't know what is wrong with me. The smallest little things set me off. I get annoyed at people incredibly easy. If something doesn't go my way, I'm pissed. It can't be everyone. It can't be anything on the outside. I'm obviously annoyed with myself but can't put my finger on it. What do I not like about myself? What am I doing that I don't like? WHAT IS MY ISSUE?!?!

WHAT AM I DOING and blaming on everyone else?

Do you have those days? Those weeks? Those years?

My life is totally awesome. My husband is amazing. My family is healthy and way too stinking adorable. We put good food on the table and laugh a lot. I'm in my skinny jeans.

So WHAT THE HELL ME?!?!

For my Valentine's Day Haters

If you are single, always been single, newly single, whatever and HATE today.

It could be worse.

You could be married to me.

I thought Valentine's Day was tomorrow. Once again, I've got nothin'.

Why did he marry me again???

Happy NOT TUESDAY Valentine's Day!

Master Bedroom Re-Do. I need inspiration!

Shoot me.

I'm about to paint again.

And by "paint", I mean ceilings.

Tell me you have had the honor to paint the ENTIRE ceiling of your house. A 6,000 square foot house because the previous owners thought peach was a good color for ceilings.

I wish I was joking.

Soooo, I'm over staring at peach.

And a bad ceiling fan.

IN THE MASTER ROOM.

Don't shoot me, I have an AMAZING HOUSE but the peach needs to be gone. I'm actually thinking a darker ceiling versus white.

Thoughts???


Image here.

How fun is this ORANGE ceiling???


Image here.

The other thing is we have this really odd corner fireplace. It's off center and just doesn't match. I'm going to take some good pictures for you guys and get your advice.

Because I do everything you guys say.

Seriously.

So can you boss me around already? Tell me what to do in my master room!!!

Elance: PHP Programmers and More! (A Review)

Hey web scripter smarty pants, here is another website for you, Elance! You are totally going to get rich and when you do, I'll send you my wish list.

Like a large catamaran. What? Is that asking too much?

Elance.com helps pair professional with companies looking for professional programmers. This is another site you can bid on the projects posted. The great thing about this site is you can rate the programers hired and read their ratings before you hire someone.

I'm addicted to ratings. ADDICTED. If something isn't rated 4 out of five on average, I don't put the money into it. Ratings are huge and I'm sure they changed the way the world spends money. SURE. OF. IT!

So, why wouldn't you check the rating of a programmer you are about to hire?! Another great thing is it gives you the percentage of clients that gave that specific person or business REPEAT business.

THAT IS HUGE!

HUGE!

For all you internet junkies, PHP Programmers and jobs can be found on their site.

Along with a ton of other professionals.

Hi fancy bloggers, I'm talking to you!

Again, this is a site you can build your profile, search for a job, post a job, market yourself and GET PAID.

Because I'm not getting a sweet boat unless you get paid.

And look for those with great ratings! If you are tech savy like my husband and looking to post a position or for a specific job, check out elance.com!

Brought to you by your friends at elance.com.

The contest no one wins! Yay!

If you haven't heard the most sweetest thing happened this weekend.

And no, I didn't watch the Super Bowl so whatever if your team won.

THE SWEETEST THING EVAH: we have a tenant for our condo!!!

Yay!!!!

If you don't say "yay" out loud we aren't friends.

Redeem yourself now if needed.

I told my husband if we found a tenant for our condo, we could get him a new X Box and to my surprise, the damn X Box we thought was broken started working and now my husband is playing all those stupid shooting games again.

Damn those games, what WAS I thinking with that new X Box crap?!?!

Since the X Box is all working I decided that instead of spending the money on an X Box, I can buy paint for the master bedroom. Peach walls and ceilings really aren't my thang. Yeah, THANG.

So I'm all looking at HGTV pictures and wall colors and things to do above my bed when my friend sent me a picture and it was soo above the bed perf.
(As in perfect.)

Image here.


