Boys and Breakups

I was listening to the radio the other week when Michelle Branch came on. I don't know what it is, perhaps the time she rode in the back of a truck playing the piano, but I LOVE her. I paused internal conversation to hear her song. I mean, hasn't she been missing since like 1999? This is what I heard:

"Sooner or later you're going to come around
and you'll be sorry when you figure out
that I was always everything that you needed.
Sooner or later, you're going to wish you had me."

Internal conversation resumed but let me fast forward from that moment to a day last week...

My bestest friend wrote me a message really upset. Her good friend was incredibly angry with her and and decided the way to let her know was unfriending her from facebook. Let me tell you, this has happened to me before and I think it's the most immature way to deal with issues EVER. If you have a problem, voice it, if you choose not to, kiss our ass (Yup, I cursed, it happens when I'm mad or passionate) and get over it yourself. Okay, what was I saying again? My friend is mad... okay, right. SO, she end up getting in contact with the immature girl and asking what the hell is going on. Basically it was a whole crap ton of he said, she said boiling down to one specific rumor: A girl never got over a boy and wished she married boy one and not boy two. This rumor was false and everyone found out it was started by boy one's brother and then pinned to my friend as the scape goat and this would of boiled in everyone's veins if my friend didn't seriously confront the issue. No news if they are back to face book friends.

Lets rewind again, but just two days before the unfriend facebook incident. Are you still with me? This all does have a point.

Geoff asked me to find his social security card. This is not an easy task. I'm not very organized, I'm not known for my organizational skills. They say when one person lacks a specific skill, many times their significant other will take over in that arena to compensate for the other person. I have become MUCH more organized since marrying Geoff. I knew I was in for a treat when searching for this card. I went though the envelope I keep all our important stuff in, marriage certificate, birth certificates, social security for me and Sawyer, passports and such but no social security card was to be found with my husband's name on it. The search continued. Boxes, envelopes, files, folders, I pushed on. I pulled a small box from the corner and start searching through the contents, old valentines cards from me (Oh man, I just realized he is going to KILL me if he reads this. Shhh bloggy friends, don't tell him I'm writing about this!) and... AND, let me take a breath, pictures and cards and letters... not from me... from his EX GIRLFRIENDS! It was his EX Girlfriend box!

Stop for a minute: What would you do, right here, right at this moment? Discovery of the box. THE BOX. What would you do?

I looked through the pictures, started reading the cards and my stomach hurt. I don't think this would be a big deal if my husband just got with chicks and hooked up whenever but he wasn't that guy. He is sensitive and loving and when he invests his feelings in someone, he is all in. I knew these were just girls but girls he probably loved. Girls that hurt him, broke his heart, made him cry, made him think, made him re-evaluate things in his life. Made him think things like in that Michelle Branch song, would one person wind up sorry that the other moved on? Would one wish they had the other?

Email exchange:

Me: I'm over looking for your card. Done. In the process I found the ex-girlfriend box and I'm totally grossed out! The search is all you!

Him: Uh-oh. Am I in trouble?

Me: No, I know you had girlfriends, I'm not dumb, I just don't want to find them tucked into some corner of OUR bedroom. P.S. I'm WAY cuter!


He had girlfriends before me. Of course he did. I had a boyfriend before him... well, long before I met him and I only had one boyfriend ever before I met my hubby, so whatever, point is, I HAD ONE TOO! He was someone I loved, someone who broke my heart and someone I thought I could always end up with but time goes by and people get smarter. When I met Geoff, the EXACT day I met him, I knew he was someone I could be with forever. I knew. People say you will know and I called them liars until that day. Geoff was someone different. There is not anyone on this planet more perfect for me than Geoff. If I had not flown to Denver that day, not gone out because I felt bloated, declared it a night in because everyone else flaked on plans, I would have never met the most perfect man for me, I won't say that I have never thought about my ex or other boys I liked but never once have I thought they will one day wish they had me and obviously I don't wish I had them. Life happens and takes you places and people get hurt and people fall in love and one day I think you get to a point where things fall into place, your life is what it should be and all past experiences led you to this most perfect place.

To put it in a nutshell, I think Michelle Branch's song is bull.

If someone broke up with you, didn't try hard enough to make a relationship work, they don't like you. It's soooo simple. Why do we wonder what things mean, why so and so did something that didn't make sense, not call you back, not treat you the way you wanted, bailed on a date? The excuses go on and on on. Simply, they don't like you. They. Don't like. You.

Move on.

In my opinion, "Sooner or later" they AREN'T going to come around. They won't be sorry when they figure out. That you (or I) were not what they what they needed and they aren't going to wish they had us. And I don't wish I had them. Do you? And I know my husband doesn't either. It doesn't matter if there are a few pictures in our room. Those pictures can be a reminder that without the other girls, there wouldn't be me. Life without Geoff is something I couldn't bear and all those moments, love and sadness on both ends brought us to a point in our life where we met, maybe the best day ever. And my friend's friend doesn't wish she married her first boyfriend. She doesn't. And if all we did was live in the past, what a boring and grey life we would lead.

However, I do think that a song like Michelle Branch's song keeps you standing when all you want to do is fall. Keeps your head on your neck when all you want to do is fall apart but sooner or later you're going to figure out that life is totally awesome, even the crappy parts. Though, at that moment of anger, you want wish in the future you could look back at that one person who broke you, point and laugh in their face but when future comes, you are too happy to be vengeful to someone else and most likely, that other person could care less.

OR am I wrong. Do you wish you had someone? Did you let someone go you should not have? Have you made a relationship mistake you would do anything to take back? Did you sit back while someone you loved said "I do" to someone that was not you?

Let me know... sooner or later.