A Mouse Update

I totally freaked you guys all out with the mouse story, didn't I? Well, yeah, they totally gross me out too. I mean, I FREAK out if I see one and actually seeing them is pretty rare.

Geoff deals with all things critter. I grew up volunteering for the fire department, I was an EMT in L.A. for crying out loud, I CAN SEE GROSS THINGS! I can!

That was until I saw my first mouse.

I had no idea I was so prissy. I am really freakin' prissy!

Mice are gross. I keep trying to think about Cinderella and how the cute mice were her friends but how nasty is that: a mouse as your friend?!

Sorry Cindy.

So, there was that first time I saw one. Hi freak out, nice to meet you.

And then there was last week.

Geoff got a new log splitter and I'm pretty sure he cut enough logs for the entire country to use. Maybe we should set up shop and sell fire wood in front of Whole Foods. They are trying to sell fire wood made out of Coffee Beans. Have you seen this? Pricey!

Geoff was on a log cutting extravaganza right outside the basement french doors with both doors WIDE OPEN, all day for several days. The french doors are just to the left of this ginormous wood pile. Mice LOVE wood piles. I think it makes their heart smile and our wood pile is making their heart so freakin' joyous because it's HUGE. Geoff thinks he is like Fort Knox security standing at the door and no mice can get past him but he also forgets all the breaks he takes to go upstairs and get a new beer. Call me crazy but I'm pretty sure that was like the red carpet invitation for mice to come live inside where it doesn't rain or have birds flying around trying to swoop them up.

(Note to self: set mouse eating birds loose in house.)

I know they got in the house that way because the next day is when a mouse was spotted.

I heard him first: the mouse squeak.

After hushing Sawyer five million times so I could be SURE it sounded like a mouse and giving myself a huge pep talk about how awesome I am, I finally build the courage to look down the stairs into the basement and there it was.

It kinda looked like a leaf.

I grab my iphone and carefully tip-toe downstairs.

I look over every stair making sure no fanged mouse makes a surprise attack on me, turn the corner and see it.

Really, it was just a leaf.

I take a breath of relief and then the leaf moves.

I run upstairs screaming.

Squeak. Squeak.

Pep talk again. Down the stairs again and it peeks out from under the leaf that probably blew in while Geoff was cutting his one zillionth log: a little bitty one inchish baby mouse. I take a picture on my iphone and send it to Geoff with attached message, "I'm kicking your butt."

And I knew it. I freaking KNEW it, we are going to be eaten alive by mice and this was proof, the second mouse we spotted since living here. I had to get rid of it. It saw me and froze. I think the normal size mouse would have darted off to some secret location but this guy was freaking out because he knew I saw him so I did what any other rational mouse seeing person would do.

I roared.

I roared at it like I was Tyrannosaurus Rex.

I'm not sure where this came from but it was working, the thing wasn't moving and I was getting all cocky and even put my arms out in front of me like a dinosaur and stomped my feat and roared louder.

it was all pre-historic up in my basement.

My two year old that doesn't stop making noise unless he is sleeping was even caught off guard because it was silent upstairs as I roared and stomped.

The thing played dead.

I ran upstairs and found an old to-go coffee mug thing I could trap him with and then throw away after to use as my mouse catching device. By the time I went back downstairs the little guy tried to escape, I found him and roared again.

No joke, this dino act was working, he froze, I stomped my feet, he stayed frozen so I ran over and threw a cup over him.

Can I tell you how hard and fast my heart was beating? I still thought he might surprise me and jump up and claw my eyes out before I could get the cup on him.

All hail me because I totally caught a mouse in a cup. I thought about not doing anything before catching him until Geoff came home but I couldn't risk the mouse getting away. Hell no is that thing going to be taking up a room and ordering breakfast in bed. Hell to the no.

So I caught him.

You know what Geoff said? "Ummm, why didn't you put him outside?"

He was suppose to be proud of me, hugs and kisses and maybe a special mouse catching prize like a new pony but he was mad I didn't put the thing outside. He was faced with a mouse under a cup under some somewhat heavy tool so the mouse couldn't tip the cup over and escape. He even said, "We moved to the middle of the mountains on property, what did you think you would find?"

Gold, duh.

So, I'm leaving this open for you to tell me how awesome I am, choose your words carefully, I have a mean roar.