This became a no fun venting post. No one really should read this.

I was going to try and write a nice post on things I learned yesterday and be all happy and bright, but I just pulled two of my favorite things out of the dryer that I meant to NOT put in they dryer and they are both ruined. Totally ruined and things I can't buy again. UGH! I'm really annoyed. Seriously, stop reading this if you have a penis.

It probably doesn't help that the biggest thing I got for mothers day was my period and ever since I had Sawyer those don't go very well. I used to breeze by them, barely noticing the slight inconvenience the visit brought. Now it's like my body is at war with itself and for at least 24 hours I don't want to speak to anyone. Obviously, Geoff bears the brunt of this. I would say poor guy, but I don't feel that way. I don't feel bad for any of you guys out there. You know when I'll feel bad? Do you want to know when I'll feel bad?!?! No, actually, I would never feel bad, only even. l might feel 'even' when several days out of the month, you have to stick wads of cotton up your penis. When your cramps get so bad, you just have to breath until you get a break and prepare for the next one. When you feel ugly and hated and fat and annoyed and WE want to know WHY you feel that way, give me an explanation, talk to me, talk to us, talk it out. I want you to talk out something you can't explain because there is no reason for you to feel like the world is against you except your hormones are king. They are a mean, king dictator and you have nothing you can say about it. No voting for you. Ever feel that?! No, of course you guys don't feel that! Okay, how about this, you know when you feel that urge to release yourself? It's got to be pretty damn strong if some of you can't wait to get off the plane, or out of the train to do it. No, you've got to do it in front of me, an innocent bystander not wanting to see your junk on the way to the grocery store, which by the way is small and you should probably hide it FOREVER. HOLD IT IN damn you. Okay, so times that by 500 and the urge isn't to pleasure yourself, it's to feel bad about yourself and fat. I hate feeling fat. Feel fat, and pissed and stick cotton up your penis. THAT is when I'll feel better about all this.

The thing that really pisses me off is the thing that set me off this morning could have been prevented. Totally prevented. Here I am now, annoyed, frustrated, fat, hated, with two less things to wear than just an hour earlier.

Happy Monday. I'm going to find something happy and bright.