All physical attributes will be the best from both you and your love completely bypassing your ears those mean elementary kids made fun of because mother nature knows EVERYTHING. Your kids are going to be gorgeous-models even and every other parent will be jealous of your childrens' gorgeousness. You might even have made up those business cards already for the talent scouts in the mall.
Smart. Your kids will not only be smart but more of the freakish Dougie Howser kind of smart. Twelve year old doctors are totally legit especially when they are your children.
Nice. Only the spawns of the Devil hit, take toys away from others and are mean. Your children will be angel babies, case closed.
They will love their parents, be clean, not be picky eaters, be calm in their car seats, love their siblings.
YOU HAVE PERFECT CHILDREN in the future you created.
I used to teach preschool at a really strict school. My husband is a smarty pants. I am... well, I can read so what could go wrong? I had all these ideas of what my kids would be like and what I would do as a parent to ensure all of the ideas in my head were going to come true.
I thought I did everything right.
I was addicted to websites that explained my child's brain development in very scientific ways. Baby Center emails were sooo below me. I read the doctor websites, the teacher web sites, I read everything.
I didn't let him watch T.V. (Notice past tense?)
Breastfed him well over a year, it is the brain food.
No sugar, no preservatives, all home-made baby food, everything free range and organic.
He learned sign language starting at six months old and knows well over a hundred signs.
I subscribe to home schooling sites, we do learning activities, read a ton of books, joined a play group so he could be around other kids, took him to museums NEVER BABY TALKED to him, used full words all the time. I didn't do things by the book, I tried to go well beyond them. WELL BEYOND.
He is two and a half and let me tell you, one year olds can run talking circles around this kid.
Getting Sawyer to talk is like pulling teeth.
Kid can't even say "blanket".
He is JUST learning sentences: "Mama up please." "Dada go too."
Getting him to put together words took a lot of praise and even a few reward chocolate chips.
I just feel like all the hard work we put into this kid, all the things we did "right" didn't pan out as expected. He is his own.
Basically, it didn't matter WHAT THE HELL WE DID, he is where he is because that is WHO he is.
I feel like the bad parent. I feel like I have to explain myself: our parenting history. When Sawyer doesn't sing his ABC's like other kids his age, I quickly snap back a piece of history, all the hard hard we put into him as his parents, all the things we DID RIGHT.
But it doesn't matter.
Read all the books you want, read all the websites you want. I now know everything and have all your parenting questions answered:
Do whatever the hell you want, nothing matters.
Case in point?
I've been trying to get Charlotte to roll over for a few weeks now. The doctor is concerned because she is not as heavy as they want her to be (story of my life), and the doctor wants to be sure she is hitting all her milestones. She needs to be sitting up and rolling over by her next doctor's visit in two weeks.
I lay her down, sit just out of her reach, shake toys, make lots of noise, clap, sing songs. Does she roll over? No.
I set her down this morning on her back, and got on facebook to chat with a friend, completely ignoring my children.
I even sat on the high bar stool that Sawyer can not climb to ensure my children have no access to mommy (Can you say 180, I mean, no, can you say RESEARCH?). I was going to enjoy my coffee HOT and mindlessly chat with a friend.
I turn around and Charlotte rolled over.
By herself.
For the first time.
Without me TRYING to get her to roll.
Send back those books, enjoy your wine, let them watch T.V., the research is in: Ignore your children, it's for the better.
12 comments:
GIRL! You have no idea how many moms the world over you are helping with this story, dude!!!
You still haven't convinced me to try it, tho. ;)
We had the same problem with Diana when it came to talking. She was in speech therapy till this year. We think that the sign language became a crutch for her (but I am not against using sign language on kids, it just didn't work for us). This time around we are going to do Greek since I need to learn it too (Diana's school teaches it).
I agree that your kids are going to do what they need to do when THEY are ready to do it. Perfect example? Potty training.
Damn that was a bitch.
oh geez. Thanks for the heads up! At least you saved me a few glasses of wine :)
This will be important for my future kids. I will remember to ignore them. That sounded bad. :)
Anyway, you certainly gave them a good amount of brain power - seems like they will just use it when they are good and ready. I can relate. :)
I feel your pain. And yet I laugh. Too funny.
My girlfriend and her husband are going through the same thing with their son. He is 3 years old and still doesn't make complete sentences. He rarely talks, just grunts and screams. His preschool is now getting involved to see if they can help.
Yup, it all usually works out in the end, and there are such big ranges between kids for what is "normal." You may want to consider having your boy evaluated for speech services if you are concerned. I didn't think my boy was that speech delayed, but the pediatrician recommended it (when he turned two). He got free speech services in the home for one year, made so much progress, and is doing great. That early intervention was fabulous.
Retired teacher here and I say that children can be taught amazing things BUT they have to be ready to learn. Each child has their own learning schedule. Unfortunately they can't say, "OK, Mommy, it is time to teach me to roll overl" However, she probably rolled over sooner than she would have, had you not worked with her.
I am impressed with the length of time you breast fed and that you MADE YOUR OWN BABY FOOD! Also, I am impressed with the amount of time you spend with your children. YOU ARE DOING THINGS JUST RIGHT! Keep it up, keep talking in full sentences. This prepares them and they both will take off when they are ready, on their own schedule.
kt
You know what? Your kid, I am sure, will be fine. Better than fine, but outstanding...you know why? Because you care and love them to pieces even when they don't follow your standards you set for them. Happy kids are waaaay better than smart kids. Happy AND smart kids are what you read about in those books,those freaks of nature! Milestone, schmile stones. You know your kid is SMART and that is all that matters... until he has to apply for college. Then the people that write those stupid parenting books will decide if he is =) You are doing great and your kids will thrive because of all this concern. These books put too much pressure on moms and kids. Go with your gut. I will believe you if you say he is exceptional....if you believe me about my kids too!;)
You are doing things right! I'm super impressed with a lot of that stuff (especially the tv part... I was good at keeping my first baby away from it but my second got exposed to it a lot earlier!)
But, I do think, when it comes down to it there's a lot more physiological differences in kids that effect what they do and when. Besides it sounds like he's been communicating like a pro since he was six months old. That's awesome!
Our culture is INSANE. Totally crazy. That is what I remind myself every time I ever start to feel the pressure - did she do this? how much does she way? how tall is she? can she walk in a straight line blind folded while listening to Raffi played backwards all whilst counting to ten ? - because if NOT - whoa boy, we're in trouble.
Our culture is kookoolookoo about child development. Rent the DVD titled Babies. They ALL turn out just fine :)
I love this post. Love it. Because I am learning, all too painfully, that it doesn't matter what I want my son to do..he will do what HE wants to do..WHEN he wants to do it! And all I can do is love that little stink while he runs the show :)
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