Sugar and Spice, but not really that Nice

The server walked up to the three of us, reached one of the drinks over to me and said, "Let me take a WILD guess, the pomegranate martini is yours?"

Me- "Nope"

Geoff raises his hand the the server rotated his arm and placed the martini in front of my husband.

Server- "Okay, then THIS one is yours."

I turned it down before he set the dirty martini in front of me, Geoff's friend nods his head, claiming the drink as his.

Server- "Okay, so the beer is, uhhh, wow. Here you go."

Me- "Yup, it's just us BOYS hanging out!"

Cheers.

He laughed and said just when you can predict a drink order, you get it all wrong. Told a story about a prissy girl who ordered a Bud Light while the three guys she was with ordered girly drinks.

I said I would never do Bud Light while sipping my cold Shilling.

He laughed. I'm sure he considered me prissy, he looked a little shocked but the truth is, I'm way more boyish than people expect, and sometimes it's not so funny.

I've mentioned it before, but I have a VERY masculine form of communication. I do and yes, there are different styles and yes, there are even long tests you can take to see which side you tend to lean into (or stumble and fall in my case). Most likely you don't need a test. I'm not very sensitive, I say exactly how I feel and many times a little too harshly. I'm a fixer. I don't listen, I am thinking of ways to FIX your problem. I've realized there are very few times I listen, and those times usually circle around a tragic loss, something you had no control over or if you are giving me directions. Outside of tragedy and directions, I'm a fixer, and truth teller and people are not the biggest fans of those kind of people, nope, not at all.

My friend said it's hard to have a blog and not write about the latest fight her and her husband got into, or how pissed off she is at her neighbor, knowing her neighbor might read and said post might create a rift that can't be brought together again. Sometimes your emotions are a lot stronger and words a lot more hurtful than they should be for such events. Yes, it's hard to not get on here and complain about how pissed I am at someone or something, but the truth is, if my husband had a blog and he wrote how often I annoyed him, I'm sure his blog would be full of colorful post that hurt me badly. Sometimes I'm not a cup of tea.

For instance, my husband just wanted to vent, get a little support, get some loving words from his kind and thoughtful wife.

My response to his venting? "Work harder. It's not going to happen as you sit here complaining to me. Obviously you aren't doing enough to make it happen."

Ouch.

Ummm, yeah. That is really what I said. He walked out of the room and didn't talk to me for hours. I wasn't upset, sad, bummed, hurt, nothing. I went on like normal and as I thought about it, just hoped maybe my words made him upset enough to trigger an action button.

He didn't need a trigger, he needed someone to listen, to understand, to be a sounding board and found the wrong person.

I never said sorry but he did. How awesome is my husband?! How sucky is his wife?

My friend called me yesterday. Talked about why she is upset with her 'boyfriend'. Umm, this guys is NOT her boyfriend. Just about every time she asked me a question regarding his actions I said, "Well, it's because he doesn't care about you, AT ALL. Zero."

She was silent and I continued, "When was the last time he called you just to say hi or ask how you are doing?"

Silence.

"It's because he doesn't love you. He doesn't like you. He doesn't care for you, so just stop it already. It's ridiculous".

Silence.

See how good I am at this?! I realized at that point I needed to stop. "Okay, sorry, I know you don't like to talk about this with ME, I'm the WORST person to talk to. "

Sometimes common sense will hit me before my friend will but it's not often.

Last night, my manhood was okay, I sipped a beer, but only to not feel the pain of being a female (Hello, cramps?!?!) and realized how lucky I am to have friends and family that love me and deal with me, harsh or not, prissy or boyish and promised to never change, and if I do change, change just enough to be manageable, maybe a better listener, but for sure not enough to drink Bud Light.