This is what happens when people ask me questions.

I'm just going to say it.

Sperm.

I don't know why my blog has been so private part and hormonal ridden. It just has.

I wasn't going to explain myself, however, I can't help but to do so. Friends are getting pregnant, a lot of them, or trying to get pregnant and they all ask me questions. I can answer a lot but when it comes to your boy's boys. I'm at a loss.

I thought I would research a bit and just put it out there for you.

How long do they live, when should we try, I mean, what REALLY happens?!?!

Ummm.

Everything I've read about the life span says from not very long (outside of the body) to a little bit longer to a lot bit longer averaging 24-48 hours but can live up to 6 days. Basically, I don't know but it did make me wonder...

I don't like reading about things dying. I imagined these cute baby swimming things swimming around happily and then just dropping dead. Did they swim too soon after eating? Cramps will get ya every time! Then I pictured them outside of the body doing everything they could to survive. A lost man in Death Valley dragging his feet, in search of water. Are the sperm thirsty? Are they slowly moving along like that lost man, dragging their tail, passing other dehydrated guys, asking and begging with a throaty, scratchy voice, "Water, wahhhhhh-terrrrrr." I felt bad for these sperm, they need water. And if they die so quickly outside of a good human swimming pool, how many sperm pass up the dead sperm looking for water? Do they care? Do they have a moment of silence or just pass right by their dead teammates looking out for number one?

I couldn't find the answers.

Then I was reading that IF they get into the body, some are like Olympic Swimmers, but others just get lost and go in the wrong direction. What is wrong with these things? I mean, didn't they get a pretty good shove in the right direction? I think if there are soooo many swimmers in one, uhhh, team then there has to be a few colorful personalities in the bunch.

Of course you'll get your jocks, the stoners, the band geeks, the class clown, the couple that so cute, it makes you want to vomit all swimming along on their merry little way. I don't think anyone swims in the wrong direction just to swim. I'm pretty sure the class clown of the bunch gets into a new environment, looks around and CAN NOT stop himself (You know you know this person!) from yelling, "SHARK!!!!! Dude, everyone, swim fast, SHARK!!!!!"

I mean, THAT might make them turn and run, or I mean swim, right? LIKE swim FAST and in any direction they can possibly go so they aren't eaten up by the Cervix Shark.

What about the guys that keep bumping into things. I mean, if they were born swimming and most likely die (Moment of silence please.) swimming, then they have GOT to be GREAT swimmers. A ton of Michael Phelps. So, their tail wags up and down, side to side, whatever to get them places or to the Motherland, but do they also use it to push off of walls? I just can't see them NOT bumping into things and completing the perfect flip turn and pushing off with their tail. That would be the thing that makes the most sense, right? Do they perform flip turns?!?!

Also, what do they do while hanging around waiting for the one true love egg? Do they play flippy cup? Truth or Dare? Mouse Trap? I can't just see them treading water for days, what a bore.

In a quest to answer you questions, I just created more and Mayo Clinic has no answers for me.

So, to all you inquiring minds, all I can say it, just hope no one in there yells 'Shark', other than that, I hope they brought enough games to make the water treading a little more entertaining. I don't know anyone that doesn't enjoy a good game of flippy cup.