Just another post.

You guys impress me, like REALLY impress me.

You have all sorts of blog posts from Thanksgiving and now posts showing your house all decorated for Christmas, meanwhile I feel like I'm just swimming up from underwater and taking my first gasp of air.

Thanksgiving was awesome but super duper busy.

This weekend was super duper busy.

Today is super duper busy.

BUT here is the only picture I took from Thanksgiving: the table.


I know, it's EXACTLY what you wanted to see right? But it's kinda cute? Little Martha Stewartish? Tell me I'm getting better at this home stuff...

Have to head out now. Love you guys!

Happy Monday to all and to all a happy Monday.
(Not really the same ring as Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night but hey, I had good intentions!)

Drunk or Kid? Part Two

Ahhh, I'm feeling better. Thanks for those of you that joined me in my vent-fest. I feels good to get it out.

Now that we are all feeling good- we are right?

It's time for the Drunk or Kid part TWO. Yay!

If you haven't played before, it's easy. I tell you a story and you guess if it happened while I was drunk or a kid and I give you the answer in the next Drunk or Kid. Got it? I'll start with answering the last drunk or kid then give you a new one.

Previous drunk or kid:

I wrote: I stayed the night at a friend's house and peed in their sock drawer in the middle of the night. Oops.

Most of you answer DRUNK. Geeze, you guys sure think I drink a lot. Well, fooled a few you... that said kid. YES, I was drunk and it's my most embarrassing story to date!

I was right after I moved from Chicago back to L.A. I decided to fly to Chicago to hang with some friends. Word spread and soon we had a list of people all going out the night I was in town. I was suppose to stay the night at my friends house who totally dug the bartender at the bar we were going to. We get to the bar have a few drinks and a MAGICIAN shows up. YEAH. I love magic. MAGIC IS REAL. I once saw David Copperfield in Vegas, he flew over my table, lit my napkin on fire and turned it into a ROSE. Right in front of my face! Sooo, I'm kinda weak for magic. Needless to say, I stayed way longer than I should have and drank WAY more than I should have just because some guy was making things disappear behind my ear. When it was time to head out, bartender dude leaves work early to go home with my FRIEND and I'm left without her place to stay in. Luckly, my other friend's roommate was in Alaska for a few weeks and let me crash in that room.

Let me give you some background on this guy: He is super neat, his sock drawer is organized, all his DVD's are in alphabetical order, not a hint of dust on anything. The guy is UBER organized and clean. OH and LOVES his dogs.

So I woke up and wasn't really sure what happened the night before. I look up to see framed pictures of dogs and things start to come back to me. I crashed in his room because my other friend ditched out early to hang with her crush. I look around the room and notice that this room is a disaster: his computer desk is taken apart and his keyboard on the floor. The drawers are taken OUT of his dresser and thrown everywhere, clothes are on the floor and the room is just a pig stye. This is NOT what this guys room would normally look like. I convince myself that he must of left in a rush and packed super last minute.

A few days later I get a call from him: I left him my necklace on the nightstand and my urine in his sock drawer.

I was mortified, still am.


Some of my favorite stories from you:

Jenny says: I thought doing backflips off the diving board was a great idea until my best friend smacked right down onto it with her mouth, gushing blood and teeth everywhere. I instantly puked into the pool instead. Drunk or kid?

I vote KID! Jenny?

Robin says: Tried to do a cartwheel wearing a dress. Didn't work out so well because I forgot I was wearing a dress. Drunk or a kid?

I vote KID! Robin?

Jenny DB says: OK, on a hot summer day I forgot to close the door and the dog got out and was so worried he'd get hit I had to chase him up and down the streets in my bathing suit. ultimately switched to rollerblades so i could actually catch the dog. Drunk or kid? :-)

I vote KID!


Several of you had kartwheel mishap stories and I'm voting kid for all those. If I'm right, you guys need to drink more often! ;)


Drunk or Kid part TWO!

Here goes:

My friend was over and we thought it would be a fun to see if we could launch my brother into the air with our legs. We knew there needed to be two sets of legs under him, I mean, it was two girls trying to launch a dude. He was game. We launched him and when he landed he hit his head on something and got knocked unconscious.

Were we DRUNK or KIDS?


Your turn! Give me a story in the comments or write a post on your blog and link it back here so we all can read it and joke about your misfortune, muah-ha-ha!

Lets all sit at the round table and speak our mind.

Talk.

And vent.

I just wish that we can all chat it up and your comments could appear

here.

And HERE.


Here?

Basically wherever the hell you want to put them.


These pillows are really popular right now.

(Image from this Etsy shop.)

The "ampersand pillow"

And I want one. BAD. I love the look, it would look GREAT on my couch but can we all skip on the "ampersand" crap. I mean, it's an AND SIGN.

