Thursday, November 4, 2010

And I'm not talking about the sheets over your head either.

Don't be a landlord. It totally sucks. You have to constantly convince yourself that asking for rent is not mean and well, some other stories I don't think I can legally get into.

Also-

I'm pretty sure our house is haunted. Well, I WANT it to be haunted... kinda but when I was in the kitchen two days ago, the spatula in this pitcher thing in the MIDDLE of the kitchen island over a foot and a half away from the edge jumped OUT of the spatula holding thing, leapt OVER the counter and landed super loud on the floor. If that is not a dead person raging against the kitchen, I don't know what is.

This raises the question: What do I do?

Do I have enough evidence to call in the big guns like Ghost Hunters or Paranormal Society? And then the next question IF YES is what do I wear? Should I keep the hair brown or go back to blonde? Maybe I should tape myself and see what lighting makes my skin look like angels shining their booties down from heaven?

Fine, more evidence? The XBox broke. Usually I would be dancing with joy and paying all of you who thought evil thoughts toward that evil machine that makes my husband play shooting games for hours while my boobs leak milk and toddler screams because I'm not fun enough BUT my friends, you would be wrong.

See, when we moved in here, we lost cable. See ya skater, too broke for you. We kept the netflix and I've since watched every ghost show I can possibly stream online.

And then the spatula jumped off the table through a hoop of fire, calling my name, pulling my hair and then landing on the floor and then the X box spontaneously caught on fire. OR the spatula fell and the XBox broke, stop with the beady eyes, geeze.

If you have been reading this blog, you know that I've been itching for a ghost to make an appearance so I can put his or her name on the chore chart and go about my day with less dishes to clean.

So if this isn't it, If THIS is not my big landlord to a ghost break, you better just tell all the people you think might kick the bucket soon to fly my way. We have an awesome view and I only evict the living.

Just sayin'.

9 comments:

NICKI said...

Absolutely you should call Ghost Hunters! That show is SUCH a tease - nothing EVER happens and if ghosts start vacuuming when it's their turn it'll be the best show ever and they will rerun it every other hour and you will make a ton or royalties.

You better go shopping RIGHT NOW!

Maggie May said...

ghost on the chore chart!!! you are brilliant!

Unknown said...

hahahaha ghost on the chore chart! that's amazing =)
Love reading your posts first thing in the morning -- they make me smile =) and THAT always makes my day better =)

Robin said...

I have been trying to get dogs on the chore chart for years and it hasn't worked yet. I hope you have better luck!

Diva's Thoughts said...

Putting the ghost on chore duty is a terrific idea!!!

Aurora Sisneros said...

You need a Ouija board STAT!!!!!!

I left mine in a haunted place one time. Left it in there all alone. Left the little spooky indicator thingy right in the middle.

Came back, and it was pointed to the R.

Ramona? Raymond? RUN?!

Jenny DB said...

LOVE your posts. Hope your ghost problem goes away... :-)

Pardonne Moi said...

"you know that I've been itching for a ghost to make an appearance so I can put his or her name on the chore chart and go about my day with less dishes to clean."

Oh my God, I think I'm in love with you!

spagirljenna said...

HAHAHA!!! You are a Trip!
My friend told me ONE BIG reason he married his Wife was because when he admitted that he had seen a Ghost she did not Freak... Instead she seriously replied, "I wonder why it's here?".
This story is true. Honest to Goodness.