But then we got all cocky like "All we need is love, love is all we need" was sooo below us and were looking for optional lyrics.

She asked if we had a song and I said, hellz yah! It's " From the windowsssss, to the WALL , till the sweat drips down my..."

Do you know this song? Tell me you do!!!

She thought, "From the windows to the wall" would be romantic! I was peeing from laughing because I could only imagine singing this entire song if I saw that lovely wall art in someone's room. I told her it was all or nothing and I'm not so sure how his mom would react to, "Till the sweat drips down my balls." hanging above our bed.

Mom, how would you react?

Here is where the contest begins: Basically you don't win crap except to maybe see your lyrics hung above our bed.

Seriously.

My friend shot down the most awesome Brit-Brit, "HIt me baby one more time."

So, what the HELL is appropriate?!?!

Comment now.

Or else, "Till the sweat drips down my balls" will be hanging above the bed in our bedroom and NO ONE needs to see that!

Today I'm having a BEER... or three.

And not because it's that huge football day, what is it, Super Bowl or something?

No, not that.

We got a tenant for our condo.

He might be involved in some illegal activity, but hey, money talks right?

Ha!

It's snowing so bad up here I'm missing a mimosa brunch with some moms I was super excited about.

So, yeah, a beer for the tenant, a beer for a missed mimosa.

A beer for, umm, whatever, who's counting anyway?

Like, seriously?

You know how I know my kid won't be on the honor roll?


He spit out the pistachio and tried to eat the shell.


Like, seriously.

Strebel Stimulus Package

It's February 1st, a day I was somewhat dreading.

We have a condo that needs a tenant ASAP!

Or we are going to be paying a lot of money a month for an empty (super amazing I might add) condo.

Being a landlord so far isn't fun but watching our money dwindle away is worse. I promised Geoff a new X-Box once we got our unit rented. Our current tenant asked to move out on Wednesday and of course after saying yes we get an email from a tenant that needs a move in date of NOW. Since now is not available, we might lose another potential tenant.

Other tenants are asking for lower rent. We are already going to pay $500 a month on top of what we are asking for rent. We would sell if... I mean, do I NEED to complete that sentence, really?

Ahh, the lovely real estate market.

Our place was on the market a year ago and though we had a lot of showings, we had no bites. We have an AMAZING unit. My husband updated every inch of this high-rise condo. Where there is are not hardwood floors, there is slate. A three-head granite shower, top of the line appliances, cabinets, thick granite counters just to name a few upgrades. The building is upscale, the location could not be better. I dare someone to tell me what is WRONG with our unit.

It's not the unit, or the building, or the location, it's the MARKET.

Hoping the market went up while renting our unit last year was a waste; prices in Denver are LOWER than last year.

LOWER.

Hold on, I need something to cushion that blow...

LOWER than last year.


Ahhhh!!!!

I have a few friends in Vegas watching the real estate markets decline. Their houses are worth maybe half the price they bought them for. Public employees for Nevada are actually living on lower incomes as pay cuts are in effect.

A friend of mine in Maui just wrote me to say her family is moving back to the states. Guess the Maui real estate market isn't doing so hot either.

I think this means one thing: we all need to take more vacations.

Maui says a portion of the declining market is due to a decline in tourism. This article says Las Vegas real estate market slump correlates with a drop in tourism and gaming.

Denver Post recently ran an article asking lawmakers NOT to cut the tourism budget. Seeing that a drop in tourism can break the states economy, it would be wise to keep funding tourism. Agree?


The Strebel Stimulus Package: Major incentives for taking vacations in America.

Ski vacation in Vail this winter?!?! Lets do it!

Sail vacation in the U.S. Virgin Islands?! For a tax break? Why not?!?!

Gamble and drink away in Vegas?!?! Money in the pocket!

Surf and tan away in Maui?!?! If you get money back for that vacation, how can you say no?


(Insert yourself napping in above picture.)


Let me make the comments on this post easy on you, just type "Holly for president."


Where would you vacation?!?!