I feel like the ampersand people all went to a college for smart people, eat caviar while laying their pretty heads on ampersand pillows while I just went to a college for smart ENOUGH people but not smart enough to get into Stanford and only slightly smart because we call the ampersand an AND SIGN college and for sure am not eating fish eggs on my very plain couch.

My kids are exhausting me. They are fun and cute and I love them but they are exhausting. Sawyer will not play by himself to save a life and Charlotte wants to be held constantly.

Sawyer is more and more fun every day. He is funny, like REALLY FUNNY. He entertains me, makes me laugh, plays pretend. His favorite thing to do right now is throw the word "poop" into a random sentence and see how his listener reacts.

Frankly, it's hilarious and I'm thinking about joining him in this game at inappropriate times.

On the flip side, he makes me sooo tired. I'm in bed before 8pm on most nights and if I'm not the next day feels like a hangover without the fun night before.

But you guys are being all thankful and crap and here I am,

VERY THANKFUL.

I'm very thankful of my family but some days I want to call a sitter and ditch mom duties for a day.

I went to the OB the other week to make sure the vagina is still sunshine and rainbows and the OB asked the most hilarious question: What are you guys using for birth control?

Obviously she doesn't have a two year old.

I was venting to my friend on facebook last night. I was kinda pissy and knew she would join me in my evil schemes. When I was done chatting with her she said I'm glad you feel better.

Or something like that, I didn't print out our conversation but the point is, she totally changed my mood and HOW in the world was I suppose to win a fight when I'm all happy?

I told her THANKS FOR NOTHING.

Or something like that.

She probably got off the computer and put her happy head on an Ampersand pillow.

Some friend huh?
(Friend I chatted with last night, you know I still love you right?)


This is where I pass the mic to you. Chat it up. Let it out. I'm listening...

Macintosh rocks, for realsies.

I hate looking dumb or sounding dumb but it seems that I sound dumb more and more often. It's like my children have sucked the brains out of my head and grilled it on some kabob stick for the mountain lions up here to consume.

BRAINS ARE GONE.

I hate when I sound dumb or if I spell something wrong but lately, almost every morning (and only in mornings before coffee so maybe I'm not dumb just caffeine deprived?), I say something so wrong, Geoff asks if Yoda is speaking.

Which is why i was kinda afraid to tell him that I'm pretty sure our house got hit by lighting.

Twice.

Also my husband is all serious smart-pants. Really. He has this computer job where he looks at stuff and comes up with answers and when I ask what he is doing he says, "looking for codes" which to me looks like he is staring at the back of a Highlights magazine looking for the pictures that don't belong but I don't see pictures or even words. I see jumbles of meaningless things that are all important and crap and he knows what they are, what they mean and what to do to make the world not explode.

So I didn't want to sound dumb and say lighting struck the house if that means that I sound dumb because maybe if lightning ACTUALLY hits your house, your house catches on fire or something but I DON'T KNOW because I've never had a house that got hit by lighting.

All I know is I was by myself on the couch when it seemed like the air just lit up. Almost like there was a bolt of lightning without the bolt but with light. Ummm, kinda like a strobe light went off for half a second.

And during that there was the sound of radio static in the air.

When I told Geoff that last part he asked, "Where? WHERE did you hear that?"

But there wasn't a "where", it was everywhere. it sounded like static took over the air.

There was thunder too but I never SAW any lighting.

And the internet went out.

I walked into Geoff's office when it happened again, the radio static, the strobe light thing throughout the air. I wanted to turn on his computer to see if anything went wrong. Did lighting REALLY hit our house? I used a pencil with a rubber eraser to actually press the power button because WHO KNOWS where lighting travels through to fry me up like the english muffin I left in the toaster too long last week.

His computer turned on but no internet.

When I told him what happened, he went to fix stuff to only realize that our wireless router was completely fried.

And lighting hitting our house might be the only explanation.

I'm not dumb.

I'm not Yoda.

And since he had reason to go into the Mac store to get the AirPort checked out, he also took in my MacBook that took a big crap several months ago after, I S-word you not, a LIGHTING STORM.

My macbook is about 2 years passed warranty.

We got a BRAND NEW AirPort.
I'm getting a BRAND NEW hard drive and casing.

Because they said, "customer satisfaction".

I love you Mac, I'll never EVER go PC again.

My macey-book gets to come home tomorrow. If it wasn't for the lightning, the poor thing would still be up in my closet sitting next to my Amy Winehouse wig, I'm so excited I could just PEE!

But I'll spare you the pee because like we tell our two year old, "Big boys and girls go in the POTTY."

We're pretty much going to get all Mary-Kate and Ashley on you.

Cause we're so famous.



If you aren't sure what to say, let me help you:

"The girl in the orange tank top is like, sexy hot."

"Wow, check out the girl in the orange tank top at the beginning, I would give ANYTHING to know her!"

"Girl in the orange tank top, can we be friends? And who is that little guy in the commercial? I would give up my left arm to see that kid on my TV more often."

"Is that the cutest little boy I've ever seen in my life? The chick in the orange tank top must be his mom cause she is sooo pretty!"


Should I keep going?

(This was shot over a year ago while I was pregnant with Charlotte. Excuse Sawyer's new parents in the commercial, I had to run back to our condo for a showing while they were filming. If you are in Denver and want to go to a really awesome gym, Matrix is my fav!)

Parenthesis explanation number two. (This isn't a review, I just wanted to show you how famous I am, duh!)

SHUTTERFLY Christmas Cards and 50 free cards for BLOGGERS!

I opened a box a few weeks ago and gasped in excitement: red and green felt galore. My mother in law sent me a birthday package filled with Christmas craft goodies.

She said, "I really hope you like it."

I mean, does she know me, OF COURSE I LIKE IT! I'm in love with it.

Christmas is my favorite of all time, the cookies, the decorating, the love you send to others, the music, the movies, the SANTA, the CARDS! Now I'm just using caps because I'm EXCITED! I was pretty lazy last year (meaning tired and pregnant) and ready to have a festive (meaning totally over the top) celebration this year.

By festive, I don't mean expensive, but loving and spirited and VERY red and green!

This year I'm sending my awesome family and friends Shutterfly Christmas cards with pictures of my cute kids.

I love Shutterfly! We have lots of shutterfly love in this house, picture books from vacations, prints in frames, and this year we are sending some cute pictures and loving words in a holiday card from Shutterfly.

Have you used them before? Let me tell you, it's easier to load your pictures onto Shutterfly than facebook, the resolution is never compromised and the possibilities are endless.

LETS GET ONTO THE CARDS!!!

This Gift Tag Card is adorable!!!


Your favorite picture wrapped up like a cute little Christmas tag is a simple and classy way to send your cheer.

Sparkling Lime Snowflakes might be the card for us. Can the sample picture of the boy making a snow angel be any cuter?

Of course my husband would be hogging the three pictures to the left chainsawing or skiing down our driveway.

And my favorite of all, Holly Chocolate. It's cute, classy and it has my name in it. Does it get much better?


Shutterfly has an assortment of cards to suite your family's needs including Holiday Photo Cards, Christian Christmas Cards, even Custom Christmas Cards not to mention Holiday Gift Tags and Christmas Party Invitations. If you don't know Shutterfly, they are worth checking out!


If you blog, you can receive 50 free cards just by spreading the word. Go here for more info!

I love you guys and can't wait to show you the finished card. Did I mention I already got the cutest outfits for the Christmas picture? CUTEST!

And I'm not talking about the sheets over your head either.

Don't be a landlord. It totally sucks. You have to constantly convince yourself that asking for rent is not mean and well, some other stories I don't think I can legally get into.

Also-

I'm pretty sure our house is haunted. Well, I WANT it to be haunted... kinda but when I was in the kitchen two days ago, the spatula in this pitcher thing in the MIDDLE of the kitchen island over a foot and a half away from the edge jumped OUT of the spatula holding thing, leapt OVER the counter and landed super loud on the floor. If that is not a dead person raging against the kitchen, I don't know what is.

This raises the question: What do I do?

Do I have enough evidence to call in the big guns like Ghost Hunters or Paranormal Society? And then the next question IF YES is what do I wear? Should I keep the hair brown or go back to blonde? Maybe I should tape myself and see what lighting makes my skin look like angels shining their booties down from heaven?

Fine, more evidence? The XBox broke. Usually I would be dancing with joy and paying all of you who thought evil thoughts toward that evil machine that makes my husband play shooting games for hours while my boobs leak milk and toddler screams because I'm not fun enough BUT my friends, you would be wrong.

See, when we moved in here, we lost cable. See ya skater, too broke for you. We kept the netflix and I've since watched every ghost show I can possibly stream online.

And then the spatula jumped off the table through a hoop of fire, calling my name, pulling my hair and then landing on the floor and then the X box spontaneously caught on fire. OR the spatula fell and the XBox broke, stop with the beady eyes, geeze.

If you have been reading this blog, you know that I've been itching for a ghost to make an appearance so I can put his or her name on the chore chart and go about my day with less dishes to clean.

So if this isn't it, If THIS is not my big landlord to a ghost break, you better just tell all the people you think might kick the bucket soon to fly my way. We have an awesome view and I only evict the living.

Just sayin'.

Just another Halloween post but with cuter kids.

Ha! Just kidding, but got your attention huh?

The hubby wanted a Halloween Party so this is what he got. If I actually took pictures after the party started, you would see a lot more but we had some great company... okay and a few beers.

Sawyer helped decorate:



I insisted I take a picture WITH the kids since I'm always behind the camera:




Craft table for the kids:




Pre fat cells:




Floating Heads-




in cider:




Spray painted mini-pumpkins with chalkboard paint for the kids:


Loved these two:


Hope it was a good one. Now, who is ready for Christmas?!?!?!